Losing Words

Most of us, as we grow older, begin to have brain farts. We'll be chattering away when, all of a sudden, the word we want won't come to mind. I've been having these brain farts for years and adjusted to replacing the word I wanted with another one. It's sort of funny because when we replace a word we often take a step up in our vocabulary and, in doing so, sound rather uppity.

With all the talk about senility and Alzeimers in seniors, we can become a bit nervous when we forget anything. But most of the time we're able to laugh it off. Last summer there were 5 of us older ladies having lunch and one was telling an interesting story. She stopped suddenly, forgetting the next word and looked to the lady on her right for help. That lady, in turn, looked to her right for help. This went around the table until the look landed back on the original lady. We sat there laughing like teenagers.

I love writing on the computer because I can substitute a word when the one I want has escaped me and then insert it later if and when it comes to mind. When I consider how much I learn with every new day, the amount I forget doesn't compare. I think I'm still ahead of the game!

Death of a Lizard

The other night I walked through the bathroom to my bedroom and spotted a streak of black practically fly from one side of the room to the other (the bathroom is possibly 6' wide). It moved so fast I couldn't tell what it was...I was also screeching like a banshee...and just assumed it was a cockroach. Madder than hell that a cockroach had found it's way inside my trailer I pulled out a can of Raid and sprayed all over the little bathroom, unable to see the intruder but bound it wasn't going to escape into another room.

Raid isn't good for human lungs. I choked, backed into the livingroom, returned to the bathroom to spray once more, choked, etc., etc., etc.

Slowly, a tiny little lizard dragged it's poor, poisoned body from behind the sink taps and died right in front of me. Now I was not only poisoned myself but I'd killed a harmless little lizard. The air was rancid with the smell of Raid and I didn't want to handle the lizard. I decided to just close the door and go to bed.

The next morning I disposed of the lizard and aired out the house. All is well!

Writing a Story

I've decided to write a story and have been busy getting it started. I've spent my winters in this senior park since 1998 and have been amazed, aghast, dismayed, and titillated by true life stories which occur here. We jokingly refer to it as a senior Peyton Place. In truth, it is rich with material for many stories. The story I've started to write is a blended mixture of personalities and events, carefully concocted to disguise the true players. This will be my summer project and, when I get enough nerve to present it, it will be by blog.

In the meantime, life goes on here at the senior park and every day now someone is leaving for home. Usually I hate this time of year but I'm kind of happy it's all winding down and I can get back to Canada and all that awaits me there.

Many have left already and more will go over the next few days. By Monday, the park will be very quiet. My plan is to spend lots of time at the pool until I leave for home on April 15th. It will be rather peaceful to have mainly do-nothing days because I've been hard pressed all winter to find an empty day. I jump from one interest to another and just hate to miss out on anything going on...but that is the shape of my winters, not my summers, so I'm not going to complain about not having much empty time.

I'm sending a load of stuff home with a couple who live near me in Canada. My own car trunk is full and I still have a fair amount of stuff to pack in the back seat. How do I manage to do this every year? Yesterday I bought a computer monitor which is in a fair sized box which will take up a lot of the back seat. Now I'm getting worried...but what's new? I really must try to cut back next year.

Cute Story

My neighbor was pushing a little girl on a swing and asked her how old she was. The little girl said "stop the swing!" Ron thought something was wrong so he quickly brought the swing to a stop. The little girl let go of one swing rope and held up her hand showing 3 fingers.

Now, isn't that a cute story?

What Americans Know About Canada

When I come to Florida for the winter I almost feel like I'm at home. At least half of my friends are American but we don't differentiate here. If you like someone they can be from Mars and they'd still be friends. But...every once in a while we Canadians discover how very little some Americans know about Canada.

The other day I went up to the pool early and got into conversation with a lady I'd never met before. I don't know if she spends the winter here or is just in for a short time. In any case, we started talking and she asked me where I was from. I told her "Ontario in Canada". She replied "I'm always amazed at how well you people speak English". What the hell????

