Steve Harvey's "Cookies"

Comedian, Steve Harvey, is a funny man but he's also a well spoken man to explain how men think.  I stumbled upon today's show and heard him speak about how women give up their "cookies" way too fast and the reason they shouldn't (from a man's perspective).  Interesting!



He claims that women are missing an opportunity to take time to get to know the man they will honor with their "cookies".  So many women complain about how many of the men in their lives have turned out to be dogs but they carry some of the blame for not getting to know those men before giving them their "cookies".



My generation knew this intuitively.  With women these days becoming stronger and grabbing the freedom they deserve, some have taken it the wrong way and undervalued themselves and what they really are.  A woman is not a toy, something to be used casually and then walked away from.  A woman who truly values herself should not hand herself over to someone who doesn't deserve her.  And it takes a bit of time to find out if he is worthy of her.



Steve Harvey recommends the 90 day wait but that seems a little long.  You could be with a man for 90 years and still not know him well so my way of thinking is to be with him long enough to witness how much he respects you, how much kindness he shows to others, and how honest he is.  That might be all you ever learn about the man you choose but he could still surprise you.



One little old lady on Steve's show said she is currently on the 20 year wait but that's okay, too.  Better than offering your "cookies" to a sleaze bag!

10 Pound Loss

I am so happy!  I weighed myself this morning (3 days early) and discovered I've lost a full 10 pounds in the 9 1/2 weeks I've been using Sensa.  Because the weight is coming off slowly and I'm developing better eating habits, I have hope that this weight will stay off...with much more to follow.  The Sensa is a tool to use but I also have to eat more sensibly, too, and I have to say it hasn't been difficult.

I'll be seeing my doctor for bloodwork when I get home in April and I'm hoping the weight loss will help in keeping diabetes at bay so that I don't need to take medication for it.  Regardless, I'll continue with the Sensa diet because it has been good for me.

Something I've discovered this time around is that it's helped not to have given up both fries and potato chips at the same time.  I haven't had a potato chip in the past 10 weeks and haven't missed them or craved them.  I have had fries occasionally but usually find I can't eat them all.  I have fruit, crackers or yogurt inbetween each meal, too, and that is what we're supposed to do...not starve ourselves.  It doesn't matter how long it takes to reach a comfortable weight as long as my weight doesn't skyrocket on me.  I've heard of others on Sensa that this happened to but I'll bet they also went back to their old and bad eating habits, too.

Oh yes, Shelley convinced me to have the chemical peel offered by her dermatologist neighbor.  I'll stay at Shelley's house for 3-4 days while doing it just for my own peace of mind.  I'm still scared to death but am putting my faith in the dermatologist who seems to know what he's doing.  My own at home seems a little scatterbrained so no matter what I do, it might not be the right decision.  I'll report the whole process in this blog.

Enough for now...

Toronto Mayor...Why?

I can't for the life of me understand why the great city of Toronto can't fire an inept, drunken, humiliating mayor.  If he was in the employ of any other business he would have been thrown out on his ass after the first drunken episode but there are unfair laws on the books that prohibit firing this imbecile unless he is arrested for his antics.  How unfair is this to the citizens of Toronto who are held hostage by this drunken sot who supposedly leads their city?



The rules and laws protecting elected officials who dishonor their post must be changed.

I'm Back

Blogspot has been coming up weird on my computer for the last while so I gave up blogging until it straightened out.  It has.



I've been happily busy in the last couple of weeks with a bus trip to Biloxi where I lost most of my money and, I think, caught this doozy of a cold I'm experiencing right now.  I usually only get one cold a year but this one is the second in 4 months.  I've stayed home since Tuesday and will cancel Friday morning coffee so I don't pass the germs on to anyone else.  It might be too late for poor Sylvia because she has a sore throat now.  I'm coughing myself silly but there does seem to be hope on the horizon because I'm feeling a little stronger right now than I have all week.



I hate being under the weather.  It interferes with all my fun activities and the socializing I take part in here in Florida.  I don't dare go out among these old folk or I might pass off germs that could kill them!



