Forty-nine years and 1 day ago I gave birth to my first daughter. I was only 17 myself so this little girl had a rough road ahead of her with both of us growing up at the same time.
Kim has always been a pleasure. She was a good little girl, smart, funny, and a talented artist (she got that last part from her father). Any problems we had was because I was an immature mother learning as I went.
She got married at 22 and gave me my first grandchild 4 years later. I don't think anything on this earth had ever made me happier than to have that precious little bundle handed to me. I had matured.
Kim isn't happy that she's reached the ripe old age of 49 and that 50 is laughing in her face but I hope she learns, as I did, that age really and truly is a state of mind. If you're on the far side of 50 and still having fun then you've got it made. You've got all the wisdom of your years and, if you actually were able to go back to your youth, you would probably choose not to.
Youth is just too hard to deal with. Believe me, you need all that strength and stupidity to get through it.
Anyway, chin up Kim. You look great, you're smart, funny, and you've got all of us!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
New Baby in the Family
We have a large, loving, and very involved family so it's no wonder that we're all excited about a new baby joining our clan. This little boy or girl (no-one knows or no-one's telling) will make it's arrival some time in October.
My niece sent me pictures of the latest ultrasound and baby is already 12" long so he/she is going to be a tall one. The parents are both tall and gorgeous so we're expecting a pretty fantastic baby.
One of the most wonderful things about a new baby is the softness of their skin. I love to let the little one nestle into my neck because the feel of that brand new baby skin is intoxicating.
Bringing a new baby into the family can solidify that family. We have showers to welcome him/her and all the family congregates in a show of love and support. It's a nice feeling to look around you and see so many people you are connected to by blood or marriage, all there for the purpose of bonding to the new member.
It's usually the women in the family who establish and carry out these early rituals, most of the men being content to wait until the child is old enough to carry on a conversation. But men of today are becoming less intimidated by a newborn and more willing to become involved from the beginning.
I remember when my children and my grandchildren were newborns and how I could sit for hours and just stare at their little faces. The sheer miracle of their presence absolutely fascinated me.
I'm looking forward to nuzzling and staring sometime in October.
My niece sent me pictures of the latest ultrasound and baby is already 12" long so he/she is going to be a tall one. The parents are both tall and gorgeous so we're expecting a pretty fantastic baby.
One of the most wonderful things about a new baby is the softness of their skin. I love to let the little one nestle into my neck because the feel of that brand new baby skin is intoxicating.
Bringing a new baby into the family can solidify that family. We have showers to welcome him/her and all the family congregates in a show of love and support. It's a nice feeling to look around you and see so many people you are connected to by blood or marriage, all there for the purpose of bonding to the new member.
It's usually the women in the family who establish and carry out these early rituals, most of the men being content to wait until the child is old enough to carry on a conversation. But men of today are becoming less intimidated by a newborn and more willing to become involved from the beginning.
I remember when my children and my grandchildren were newborns and how I could sit for hours and just stare at their little faces. The sheer miracle of their presence absolutely fascinated me.
I'm looking forward to nuzzling and staring sometime in October.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Mothers Who Murder Their Children
A young mother in Texas has hung her four children, killing three of them, and then committed suicide. When I read of something like this happening my heart goes out to the mother as well as the innocent children.
Unlike people who kill out of anger, greed, or just for the thrill, I can comprehend why this poor woman did what she did. I can fully imagine the depths of inability to cope anymore and the false conviction that her children would be better off dying with her.
Life can be so difficult and some of it is spent in despair and heartbreak. Luckily most of us are able to survive those moments and things really do get better given time. This woman fell too deeply into that dark pit and it swallowed her up.
In the years I lived with depression there was never a time I considered killing anyone but myself. But I remember being unable to think clearly during the bad times and that's what drove this woman to commit these horrible crimes.
We'll all grieve for the children but let's allow a portion of grief for their poor lost mother, too.
Unlike people who kill out of anger, greed, or just for the thrill, I can comprehend why this poor woman did what she did. I can fully imagine the depths of inability to cope anymore and the false conviction that her children would be better off dying with her.
Life can be so difficult and some of it is spent in despair and heartbreak. Luckily most of us are able to survive those moments and things really do get better given time. This woman fell too deeply into that dark pit and it swallowed her up.
In the years I lived with depression there was never a time I considered killing anyone but myself. But I remember being unable to think clearly during the bad times and that's what drove this woman to commit these horrible crimes.
We'll all grieve for the children but let's allow a portion of grief for their poor lost mother, too.
To Kyle...On Native Land Claims
A man named Kyle has been responding to my blogs on native land claims and giving me some interesting history lessons. This blog is directed at him because I don't know any other way of reaching him.
Hello Kyle:
I've been very impressed with your responses. They are heart felt but you haven't shown anger towards me for my views and I'm thankful for that.
Blogging is a way for all of us to put forth our thoughts on many subjects that interest us and one of the biggest threats these days to the peaceful day to day living in Canada is the disruptions by the natives. My goal was to express how these disruptions affect the non-natives of this country.
Please understand, Kyle, that my sympathies have always been with the natives for what they lost 200 years ago. My ancestors didn't arrive in Canada until the early 1900's so they didn't steal anyone's land. In fact, they came to Canada because they lost their own in Ireland and immigrated here to try to rebuild their lives.
Many generations of immigrants came to Canada for just this reason, worked hard, bought land legally, and are responsible for creating the country we have today. Natives, on the other hand, chose to remain on reservations where they stagnated. That is one of the reasons I've hated the reservations because I believe they stifled the growth of the natives.