I then told her she might be thinking of Quebec and that really threw her because she'd never heard of Quebec. I wonder if she knows there are even more countries in the world outside the U.S.A.?

A Sad Day

One of our friends passed away unexpectedly yesterday and tears flowed all over the park. We care for each other here and no passing goes unnoticed.

The widow was understandably beside herself with grief but was surrounded by caring friends from the beginning. We sheltered her as best we could, giving her a shoulder to cry on. One lady notified their relatives at home and then contacted the insurance company who would make travel arrangements to take the deceased and his wife back home to Canada.

I watched in admiration as the widow took control of herself over the span of a few hours and gained inner strength to carry her through the ordeal still to come. This couple had been married for 54 years, had 4 children, and were fortunate enough to keep their marriage a happy one. It will be very difficult for this lady to be on her own without her precious spouse beside her...but she will survive. She will be strong for her children and her grandchildren. She will be strong because she has to be.

There were brief moments yesterday when she even laughed a bit, remembering the good times they'd had over the years. We let her talk at length about their life together because that will help her heal. Occasionally a tear would fall but she'd drag herself right back to the task at hand...getting through it. Her daughter flew in last night so now we who are just friends can take a step back and let mother and daughter gain strength from each other. This is all part of the healing process and there are still miles to go.

Inspiration

Vanessa Redgrave is currently doing a monologue on stage written about how a woman coped with the death of her husband and daughter. It got me thinking.

When my husband passed away I couldn't rid my house of all his belongings fast enough. Each item was too powerful a reminder of Dennis in his healthy days and it disturbed me deeply to see them around the house...his house.

I sent monstrous piles of clothes to my grandson's church and gave untold piles of paperwork and momentos to my children...our children.

We used a few large, framed photographs at his funeral. Some went to my children and some were supposed to remain with me. It became too difficult for me to see those pictures of him so they also were passed along to my children. His wedding ring, and mine, are in a little silk bag next to him inside the mausoleum niche where his ashes are interred.

Two articles of his clothing I kept. One was a leather jacket that eventually went to one of our grandsons...I hadn't offered it originally because I thought he might feel uncomfortable wearing it but he was thrilled when I did give it to him. The other item was Dennis' leather moccasins. I can't give them away and I can't stand to see them so they're tucked away in the back of a closet. It tears me up now thinking about those darned shoes. Somehow they've become my connection to a man I loved with all my heart at one time.

Why the shoes, I wonder?

Family

A big chunk of our family back home gathered to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday on Friday...she turned 75. Because it was most convenient, they opened up another sister-in-law's house (she's here in Florida) and had ONE of the parties there. It would have been so nice to be there but I'm rejoicing in the fact that my family is still so close and loving that they made a point of getting together for this monumental birthday.

My daughter mentioned that family get-togethers are so much more relaxed than gatherings of friends. With family you don't have to put on a front...they've seen every aspect of you already. It's also important that with family you are in a place where you belong.

When I married into my husband's family it was a real eye opener. They were everything that a family should be...close, caring, and supportive. They gathered me in, as they do with every newcomer to the family, and I consider them no different than brothers and sisters to me. My children were raised right along with their cousins and have remained friends to this day. What is like balm to my soul is that the following generation of children are also friends. How wonderful!

Sure, we have the odd family member we simply tolerate, but "we are family". That simple phrase has the strength of steel.

I Gave Up Fries

Never have I been able to diet without severe hunger and misery defeating my attempts. One of the tricks to losing weight is to only give up one item that is bad for you. I gave up potato chips as my 2007 new year's resolution and haven't had any cravings. I was going to give up french fries for my 2008 new year's resolution but decided to start early. It's been a week and so far so good.

I normally eat a fairly healthy diet but I crave salt...sprinkled on potato chips and fries. Since giving up the chips I haven't noticed any difference in my weight so maybe I've just been eating more fries to compensate. It will be interesting to see what happens with both the chips and fries out of my life. I'll let you know!