A couple of weeks ago, Jo taught us how to knit those frill scarves (easy!) so I've dropped the Swedish weaving for a while in order to make them.  I have one made so far for an Alvarez and will make 6 in total for my 3 granddaughters and my 3 daughters.  Jo said she can make one in an hour...well, let me tell you that it takes me about 2 days to make one.  They are easy, though.  I'm thinking that I enjoy making them enough to bring some yarn home to make them for my granddaughters-in-law, too.



We had fun in Biloxi...gambling, eating, and having a side trip to New Orleans.  All of this cost me $185 and I got back about $25 in free play at the casinos and $49 in food vouchers.  I would have gotten a bit more but I didn't have photo I.D. with me.  I thought my health card was in with my out-of-country health insurance papers but it wasn't.  Stupid me.



The weather is cool here these days but hasn't reached freezing at night yet.  I pity the frozen north!  So many of my friends have put their trailers up for sale and I really wonder how they'll be able to stand the frigid winters up north after spending many winters in Florida.  Age is usually the deciding factor when snowbirds sell out and stay up north.  They often can't take the long drive anymore.  I still love it but my day will come.



Anyway, life is good here and I'm still having fun...or will again once my cold is gone.

Sexual Harrassment

When I was a young woman, I was sexually and publicly harrassed by complete strangers, on an almost daily basis.  I remember the unwanted catcalls, the unwanted gestures, the unwanted comments made as I simply walked down a public street.  I remember the fear it struck in my heart as I worried the harrassers might actually touch me physically.  I remember wondering why these men (or boys) believed they had the right to talk to me like this.  I remember the feeling of helplessness and anger.

As an elderly woman, I sometimes breathe a sigh of relief that this doesn't happen to me any more but then I realize that those same things are still happening to young women today and I feel sympathy, disgust, worry, and sadness that not much has changed in this world.

Most parents are able to teach their sons that females deserve their respect but it apparently still fails with way too many of them.  When you think of it, when a grown man howls out sexual insults to a young woman he doesn't even know, it's a form of bullying.  I've never known a woman who takes catcalls as a compliment...it's too uncomfortable for that.  And don't ever think the aggressor doesn't know it.

I've advised my granddaughters to ignore it unless it becomes too aggressive and then to call the police.  It is much too dangerous for them to confront the harrasser, especially if a woman is alone.  Confrontation probably would do no good, anyway, but just give the harrasser more time to play his games.

But we can change male attitudes like this, maybe not in a generation or two but it can be done.  More males are now educated to understand that females were not put on this earth for their amusement but as human beings who deserve their respect.  As these numbers grow and as these respectful males set examples for their friends, it really can change how society views women.

Females have been fighting for equality and respect since neanderthal man supposedly clubbed an unsubmissive female over the head and dragged her to his cave.  It's scary to see how things haven't improved as much as we women had hoped.  

  

A Senior's New Year's Plans

A lot changes as we age...our looks, our expectations, our personal likes and dislikes.  When I was a young woman, New Year's eve meant parties, dancing, drinking, and raucous behaviour.  Tonight I'm happily choosing to spend the early evening playing cards with friends.  Being a psychology enthusiast, I'm trying to decide if this is really what I'd prefer to be doing...and I do believe it is.  We do change a lot as we age but not everyone changes in the same way.  There will be loads of seniors attending our park's New Year's eve party at the clubhouse tonight and I'm sure they'll enjoy themselves muchly!

It seems that I'm gravitating towards more serenity in my life as I age.  Looking forward to an evening where I know we'll yak and laugh for most of it is what I truly want these days.  Maybe it's a time of winding down for me, I don't know, but I live a gentler life than I used to live...as little drama and discord as possible.

I've come to understand that sometimes we do what we think we should be doing instead of what we really prefer to do.  What I definitely don't want to do this 2013 New Year's eve is to sit in a darkened hall which is too noisy to converse with my friends.  Thankfully, I have the option of choosing to do something else that I'll enjoy much more. 

Happy New Year!

Dieting...again!

How many diets have I been on in my life...it seems like thousands and none of them really worked because I didn't learn to change my bad eating habits.  Right now I'm using Sensa and it seems to lessen my appetite, especially inbetween meals.  I don't think it has any bad side effects but we never really know, do we?