My understanding of the years native children were torn away from their families and put in residential schools is that religious groups, who had tremendous influence on the government in those days, were the perpetrators. It was one of the most shameful things our government has ever been responsible for and we should never forget it happened. Non-native children in regular orphanages in those years suffered the same hell and we should never forget that, either.
What I'm trying to explain, Kyle, is that this is today, not 200 years ago, and natives can not hold today's citizens hostage to the wrongs done hundreds of years ago. We resent it deeply.
I'm very grateful that you took the time to respond and that you did so with dignity. I hope I've been able to make you understand how the other side feels in this ongoing drama, too.
Hello Kyle:
I've been very impressed with your responses. They are heart felt but you haven't shown anger towards me for my views and I'm thankful for that.
Blogging is a way for all of us to put forth our thoughts on many subjects that interest us and one of the biggest threats these days to the peaceful day to day living in Canada is the disruptions by the natives. My goal was to express how these disruptions affect the non-natives of this country.
Please understand, Kyle, that my sympathies have always been with the natives for what they lost 200 years ago. My ancestors didn't arrive in Canada until the early 1900's so they didn't steal anyone's land. In fact, they came to Canada because they lost their own in Ireland and immigrated here to try to rebuild their lives.
Many generations of immigrants came to Canada for just this reason, worked hard, bought land legally, and are responsible for creating the country we have today. Natives, on the other hand, chose to remain on reservations where they stagnated. That is one of the reasons I've hated the reservations because I believe they stifled the growth of the natives.
My understanding of the years native children were torn away from their families and put in residential schools is that religious groups, who had tremendous influence on the government in those days, were the perpetrators. It was one of the most shameful things our government has ever been responsible for and we should never forget it happened. Non-native children in regular orphanages in those years suffered the same hell and we should never forget that, either.
What I'm trying to explain, Kyle, is that this is today, not 200 years ago, and natives can not hold today's citizens hostage to the wrongs done hundreds of years ago. We resent it deeply.
I'm very grateful that you took the time to respond and that you did so with dignity. I hope I've been able to make you understand how the other side feels in this ongoing drama, too.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Google Ads
I've been investigating a bit more of what blogger.com has to offer us bloggers and have noticed that some people have ads on their blogs. I checked into it and managed to figure out how to put ads on mine (they pay) and today I earned 24 cents because 1 person clicked on the ad. Isn't this amazing?
It's also possible that they count the number of people who just read my blog but don't click on the ad and that somehow results in payment, too. It's still quite a mystery to me but at least I'm 24 cents richer today.
The biggest problem with these ads is that I don't get to choose which ones I want. Google just puts them on randomly and at whim depending on what my blog topics have been. Apparently they decided my blogs about the native sit-ins in Caledonia and Hagersville warrant a few ads selling native paraphernalia. They've also put some diaper ads in because I had one blog titled "Just a Diaper Ride Away" about the astronaught who wore a diaper when she went after her boyfriend's lover, and another blog about die-hards wearing diapers at the casino so they don't have to leave their seats. Someone isn't reading the content of my blogs before they assign me an ad.
Anyway, I'm going to play around with my blog titles and see if I can manipulate the ads I get. Like "Condom Minium" or "Death of a Petunia". What fun!
It's also possible that they count the number of people who just read my blog but don't click on the ad and that somehow results in payment, too. It's still quite a mystery to me but at least I'm 24 cents richer today.
The biggest problem with these ads is that I don't get to choose which ones I want. Google just puts them on randomly and at whim depending on what my blog topics have been. Apparently they decided my blogs about the native sit-ins in Caledonia and Hagersville warrant a few ads selling native paraphernalia. They've also put some diaper ads in because I had one blog titled "Just a Diaper Ride Away" about the astronaught who wore a diaper when she went after her boyfriend's lover, and another blog about die-hards wearing diapers at the casino so they don't have to leave their seats. Someone isn't reading the content of my blogs before they assign me an ad.
Anyway, I'm going to play around with my blog titles and see if I can manipulate the ads I get. Like "Condom Minium" or "Death of a Petunia". What fun!
Defining Moments
We have many defining moments in our lives...you know, the ones where the light suddenly comes on and we can see our situation clearly.
Some of the most important ones are the moment when you fall in love, or the moment you know the love has gone. And what about the moment when you realize you've made a life changing mistake? Or even the moment you realize that no matter what you do you're going to fall.
Sometimes the defining moment is just a matter of your mind slipping through all the garbage, hopes, dreams, and mental blindness until you can't escape the truth. Clarity can be startling.
One of the nicest defining moments you can experience is that elusive thought that starts as a tiny seed in your mind until it reaches full bloom and you know that at this moment in time you are happy.
Some of the most important ones are the moment when you fall in love, or the moment you know the love has gone. And what about the moment when you realize you've made a life changing mistake? Or even the moment you realize that no matter what you do you're going to fall.
Sometimes the defining moment is just a matter of your mind slipping through all the garbage, hopes, dreams, and mental blindness until you can't escape the truth. Clarity can be startling.
One of the nicest defining moments you can experience is that elusive thought that starts as a tiny seed in your mind until it reaches full bloom and you know that at this moment in time you are happy.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Who's to Blame
I talked to a lady today who is broken hearted because her brother is a drug addict, drug dealer, depressed, and suicidal. She blames his mother, his friends, and his pain (caused by being shot in a drug deal).
At what point should this man take responsibility for his own situation?
