I spent most of yesterday crying and eating potato chips, in misery over losing Isabel. Absolutely useless and fruitless waste of time. I ignored phone calls but did fortunately answer one from Joann...she was bringing me some goodies she'd baked. Then I opened Facebook and saw that Carol had left me a message saying she didn't think Lloyd was going to survive...he's been in the hospital since Saturday (3rd time this winter). What upset me was that it was 6:30 and she'd left the message at 3:30. All I could think of was that she was at the hospital alone at such a terrible time.
It was too late for me to attempt to drive to the hospital so I hunted down Dee who can see to drive in the dark. Of course, Dee is an angel who goes far out of her way to do anything she can to help others so I knew she'd drive us. She did.
Both Carol and Lloyd's daughter, Patty, were sitting in the room with Lloyd who is in an induced coma while a tube has been put down his throat to help him breathe. His blood pressure is too low and his lungs are filled with fluid. It didn't look good.
We went off to the visitors room to talk and it was good to hear that Carol and Patty are both in accord with not allowing unnecessary life sustaining measures to be used on Lloyd. He's 82 and in terrible health. I wouldn't want to be put on life support after all hope is gone and we know he wouldn't, either.
Dee and I left for home feeling secure that Carol and Patty were comfortable with whatever should occur. Sometimes all you can do is just be there.
There is a time to let go, to go on to whatever lies beyond what we know as life. Many fear the unknown but we really have no choice but to take that step when the time comes. We can only hope we've left behind good memories for our loved ones.
When I got home, I sat and thought about what an emotional day it had been. I still grieved for Isabel but I was more at peace with it. Wherever she's gone, she's there by now and I hope her heaven is as beautiful as I envision it.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Monday, March 28, 2016
I don't know how to title this. I'm feeling so bad inside that I don't know how to cope with it. I've suffered losses all my life but this one is just too much for me. I'm writing this so that I can try to understand and get past it.
The feeling is of hopelessness and futility. I've felt this before when I had depression and assume it's what's troubling me again. Why even start a life that will end in such sadness and unfairness. There doesn't seem to be any logic in being born only to suffer and die when you have a family that loves you and that you love. I'm trying to make sense of something that none of us can ever understand.
This isn't helping. She's gone and she's not coming back. How bloody unfair and incomprehensible is this bloody life.
The feeling is of hopelessness and futility. I've felt this before when I had depression and assume it's what's troubling me again. Why even start a life that will end in such sadness and unfairness. There doesn't seem to be any logic in being born only to suffer and die when you have a family that loves you and that you love. I'm trying to make sense of something that none of us can ever understand.
This isn't helping. She's gone and she's not coming back. How bloody unfair and incomprehensible is this bloody life.
Isabel
You never know who will come into your life and make a magical difference and this is how it was with Isabel. I met her first as a kind of snobby (so I thought) little 10 year old girl who seemed to have an unusual hard exterior...not bad but pugnacious. I didn't know at the time that she'd been adopted by very loving parents (my neighbors) but who knows what memories she carried from who knows what kind of background. I never asked.
As time went on, Isabel married and moved away from her childhood home but I stayed on and, lo and behold, years later Isabel moved back into her childhood home with her family of husband and 3 children. We were neighbors again but this time it was different. We became friends and she became like a 4th daughter to me. I understood her now and admired her strengths greatly. One of her daughters had been born with cerebral palsy and was quite handicapped by it. Isabel and Steve were such excellent parents, doing everything in their power for their children. Steve was known as the "mayor of Duncombe Dr. because he was out and about all the time helping and socializing with his neighbors. Isabel used to tell me she modeled her life after mine (not exactly true, though) by working part-time only and having more time with her children. This was a couple who worked together as a team and their closeness lasted till the end.
Isabel passed away yesterday from a cancer that had taken such a hold that even a spirit as strong as Isabel's couldn't stop it.
Maybe it was because she was adopted that family was so very important to Isabel. Her children and then her grandchildren became the most important people in her life...after Steve, of course. Their lives were fully entwined and that proved to be what made her last days good ones. I won't allow myself to think how hard it was for her to know she wouldn't be around to see her grandchildren grow up but at least she knew the adults in their lives would take good care of them.
We remained neighbors for many, many years before I sold my house a couple of years ago so I have a million memories of my time with Isabel. She was an exceptional woman, taking up rowing in her older years and becoming excellent at it. The only fly in her ointment came from one of her daughters who became estranged from the family and remained so even today. It's a tragedy, shame, and unimaginable that this is the case but we can't always understand what makes some people tick.
But the true and loving constants in Isabel's life were her husband, children, and 3 grandchildren. Her joy came especially came from them.
It was Stuart who messaged me today to give me the news of Isabel's passing. I told him that I'd held hope she might beat the damned cancer because she'd fought it over and over since being diagnosed and lasted longer than predicted.
Stuart got married last summer and one of my favorite memories of all time will be the love I saw in their eyes as son and mother danced together. She seemed so well and so happy. It's something to be thankful for..that she got to attend her son's marriage to a lady who also loved Isabel. There was so very much good in Isabel's life and it's just not right that it was taken away from her too soon.
Steve said he was glad her suffering was over and I agree. I remember feeling the same way when Dennis passed away. Their illness makes us feel as though we're on a horrific roller coaster of hope and dismay until we become numb..In the end, we only want them to be at peace and then we'll handle the fallout from their loss.
Losing someone we love and who held an important position in our lives is like losing a part of our history. It's like being whittled away and it will take time to accept it.
I miss you, Isabel. I always will.