Since I'm pre-diabetic, I can't rely on fresh fruit as much as I used to but I've been imbibing in a glass of wine every evening this week.  On top of taking away any residual appetite I might have, it makes me feel pretty mellow, too.  I realized how convenient it is for me to afford a glass of wine nightly while in the States but it won't be so easily affordable when I'm back home in Canada.  I decided not to even think about it because I may not even want it then.  Overweight people are usually flighty, too, and change their habits on a whim.  That's me.

I checked online to see if wine is a deterrent to weight loss and it seems it causes no harm as long as taken in moderation.  Moderation means no more than 2 glasses per day and I only have 1 so I guess I'm safe.

I don't know if this present diet will last or do any good but I'm still willing to stay on it.  The Sensa honestly helps.  I just hope it doesn't cause any unknown damage to my innards!

The "Knockout Game"

Honestly, can there be anything much more cowardly than a group of young men attacking an unsuspecting passer-by and flooring him...or her...with a single punch?  For the life of me, I don't understand why they wouldn't be ashamed of their cowardly act.

One such young man cold cocked a 79 year old man, causing serious physical damage, and he has the nerve to brag about his disgusting and cowardly act?  He's been arrested and will serve jail time so maybe someone a little stronger than him will give him some pay back.  I sincerely hope so!

It's very perplexing to understand why some of our youth are participating in cruel and cowardly games like this.  Have we managed to breed a disturbingly large segment of a generation with no conscience?  How are their parents dealing with it?  How will these young men behave as they grow older?  How safe will their wives and children be around them?

I say this because I believe that if you allow yourself to commit cruel acts for any reason it changes your total perception of life and how you live it.  Once an act is committed, it's easier to re-commit.  If someone deems it acceptable to punch an innocent elderly man to the ground, then that person really can't be trusted to behave humanely for the rest of their lives.

I saw a video taken by a public security camera that showed a young man pass a young woman then turn quickly and cold cock her from behind.  She hit the ground on her face and unconcious.  He ran like a rat.  Cowardly?  Hell, yes!  The question is, how awful must he feel about himself to do such a thing in the first place?  Does he have such low self esteem that hitting a woman from behind gave him some sense of superiority?  Not only are these idiots cowards, they're also pathetic.

I hope those caught playing the "knockout game" are punished well enough that it will become a thing of the past.

  

Today is Coffee Day

I don't know what  spurred me to start having a once a week coffee morning for the park ladies because I'm not the sort of person to push myself on people.  In any case, it's become a really nice part of park life and draws more and more ladies every year.  I think it's a great way for new residents to meet the rest of us, too.

I think it was last year that I changed our meeting time to 10 A.M. instead of 9 A.M. and this was so the air got a chance to warm up and allow us to have our coffee out on the patio.  With so many ladies joining us, it's easier than having to crowd into my little trailer.  We've had up to 24 outside and that number would never have fit into the trailer.

Some of the husbands hear our laughter and remind their wives that is "coffee morning" over here.  LOL!  We do have such a nice time and I know it gets pretty noisy at times...but it's all laughter!

I usually go out for lunch after everyone leaves on Fridays so I invited anyone who'd like to join me to come along.  I guess this will become our new tradition because we had about 8 two weeks ago.  Last week there was a luncheon in the clubhouse so only Sylvia, Barb, and I went out to a restaurant.  This week we're going to "Nothing Fancy" up on HWY 27 and I'm hoping we'll have a nice crowd go with us.

We're all retired ladies with lots of free time and it's so nice that we've reached this age with few enough health problems that we can take it easy and enjoy ourselves.  Lady friends are a pure joy to have...at any age! 

The weather in Florida has been so extra nice that I'm not sure we've had to have coffee morning inside the trailer since I got here this year.  We're expecting rain some time today but the air is warm so we probably will have a lovely morning drinking coffee, yakking, and laughing on the patio.  Life is so damned good!

Xmas 2013

Spending the winter in Florida means I always miss my family at Christmas time and it was no different this year.  The only thing that helps is to know how dreadful the weather is back home compared to the sunny, balmy Florida weather.