Too often we wallow in a mess of our own making and, instead of taking steps to break away, accept that it's too late and there's nothing we can do about it. Been there, done that. Most of us have at one time or another.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a supportive family or good friends who lift us up instead of dragging us down. In that case, the onus is on us ourselves to find the strength to crawl out of the hole and succeed against heavy odds.
I have seen people who started out in life with every cross imaginable to bear but they've chosen to become productive adults who now live the good life. They could have settled for what their parents had but they didn't. Where does the strength of character come from in people like these? And why do others fall weakly by the wayside?
I've often wondered how black people manage to succeed when just the color of their skin closes so many doors to them and I've come to the conclusion that the secret is a strong pride in yourself that makes the difference.
If you have enough justifiable pride (not false or arrogant pride), you won't settle for being held down and you won't choose a lifestyle that is harmful to you.
The man I spoke about made many bad choices from childhood on and that's why he is where he is today. We are a product of the choices we make, whether they are for our good or not. And in the end we have to personally accept the credit or the blame for the finished product.
At what point should this man take responsibility for his own situation?
Too often we wallow in a mess of our own making and, instead of taking steps to break away, accept that it's too late and there's nothing we can do about it. Been there, done that. Most of us have at one time or another.
Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a supportive family or good friends who lift us up instead of dragging us down. In that case, the onus is on us ourselves to find the strength to crawl out of the hole and succeed against heavy odds.
I have seen people who started out in life with every cross imaginable to bear but they've chosen to become productive adults who now live the good life. They could have settled for what their parents had but they didn't. Where does the strength of character come from in people like these? And why do others fall weakly by the wayside?
I've often wondered how black people manage to succeed when just the color of their skin closes so many doors to them and I've come to the conclusion that the secret is a strong pride in yourself that makes the difference.
If you have enough justifiable pride (not false or arrogant pride), you won't settle for being held down and you won't choose a lifestyle that is harmful to you.
The man I spoke about made many bad choices from childhood on and that's why he is where he is today. We are a product of the choices we make, whether they are for our good or not. And in the end we have to personally accept the credit or the blame for the finished product.
Dogs in the House
I can't believe how much I've enjoyed having my daughter's Jack Russells in the house. I'd forgotten how tuned into you your dog becomes, watching your every move and following you from room to room. I've chattered away to them since they got here and don't know who I'll chatter to when they leave today for their own home.
It's been raining and these dogs don't know enough to steer clear of my garden so I worried they'd track dirt and mud into the house but they stop dutifully when they come in and let me wipe their feet. So cute!
Last night I thought of closing them into the bathroom because I wasn't sure they'd hold their piddle but, because they stay so close to me, decided to have them just sleep on the floor in my bedroom. Baker chose to sleep under the bed and Bailey slept beside the bed with her head under it. So darned cute!
Baker has also settled in and isn't quite as nervous as she was at first. Her little ears have become unclamped from her head, thank heavens. I hate to see a frightened dog or animal of any kind.
Pets are a gift to human beings and good pet owners know how lucky they are to have found their special companion. It's not possible to clearly explain how precious these little creatures are and how much they contribute to our lives. A home without a pet is less of a home.
When little Bailey and Baker leave me today they'll take some of the warmth out of my house. I'll be looking forward to seeing them again real soon!
It's been raining and these dogs don't know enough to steer clear of my garden so I worried they'd track dirt and mud into the house but they stop dutifully when they come in and let me wipe their feet. So cute!
Last night I thought of closing them into the bathroom because I wasn't sure they'd hold their piddle but, because they stay so close to me, decided to have them just sleep on the floor in my bedroom. Baker chose to sleep under the bed and Bailey slept beside the bed with her head under it. So darned cute!
Baker has also settled in and isn't quite as nervous as she was at first. Her little ears have become unclamped from her head, thank heavens. I hate to see a frightened dog or animal of any kind.
Pets are a gift to human beings and good pet owners know how lucky they are to have found their special companion. It's not possible to clearly explain how precious these little creatures are and how much they contribute to our lives. A home without a pet is less of a home.
When little Bailey and Baker leave me today they'll take some of the warmth out of my house. I'll be looking forward to seeing them again real soon!
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Still Under the Weather
Well, that good feeling this morning didn't last and now I really feel as though I have the flu. It has apparently hit 2 of the men working in the basement, too, so we must have all caught the same bug. This too shall pass!
I'm babysitting my daughter's 2 little ones tonight. They're cute little Jack Russell terriers but old enough to have lost most of the friskiness that comes with the breed. The nice thing about dogsitting is that they'll nap right along with you if you're not feeling well.
The dogs have vastly different personalities. Bailey is the oldest and most dominant. Nothing much scares her and she's curious as all get out about the men working in the basement.
Baker is very timid. She's given up barking every time she hears the men go in and out of the back door but she still seems to cringe a lot. Even when I reach for her, which breaks my heart. She follows bravely behind Bailey when she goes to investigate anything but never leads the investigation.
My dog, Corky, was timid, too, and didn't like you to stare directly into his eyes. I guess that's an intimidation gesture. That doesn't bother Bailey and Baker, though...they'll come right up to you if they see you looking at them.
It's nice having dogs in the house again. They're a good excuse if you find you're talking to yourself. Just add on to the end of the sentence, "Isn't that right, Bailey?".
I'm babysitting my daughter's 2 little ones tonight. They're cute little Jack Russell terriers but old enough to have lost most of the friskiness that comes with the breed. The nice thing about dogsitting is that they'll nap right along with you if you're not feeling well.
The dogs have vastly different personalities. Bailey is the oldest and most dominant. Nothing much scares her and she's curious as all get out about the men working in the basement.