As time went on, Isabel married and moved away from her childhood home but I stayed on and, lo and behold, years later Isabel moved back into her childhood home with her family of husband and 3 children. We were neighbors again but this time it was different. We became friends and she became like a 4th daughter to me. I understood her now and admired her strengths greatly. One of her daughters had been born with cerebral palsy and was quite handicapped by it. Isabel and Steve were such excellent parents, doing everything in their power for their children. Steve was known as the "mayor of Duncombe Dr. because he was out and about all the time helping and socializing with his neighbors. Isabel used to tell me she modeled her life after mine (not exactly true, though) by working part-time only and having more time with her children. This was a couple who worked together as a team and their closeness lasted till the end.
Isabel passed away yesterday from a cancer that had taken such a hold that even a spirit as strong as Isabel's couldn't stop it.
Maybe it was because she was adopted that family was so very important to Isabel. Her children and then her grandchildren became the most important people in her life...after Steve, of course. Their lives were fully entwined and that proved to be what made her last days good ones. I won't allow myself to think how hard it was for her to know she wouldn't be around to see her grandchildren grow up but at least she knew the adults in their lives would take good care of them.
We remained neighbors for many, many years before I sold my house a couple of years ago so I have a million memories of my time with Isabel. She was an exceptional woman, taking up rowing in her older years and becoming excellent at it. The only fly in her ointment came from one of her daughters who became estranged from the family and remained so even today. It's a tragedy, shame, and unimaginable that this is the case but we can't always understand what makes some people tick.
But the true and loving constants in Isabel's life were her husband, children, and 3 grandchildren. Her joy came especially came from them.
It was Stuart who messaged me today to give me the news of Isabel's passing. I told him that I'd held hope she might beat the damned cancer because she'd fought it over and over since being diagnosed and lasted longer than predicted.
Stuart got married last summer and one of my favorite memories of all time will be the love I saw in their eyes as son and mother danced together. She seemed so well and so happy. It's something to be thankful for..that she got to attend her son's marriage to a lady who also loved Isabel. There was so very much good in Isabel's life and it's just not right that it was taken away from her too soon.
Steve said he was glad her suffering was over and I agree. I remember feeling the same way when Dennis passed away. Their illness makes us feel as though we're on a horrific roller coaster of hope and dismay until we become numb..In the end, we only want them to be at peace and then we'll handle the fallout from their loss.
Losing someone we love and who held an important position in our lives is like losing a part of our history. It's like being whittled away and it will take time to accept it.
I miss you, Isabel. I always will.
Friday, March 25, 2016
Coincidence?
I love stories of possible coincidence that ended up being a life-saving moment. One such moment happened yesterday to Shelley.
Shelley is a nurse practitioner who was on her way to "Bed and Bath". She set her GPS for the address where she was going and headed off to her destination. When she reached a certain point, her GPS told her to turn left when she was pretty certain she was supposed to turn right. Tending to believe the GPS, she turned left and drove out of her way for 2 miles before deciding the GPS was wrong and u-turned to retrace her steps.
In less than a city block, she witnessed a car crash into a tree. She could see a figure inside the car that wasn't moving so she rushed over to do what she could, telling a young man at the scene to start breaking windows to get the driver out. This was very important because smoke was beginning to come out of the car.
The young man was able to break into the car and helped remove the unconscious driver so Shelley could perform CPR on him. When she started he had no pulse and wasn't breathing but she was able to "restart" him. When paramedics arrived, Shelley stepped aside and let them do their work. Apparently the driver stopped breathing again as they loaded him into the ambulance so we don't know if he survived.
The point is...what intervention occurred to have Shelley's GPS send her 2 miles out of her way where she would see an accident and be present to offer medical attention? This story gives me chills to think how many times in our lives, accidental occurrences result in a most favorable outcome.
Was this just a coincidence? I honestly don't think so and it reinforces my belief that there is some kind of guidance and plan for our existence on this planet. Not being religious, it's difficult for me to make logic out of this but it is what it is...and I doubt very much that it was coincidence.
Update: Shelley hunted him down at the hospital he was taken to and he is still alive but in an induced coma. She met his family who had been told of her involvement in saving his life and who were very grateful to her. It still remains uncertain if he will recover but I'm thinking all of this didn't happen just so that he'd live but a few days more. I think he was saved for a purpose and it would be interesting to learn what it was.
Shelley is a nurse practitioner who was on her way to "Bed and Bath". She set her GPS for the address where she was going and headed off to her destination. When she reached a certain point, her GPS told her to turn left when she was pretty certain she was supposed to turn right. Tending to believe the GPS, she turned left and drove out of her way for 2 miles before deciding the GPS was wrong and u-turned to retrace her steps.
In less than a city block, she witnessed a car crash into a tree. She could see a figure inside the car that wasn't moving so she rushed over to do what she could, telling a young man at the scene to start breaking windows to get the driver out. This was very important because smoke was beginning to come out of the car.
The young man was able to break into the car and helped remove the unconscious driver so Shelley could perform CPR on him. When she started he had no pulse and wasn't breathing but she was able to "restart" him. When paramedics arrived, Shelley stepped aside and let them do their work. Apparently the driver stopped breathing again as they loaded him into the ambulance so we don't know if he survived.
The point is...what intervention occurred to have Shelley's GPS send her 2 miles out of her way where she would see an accident and be present to offer medical attention? This story gives me chills to think how many times in our lives, accidental occurrences result in a most favorable outcome.
Was this just a coincidence? I honestly don't think so and it reinforces my belief that there is some kind of guidance and plan for our existence on this planet. Not being religious, it's difficult for me to make logic out of this but it is what it is...and I doubt very much that it was coincidence.
Update: Shelley hunted him down at the hospital he was taken to and he is still alive but in an induced coma. She met his family who had been told of her involvement in saving his life and who were very grateful to her. It still remains uncertain if he will recover but I'm thinking all of this didn't happen just so that he'd live but a few days more. I think he was saved for a purpose and it would be interesting to learn what it was.