Christmas morning alone has become a slightly uncomfortable time for me but it gradually eases away after having Xmas dinner in the clubhouse with over a 100 near and dear friends.  This morning was not so bad and I think it was because I'm taking care of Tank for a few days.  He's a drop dead gorgeous yellow lab with the sweetest personality...but he is stinking up my trailer.  I hope Febreze will clear out the doggy smell after he leaves.

I never heard a peep out of him all night long (I expected he might wander a bit and bump his huge body into things) and, when I got up this morning he was still lying in his bed looking questioningly at me...was I going to feed him or put him out for a pee?  I chose to take him out for a pee.  It was chilly out and I put a jacket on over my nightie, got him attached to the leash outside and told him to hurry up.  He sat down.  He surveyed the scenery.  I nudged him and he strolled into the middle of the lawn and ate some grass.  It was quite a while before he actually peed.  It's a good thing I adore him.

All in all, it's quite understandable why people living alone like to have a pet because they are pleasant company.  Knowing this, I still won't get a dog for myself because I don't want to be tied down to looking after it.  And then, my life is busy enough and full enough to keep me happy without a pet.

But it has been nice having Tank around.

Beggars

I almost never see a beggar in Canada.  Now, this doesn't mean we don't have any, it means in part that the climate doesn't support outdoor begging.  I also like to think that no-one really needs to beg...but maybe my head is in the clouds.

I don't think I've ever seen a beggar in the northern states and that's probably for the same reason I don't see them in Canada.

It is different in Florida where street beggars are seen quite often, usually at intersections where there is lots of car traffic.  Yesterday I saw my very first family of beggars and it was very disconcerting because I really do hope there can be no reason for it.  We'd gone to Walmart and were returning home with a carload of mostly groceries when we spotted a man holding a sign at an intersection that said he was out of work.  Next to him sat his wife and 3 children, one of whom was in a stroller.  Could this really be the truth and they had no food or shelter?  I don't believe it because I don't want to believe it.  It's the same as learning that families are living in their cars...I can't allow myself to belief this too is happening and that they really have no resources.  Are there not social programs in effect that give everyone in need food and shelter?

I've assumed that the routine of needing social services if you had no money meant that they would immediately find you somewhere to live and I know that there are food pantries (which sometimes run out of food).  I also know that some beggars are not in need at all but out for easy money (street kids and at least one very well off woman from back home).  It's very troubling to think that little family is sleeping out in the field somewhere without food...but I can't honestly believe that happening.  Am I blind to the truth?  But wouldn't the parents turn their children over to social services rather than let them starve?  I've never heard of anyone in the States or Canada actually starving to death because they were broke.

Logic tells me that this is a scam but uncertainty keeps me wondering. 

Bad Lady

I had an interesting but upsetting experience yesterday.  Joann, Barb, Louise, and I went to our internet casinos and I, for one, did pretty good...+$17 for the day.  The upsetting experience happened at one of our casinos when I left my machine (with about $30 in it) to go to the washroom.  You have to know that this is a tiny casino with about a dozen people in it at the time.  I didn't log out because I felt it was obvious that I was still using the machine...a game was up and there was the money still in it.

When I came back from the washroom, there was a lady sitting at my machine and playing on my money!  I went up to her and asked what she was doing and she replied that she was playing on her own money and claimed there was no money in it when she began.  I asked her if she'd logged me out and she said I was already logged out so I asked her if she'd logged in her own number.  She was very defensive when it became obvious that she was playing on my money.  I have to assume she didn't realize I'd only gone to the washroom but had left the building with $30 fiddling dollars still in the machine!  I don't know why she didn't just admit it and apologize but she wouldn't.

The manager of the casino came over to settle the dispute and saw that I was still logged in to that machine when he checked his equipment so he asked her to pay up and he'd match her dollar for dollar.  She agreed, paid her money and stormed out of the casino.  What a creep!!

It's possible she thought I was just some old lady who didn't understand how the machines worked but she was wrong.  It really bothered me that she was so adamant in her lie but I learned a lesson...don't trust anyone except the ones you know are honest.   