Baker is very timid. She's given up barking every time she hears the men go in and out of the back door but she still seems to cringe a lot. Even when I reach for her, which breaks my heart. She follows bravely behind Bailey when she goes to investigate anything but never leads the investigation.
My dog, Corky, was timid, too, and didn't like you to stare directly into his eyes. I guess that's an intimidation gesture. That doesn't bother Bailey and Baker, though...they'll come right up to you if they see you looking at them.
It's nice having dogs in the house again. They're a good excuse if you find you're talking to yourself. Just add on to the end of the sentence, "Isn't that right, Bailey?".
So I Slept
Every once in a while I don't feel quite right...you know what I mean? My equilibrium feels slightly off but I can't pinpoint exactly what's wrong.
For the last 2 days I've been desperately needing sleep through the day and that rarely happens so I knew something was going on "inside". Thursday evening I went to bed at 6:30 P.M. and slept till 5:30 A.M. (with 2 interruptions for the bathroom). Then on Friday I slept from noon till 4:30 P.M., played on the computer till 8 P.M. and went back to bed.
Today, Saturday, I feel like my old self. Isn't it wonderful how the body will heal itself if we just rest and let it do it's job?
By the way, I just used spell check and discovered I'm slightly farther from perfect than I'd thought! Thanks to sister-in-law, Joyce, I've just developed a new complex!
For the last 2 days I've been desperately needing sleep through the day and that rarely happens so I knew something was going on "inside". Thursday evening I went to bed at 6:30 P.M. and slept till 5:30 A.M. (with 2 interruptions for the bathroom). Then on Friday I slept from noon till 4:30 P.M., played on the computer till 8 P.M. and went back to bed.
Today, Saturday, I feel like my old self. Isn't it wonderful how the body will heal itself if we just rest and let it do it's job?
By the way, I just used spell check and discovered I'm slightly farther from perfect than I'd thought! Thanks to sister-in-law, Joyce, I've just developed a new complex!
Friday, May 25, 2007
More on Native Land Claims
I know I'm not the most knowledgable person when it comes to trying to figure out native land claims but I speak from the heart when I say there has to be an end to the dispruptions before someone else is killed.
All of us have ancestors who were cheated out of their land or property. That's what happened to the poor of every race, nationality, or creed. There's no doubt it was wrong but hundreds of years have passed and it's time to realize that this is a different world and it's impossible to right the wrongs for everyone.
I do know that the natives are perpetuating unfair hardships on all Canadians with their demands. They've taken away a sense of peace and security that we shouldn't have to deal with in the year 2007 for something our ancestors did 200 years ago. To be honest, the natives of that time freely sold land for the money they received. Dollars meant more to them than the "good earth". There is probably not a square foot of the disputed land that today's natives have earned with their own labor.
We're all paying in some way for the mistakes of our ancestors...but we've also gained in many ways from their hard work. Is it too much to ask that we stop all this infighting which is driving our separate cultures apart instead of bringing them together? I can't even imagine how difficult it is for the natives in Caledonia when they leave the reservation and go into town. No-one should have to live that way.
I've always hated the thought of reservations because they secluded a group of people who could have been assimilated into the general population without losing their culture. I truly believe that the reservations are the worst possible places for natives to stay. Segregation breeds hostility. By living among more than one culture we can learn from each other.
Simply put...let's live together in peace and let the past go.
All of us have ancestors who were cheated out of their land or property. That's what happened to the poor of every race, nationality, or creed. There's no doubt it was wrong but hundreds of years have passed and it's time to realize that this is a different world and it's impossible to right the wrongs for everyone.
I do know that the natives are perpetuating unfair hardships on all Canadians with their demands. They've taken away a sense of peace and security that we shouldn't have to deal with in the year 2007 for something our ancestors did 200 years ago. To be honest, the natives of that time freely sold land for the money they received. Dollars meant more to them than the "good earth". There is probably not a square foot of the disputed land that today's natives have earned with their own labor.
We're all paying in some way for the mistakes of our ancestors...but we've also gained in many ways from their hard work. Is it too much to ask that we stop all this infighting which is driving our separate cultures apart instead of bringing them together? I can't even imagine how difficult it is for the natives in Caledonia when they leave the reservation and go into town. No-one should have to live that way.
I've always hated the thought of reservations because they secluded a group of people who could have been assimilated into the general population without losing their culture. I truly believe that the reservations are the worst possible places for natives to stay. Segregation breeds hostility. By living among more than one culture we can learn from each other.
Simply put...let's live together in peace and let the past go.
Hagersville Native Land Claim
It seems the natives haven't got much else to do but wander around the country looking to disturb the progress of the working people.
A developer bought land in Hagersville, Ontario to build townhouses but natives quickly occupied the land as one they say they have a claim to. Work was shut down and a developer who thought he'd legally bought the property is now sitting in a limbo created by the Canadian government.
I wonder how many Canadians feel as I do that we have no laws protecting us anymore. Who knows, maybe the home you've lived in for 50 years is sitting on land that the natives will one day decide is theirs. You'll pay property taxes every year you live in your house but, if a native decides it's theirs, not a single level of Canadian government will protect your rights.
I don't want to hear about the government speeding up settlement of native land claims anymore. What I want to hear is that our government, the one our taxes pay for, is going to stop allowing natives to break the laws of the land.
When anyone else feels they have a property claim, they hire a lawyer and sue. There is a trial and the lawsuit is either won or lost. Who ever heard of a trial lasting 200 years? If anything, the natives of 200 years ago had only squatter's rights to the land so why are we in this day and age spending so much time, money, and energy on the native land claims?