Friday, March 18, 2016
Friday Morning Coffee
Many years ago I got the idea to start a coffee morning get-together for the ladies in the park. It's been a source of fun and getting to know each other ever since and I'm always amazed how much the ladies enjoy it. I'm not a very outgoing person so I don't know why I chose to do this but I'm glad I did.
A few years ago we hit the 22 attendees point but so many have left the park now that the average might be just below or just above the dozen mark. I'm not sure if my circle of friends is diminishing or that the new people in the park just aren't interested. Of course, many of the new people are younger but that's never seemed to be a deterrent before.
The final Friday coffee morning this year will be on April 1st. It's a holiday but I just didn't want to end our get-togethers too early in March. Husbands will be allowed to join us on our last coffee morning of the season...some are brave enough to come, too!
My Florida winter season is rapidly coming to an end and in three weeks I'll be back home. It will be nice getting back into the flow of the lives of my family there.
But today is coffee time and I know it will be full of laughs. I am very grateful for the company of such wonderful ladies and the fact that they like me enough to join me every Friday morning we're in Florida.
Update: As our morning was coming to a close, Dee presented me with a gift from my ladies...a deluxe pedicure at the salon they know I get mine done. I was very overcome with emotion knowing these ladies care about me so I couldn't read the card and put it aside to read later. Everyone left a little message on it and I'll save and treasure it forever. The pedicure I'll enjoy this coming Thursday!
A few years ago we hit the 22 attendees point but so many have left the park now that the average might be just below or just above the dozen mark. I'm not sure if my circle of friends is diminishing or that the new people in the park just aren't interested. Of course, many of the new people are younger but that's never seemed to be a deterrent before.
The final Friday coffee morning this year will be on April 1st. It's a holiday but I just didn't want to end our get-togethers too early in March. Husbands will be allowed to join us on our last coffee morning of the season...some are brave enough to come, too!
My Florida winter season is rapidly coming to an end and in three weeks I'll be back home. It will be nice getting back into the flow of the lives of my family there.
But today is coffee time and I know it will be full of laughs. I am very grateful for the company of such wonderful ladies and the fact that they like me enough to join me every Friday morning we're in Florida.
Update: As our morning was coming to a close, Dee presented me with a gift from my ladies...a deluxe pedicure at the salon they know I get mine done. I was very overcome with emotion knowing these ladies care about me so I couldn't read the card and put it aside to read later. Everyone left a little message on it and I'll save and treasure it forever. The pedicure I'll enjoy this coming Thursday!
Thursday, March 17, 2016
St. Patrick's Day in the 1950's
My heritage is pretty scattered but I do know I have at least 1/8th Irish blood through my grandmother and her father. It's all I can cling to because the rest of my heritage (other than 1/8th French through the same grandmother) is unknown. It's enough for me to feel quite Irish.
We're having a St. Patrick's Day dinner at the clubhouse today with corned beef and cabbage...this reminds me so strongly of my youth.
I lived with my grandmother, grandfather, mother, and sister in the 1940's and 1950's. My grandmother had been a bootlegger for as long as I could remember but it wasn't a sleazy operation because her customers were mainly old Irish widowers who just wanted an nice place to spend a Sunday afternoon drinking beer and singing Irish songs.
My grandfather was a true Irishman (not my blood relative, though) so the combination of him and my 50% Irish grandmother was the reason we celebrated St. Patrick's Day to the fullest. Nan would somehow make the beer green and always cooked a fantastic meal of corned beef and cabbage. Delicious! She was an excellent cook who taught me nothing about cooking. Too bad.
Nan always put a henna rinse in her grey hair to make it a nasty orange color but she liked it. On St. Patrick's Day, she also dressed in green and put a green bow in her hair. At the time I thought it looked hideous but I'd give up a year of my life to see it all again. You often don't appreciate the treasures in your life until you lose them. My Nan was a character and a treasure.
I mentioned before how I loved to sit quietly in a corner and listen to these old Irishmen sing the Irish songs. On St. Patrick's Day, they were sung with more fervor but maybe that's because they drank a little bit more beer in celebration of their day. I cherish those memories.
I haven't had corned beef and cabbage since she passed away so I'm hoping today's meal with be authentic but, even if it isn't, I'll be sharing it with good friends. Life is good.
We're having a St. Patrick's Day dinner at the clubhouse today with corned beef and cabbage...this reminds me so strongly of my youth.
I lived with my grandmother, grandfather, mother, and sister in the 1940's and 1950's. My grandmother had been a bootlegger for as long as I could remember but it wasn't a sleazy operation because her customers were mainly old Irish widowers who just wanted an nice place to spend a Sunday afternoon drinking beer and singing Irish songs.
My grandfather was a true Irishman (not my blood relative, though) so the combination of him and my 50% Irish grandmother was the reason we celebrated St. Patrick's Day to the fullest. Nan would somehow make the beer green and always cooked a fantastic meal of corned beef and cabbage. Delicious! She was an excellent cook who taught me nothing about cooking. Too bad.
Nan always put a henna rinse in her grey hair to make it a nasty orange color but she liked it. On St. Patrick's Day, she also dressed in green and put a green bow in her hair. At the time I thought it looked hideous but I'd give up a year of my life to see it all again. You often don't appreciate the treasures in your life until you lose them. My Nan was a character and a treasure.
I mentioned before how I loved to sit quietly in a corner and listen to these old Irishmen sing the Irish songs. On St. Patrick's Day, they were sung with more fervor but maybe that's because they drank a little bit more beer in celebration of their day. I cherish those memories.
I haven't had corned beef and cabbage since she passed away so I'm hoping today's meal with be authentic but, even if it isn't, I'll be sharing it with good friends. Life is good.