Pool Day

We spent a lot of time at the pool today. No-body swims, though, but just floats around in conversation groups. If you looked into our pool on a busy day you'd see a half dozen groupings of seniors floating around on noodles. The noodles are colorful and so are our swimsuits so it looks kind of pretty.

Some of us played "Farkle" in between pool dips. It's a dice game that we also play over in the clubhouse. Almost everyone has a nice, healthy tan except me. I look as though I just arrived...well, not quite but it's that cursed Irish skin!

Since I'm leaving here in three weeks, I'll spend as much time as I can at the pool. During the day it's the place to be, the place to meet friends, and the place to cool off. How lucky we are!

Getting By

I completed the purchase of my friend Carole's trailer this morning. We're so happy we could spit!! The lady who sold it stayed on a while and we talked about various things but one of the conversations got me thinking.

We're told that we should always have 3 months salary tucked away so that it will tide us over if our jobs disappear. I don't know anyone who has been able to do that. How many people who are paying a mortgage and raising a family can afford to set aside about $7-8000 (and up) in case of an emergency? It never happened in my household. Even today, my backup is my line of credit.

I'm told that in order to purchase a nice house these days the buyer has to take on a 50 year mortgage and sometimes can only afford to pay the interest on the loan for the rest of their lives, thereby never really owning their own home. Part of the problem lies with buying above our means but even older houses have become so costly that it's impossible for people earning minimum wage to buy one.

When my husband and I bought our 13 year old house back in 1968 it cost $19,000. Our family income at the time was probably around $10,000 a year. Today, a house in my neighborhood (almost 40 years later) is worth around $200,000. The average income is maybe $50,000 so you can see how much more difficult it is for a family to buy a house in this day and age. I honestly don't know how they do it.

For many years it has been almost necessary for a family to have two incomes in order to get by. In my family, we kept our expectations lower and managed with one regular income and me working part-time. There was never much money for luxuries but we did okay. I used to think that modern families just needed to cut back on their expenses and they'd do as well as my generation did but it's becoming more apparent that the cost of living has simply gotten too high for them to get ahead.

When my husband and I retired I told my children that we'd be spending all of their potential inheritance during our golden years. My lovely children said "go right ahead!" I'm hoping there'll be a bit left for them, though.

A Mean God?

I received one of those e-mails today that was probably meant to encourage all the people who read it to fear god's wrath and run to their nearest church. I know the lady who sent it to me is a sweet and loving lady but this e-mail struck me the wrong way.

My problems with religion start right at the church and it's leaders. If there really is a powerful and all knowing god why do we have to reach him through an organization of undercover sinners who continually beg for our money?

My personal vision of "god" is of an undescribable entity that guides us while we're still here on earth and enfolds us when we die. My "god" doesn't torture and murder someone just because they choose to ignore him/her. Most religions seem to teach that atheists will burn in hell but what of the atheists who spend their lives caring for others and living decent, law abiding lives? My "god" would love these people.

All my life I've seen wars waged in the name of religion. Remember the religious fanatics who were responsible for the horror of 9/11? I often envy truly religious people because they receive much comfort from their religion but I have no respect for fanatics who preach hatred for anyone who doesn't follow their doctrine.

I've found in my lifetime that most church goers really do try to live decent lives and obey the principles of their religion but too many of the church leaders have fallen from grace. With human beings, too much power tends to corrupt and that is true of organized religion.

Logic tells me that we aren't here by accident and that there has to be some explanation for our existence. The most beautiful things in this world aren't man made but part of nature. There's only one way to find the answer and I'm not ready to go yet but, when my time comes, I'll trust my instincts. It's gonna be nice there!

Alone Again

Marilee left yesterday so I spent the night alone...not much difference...and the morning alone...no jokes, no bustling activity. I miss her!

We drove Marilee to the airport late yesterday afternoon and stopped at a Ci Ci's Pizzeria on the way for dinner. I asked Marilee if she'd been comfortable staying with me and she gave me the most wonderful compliment. She said she has never felt more comfortable or welcome staying in anyone else's home. It made me feel as though I'd done something right. I was so happy to have her stay with me but, remember, I don't cook so that could have been a problem. Marilee just added my empty fridge to her repertoire of funny stories. And she likes eating in restaurants, too. And Faye took pity on us more than once by feeding us.