It's been evident that we don't know exactly what is involved in the native claims and why natives have been allowed to constantly break the laws without punishment but when will it end? If a decision is made that they won't accept (or their descendents 200 years down the road won't accept) then the sit-ins and disruptions will go on forever unless they are made to abide by the law just as the rest of us are.
It's time the Canadian government took a stand so that the rest of it's citizens can regain assurety that OUR rights will be protected.
A developer bought land in Hagersville, Ontario to build townhouses but natives quickly occupied the land as one they say they have a claim to. Work was shut down and a developer who thought he'd legally bought the property is now sitting in a limbo created by the Canadian government.
I wonder how many Canadians feel as I do that we have no laws protecting us anymore. Who knows, maybe the home you've lived in for 50 years is sitting on land that the natives will one day decide is theirs. You'll pay property taxes every year you live in your house but, if a native decides it's theirs, not a single level of Canadian government will protect your rights.
I don't want to hear about the government speeding up settlement of native land claims anymore. What I want to hear is that our government, the one our taxes pay for, is going to stop allowing natives to break the laws of the land.
When anyone else feels they have a property claim, they hire a lawyer and sue. There is a trial and the lawsuit is either won or lost. Who ever heard of a trial lasting 200 years? If anything, the natives of 200 years ago had only squatter's rights to the land so why are we in this day and age spending so much time, money, and energy on the native land claims?
It's been evident that we don't know exactly what is involved in the native claims and why natives have been allowed to constantly break the laws without punishment but when will it end? If a decision is made that they won't accept (or their descendents 200 years down the road won't accept) then the sit-ins and disruptions will go on forever unless they are made to abide by the law just as the rest of us are.
It's time the Canadian government took a stand so that the rest of it's citizens can regain assurety that OUR rights will be protected.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Stomach
My sister-in-law, Joyce mentioned yesterday that she has always wondered why I spelled "stomach" wrong. I argued with her that I'd never spelled "stomache" wrong and she didn't know what she was talking about.
Then we got out the dictionary and I had to admit I wasn't perfect.
Maybe I should use the spellcheck doodledad on this page before I publish it but then I'd be really perfect and hard to live with.
Then we got out the dictionary and I had to admit I wasn't perfect.
Maybe I should use the spellcheck doodledad on this page before I publish it but then I'd be really perfect and hard to live with.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Losing a Child/Losing Yourself
One of the worst losses any of us could face is the loss of a child. It doesn't matter if the child is 4 or 40, the loss can be devastating. My sister-in-law, Joyce and her husband, Larry, experienced this tragic loss when Joyce's daughter, Susan, passed away from breast cancer at the age of 38.
Susan was one of those special people who lit up a room when she walked in. She and her husband, Larry (we called him "young Larry" and Joyce's husband was always "big Larry") were Joyce and Larry's best friends. The whole family was heart broken when Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer but we trusted the doctors who performed the surgery and declared they'd "gotten it all".
Well, it turned out they hadn't gotten it all and Susan passed away leaving a 4 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. Her passing also took the heart and soul out of her mother. Joyce carried on by giving everything she had to the care of Susan's children but it seemed the joy had disappeared from her personality.
We used to have brother/sister dinner parties a few times a year in those days. My husband's brothers and sisters who lived nearby would take turns having these dinner parties which were always so much fun because most of us had a long history of friendship as well as being related.
The dinner that seemed to change our lives happened at my house. Joyce had come over early to help me prepare and we were both working away in my small kitchen. It's U-shaped with no room for a table but it's just off the diningroom. I had a big pot of speghetti sauce and a big pot of speghetti noodles simmering on the stove while Joyce busied herself making salad.
My plan was to drain the noodles and put them in the microwave to reheat just before serving dinner. I drained them and was heading for the microwave which was next to Joyce when I suddenly slipped on water which had dripped on the ceramic tile floor. Down I went and it seemed like slow motion as Joyce and I watched the noodles fall on the floor and slide gracefully toward her.
We were frozen in shock, me knowing there were no more noodles in the cupboard, and both of us hearing the front door opening at that moment and my guests arriving.
We started to laugh as we gathered up the noodles and rinsed them in the sink, hoping the arriving relatives wouldn't come into the kitchen. As we giggled and laughed ourselves silly, I started to see the old Joyce coming back. She'd been through hell and survived it. I knew the breakthrough had come about by our ability to laugh in comeraderie over this minor disaster. Whatever passed between us that day helped bring her back and I'll always be grateful for that moment.
The dinner went perfectly but the family were kept wondering why Joyce and I giggled every time we made eye contact. Some members of the family have been made aware what happened that day but we still haven't told the squeamish ones.
Hope they don't read my blog!
Susan was one of those special people who lit up a room when she walked in. She and her husband, Larry (we called him "young Larry" and Joyce's husband was always "big Larry") were Joyce and Larry's best friends. The whole family was heart broken when Susan was diagnosed with breast cancer but we trusted the doctors who performed the surgery and declared they'd "gotten it all".
Well, it turned out they hadn't gotten it all and Susan passed away leaving a 4 year old son and an 8 year old daughter. Her passing also took the heart and soul out of her mother. Joyce carried on by giving everything she had to the care of Susan's children but it seemed the joy had disappeared from her personality.
We used to have brother/sister dinner parties a few times a year in those days. My husband's brothers and sisters who lived nearby would take turns having these dinner parties which were always so much fun because most of us had a long history of friendship as well as being related.