Wednesday, March 16, 2016
Daydreaming
It's entirely possible that I daydream more than most people and that's because I'm very aware how many forks in the road of life I came upon. At each and every fork, I had to make a conscious decision which path to follow. Some were big mistakes but I have no-one to blame but myself. Granted, many times I felt I had no choice but to choose the path I did but, in the end, it was my choice.
I often do my daydreaming in the hour or so before I fall asleep at night. I imagine how my life would have turned out if I'd made different choices. It's really amazing how just by choosing one alternate path would have changed my life immeasurably.
I shouldn't have had my children so young but I would never change that part of my life because, by doing so, I wouldn't have the family I do today. Maybe accidents are not accidents at all but a higher power's way of directing us.
Many of my daydreams begin after my family is intact. I imagine having gone back to school and better educated myself. I did try that but my husband couldn't deal with it and I quit. What if I had struggled on instead of caving in?? It makes for an interesting scenario in my daydreams.
But, way too often, I can't make a different choice of path in life simply because I know how much it would cost me. Even my daydreams become restricted because it would mean a loss of something I treasure in my real life.
By circumstance, I have landed my 75 1/2 year old butt in a pretty nice place. I'm happy. I have a loving family and most of my health. Maybe this is where I was meant to be all along. But it's still fun to imagine how it could have been if I'd taken a few different roads.
I often do my daydreaming in the hour or so before I fall asleep at night. I imagine how my life would have turned out if I'd made different choices. It's really amazing how just by choosing one alternate path would have changed my life immeasurably.
I shouldn't have had my children so young but I would never change that part of my life because, by doing so, I wouldn't have the family I do today. Maybe accidents are not accidents at all but a higher power's way of directing us.
Many of my daydreams begin after my family is intact. I imagine having gone back to school and better educated myself. I did try that but my husband couldn't deal with it and I quit. What if I had struggled on instead of caving in?? It makes for an interesting scenario in my daydreams.
But, way too often, I can't make a different choice of path in life simply because I know how much it would cost me. Even my daydreams become restricted because it would mean a loss of something I treasure in my real life.
By circumstance, I have landed my 75 1/2 year old butt in a pretty nice place. I'm happy. I have a loving family and most of my health. Maybe this is where I was meant to be all along. But it's still fun to imagine how it could have been if I'd taken a few different roads.
Thursday, March 10, 2016
A Contented Life
I never lose track of the fact that it was Dennis' hard work that gave me this comfortable life and it's so sad that he didn't live long enough to fully enjoy his retirement. He was always the strong, healthy one (other than smoking) and I was the fat, depressed one...but here I am now, very happy with my life. It's strange how life takes so many turns until you arrive where you do.
I've made direct changes to my attitude about life and maybe have become the person I was meant to be all along. I wrote before about my belief that marrying too young stunts one's mental maturity and I honestly believe that happened to me. It seemed my mind really was in a state of chaos when I was younger because I couldn't make sense of my life.
These days, I have good friends who are wonderful to be around and who fill my days and thoughts with happiness. My family is doing fine and we're very closely connected...I don't think I could be happy if that changed at all.
I have plans. The biggest and best is to visit Sylvia in September and then to be well enough to travel back to Florida for next winter. I'm trying not to think about the good friends here who might not make it back and that's not pleasant to think about. Of course, I'm eager to see all my family again but it does help to have Shelley living so close through the winter.
I'm going over to Shelley's on Saturday and bar hopping with her, Faye, and Marilee to a Newfoundland bar. Matt and Kellie arrive later that night for a week's vacation and I'm so thrilled to see them. There will be all kinds of family get-togethers all month, ending with Shelley's "cousins" party on April 2nd when I'll see more of my nieces and nephews, too. Kim, Cindy, and Don will be there so all my 3 girls will be together!
Cindy, Don, and I will head back to Canada later that week and I'm not sad to go. It's time to go on with the next phase of my year and enjoy Nolan and Nash while they're still little boys. My life is good.
I'll be 76 in August...another thing that's hard to believe because I don't feel it. Mind you, my body keeps reminding me, though. What I feel is a vibrant, curious mind that knows it has much to learn yet. I often wonder how it will be when I'm at the end of my life...I know I'll be sorry to leave my loved ones but I think I'll still be curious about what happens next. I believe life goes on somewhere but I'll just have to wait and see.
But I'm going to enjoy today. The peace and quiet of the morning, the Sewing Club luncheon at noon, a nap in the afternoon, and then playing cards this evening with friends. Who could have thought this old gal's life could turn out so nice?
Tuesday, March 08, 2016
Broken Bed
I've been really happy with my new bed but did notice how the bed frame seemed to be kind of squeaky...no other activity here than me rolling over in my sleep!
Last night I got up to pee and, when I went back to bed, the frame spread out and the box spring was in serious danger of falling to the floor. I'm thankful this happened when I wasn't laying down or I bet something would have broken, either me or the bed!
And so I had a choice...either go sleep on the sofa or raise the mattress and box spring to see what had happened to the bed frame. I was a little worried because I'd already hurt my arm moving the sofa a few weeks ago and didn't want to cause any more harm to myself but I was curious. The first thing I did was to drag the mattress off and prop it up against the wall. This trailer bedroom is only about 8' x 8' so there's not much room to maneuver. Next I lifted the end of the box spring up just enough to see that the bed frame had separated in the center where it should have been locked in place.
My only option to draw it back in and screw it in place was to lay the heavy box spring on my head so that my hands were free. Very difficult and uncomfortable but I was determined. It took really only a few minutes to accomplish this because I also had to draw the frame in the perfect amount, not too wide or too narrow, so that the box spring would sit perfectly on it. I did it! And, after tightening the screw that holds the frame tightly in place, I managed to get the box spring and mattress back safely on it. I was quite pleased with myself!
