Car Flaw

I discovered a tiny dent in the rear door behind the driver's door and am kind of surprised that the discovery didn't upset me much.  The way I look at it is that it's certainly not the last one that will mar my pretty little car over the next many years and I'm realistically accepting that the car is just an object, one that will be a sitting duck in any parking lot I leave it in.  I'll bet that's where most dents and scratches are put on your car.


It kind of unnerved me when I thought the car was perfect.  It was like a blank canvas just waiting for the first little imperfection that some careless person would put on it.  At least now it's been broken in and if a teensy dent is all it suffers while it lives at my house, then I'm very lucky.  


Because of my less than perfect knees, I have a handicapped tag which allows me to park in the larger, safer handicapped parking spots.  Unfortunately, it expires in July and I'll have to ask my doctor to approve me for an extension.  My knees, now not too bad, will really never be normal again so I'm hoping that he will give me a permanent extension.  Not only will that give added life to my knees but also to my car.  I've found that being able to legally park in the handicapped spots is very convenient.


Years ago, when my knees were normal, I was looking for a parking spot in the mall and Tyson, about 6 years old and sitting in the back seat, asked why I didn't park in the handicapped spot.  I told him I wasn't handicapped.  He replied, "Yes you are.  You're old".  I guess a lady in her 50's is old to anyone under 40.


These days, I couldn't care less if people see me as old or handicapped.  I am what I am.  I'm here and I'm dear.

Reaquaintance With Nolan

From the beginning of my return home, it did seem as though Nolan remembered me but I took a chance and asked if he could stay overnight on Saturday.  Of course, his parents agreed but I wasn't sure he'd feel comfortable enough to be left with me.  No worry, he'd remembered all of the toys that I had here for him and the familiarity came right back.


Kim and I took Nash out in the afternoon to buy him a belated birthday gift from me (his birthday is Feb. 24th) but I'd waited because I'd wanted to be with him to get it.  We took Nash out for lunch and then home for his nap...he was an angel the whole time and smiled lovingly at me but wouldn't let me touch him.  He really doesn't like anyone but his parents and Nolan but he tolerated his Gramma, Kim, that day because she was all he had.


Nolan was waiting for us when we dropped Nash off.  He had his little suitcase all packed and couldn't get in the car fast enough...I think he thought he was going to Kim's, though.  We drove to my house and Kim used the big box that came with the new child car seat for my car to make a playhouse for Nolan.  Kids love to climb into big boxes and Nolan was no exception.  He played with that thing all day so I might have to keep it somewhere, maybe in the basement when I get my work area cleaned up.


The more I was with Nolan, the more I learned of his little idiosyncrasies.  It's so cute to hear him say, "here am are" instead of "here I am".  He chatters constantly and is still a little difficult for me to understand but we did manage to have some conversation.  He was so darned good the whole time and the only time I thought he might be a little homesick was when he'd occasionally say, "Daddy loves me".  Children are so precious and tender and it made me wonder why he felt the need to comfort himself that way.  I guess it was just a reminder to him that his Daddy hadn't abandoned him and would come for him soon.  So sweet.


He wouldn't have an afternoon nap, playing at full speed until we went to bed at 8 P.M.  I put him in bed with me and settled in to watch some T.V.  Almost immediately, his little eyes glazed over and he was sound asleep until 8 A.M.  He wasn't anxious to get up then, either, but did so with the promise of breakfast.  He's such a little guy, already with his own personality.  I watch with amazement as I see this tiny little boy developing in front of me. He's a combination of his father (in looks) and his mother (in outgoing personality) but still his own self.  


All morning, he appeared completely at ease being with me but, when his parents arrived at 11:30 to pick him up, he ran to them and happily clung to his mother as though he never wanted to let her go.  I know he was fine here with me but nothing can replace that bond between a child and their parents.  My house will be a place to visit and be loved by his GG but home is where his heart will be. 

Home

As I sit here at my computer, like I do every morning, I'm smiling because my heart is at peace.  I'm home.


There is a certain serenity that we only feel when we're in our "home".  Our home reflects the past and present of our life and the familiarity of our home affects us in a positive way...unless the home is chaotic.  I live alone so the only chaos is that which I produce myself, usually the mess on the computer desk.