The dinner that seemed to change our lives happened at my house. Joyce had come over early to help me prepare and we were both working away in my small kitchen. It's U-shaped with no room for a table but it's just off the diningroom. I had a big pot of speghetti sauce and a big pot of speghetti noodles simmering on the stove while Joyce busied herself making salad.
My plan was to drain the noodles and put them in the microwave to reheat just before serving dinner. I drained them and was heading for the microwave which was next to Joyce when I suddenly slipped on water which had dripped on the ceramic tile floor. Down I went and it seemed like slow motion as Joyce and I watched the noodles fall on the floor and slide gracefully toward her.
We were frozen in shock, me knowing there were no more noodles in the cupboard, and both of us hearing the front door opening at that moment and my guests arriving.
We started to laugh as we gathered up the noodles and rinsed them in the sink, hoping the arriving relatives wouldn't come into the kitchen. As we giggled and laughed ourselves silly, I started to see the old Joyce coming back. She'd been through hell and survived it. I knew the breakthrough had come about by our ability to laugh in comeraderie over this minor disaster. Whatever passed between us that day helped bring her back and I'll always be grateful for that moment.
The dinner went perfectly but the family were kept wondering why Joyce and I giggled every time we made eye contact. Some members of the family have been made aware what happened that day but we still haven't told the squeamish ones.
Hope they don't read my blog!
Monday, May 21, 2007
We've All Got Problems
I had my nice long well-deserved sleep last night and woke up in a better frame of mind.
We all have problems now and then and the way we deal with them says a lot about our strength of character. I know I'll get through this bad patch because I have to. I am woman, I am strong. And if I ever run into the crappy renovator again he'd better take off in the opposite direction or face the wrath of Pat.
No, that's not true. I'm a wimp and I'll be cool but polite. No apologies...because I am what I am and that's all I am.
We all have problems now and then and the way we deal with them says a lot about our strength of character. I know I'll get through this bad patch because I have to. I am woman, I am strong. And if I ever run into the crappy renovator again he'd better take off in the opposite direction or face the wrath of Pat.
No, that's not true. I'm a wimp and I'll be cool but polite. No apologies...because I am what I am and that's all I am.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Got Problems
This basement just might be the death of me. Just as things were starting to look up we discovered that the guy who originally started the reno and then ran out had not bought enough laminate flooring...about 150 square feet short and it couldn't be matched!
I calmed myself, found out I could return the unused portion to Home Depot for a credit and then re-order enough to complete the rec room and stairs. It wouldn't match what has been laid in the sewing room but that wasn't the end of the world.
Today I wore myself out trying to clear the rec room so that the men would have room to work when I discovered a big problem...at least I think it is. The man who tore down my walls without asking me has replaced part of the rec room walls with particle (?) board instead of drywall. I'm not sure why anyone would do such a thing. I'm overtired and fed up and this latest discovery has hit me hard.
I've been proud of my ability to overcome many years of depression but, when I'm overwhelmed and overtired, I lose confidence in myself to stay strong. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. There is a breaking point no matter how hard you try not to reach it.
The men who have taken over the job have been marvelous but I don't know if they'll have the time to replace those damn walls. It's the busy season for renovators and I'm sure they have other jobs lined up and ready to go. I really think my calm has seen it's last day.
As I was out cutting the grass this afternoon I wondered if maybe trying to look after this house was beyond me and maybe it was time to sell and move into an apartment. I'll go to bed early tonight, have a good sleep, and see how I feel in the morning.
Never, ever try to make important decisions when you're tired, frightened, or grieving. Today I'm tired.
I calmed myself, found out I could return the unused portion to Home Depot for a credit and then re-order enough to complete the rec room and stairs. It wouldn't match what has been laid in the sewing room but that wasn't the end of the world.
Today I wore myself out trying to clear the rec room so that the men would have room to work when I discovered a big problem...at least I think it is. The man who tore down my walls without asking me has replaced part of the rec room walls with particle (?) board instead of drywall. I'm not sure why anyone would do such a thing. I'm overtired and fed up and this latest discovery has hit me hard.
I've been proud of my ability to overcome many years of depression but, when I'm overwhelmed and overtired, I lose confidence in myself to stay strong. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. There is a breaking point no matter how hard you try not to reach it.
The men who have taken over the job have been marvelous but I don't know if they'll have the time to replace those damn walls. It's the busy season for renovators and I'm sure they have other jobs lined up and ready to go. I really think my calm has seen it's last day.
As I was out cutting the grass this afternoon I wondered if maybe trying to look after this house was beyond me and maybe it was time to sell and move into an apartment. I'll go to bed early tonight, have a good sleep, and see how I feel in the morning.
Never, ever try to make important decisions when you're tired, frightened, or grieving. Today I'm tired.
Why War?
Every day on the news we hear of young soldiers being killed, most often in some foreign country. There are so many bombings being reported in countries around the world where one religion is trying to decimate another that I've long wondered what ever happened to the "love" in religion.
Why are we such a warring species? It's one thing to protect your personal property (even then...to kill for it?) but to plant a bomb that rips human beings apart, human beings whose only crime is to follow a religion different from the bomber's, is animalistic.
If you take a close look at the battles going on around the world you'll see that "religion" is at the root of most if not all of them. Religious fanatics are pretty scary people. They aren't able to live comfortably among people of other beliefs so they protect their little plot of earth by murdering anyone who might threaten it. All religions have done this at one time or another.
I don't follow any organized religion because I can't imagine dedicating my life to an entity that allows murder, violence, and cruelty. I do have high hopes that there is some higher power somewhere that will explain to me when I die why so many human beings are savages.