I crawled back in bed and noticed no more squeaks. If I ever hear that bed squeak again, I'll know the frame has loosened up and will fix the problem before it becomes a problem.
Last night I got up to pee and, when I went back to bed, the frame spread out and the box spring was in serious danger of falling to the floor. I'm thankful this happened when I wasn't laying down or I bet something would have broken, either me or the bed!
And so I had a choice...either go sleep on the sofa or raise the mattress and box spring to see what had happened to the bed frame. I was a little worried because I'd already hurt my arm moving the sofa a few weeks ago and didn't want to cause any more harm to myself but I was curious. The first thing I did was to drag the mattress off and prop it up against the wall. This trailer bedroom is only about 8' x 8' so there's not much room to maneuver. Next I lifted the end of the box spring up just enough to see that the bed frame had separated in the center where it should have been locked in place.
My only option to draw it back in and screw it in place was to lay the heavy box spring on my head so that my hands were free. Very difficult and uncomfortable but I was determined. It took really only a few minutes to accomplish this because I also had to draw the frame in the perfect amount, not too wide or too narrow, so that the box spring would sit perfectly on it. I did it! And, after tightening the screw that holds the frame tightly in place, I managed to get the box spring and mattress back safely on it. I was quite pleased with myself!
I crawled back in bed and noticed no more squeaks. If I ever hear that bed squeak again, I'll know the frame has loosened up and will fix the problem before it becomes a problem.
Monday, March 07, 2016
Today's List
The biggest chore I had to do today was to have my shower and wash my hair. I love easy days like this because it leaves a whole lot of time for me to play...not sure what I'll play at today, though.
I can't go anywhere until the bug man comes and I can tell him about the carpenter ants living in or near my trailer. I rarely see one but they were in full force behind the paneling when it was removed so I have to get the bug man to deal with that.
Carol and I will be going out for lunch after he sprays. I just wonder why his monthly spraying didn't kill all those ants off, though, but maybe it takes something different to get rid of them. George comes once a month year round and sprays both inside my trailer and outside. The cost is $16 and will never go higher because his policy is to always charge what he first charged. That means that there are people here in the park who pay less or more than I do. He's kind of an oddball but he's honest and reliable so I consider myself lucky to have him.
It's getting near the end of my Florida winter and there are lots of fun times happening this month. Matt and Kellie arrive on Saturday and will be spending Sunday night and Monday with me. Then I'll go over to Faye and Marilee's on the 19th for a few days, bringing Faye back with me until the 26th when we head back to Shelley's to go to a baseball game. I think Kim, Kyran, and Tammy will be there, too.
The big "cousins" party is on April 2nd when Cindy and Don arrive. Val comes in some time before that. Party night is for all the family and I'll have Nicole drive me and my car home for me. Sam can drive his car...they both live in Orlando so it's not too much out of their way.
Cindy, Don, and I head back to Canada on the 7th or 8th and I'm expecting we'll just need the one overnight to get home. I'm ready to be home and have been a little homesick all winter.
This has been an eventful winter in many ways. Shelley and John took over my lot rent and I did a major $1200 repair job to the tipouts...repaired water damage and put in new windows. Shelley and John are still in the midst of a huge construction job at their house which we're all hoping will be done by the time the cousins arrive. In a way, our lives have been kind of upside down most of the winter but these things had to be done.
Anyway, today is an easy and restful one. Now I'll go and watch some T.V. while I wait for the bug man!
I can't go anywhere until the bug man comes and I can tell him about the carpenter ants living in or near my trailer. I rarely see one but they were in full force behind the paneling when it was removed so I have to get the bug man to deal with that.
Carol and I will be going out for lunch after he sprays. I just wonder why his monthly spraying didn't kill all those ants off, though, but maybe it takes something different to get rid of them. George comes once a month year round and sprays both inside my trailer and outside. The cost is $16 and will never go higher because his policy is to always charge what he first charged. That means that there are people here in the park who pay less or more than I do. He's kind of an oddball but he's honest and reliable so I consider myself lucky to have him.
It's getting near the end of my Florida winter and there are lots of fun times happening this month. Matt and Kellie arrive on Saturday and will be spending Sunday night and Monday with me. Then I'll go over to Faye and Marilee's on the 19th for a few days, bringing Faye back with me until the 26th when we head back to Shelley's to go to a baseball game. I think Kim, Kyran, and Tammy will be there, too.
The big "cousins" party is on April 2nd when Cindy and Don arrive. Val comes in some time before that. Party night is for all the family and I'll have Nicole drive me and my car home for me. Sam can drive his car...they both live in Orlando so it's not too much out of their way.
Cindy, Don, and I head back to Canada on the 7th or 8th and I'm expecting we'll just need the one overnight to get home. I'm ready to be home and have been a little homesick all winter.
This has been an eventful winter in many ways. Shelley and John took over my lot rent and I did a major $1200 repair job to the tipouts...repaired water damage and put in new windows. Shelley and John are still in the midst of a huge construction job at their house which we're all hoping will be done by the time the cousins arrive. In a way, our lives have been kind of upside down most of the winter but these things had to be done.
Anyway, today is an easy and restful one. Now I'll go and watch some T.V. while I wait for the bug man!
Wednesday, March 02, 2016
Donald Trump
I consider myself a guest here in the United States and it isn't my right to publicly discuss my personal views of their politicians. If I disagree with an American's choices, I keep it to myself but I've been biting my tongue a long time about Donald Trump and I think it might be okay to air my views on this blog.
He scares the crap out of me.
I sort of understand his appeal to the people because many are fed up with what they see as unfair laws in their country. They're tired of paying taxes to support illegal aliens for one thing and that's understandable. Donald Trump would show them no mercy and toss them all out of the country. Americans want big changes in their country and Donald Trump is the bully that will effect those changes. He's also the bully that will destroy their country if by some horrendous chance he becomes president of the United States.