Freedom of Speech

Phil Robertson (of "Duck Dynasty) has lost his show on A & E because he stated his personal belief that he felt homosexuality was wrong.  Heaven forbid that anyone should dare make a disparaging remark about gays or you can lose your job!  A & E gleefully airs disgusting (in my estimation) programs like "Sister Wives" but fires a man who lives a clean and productive life and believes in his bible.

I know people who are very happy with A & E's decision because it reflects their own beliefs but they've truly missed the point.  Where would the gay movement be today if not for our so-called freedom of speech?  It was freedom of speech that allowed gay rights to flourish as it has...and rightfully so but freedom of speech is not for gay supporters only.  It is for everyone, no matter what their belief system is.

Phil Robertson never said he wanted gays to be harmed or discriminated in any way but his own personal belief is that homosexuality is wrong and he, the same as gays, has the right to his opinion and doesn't deserve to lose his job over it.

Postscript:  Oh boy, I screwed up when I wrote this blog without knowing the full facts.  Phil Robertson said a whole lot more than "homosexuality is wrong".  He blasted out hatred and ignorance the likes not heard from any intelligent human being in a long, long time.  Once I read further about his ghastly comments on homosexuality and blacks, I realized I'd been jumping on the wrong bandwagon.  He is a nasty, nasty man and A&E didn't need to fire him...he lost most of his audience by exposing himself as the ignorant bigot he is.  

I need to get my facts straight before I blog a rant again. 

Drunk Driving Manslaughter

When I read the 10 year probation sentence given to a 16 year old young man for drunk driving that resulted in four deaths I felt shock and deep sympathy for all involved...even for the driver who will learn nothing from getting off so lightly.  The judge in this case is despicable and unworthy of his job.

The reason for such a light sentence that took the lives of four people...the boy was spoiled by his wealthy parents.  He's never been disciplined or had to take responsibility for his mistakes and now the judge has perpetuated his belief that he can get away with anything he chooses to do.

I'm not saying a sixteen year old boy should spend the rest of his life in jail but surely the consequences of drunk driving manslaughter should reflect the horrible results of the boy's actions.  Jail time should be mandatory, at least until he's 21.  This boy is living in a dream world and he will definitely go on to do more damage to society because a ten year probation sentence is no more than a slap on the wrist.  I wonder what the sentence would have been if he'd been a poor black boy?

No, justice is far from fair but this time it's done irreparable harm to the sixteen year old boy who will go through life feeling that driving drunk and killing four innocent people isn't a really bad thing. 

Poignant Memory

Sometimes we think we're sailing through life and thoroughly enjoying the trip, not missing the lifestyle of our youth.  Then a picture or a thought hits you hard and you feel a distinct loss for what once was.  I had a moment like this today.

Since I've been coming to Florida for the winter, my Christmas celebrations have changed drastically.  I rarely decorate but might hang a wreath on the door as my only concession to the holiday.  I truly love our Christmas dinner at the clubhouse which is always filled with happy friends.  I thought I didn't miss the crazy, busy Christmas traditions I followed when my children were young...but I was wrong.

I was watching something on T.V. and the scene of a livingroom with decorated tree came on the screen.  Now, I see such scenes all the time and it never affects me but this one did.  For just a moment I remembered clearly the Christmas mornings when my children would be gleefully gathered around the tree opening their presents and I almost cried with regret that those days are gone forever.  That precious time in my life has come and gone and will never be experienced again.

Other good and happy moments will take their place but those days were golden.  I think I knew it at the time and I'm so lucky to have experienced them at all.  There will always be special days in your life but some will take your breath away with their exquisite importance.  Christmas mornings with my babies were that special. 

Leveling

Dr. Phil comes out with some of the most interesting concepts and he taught me something important today.  When a person feels inadequate, they either work hard to raise themselves up or else they run others down to what they consider their own low level.  That is called "leveling" and we've all experienced it at some time in our lives...either we were the ones leveling up or the ones being battered.

In recent years I've found myself reacting to inconsiderate or deliberately rude people in an entirely different way than I did when I was younger.  These days my impatience with such people quickly fades away to pity for them instead.  Mean and cruel people are very unhappy in their own skin and that's why they act the way they do.  Now, I may understand why they're acting horribly and feel sorry for them but I also have no time for them in my life, either.  If I was a better person I'd try to help them become a better person, too, but I just have no interest in trying to rehabilitate anyone.  As far as I'm concerned, if they're not on my love list, they can sink or swim.  It's their choice.