We all have such tiny life spans when you consider eternity so what in our psyches makes us want to spend that precious time in cruel and murderous activity? We seem to carry an ingrained belief that "we" are right and anyone who doesn't agree with us is a danger to us. Talk about a flaw in our personality!!
I doubt there has ever been a time in history when people weren't at war and I don't see any evidence that that will change in the future. If it wasn't for the truly good people I've met in my life I'd just give up hope in the human race but I've come across some saints. Maybe they're the ones who have seen the light and maybe they're the "meek who will inherit the earth". By the looks of things it will take a long time.
Why are we such a warring species? It's one thing to protect your personal property (even then...to kill for it?) but to plant a bomb that rips human beings apart, human beings whose only crime is to follow a religion different from the bomber's, is animalistic.
If you take a close look at the battles going on around the world you'll see that "religion" is at the root of most if not all of them. Religious fanatics are pretty scary people. They aren't able to live comfortably among people of other beliefs so they protect their little plot of earth by murdering anyone who might threaten it. All religions have done this at one time or another.
I don't follow any organized religion because I can't imagine dedicating my life to an entity that allows murder, violence, and cruelty. I do have high hopes that there is some higher power somewhere that will explain to me when I die why so many human beings are savages.
We all have such tiny life spans when you consider eternity so what in our psyches makes us want to spend that precious time in cruel and murderous activity? We seem to carry an ingrained belief that "we" are right and anyone who doesn't agree with us is a danger to us. Talk about a flaw in our personality!!
I doubt there has ever been a time in history when people weren't at war and I don't see any evidence that that will change in the future. If it wasn't for the truly good people I've met in my life I'd just give up hope in the human race but I've come across some saints. Maybe they're the ones who have seen the light and maybe they're the "meek who will inherit the earth". By the looks of things it will take a long time.
Friday, May 18, 2007
My Mess and How I Deal With It
My sister-in-law, Faye, dropped over for a visit yesterday morning and sat shaking her head in awe about the mess I'm living with. It's the basement renovation in case you haven't already read earlier blogs!
From where we sat on the sofa sipping our coffees, you can see piles of basement stuff on the floors, on the tables, and even on some of the furniture in the livingroom and diningroom. It's all overflow from the basement which gives the workers a modicum of space to work in down there.
The rec room is piled to the ceiling with stuff, too, and we're all hoping it will fit into the sewing room once they've finished in there. That will give them space to complete the rec room makeover.
I mentioned to Faye how proud I was of myself that I can keep a clear, cool head amidst all this mess and confusion.
Faye replied, "I just think you have no idea what a mess you're really in!".
Bless her! But she's offered to come and help me clean and straighten once the basement job is complete so I'll forgive her for shoving that hard dose of reality at me.
What keeps me going is the vision I have in my head of a beautifully finished basement with all my "stuff" in it's proper place and lots of empty space to prove that I really am making an attempt to limit new projects that grab my interest.
Faye might snicker but that is my vision, may it see the light of day!
From where we sat on the sofa sipping our coffees, you can see piles of basement stuff on the floors, on the tables, and even on some of the furniture in the livingroom and diningroom. It's all overflow from the basement which gives the workers a modicum of space to work in down there.
The rec room is piled to the ceiling with stuff, too, and we're all hoping it will fit into the sewing room once they've finished in there. That will give them space to complete the rec room makeover.
I mentioned to Faye how proud I was of myself that I can keep a clear, cool head amidst all this mess and confusion.
Faye replied, "I just think you have no idea what a mess you're really in!".
Bless her! But she's offered to come and help me clean and straighten once the basement job is complete so I'll forgive her for shoving that hard dose of reality at me.
What keeps me going is the vision I have in my head of a beautifully finished basement with all my "stuff" in it's proper place and lots of empty space to prove that I really am making an attempt to limit new projects that grab my interest.
Faye might snicker but that is my vision, may it see the light of day!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Getting Old and Snarky
A few times lately I've had to catch myself from feeling cranky when around teenagers. Especially when the teenagers are obnoxiously loud, wearing nose rings, and sporting orange hair. My first instinct is to think of them as idiots.
Then my inner logic takes hold and I remember a bit what it was like to be a teenager. Those were different and more innocent days but the only difference between teenagers of the 1950's and the teenagers of 2007 is that we were not exposed to the glut of sex and violence we see everywhere now.
Teenagers are only unfinished adults. It's frightening to be 16 and, on the surface, believe you know it all but, underneath, realize you still have little control over your own life. It probably doesn't help that all the adults in your life tell you to forget about having fun and concentrate on getting your education.
But no-body told me that when I was 16 because no-one cared enough about me. Boy, did I have fun...and ended up married and pregnant at 17.
I wish there was a softer way of encouraging teenagers to concentrate more on their education because it will determine the adult life they will live long after their teen years are over.
A young person told me recently that they use marijuana recreationally. How can I explain to them that using marijuana on a regular basis is just as dangerous as getting drunk on a regular basis. The young don't want to be told what they can or can't do so we can only hope that our reasoning doesn't fall on deaf ears.
I remember how often my heart was broken when I was a teenager. Sometimes it was by a boyfriend but more often it was because of less important events...loss of a girlfriend, insult by a stranger, sad book, sad movie. These are minor things in our lives but, as a teenage, I felt the losses strongly enough to make me want to die. Teenagers' emotions are on high volume until they become mature enough to learn how to deal with them.
Now, when I see those orange haired, pierced nosed kids, I can feel my heart soften for the turmoil they're going through. My grandmother used to say that she'd like to be young again but know what she knows now. I couldn't understand that in the 1950's but I do today.