Donald Trump is an egotist beyond all reason. There is no way a man like him could ever consider the rights and needs of another person let alone a whole country full of people. He is such an egotist that I believe he entered the race for president as a colossal joke...even he never thought the people would elect him. What a shock to see how many very good Americans have responded well to him out of fear and desperation.
I read Facebook every morning and it hurts my heart to see how many truly decent Americans are on his bandwagon, believing he will serve them best as their president. It's frightening. For one thing, the president of any country should have a shred of humanity that would prevent them from harming their countrymen. Trump has never shown himself to be anything but an egotistical bully. The thought of him in control of the great United States is horrifying.
No, it's not my place to open my big mouth and suggest to my good friends here that they've chosen a demon to support. I can only hope that Trump doesn't win.
He scares the crap out of me.
I sort of understand his appeal to the people because many are fed up with what they see as unfair laws in their country. They're tired of paying taxes to support illegal aliens for one thing and that's understandable. Donald Trump would show them no mercy and toss them all out of the country. Americans want big changes in their country and Donald Trump is the bully that will effect those changes. He's also the bully that will destroy their country if by some horrendous chance he becomes president of the United States.
Donald Trump is an egotist beyond all reason. There is no way a man like him could ever consider the rights and needs of another person let alone a whole country full of people. He is such an egotist that I believe he entered the race for president as a colossal joke...even he never thought the people would elect him. What a shock to see how many very good Americans have responded well to him out of fear and desperation.
I read Facebook every morning and it hurts my heart to see how many truly decent Americans are on his bandwagon, believing he will serve them best as their president. It's frightening. For one thing, the president of any country should have a shred of humanity that would prevent them from harming their countrymen. Trump has never shown himself to be anything but an egotistical bully. The thought of him in control of the great United States is horrifying.
No, it's not my place to open my big mouth and suggest to my good friends here that they've chosen a demon to support. I can only hope that Trump doesn't win.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Nicole
Nicole is a fairy child/woman, beautiful of face, form, and personality. She looks so much like her mother, Shelley, did at this age and, surprising to me, has begun to even sound like her.
When I was writing about Faye, Marilee, and me going to Jake's rowing races, I forgot to mention how Nicole had to help us to sit on the grass, digging in her heels to gently lower our old bodies so we wouldn't crash like aged timber on the ground. We sat right in front of the lake, a marshy and reedy wetland a few feet in front of us and I began to picture the moment that Nicole would be hauling us back up to our feet. I could just see me rising up with momentum that would toss us both into the water...I tend to worry about everything...so, when it was time to get up, I made sure I was turned in a way that wouldn't happen. Sweet Nicole took such good care of her Gramma and Aunties!
All of my grandchildren are completely comfortable dealing with their older relatives because they've been brought up to have close ties with us. We're an integral part of their lives and that's the way all families should be.
How lucky we are.
When I was writing about Faye, Marilee, and me going to Jake's rowing races, I forgot to mention how Nicole had to help us to sit on the grass, digging in her heels to gently lower our old bodies so we wouldn't crash like aged timber on the ground. We sat right in front of the lake, a marshy and reedy wetland a few feet in front of us and I began to picture the moment that Nicole would be hauling us back up to our feet. I could just see me rising up with momentum that would toss us both into the water...I tend to worry about everything...so, when it was time to get up, I made sure I was turned in a way that wouldn't happen. Sweet Nicole took such good care of her Gramma and Aunties!
All of my grandchildren are completely comfortable dealing with their older relatives because they've been brought up to have close ties with us. We're an integral part of their lives and that's the way all families should be.
How lucky we are.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Sisters-In-Law
I've been blessed with some pretty fantastic in-laws, some I love like my own blood relatives. Faye and Marilee are 2 of the best sisters-in-law that anyone could ask for and they love me enough to leave their gorgeous, large rental in Largo to stay in my tiny little trailer for a few days.
We've had a few adventures while they've been here... housewarming at Sam's and Nicole's, a bit of shopping, watching Jake in a rowing race, enjoying Canada Day dinner and entertainment, etc. We're going to the flea market today and then meeting some more in-laws (Faye's) for dinner at Mannie's.
I hate to see them leave tomorrow but I'll go over to stay with them in 2 weeks. They've found a couple of interesting Newfoundland bars and I want to go there with them.
Faye just took over a condo apartment at home after selling her house and her kids will have it all painted and a bit furnished for her when she gets home. She's feeling guilty about them having to do this but they love their mother fiercely and will do whatever they can to make her life a good one. I can't wait to get home and furniture shop with her.
Right now Faye and Marilee are out for a morning walk but I prefer to sit here and play on the computer. I accept that I'm too lazy to go walking and my diet is not great...BUT...it's also true that I'm too old to die young so I plan to do just what makes me happy. Playing on the computer makes me happier than a walk in the park.
Anyway, for those of us who have in-laws that became good friends, we are blessed to the max.
We've had a few adventures while they've been here... housewarming at Sam's and Nicole's, a bit of shopping, watching Jake in a rowing race, enjoying Canada Day dinner and entertainment, etc. We're going to the flea market today and then meeting some more in-laws (Faye's) for dinner at Mannie's.
I hate to see them leave tomorrow but I'll go over to stay with them in 2 weeks. They've found a couple of interesting Newfoundland bars and I want to go there with them.
Faye just took over a condo apartment at home after selling her house and her kids will have it all painted and a bit furnished for her when she gets home. She's feeling guilty about them having to do this but they love their mother fiercely and will do whatever they can to make her life a good one. I can't wait to get home and furniture shop with her.