We dropped Marilee off at the airport at 6 P.M., kissed and hugged, and then drove away. The car felt empty of Marilee's vibrant spirit and I missed her.

Bugs

I have an abhorence of bugs. Here in the sunny south the lord of bugs is the cockroach and they could find their way inside a rock. It's been so nice this winter because I haven't seen one bug inside my trailer...until this morning.

Right beside the computer desk, just a little too close to my feet, lay a half dead cockroach. It was succumbing to the deadly concoction my bug man sprays around the trailer once a month. My habit is to let it completely die before I try to dispose of it. I certainly don't want it springing to life in my hand! I am a strong Canadian woman but it's times like this that I wish I had a man around the house.

My husband used to say "look at the size of that little bug and look at the size of you!" and expect me to stop being afraid. He'd even pick the damn thing up when it's little legs were still moving. Yuk!

There isn't much logic to why so many women (not all) are afraid of bugs. We just don't like them. My granddaughter, Aeron, was terrified of little spiders but she allowed someone to lay a big fat snake around her shoulders at Gatorland.

My intruding cockroach was still moving after I started this blog so I sprayed it with Raid to hasten it's death. It should be sufficiently dead soon and then I can gingerly flush it down the toilet...I don't even want it in my garbage.

Coffee Morning

This is a picture of my coffee morning ladies. For about 1 1/2 hours every Tuesday morning we settle the affairs of the world and the park. Settling the park affairs is by far the hardest. From the first day we started our coffee morning we had one rule and that was "no bitchin"...I know I mentioned this before but I really like this rule.

We try not to talk about health issues, either, but this morning one of the ladies who joined us is recovering from a cancer scare. Thankfully, the tumor was benign and she is recovering beautifully. We're always thankful when someone gets good news on that subject.

I've mentioned also how much we laugh here. When you look at the face of it, we're aging ladies with all the small or large problems that come with age but we are blessed with so much enjoyment in our latter years. I know I never laughed as much or had my days so well filled with happiness when I was younger. Maybe the fact that we're older and wiser makes us more appreciative of what we have. Every one of these ladies has a long lifetime of stories and they choose to tell the funny ones. They've already dealt with the rough ones.

1/2 Gone

My niece and her family left today so my sister-in-law and her husband moved back into their own trailer. I still have Marilee. She's moved out into the Florida room so now we have a proper little livingroom to hang out in.

No-one would believe that we trailer trash enjoy having company who fill up our little trailers with all their crap but it's true. There's such a sense of comeraderie when we're all falling over each other, laughing, and telling wild stories. One thing I didn't like and that's the fact that they've filled my fridge with food that I'll have to get rid of before I leave to go home. These people like to snack.

It's kind of cold this morning because we had a cold front come through. Marilee's been bitching all morning about how I don't turn on the furnace or have my stove hooked up. She's obviously forgotten how to camp out! She mellowed a bit when we went out for a nice breakfast, though.

Faye and Gary have disappeared and I'm sure they're up at their own trailer trying to shovel it out after Val and her family left. I ventured up there yesterday and it looked like the clothing department at Target had erupted in the Florida room. Faye was gallantly ignoring the chaos and busy preparing a lovely little snack in her miniature kitchen. She'd prepare food in the midst of a world war.

I've been thinking about why I haven't been upset about the utter chaos in my own trailer and have come to the conclusion that all the laughter offsets the confusion caused by too many people in too small a space. I'm already looking forward to Marilee's visit next year!

Marilee, the Wayward Child

My sister-in-law, Marilee, is staying with me for 10 days. She's over at the clubhouse doing morning excercises right now so I'm taking this opportunity to write a blog about her. Her sister, Faye, and I decided it should be titled "wayward child" because that is what she is.