P.S. "Snarky" is a Canadian expression for feeling cranky or crabby. I discovered a few years ago that Americans aren't familiar with that word.
Then my inner logic takes hold and I remember a bit what it was like to be a teenager. Those were different and more innocent days but the only difference between teenagers of the 1950's and the teenagers of 2007 is that we were not exposed to the glut of sex and violence we see everywhere now.
Teenagers are only unfinished adults. It's frightening to be 16 and, on the surface, believe you know it all but, underneath, realize you still have little control over your own life. It probably doesn't help that all the adults in your life tell you to forget about having fun and concentrate on getting your education.
But no-body told me that when I was 16 because no-one cared enough about me. Boy, did I have fun...and ended up married and pregnant at 17.
I wish there was a softer way of encouraging teenagers to concentrate more on their education because it will determine the adult life they will live long after their teen years are over.
A young person told me recently that they use marijuana recreationally. How can I explain to them that using marijuana on a regular basis is just as dangerous as getting drunk on a regular basis. The young don't want to be told what they can or can't do so we can only hope that our reasoning doesn't fall on deaf ears.
I remember how often my heart was broken when I was a teenager. Sometimes it was by a boyfriend but more often it was because of less important events...loss of a girlfriend, insult by a stranger, sad book, sad movie. These are minor things in our lives but, as a teenage, I felt the losses strongly enough to make me want to die. Teenagers' emotions are on high volume until they become mature enough to learn how to deal with them.
Now, when I see those orange haired, pierced nosed kids, I can feel my heart soften for the turmoil they're going through. My grandmother used to say that she'd like to be young again but know what she knows now. I couldn't understand that in the 1950's but I do today.
P.S. "Snarky" is a Canadian expression for feeling cranky or crabby. I discovered a few years ago that Americans aren't familiar with that word.
Another Corky Story
Writing that blog about Corky brought back so many wonderful memories of him. We thought, as most dog owners do, that he was the smartest dog that ever lived. I once wrote 2 full pages of words he understood.
One of the sweetest memories is of the day, not long after he came to live with us, that my daughter thought she should teach him some tricks. They settled in the middle of the livingroom floor and she explained to him what he should do. Corky sat obediently and watched with wise brown eyes as Kim explained "roll over"...she'd lie on her side and roll across the floor. Kim explained "sit up"...she'd stoop down and hold her hands up to look like paws. Kim explained how to "play dead"...she'd flop down on her side and close her eyes.
Corky looked for all the world like a student waiting his turn to try out these amazing new tricks but when Kim tried to get him to do them he'd just sit and look at her. After many frustrating attempts to show this stupid dog how to accomplish the tricks that all dogs seem to know how to do, Kim went into the kitchen to get some cheese, hoping that would help encourage him.
As she walked back into the livingroom, Corky smelled the cheese and, before she even got back to him, immediately began doing all the tricks she'd shown him.
Now, who was the dumb animal?
Corky was so smart that you could show him any brand of shampoo and the only one he'd respond to was "baby shampoo". He'd run and hide because he knew that's what we used to bathe him.
He could talk. When he wanted to go outside he'd go and sit by the door. If we didn't notice him he'd bounce around a bit and say "out". I swear!
When my grandchildren walked around with cookie in hand, he'd stalk them until he saw his chance. He'd ever so gently take a piece of the cookie in his teeth and carefully slip it out of the baby's hand without the baby noticing.
He loved to help us carry in groceries. He could carry in a pound of butter without piercing the foil wrapping! That was the Lab in him.
There are so many great memories of the years we were lucky enough to have this dog. I even have an original ink drawing of him framed and displayed in my house. If I had one of those family portrait walls that you see in some houses his picture would be right there with them. After all, he was a member of our family for 15 years.
One of the sweetest memories is of the day, not long after he came to live with us, that my daughter thought she should teach him some tricks. They settled in the middle of the livingroom floor and she explained to him what he should do. Corky sat obediently and watched with wise brown eyes as Kim explained "roll over"...she'd lie on her side and roll across the floor. Kim explained "sit up"...she'd stoop down and hold her hands up to look like paws. Kim explained how to "play dead"...she'd flop down on her side and close her eyes.
Corky looked for all the world like a student waiting his turn to try out these amazing new tricks but when Kim tried to get him to do them he'd just sit and look at her. After many frustrating attempts to show this stupid dog how to accomplish the tricks that all dogs seem to know how to do, Kim went into the kitchen to get some cheese, hoping that would help encourage him.
As she walked back into the livingroom, Corky smelled the cheese and, before she even got back to him, immediately began doing all the tricks she'd shown him.
Now, who was the dumb animal?
Corky was so smart that you could show him any brand of shampoo and the only one he'd respond to was "baby shampoo". He'd run and hide because he knew that's what we used to bathe him.
He could talk. When he wanted to go outside he'd go and sit by the door. If we didn't notice him he'd bounce around a bit and say "out". I swear!
When my grandchildren walked around with cookie in hand, he'd stalk them until he saw his chance. He'd ever so gently take a piece of the cookie in his teeth and carefully slip it out of the baby's hand without the baby noticing.
He loved to help us carry in groceries. He could carry in a pound of butter without piercing the foil wrapping! That was the Lab in him.
There are so many great memories of the years we were lucky enough to have this dog. I even have an original ink drawing of him framed and displayed in my house. If I had one of those family portrait walls that you see in some houses his picture would be right there with them. After all, he was a member of our family for 15 years.
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