Right now Faye and Marilee are out for a morning walk but I prefer to sit here and play on the computer. I accept that I'm too lazy to go walking and my diet is not great...BUT...it's also true that I'm too old to die young so I plan to do just what makes me happy. Playing on the computer makes me happier than a walk in the park.
Anyway, for those of us who have in-laws that became good friends, we are blessed to the max.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Done and Neat
Kevin removed the upper part of the desk which I think looks much airier now. He also suggested hanging both blinds at the same height which gives the illusion of 2 large windows instead of 1 large and 1 small. I like this very much.
I'm also not going to bring the desk chair back in. I'll use one of the kitchen chairs or maybe buy a new desk chair next year.
I'm very happy with the repair. It feels good knowing (hoping) that there will be no more water damage for a long, long time.
The Mess of Construction
This was the way my poor little trailer looked while Kevin and Paul were replacing the 2 windows and repairing one wall and floor. I'm not crazy about having the one tipout floor raised like this but Kevin was afraid to remove too much of the tipout to repair it and this was his choice. I can live with it! The most important thing was putting in new windows to prevent more water damage.
Saturday, February 13, 2016
Elvis and Me
This is how it went. Carol went over at 2 P.M. to put our name tags on a table...we were told we couldn't do it until then. Funny but there was hardly a table left when Carol got there at 1:55! We squawked a bit about that but we did get a table near the front and that's really all that matters.
Dinner was to be served at 5 P.M. so I left the trailer a little past 4:30 only to see a long, long lineup at the front door of the clubhouse. Apparently we wouldn't be allowed in until some unspecified time. I really hate that this practice is making a comeback where we seniors have to line up in all kinds of weather instead of just going inside to our already designated tables and being able to socialize until dinner. I decided that I won't be attending too many more dinners if this is the case.
Anyway, the doors opened around 4:45 and we went inside and each lady was given a lovely long stemmed rose. The hall was nicely decorated and there was a huge layout of salad and dressing where we could help ourselves. Nicely decorated cupcakes were at each table, too. My table mates, Shirley, Buddy, Carol, and Lloyd arrived soon after and we settled in...pretty cramped but not too bad.
At 5 P.M. dinner was served and, man, was it one excellent dinner. Baked potato, corn, and more darned sliced roast beef for each person that I've ever seen. It was all hot and very tasty! Dessert was the cupcakes but also a chocolate fountain with fresh fruit was offered. I ate some of the cupcake but had no more tummy room for even one chocolate covered strawberry.
Then Elvis made his appearance. OMG, the women yelled and cheered and the men kind of did, too. We didn't know what to expect but this guy (never found out his real name) was probably late 30's and good looking. He had a terrific voice even though he didn't sound exactly like Elvis. We didn't care. He sang all the old Elvis songs and we sang right along with him. He sauntered around the room and loved up on a lot of the ladies, too. Some of the ladies surprised us. Molly even gave his butt a little feel. I was going to offer him my trailer key but lost my nerve.
The highlight for me was when Judy took a scarf he'd given her (I got a kiss and a hug but no scarf), ran across the room where he was singing and wrapped the scarf around his waist, dragging him back to where we were sitting. I stood up and told him to sit down...he did. I sat on his lap and he sang to me. Oh, my! I was nice, though, and gave Carol a chance to sit on his lap before he moved on.
We all had so much fun tonight and I think he did, too. It seemed like everyone was singing and laughing the whole evening. Molly even tossed him a large pair of ladies undies (hope they were new). When the show was over, Laverne came over to me and gave me the scarf that Elvis had given her. She knows how much I love Elvis and she said she wanted me to have it because she's my friend. How precious is that?
If all our entertainment at the clubhouse was this much fun and if we always had the kind of park manager we do now, I'd never want to leave this place. I feel bad for the residents who chose not to come tonight or who missed out on a ticket. I hope we are lucky enough to have more evenings like this. It was special!
Friday, February 05, 2016
Goodbye, Friend
The Florida park where I winter will probably always hold amazing memories for me, and today will be one of them.
One of our winter residents passed away and his memorial service was held today. Gary was terribly ill with metastasized cancer and knew he had little time left but he told his wife, Jan, that he wanted to come to Florida and end his days here. This brought the memory back to me of Dennis' final days when we managed one week in March, 2005, to be at the park here before his health failed rapidly and we had to hurry home. His comment to me was that at least he'd gotten to see Florida one last time. It wasn't "Florida" that he meant but the good people in our park that had become almost like family to us.
When Gary passed away we all gave our support to Jan... many of us have lost our spouses and understand what she is experiencing. We're old enough to have attended many funerals and, even though there aren't any words to really help, a comforting hug or just someone to sit with for a while is a blessing to someone who has just lost a loved one.
Jan has shown a strong exterior since Gary passed but we're not fooled. She and Gary had been married 43 years and your mate becomes almost part of your skin when you've been together that long. If they die before you, it's akin to an amputation which requires extensive healing time.
Jan's son and daughter made the trip here for the memorial service and I'm sure they were as amazed as I was how many of our park residents attended it. Our clubhouse was packed and many spoke out about how Gary had impacted their lives. I am Jan's friend but never got to know Gary very well but I heard from so many what a kind and helpful man he was to everyone. One of the stories told was how, while he was too ill to physically help one of our neighbors, he offered to go to their home and explain what needed to be done. Helpful to the end!
When Gary knew his time was near, he told Jan he wanted 2 of his favorite songs sung at his memorial. He was a religious man so I wasn't surprised at his first choice which was beautifully sung by our park manager, Sandy. I'm not a religious lady so I don't know the name of the song. His second choice was understandable, too. "Country Roads" extols the beauty of his home state of West Virginia and that was the song that did me in. Sandy and 3 others stood at the microphone and sang it more beautifully than I've ever heard before and then some of our park residents joined in. I hope Gary heard it wherever he is on his journey. I felt such a love and pride for these good people who have all traveled from different states and provinces to settle in this park.