I think it's the familiarity of my surroundings that calms me when I'm home.  Of course, these days I look around to see what I can do without because I'm still in discarding and downsizing mode.  Even spotting things that I'll get rid of is a nice feeling because I can envision how much neater a spot will be once the excess is gone.


"Home" is a collection of our stuff that we accumulated for reasons known only to ourselves.  Our stuff has meaning to us.  It could be pictures, books, ornaments, or pretty much anything that we once thought we couldn't do without.  Then there comes a time when some of it loses it's lustre and we know we can let it go.  


A cold, perfect and uncluttered house isn't really a home because there is nothing to connect to.  When I walk into a home teaming with family photos or piles of toys I see the life there.  


My home isn't perfect and never will be because I tend to let my interests consume me.  Things set aside "just for the moment" often take up residence in their temporary spots.  But it all spells out "Pat's place" and people know when they come in that this is who I am, maybe a little disorganized but still okay.


Home, it's where we can relax and be ourselves.    

My Pretty New Car

The first car is Kim's new one, a 2011 Hyundai Elantra and the next picture is me with my new baby, a 2012 Nissan Altima.  The 3rd picture is the best one of the Altima.  The color is prettier than I remembered, a medium grey with a touch of blue so I'm one happy lady.


The Honda was getting worse by the day so I guess I waited too long to buy another car but maybe good things do come to people who wait.  I love my new car!

New Car

Well, I'm the proud owner of an almost gorgeous 2012 Nissan Altima...the only thing keeping it from being totally gorgeous is the color.  I wanted red but ended up with a darkish grey blue called ocean blue.  It looks like a very stormy ocean, though.  There are only 6,000 km on it so it's almost like a new car.


I ended up paying $21,000 for it after it was pointed out that I only had one air bag in the Honda which made it unsellable by the dealership.  They're not going to resell it anyway but I didn't want to have to deal with putting another air bag in and then starting the buying/selling process all over again.  I'm happy as pig in poo with my purchase and that's all that matters.


Gary went with me and test drove it.  He was very impressed with how smooth it was and how much power it has.  Believe it or not, there is no key to open or start it.  There is a little device that unlocks the doors but you just press a button on the dash to start it.  It will only start if the device is inside the car.  How convenient!!  There is also a button on the device which honks the car horn if you can't find the car.  I can't keep calling this thing a "devise" so it will be referred to as a key from now on.  LOL!


Pictures to follow!


I pick it up tomorrow at 4 P.M. and will take pictures to post as soon as weather permits.  I love it!

Back Again

I mnt to say "Google Chrome" but can't find anywhere to edit the blog.  And now it's not looking the same...crap!

I'm Back...Maybe!

This is the new Blogspot format and it's been wicked trying to figure out how to post on it.  I suppose this is what they call "progress".  Somehow, the people who are in charge of changing things just don't get it that all of us aren't as computer literate as they are.  Me, I'm a struggler at the best of times.


Anyway, my first problem began in Florida while using a dial-up AOL service which wasn't powerful enough to let me upload a new browser (new requisite of Blogspot).  Then I got home to my more powerful service and was able, with difficulty, to upload Google Gold and now here I am hoping this blog will post without further problems.


Now for the update on my car, my trip home, and my new car.


On Monday, I set off from the park with 2 loaded suitcases (just in case the car broke down mid trip and I had to fly the rest of the way).  It made for a neater car and trunk, I must say.  I was really worried about how my car would handle the hills that dot the way from Florida to Ontario and cringed every time I saw one in front of me.  Strangely enough, the car didn't have any problems with the hills because I was very careful not to press the gas pedal too far down.  The weather was excellent, the motel was clean, and I arrived home about 6 P.M. on Tuesday.


Wednesday I began remaking all the doctors' and dentist appointments I'd had to cancel when I'd been unsure of when I could get home.  Then I went out for lunch and did some car shopping.  My intent was to find a 2012 Nissan Altima was was either a rental or demo so that I could save on the price.  My limit was $20,000 including all taxes, etc. and I was able to find a few that were possibilities.  Wednesday evening I received a call from one of the dealerships saying they had one for me to see and that would meet my financial limitations.


Today, my dear brother-in-law, Gary, is going to come with me to test drive it and I may just be buying a new car today.  I'll be posting pictures once I get it.