Marilee is so much fun to be around and she keeps you wondering what she'll do next. She talks to everyone she meets and is known to us the "f" word without thinking. Faye and Gary told her she can't use that word around their grandchildren who are also visiting this week but we secretly think they use it themselves when the adults aren't around.

When we're out and about Marilee veers off in her own little world to see whatever catches her eye or attention. Often we don't notice it happen and then we're scared to death we've lost her. No fear...she has a good sense of direction and always finds her way back.

She loves to tease me about my half empty fridge and disconnected stove but I think she likes to eat out as much as I do. She's been a joy to have around and I'm going to miss her terribly when she leaves. But we'll see the irreverant little devil in August at the family reunion in New Brunswick. Think of all the laughs we have to look forward to!

Sand Hill Cranes

These are pictures of the Sand Hill Cranes and their 2 babies. The bottom picture includes Carole's new acquisition...her trailer. These cranes are part of the every day life at our park and we call them "the boys". They wander the winding roads most of the day and have little or no fear of humans. You just can't approach them close enough to touch. With the babies, I'm sure the parents would attack you if you got too close.


One of my favorite funny memories is one day when my husband was in our front yard desperately trying to pull start a gas lawn mower. He'd yank and yank with no luck. One of the "boys" wandered up the road with long, elegant strides and stopped to watch this demonstration. Soon another crane came along and stopped to watch also. Dennis continued to yank on the lawn mower cord until there were 5 large cranes standing together watching him. They'd bend their heads from side to side in wonder and amazement at the antics this silly human was performing.

Dennis was in no mood to think this was cute but I did.

Wanna Go Home/Wanna Stay In Florida

All winter long I've had the strangest feeling that I should be back home. It wouldn't have bothered me one bit to hop in the car and head back to Canada. At the same time, I've enjoyed every day down here. It's like the lyrics of an old song "part of me says stay, part of me says go".

By mid March you can see the park has taken up a new atmosphere. People begin asking when you're going home or telling you when they're leaving. Goodbye parties start up. I usually hate this time of the season but this year I'm almost anxious to see the park revert back to the peaceful times of October. By April 1st most of the winter residents will be gone and the quiet that sets in used to make me sad. But this year is different. I think it's been normally hectic all winter but I seem to have aged a year and maybe I need a bit more peace and quiet in my life.

I was supposed to be home by April 15th but that happens to land on a Sunday. Since I like to travel on a Sunday I planned to leave on the 8th but decided that was just a bit too soon. I contacted my insurance lady and made arrangements to add 2 days to my plan so now I'm leaving here on Sunday, April 15th which gives me 2 weeks of mainly peaceful Florida time before I head home.

And then, once I'm home, I'll miss all of these wonderful people so darned much and be counting the days till I see many of them again at our summer reunion in July.

Picasa

If I live to be 1000 I might learn all there is to know about what's available on the internet...maybe. My sister-in-law, Marilee, just informed me about Picasa which is where you can store pictures and then put them on the web. I'm not sure if I need this but I can't seem to upload pictures from "my pictures" and place them in a blog. Maybe using Picasa I'll be able to do this. Right now I have no time. This is how my day went and is going...

Up at 3:30 A.M. to drive with Sheila who was taking Tom to the airport.
Had breakfast at 5A.M. at IHOP...kind of expensive.
Back to the trailer at 7 A.M. and found Marilee, Faye, and Gary still sleeping.
7:01 A.M. I am sleeping.
9:15 A.M. I wake up and find no-one busy making coffee for my coffee morning and no-one is around.
The phone rings and it's one coffe drinker wondering where her coffee is.
I make coffee, people arrive and we drink till almost 11 A.M.
11 A.M. Gail arrives with a golf ball sized lump on her hand and Sheila rushes her to a nurse in the park. We haven't heard back from that yet.
11:30 is lunch at the clubhouse and I am not hungry.

This afternoon is pool time and then we're going to the liquor store at 4 P.M. This will be followed by a soup supper at 5 or 6 and then we have games night at 7 P.M.

I'm glad I had a nap.