Just having someone take a moment of their life to be genuinely pleasant to us can make our day.  It's a reminder that we can step out of our own problems and be nice if we choose.  If we choose to wallow in our own misery and take it out on others, our misery will only deepen.  You can choose to be happy and, if you're happy, a caring for others will pour out of you.  It's a win/win situation.

Soooo...choose to "level" up!

Sleeping Engineer

In a recent train accident which resulted in 4 (I think) deaths, we're now hearing that the man driving the train was asleep.  His union is using this as an acceptable excuse for the man who was in charge of the train and the protection of his passengers.  They say he didn't have a good sleep the night before coming on duty.  This is not an acceptable excuse!  It's negligence.  If he wasn't capable of performing the duties of his job he should have booked off and stayed home. 

We seem to have developed into a society where the union protects employees who are negligent in their jobs.  I feel sympathy for this man because I'm sure he's suffering guilt but the people who lost their lives and the loved ones of the victims have suffered much more.

It's become so darned refreshing to hear someone take responsibility for their mistakes...we all make mistakes from time to time...but it's a blot on humanity when someone who is blatantly at fault hides behind their lawyers or unions.

For his own sake, I hope this man can accept his fault, fess up to it, and then take the punishment for his actions.

Xmas Presents

There's no question that I love the Xmas season but it's more for the turkey dinners than the presents.  I do miss being with the little ones when they open their presents, though.

I started wondering how we all got conned into buying everyone we know presents for Xmas.  When you think of it, it doesn't make much sense to pay good money for something we don't know for sure the recipient will want or even like.  It would make more sense if we took that Xmas money and bought something lovely for ourselves and then everyone would be happy.

My husband and I had devolved into buying something for the house as our joint Xmas present and it sort of lost a lot of meaning for us.  I still insisted on a little something under the tree and we took our chances that it would be something we each kind of wanted.  Still, it is fun watching the small munchkins so joyful as they tear open their Xmas presents.

I've further devolved into giving Kim and Cindy gift certificates and then having Kim include me in whatever she buys for Nolan and Nash.  Because I'm in Florida, Shelley's family usually gets a proper gift...but I'm sure it's always something they could easily do without.  Sigh!

But gift giving among adults really is idiotic when the concept is put into perspective.  I'd much rather buy something nice for myself than have someone else buy me something I'm not crazy about.  Unchristmasy but true.

Black Friday

Isn't it a hideous aspect of human nature that we'll sweetly celebrate Thanksgiving one day and then greedily shove and trample other human beings the next day in order to save a couple of bucks on a purchase?  Last year, a Walmart employee opened the doors to a horde of crazed shoppers and was trampled to death.  Shouldn't we be ashamed of this behaviour?  It seems not because many, many people are already planning their Black Friday shopping strategy for tomorrow.  Ick!

Obamacare Could Be Working

If President Obama had not had so many of the U.S. elected officials working against his proposed health care plan, it would be up and running by now.  I'm utterly amazed that it is even hobbling along right now and just might be a success in time if only the Republicans would stop hindering it.

The insurance industry and the outrageously highly paid doctors in the U.S. should be ashamed of themselves for trying to kill a health care plan that would benefit millions of Americans.  Only a small percentage of Americans are lucky enough to have good coverage due to their employers but the vast majority have poor or no health insurance at all.

I've always like President Obama because he seemed so human but I believe he'll go down in history not only as the first black president but the one who, against all odds, brought a decent government health care plan to the citizens of the United States.

If he's made any mistakes at all with his plan, it's that he didn't make the logistics of it plain and clear from the very start.  He might have but it's become so muddied by dissenters that many Americans still don't know what they'll be getting.  One thing for certain, though, is that the cost of what they'll be getting won't line the pockets of the insurance companies.

I don't like to harp at Americans about how happy we Canadians are with our own government health insurance, flawed as it is, but its miles ahead of the present situation in the States.  We have our choice of doctors, we never see a medical bill, and even the poorest of the poor will receive the same medical care as the richest of the rich.  And that's a good thing!!