Well, now is the time to end the blog and see if I can post the darn thing with this new blog format.  Wish me luck!

Bob

Bob came to our park last year and, because of his strangeness, had a hard time fitting in but this year a few people stepped up and made a place for him.

Personally, I just kept my distance rather than get involved with this quiet and unassuming man because he is rather strange. It was a good thing for him that a few kinder and more accommodating people took an interest in helping him adjust and I admire them for that.

He tried to volunteer for various jobs in the clubhouse but was tactfully shuffled along to clean-up duty where he began to shine. He seemed very happy to be of some service to the park residents and I have to admit it made him appear in a better light to us. He made a few more friends by attending church services, too.

Bob's appearance wasn't very good so a few of the ladies encouraged him by providing him with some new clothes and giving him a haircut. It warmed my heart to hear this story of their kindness but it also made me a little ashamed of myself because it doesn't seem to be in me to have offered this kind of help to him myself.

You know that moment in the Jack Nicholson movie, "As Good As It Gets", where he tells Helen Hunt that she makes him want to be a better man? Well, when I hear of kindnesses like those given to Bob, it makes me want to be a better person, too. I guess I'll be a work in progress until the day I die.

One of the perks of staying in this senior park and getting to know so many people is that I also get to come across a lot of angels, too. They don't think of themselves like that but they really are angels in the way they care for others. When we hear that there are angels among us, it's true. Some of them are friends of mine.

Last Coffee Morning for 2011/2012 Season

These photos do not show a true picture of these people at all...I think the glum expressions are because they had a camera aimed at them. They are all interesting, fun, and terrific people who make my stay at this Florida park each winter such a pleasant one.

This was our last Friday coffee morning for the season and we allowed some husbands to join us. Funny, but most of them were pretty subdued, probably because we ladies are loudly yakky. We added shots of Baileys (actually Michels which tastes the same as Baileys) to our coffee, too.

Charlotte and Mark did their "Patience, Jackass!" routine for us and, to our great pleasure, caught a couple of newbies in the joke. Everyone else had been caught at least once over the years because Mark and Charlotte do the routine every so often.

I really do love these people. Everyone should be lucky enough to have great neighbors like this but to have so many is an amazing blessing. We all come from different backgrounds, different states or provinces, but we've all come together in this Florida senior park to spend our winters.

When coffee time was done, 6 of us ladies climbed into Bonnie's van and went off to "Crispers" for lunch. We spent about an hour eating delicious food and, yes, yakking. With women, there's no end to the topics we can bring up and cover...sometimes two or three times if we feel like it.

Tonight is Bingo and most of us will meet over there, too. Faye and Sylvia left for home yesterday so it will feel a little empty at our table, though. Oh well, all good things come to an end and this season is close to ending for all of us here but next season is already on our minds and in our plans. With luck, we'll all just renew and deepen friendships in the 2012/2013 season.

Lifechanging Moments

We all try to sail smoothly through life, hoping for only the best lifechanging moments...like love, fun, and good times. We don't and shouldn't plan for tragedy but it can come in an instant when we least expect it.

Yesterday I was stopped at a highway stoplight about 3 cars back and happened to look into my rear view mirror. I noticed that a tractor trailer was approaching at full speed in the lane next to me and didn't appear to be slowing down. To my horror, I realized that it really wasn't slowing at all and there was a car stopped at the light in front of it.

Unless the driver of that single car was also looking into their rear view mirror, they would have no idea that their life was close to ending at that moment. Suddenly, the truck driver seemed to come to life, rapidly swung his rig onto the shoulder of the road and away from the car in front of him. The truck swerved dangerously, kicking up dirt and gravel before straightening and barrelling on through the red light.

The gods were with all of us at that moment because no-one was in the cross road, either, so no-one was hurt. I sat there in shock as the truck driver gunned it and disappeared on the highway ahead. A lot of us had been very close to a tragedy in the making that day and it really makes you realize how it can all happen so quickly.

How many of us have sat in a doctor's office waiting to hear whether the results of tests are good or bad? How many of us have been roused out of a peaceful moment by a phone call which changed our lives forever? We're all just a moment away from having to change course and follow a new path that's been set for us.