There is a time to live and a time to die so let's live while we can and, when our lives come to an end, hope we're remembered with love.
One of our winter residents passed away and his memorial service was held today. Gary was terribly ill with metastasized cancer and knew he had little time left but he told his wife, Jan, that he wanted to come to Florida and end his days here. This brought the memory back to me of Dennis' final days when we managed one week in March, 2005, to be at the park here before his health failed rapidly and we had to hurry home. His comment to me was that at least he'd gotten to see Florida one last time. It wasn't "Florida" that he meant but the good people in our park that had become almost like family to us.
When Gary passed away we all gave our support to Jan... many of us have lost our spouses and understand what she is experiencing. We're old enough to have attended many funerals and, even though there aren't any words to really help, a comforting hug or just someone to sit with for a while is a blessing to someone who has just lost a loved one.
Jan has shown a strong exterior since Gary passed but we're not fooled. She and Gary had been married 43 years and your mate becomes almost part of your skin when you've been together that long. If they die before you, it's akin to an amputation which requires extensive healing time.
Jan's son and daughter made the trip here for the memorial service and I'm sure they were as amazed as I was how many of our park residents attended it. Our clubhouse was packed and many spoke out about how Gary had impacted their lives. I am Jan's friend but never got to know Gary very well but I heard from so many what a kind and helpful man he was to everyone. One of the stories told was how, while he was too ill to physically help one of our neighbors, he offered to go to their home and explain what needed to be done. Helpful to the end!
When Gary knew his time was near, he told Jan he wanted 2 of his favorite songs sung at his memorial. He was a religious man so I wasn't surprised at his first choice which was beautifully sung by our park manager, Sandy. I'm not a religious lady so I don't know the name of the song. His second choice was understandable, too. "Country Roads" extols the beauty of his home state of West Virginia and that was the song that did me in. Sandy and 3 others stood at the microphone and sang it more beautifully than I've ever heard before and then some of our park residents joined in. I hope Gary heard it wherever he is on his journey. I felt such a love and pride for these good people who have all traveled from different states and provinces to settle in this park.
There is a time to live and a time to die so let's live while we can and, when our lives come to an end, hope we're remembered with love.
Saturday, January 30, 2016
I Didn't Know It Was So Bad
The Canadian dollar is really bad now against the American dollar but I didn't realize just how bad until last night. One of my friends here stopped me as I was going in to play Bingo and said that she had a pile of Canadian coins that she wanted to give me because she had no use for them.
Can it be that our money is so worthless it's being given away??
I know banks won't take foreign coins but I felt a little deflated about the value of our Canadian money. Just how bad is it when no-one wants it??
Can it be that our money is so worthless it's being given away??
I know banks won't take foreign coins but I felt a little deflated about the value of our Canadian money. Just how bad is it when no-one wants it??
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
I Want a Cat
There are very few moments in my life when I'm lonely but I'd have none if I had a cat. Pulling up those cute little posts from the internet about cats is what is pushing me to get one, too. Cats are amazing creatures, so different from dogs. It's hard to find an arrogant dog but all cats have that arrogant, aristocratic, and curious personality that makes them so much fun to have around.
First I have to make sure I'm not still allergic to them and then I have to learn to accept that any cat I get might like sitting on top of the kitchen cupboards. I don't like animals being anywhere except the floor and you can train a dog to abide by the rules but not a cat.
Another good reason for getting a cat instead of a dog is that they use a litter box and don't have to be taken outside to do their business.
It looks like I might get a cat...soon. I love them all but I think a Burmese cat is beautiful and doesn't shed like other cats. Now I've gotten to the point where I'm choosing a breed. Seems as though I've made headway.
Update: I changed my mind again.
First I have to make sure I'm not still allergic to them and then I have to learn to accept that any cat I get might like sitting on top of the kitchen cupboards. I don't like animals being anywhere except the floor and you can train a dog to abide by the rules but not a cat.
Another good reason for getting a cat instead of a dog is that they use a litter box and don't have to be taken outside to do their business.
It looks like I might get a cat...soon. I love them all but I think a Burmese cat is beautiful and doesn't shed like other cats. Now I've gotten to the point where I'm choosing a breed. Seems as though I've made headway.
Update: I changed my mind again.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Strong Winds
When strong winds blow in Canada, I don't worry but I do when that happens in Florida because I've seen too many pictures of trailers here flattened by tornadoes and hurricanes.
I've never been too close to a tornado but I have been here when one went through an area not too far away causing both destruction and death. It's a frightening sight to see the aftermath of a tornado. I remember seeing roofs blown off brick buildings, 50" light standards bent and almost flattened to the ground, and trailers left looking like a pile of scrap.
In this park of maybe 300 people, there is only one relatively safe place to go during a tornado and that's the billiard room but it's not very big, definitely not big enough to hold even 100 people. I've only once since 1998 felt threatened enough by the weather to hike my little self over there. Luckily, our park suffered no damage that day.
Today the winds are especially strong and I'll take care to watch the weather report.
I've never been too close to a tornado but I have been here when one went through an area not too far away causing both destruction and death. It's a frightening sight to see the aftermath of a tornado. I remember seeing roofs blown off brick buildings, 50" light standards bent and almost flattened to the ground, and trailers left looking like a pile of scrap.
In this park of maybe 300 people, there is only one relatively safe place to go during a tornado and that's the billiard room but it's not very big, definitely not big enough to hold even 100 people. I've only once since 1998 felt threatened enough by the weather to hike my little self over there. Luckily, our park suffered no damage that day.
Today the winds are especially strong and I'll take care to watch the weather report.
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