I do savor life and live it as though each moment is my last. We can't take anything for granted so we do need to relish and be thankful for all that we have. My family is what I love and cherish more than anything else on earth so I have my priorities straight. Nothing else on earth is as important as giving and receiving love from those who matter to you. When and if tragedy strikes your family, it will be the strength of that family bond that will see you through it.

I've noticed throughout my life that most of the life changing moments are for the good, though. And it's exciting to follow that new path because that's what makes life worth living. Sometimes the new path is created by adding a child or in-law to the package and then your world expands. Sometimes a new friend fills a void in your life that you weren't even aware existed.

Life was never meant to be a constant but let's all hope we escape the tragedies and have many, many good changes in our lives.

Locked In

I went into the "Ladies Room" at the restaurant today and dutifully locked myself into the cubicle, wondering again why we women need to lock ourselves in when only other women will be in that room. What are we protecting ourselves against? Do we think no-one will know we're in there having a pee? Do we think that the other women in the room aren't there for the same reason?

We flush the toilet (so that fools no-one as to why we were in there in the first place)...and then we walk out, smile at the strange ladies waiting to lock themselves in as we leave, wash our hands (although no skin has touched anything other than clean toilet paper), and walk out the door. We hear the cubicle doors click and lock as we leave. The strange ladies are now safely locked into their cubicles.

I don't know, I just have always thought there's something a little weird about this behaviour. Maybe it's just me.

Nice

This is the lovely bouquet that my friend, Carol, brought to me yesterday. If I didn't know before, I know now how much pleasure it gives you to just look at a bouquet of fresh flowers. Carnations are my favorite, too.

I'm still feeling kind of punk today and think I'll do some more resting up. I'm a little disappointed that I don't feel the 100% I expected but that's okay. One more day!

On a side note, I read that Dick Cheney is 71 which is my age and I'm a little aghast. I'd always thought of him as a very old man and that's not how I envision myself. You see how distorted our perception of ourselves can be?

Almost Better

I feel surprisingly well, if a little weak from lack of food, considering how sick I was on Thursday, especially. The human body is an amazing thing, isn't it? It's made to combat germs that harm it and the healthier we are the easier it is to fight them off. I happen to have a compromised immune system because of some misshaped white cells and yet I seem to stay fairly healthy.

I was terribly sick on Thursday with this stomach flu, worse than I've ever had it, but could feel strength and health returning yesterday. Today, I feel almost normal with just a bit of low energy that I'm trying to build up by eating small but healthy items in small amounts. I had a banana for breakfast (my usual fare) and then a bowl of oatmeal for lunch today. For supper, I'll have soup or yogurt that my dear friend, Carol, is out buying for me right now.

Being in this senior park means that you are better taken care of than if you were back home. Faye is just across the road and calls in several times a day to see how I am or if she can do anything for me. My other friends call or drop in regularly, too, so I couldn't be better looked after. If I was home, I'd probably be alone until Kim or Cindy finished work and could check on me. I'm sure my neighbors would drop by, too, but not with the regularity my buddies do here. This is one of the reasons I don't worry too much about getting sick this far from home.

Anyway, I'm on the mend and will probably be 100% by tomorrow. I still don't want anyone to get too close but I may go for a drive by myself just to get out of the house.

Tonight will be spent watching crap on T.V. and then early to bed.

Stomach Flu

I went to bed on Wednesday night feeling completely normal but within an hour I had to rush out into the bathroom to throw up. I am not a throw up person but one who will suffer needlessly in order not to throw up. That night I had no option because it was going to happen no matter what I did. Not only that but I also had diarrhea at the same time. This had never happened to me before and it was pretty awful. Was it the flu or food poisoning? Sometimes it's hard to tell but I do think this was the flu.

Faye and Gary had just moved in with me while Adam, Yvonne, Avry, and Sydney had taken over their trailer. Poor Faye was having a middle of the night pee when I burst through the door and threw up in the sink. Faye and Gary moved out quickly so that my germs wouldn't get to them, though. I equated it with rats deserting a sinking ship but Faye is a sweetheart who has checked in on me regularly, done my laundry, and brought me soup and crackers.

The vomiting finally stopped yesterday afternoon but the diarrhea won't let up. I've prohibited anyone from entering my trailer so that I don't infect them. My friends have dropped by and poked their heads through the door every so often to make sure I'm still alive, though, and I feel comforted by their concern.

I feel so much better than I did yesterday. Yesterday I was so darned weak but a lot of my strength has returned today. I've done nothing but sleep and rest which is the best thing to do for your body when it's fighting off germs. Anyway, the worst has passed but I'm going to keep to myself for a couple more days until I'm assured that I won't infect anyone else. I've been very worried about all the hugging and kissing I did the day before I got sick, especially with the babies, Avry and Sydney. I can only hope they didn't catch anything from me.

I don't know who I caught it from but we're always in large groups here in the park so it could be anyone. I also went to the casino on Tuesday so who knows what kind of germs I might have picked up from those machines...you use a mouse with them.

This flu was very violent and that worries me...it wasn't just the icky feeling I've had the few other times I've had it. I felt so awful yesterday that I even considered going to a doctor and I most certainly would have done so if I'd felt as bad today. The older I get, the more fearful I am of illness because we old people just don't fight off germs as easily as young people.

Well, I'm tired again and need to lie down but at least I had the strength to play on the computer for a while. I couldn't have done that yesterday.

A Sick Child

Yesterday a male friend stopped by and said that the reason he's a little late getting down here this year (he usually arrives earlier in March) is because his daughter had a health problem. "She's fine now but she gave us a scare", he said, but his eyes still held a haunted look. We don't stop worrying about our kids just because they become fully grown adults, do we?

My own children have done their best to make me wish, at times, that I'd never had kids. Every little problem they have, whether it be health or otherwise, scars me inside and it will always be that way. I can build a mountain out of a mole hill as quick as you can blink an eye so I often worry myself needlessly.

That said, it can't be any other way. With great love comes tremendous fears of loss. When my niece was dying, her mother told me that she'd gladly give her own life for her daughter and I understood completely. Every mother who loves her child can understand that sentiment. It's not said to grandstand but to express the deepest feelings that are possible for us.

I don't think I have the words to describe the love I feel for my children. When one is ill, I can't stand it until they're well again. It's emotionally draining to try to carry on as if there is nothing to worry about when we all know a serious, if remote, possibility exists. And when the crisis passes, we still worry that something else will come along to worry about.

And that's why I sometimes wish I'd never had kids.

Vigilante

An innocent 17 year old boy lost his life to a vigilante here in Florida last week because he "looked like he was up to no good". The killer was a member of his neighborhood watch and those are the words he used when calling 911. He was advised to back off and wait until police arrived but he took the law into his own hands and accosted the teen, wrestled him down and then shot and killed him as the boy screamed for help. The killer has not been arrested because he claims he felt as though his life was threatened by the teen who was not carrying a weapon and who was visiting relatives just down the street.

If this man is not made accountable for this murder, all hell is going to break out in this country with gun toting vigilantes shooting down anyone they deem to be "looking like they're up to no good".

Allowing this man to get away with the murder of an innocent citizen makes no sense. Putting him back on the streets is like putting a time bomb among an unsuspecting population because this guy could easily go off again. After all, his excuse held up this time.

Groups of hysterical black activists are claiming the killing was racially motivated because the teen was black and that could be the case but the real fear is that it might be a legal alibi here to murder someone/anyone you think "might" be dangerous.

There have been other stories of innocent people shot to death by paranoid gun toters and I'm sure they escaped imprisonment for their crimes but there has to be an end to this now. There are too many people legally carrying guns here in the States and all it takes is a mistaken fear of threat for them to take the law into their own hands.

I hope that the racial aspect of this recent crime doesn't override the more important fact that the killer had no right to lay hands on the boy in the first place. That was the first crime and what followed was criminal over-reaction that resulted in the death of the 17 year old boy.

I can't even say it will be interesting to see what the outcome of all this will be because I'm sure I'll be saddened and disgusted by watching the killer walk free.

Our Red Hatters

I still like to consider myself a Red Hat lady even though I've only managed to attend 2 meetings/luncheons all winter. Vicki, our leader, had to change the monthly meetings to Fridays and that's when I have my coffee mornings which often carry on into the early afternoon. We have so many activities at our park that there's no way to choose a day for your activity without interfering with another activity so I don't blame Vicki one bit. Actually, last year I had to change my coffee mornings from Mondays to Fridays so I understand completely her difficulty in pleasing everyone's availability.

Due to unforeseen circumstances, the Red Hatters had to have their meeting/luncheon this month scheduled for today, a Monday. Now, normally that wouldn't have suited me either because I usually go to the casino on Monday but this week we're going on Tuesday instead. To shorten this very long commentary, I was then able to don my Red Hat Ladies t-shirt and join 20 terrific ladies for their luncheon at Laings. The food was delicious and the company was excellent. I've really missed this outing even though I see most of these ladies every day anyway. It's the ritual that counts!

And now I'll talk about something that's been disturbing and puzzling me. Why don't restaurants feature beans and weiners on their menus? I haven't had that dish for years, probably since my children were small, but I do think about it every once in a while. I'd planned to take home a few cans of Bush's beans this year but my car problems put an end to that plan. Faye is going to give me a couple of her's when we get home so I'll buy a good package of weiners and put them together for an old time feast. I'll bet my 2 tiny boys would love to share it with me, too.

Life is always good when you surround yourself with good family and friends.

Life

We all have responsibilities in life and sometimes they demand a response that is difficult for us. Gail just got news that her brother is in serious condition back home so she's terminated her vacation time early to go home to be with him. Time with our loved ones is precious and, in times of sudden illness, we often don't get those last few hours on earth with them so haste is necessary.

It's really amazing to think how we take time for granted. We make choices to do other things rather than spend time with the ones we love because we think they'll always be there. We engage in petty spats that mar the relationships, too. In our transient society where travel far and beyond is possible, families become separated quite easily. It's not like our ancient ancestors who spent their entire lives enmeshed in the lives of their families who all lived together or close by.

The distance we've put between ourselves and our loved ones hasn't broken the familial bond, though. Families still come together, no matter the distance needed to travel, during times of trouble or happiness...marriage,birth, illness or death. Family is of utmost importance to most of us and during such times we seem to feel a strong need to be together. This is probably a primal response to knowing that there is strength in numbers.

My generation is the oldest now and we realize that our days are numbered. We carry the knowledge that we are the ones who will probably fall first and we also worry that we'll become a burden to our families. We only hope that when our time comes our families will see that we are kept comfortable and that they'll be there to see us out...not because of social mores but because it's what they feel in their hearts is the thing they want to do.

Illness and death are all a part of life. We humans were never meant to live solitary lives because we need the reassurance of being surrounded by loved ones in order to endure what life hands us. Gail is rushing home to offer her presence and love to her brother because it is what is in her heart. She knows it won't change the course of events but she also knows she will be where she is meant to be. She might not realize it now but this will give her comfort in the long run.

Life is a mystery but I've discovered over my many years that you do best when you follow your instincts. You may not understand the where or why but you'll know you've made the right decisions.

Horrible...Horrible

I've always loved the ugly trees that surround my trailer even though they drop leathered leaves all the time and mess up the patio. One of my friends here once said he didn't like the trees because "things" could fall out of them. I chose to ignore the comment and not ask for details but the words have hung with me for many years.

Well, a nightmare happened on Wednesday night. It was still light out as another male friend was making his way through the trailer lots over to the clubhouse to play Bingo. He passed under quite a few trees along the way and something heavy fell onto his shoulder, slid down his leg and coiled up on the ground. You got it...it was a bloomin' snake!

Now, he thought it was funny but I know that if it had happened to me I would have had a massive heart attack and dropped dead on the spot. We all know that snakes abound here in the warm south but people like me try to pretend they're always far away from us. All I want is for them to stay away from me and out of sight. I don't want to see even a dead one because I know it was once alive and could have come near me if it chose to do so.

The men all tried to play macho and act as though it didn't bother them but most of us women were admittedly terrified. I don't know why we're so afraid of snakes but they scare the beejeezus out of me.

I have 2 prayers right now...one is that my car doesn't break down before it gets Shelley and me home and the other one is that I finish my winter vacation in Florida without hearing about or seeing a snake. Please and Thank You!

I Lost Again

It's hard to believe that I've tried for about 11 years to be the Turd Queen and failed once again. I had 2 chances to dunk the turd and the closest I got was to splat one turd onto the front of the toilet, not in it.

I'm getting closer to winning, though, because this year a lady named Pat is the Turd Queen, unfortunately not this Pat.