I believe this and so should everyone. There is no greater gift on earth than good family and I got to spend most of the Christmas holidays with most of them.
Christmas had come close to being meaningless to me before this year. I've loved being able to send most of the last 20 Christmas seasons with the wonderful people at 3W but it can't compare with spending it with family, especially when there are young children also there.
It really wore me out this year with family festivities but it was like balm to the soul knowing I was where I was supposed to be at Christmas and that was with my family. The only flaw was that Shelley, John, Lisette, Danny, Nicole, Sam, and Jake weren't able to be with us. Then my life would really have been Christmas complete! Hopefully we'll all be together next year.
Well, it's over and now the finish packing for Florida begins. My winter will be spent mainly with friends but I will be able to see Shelley more often before coming back home in the spring. I know how lucky I am that almost all of my family lives close to me because so many families have all the children move thousands of miles away from home and they're not able to see them often. There are also disfunctional families where some relatives can't get along with each other even for Christmas dinner. I am forever thankful that isn't the case in my family.
I'm going to take down the tree (which has been such a lovely reminder every day that Christmas is a wondrous season) and vacuum. Big jobs for the day! I have loved every moment spent here this past year but I'm very happy to be spending 3 months of winter in Florida, too. It's the best of both worlds and it will be a little sad for me when Florida becomes only a memory but I've had a good run and I'm grateful for that.
Every time I'm around my girls, my grandchildren, and my grandchildren, I think in amazement how Dennis and I did well with our lives. Every one of our progeny is a decent human being despite some of our failings. We did good, Dennis!
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Sunday, December 23, 2018
In Just 7 Days
In just 7 days, I'll be basking in the Florida sunshine. Between then and now will be a whole bunch of family get-togethers to celebrate the Christmas season. Of course, presents will be passed around but they aren't what is important. The Christmas season is a reminder of so much that is good in us, the giving and the gathering of family and friends, that this is a very special time of the year. I don't think there is a more important part of the year at all!
This year I'll spend it with all of my family except Lisette, Nicole and Jake. Shelley and John won't be here for Christmas day but they will be here for Cindy and Don's family dinner on the 28th. I have a great hope that one Christmas we can all be together but that might be impossible. The kids get married and form Christmas traditions of their own which include their new in-laws. It's just a fact of life.
Anyway, we're having a grey Christmas this year (no or little snow) but that won't matter because I'll be with family. My plan is to take down the tree on Wednesday and do a thorough house cleaning so my apartment will be nice and tidy for Kim to stay while her kitchen is being remodeled. Thursday and Friday will see the car fully packed for Florida, a family dinner thanks to Cindy and Don, and then Faye, Kellie, and I drive south on Saturday.
Life is good!
This year I'll spend it with all of my family except Lisette, Nicole and Jake. Shelley and John won't be here for Christmas day but they will be here for Cindy and Don's family dinner on the 28th. I have a great hope that one Christmas we can all be together but that might be impossible. The kids get married and form Christmas traditions of their own which include their new in-laws. It's just a fact of life.
Anyway, we're having a grey Christmas this year (no or little snow) but that won't matter because I'll be with family. My plan is to take down the tree on Wednesday and do a thorough house cleaning so my apartment will be nice and tidy for Kim to stay while her kitchen is being remodeled. Thursday and Friday will see the car fully packed for Florida, a family dinner thanks to Cindy and Don, and then Faye, Kellie, and I drive south on Saturday.
Life is good!
Friday, December 21, 2018
All In Perspective
We all seem to be complaining about something on Facebook but my niece, Tammy, posted some very interesting information the other day. It showed that it costs each of us Canadians about $6 per year to support the refugees to our country. I wonder how many Canadians would be upset about the refugees if they knew how little they're costing us. I know there are more ramifications than the cost, such as cultural differences, but we sure can't complain about $6 per year! I'm not naive enough to believe it's only $6, either, but I'll bet it's not much more.
Her post also showed that the natives cost each and every one of us over $200 per year and, when I questioned that, my grandson, Jake, informed me it's because there are many more natives than refugees. I should think before I type.
We really do need to see posts like this every so often so that we can put our worries to rest. Canada is a huge country with plenty of room for more citizens. I've always maintained that the vast majority of refugees or immigrants are good people who want to work hard to support their families in a safer country than where they were born. Too many people forget that our own ancestors were immigrants, too.
Trudeau has unnecessarily upset Canadians by allowing just too many refugees into the country at one time and we've seen what that has done to European countries. Canada needs the immigrants because our birth rate is too low but we can't assimilate too many at once and that is where our complaints should lie.
And then there is the Trump wall. It's going to cost Americans billions of dollars to build the damn thing and it will barely slow down illegal immigrants. I laughed when I heard one resident say a 20' wall can be breached with a 21' ladder and the other day someone forewarned that desperate people could also dig under it to get into the States. There is no doubt that illegals are a problem in the States but there has to be a better solution than a billion dollar wall.
I've also wondered what will happen to all those war torn countries the refugees have escaped from. It looks on the news that so many have been reduced to rubble and unfit for anyone to live. Who is going to rebuild what war has torn down? It's going to be us and our tax dollars and the people who benefit will be business investors because the citizens who escaped will probably not want to go back.
Every time I see those blasted out countries, I wonder how any purpose could be important enough to destroy your own country. I wonder about the citizens who didn't have the wherewithal to escape to a safer country and how devastating their lives have become. I wonder about the beautiful old architecture that has been destroyed with bombs. I wonder about how many people have been killed. What I don't wonder about is why they've arrived at our door asking for shelter.
Her post also showed that the natives cost each and every one of us over $200 per year and, when I questioned that, my grandson, Jake, informed me it's because there are many more natives than refugees. I should think before I type.
We really do need to see posts like this every so often so that we can put our worries to rest. Canada is a huge country with plenty of room for more citizens. I've always maintained that the vast majority of refugees or immigrants are good people who want to work hard to support their families in a safer country than where they were born. Too many people forget that our own ancestors were immigrants, too.
Trudeau has unnecessarily upset Canadians by allowing just too many refugees into the country at one time and we've seen what that has done to European countries. Canada needs the immigrants because our birth rate is too low but we can't assimilate too many at once and that is where our complaints should lie.
And then there is the Trump wall. It's going to cost Americans billions of dollars to build the damn thing and it will barely slow down illegal immigrants. I laughed when I heard one resident say a 20' wall can be breached with a 21' ladder and the other day someone forewarned that desperate people could also dig under it to get into the States. There is no doubt that illegals are a problem in the States but there has to be a better solution than a billion dollar wall.
I've also wondered what will happen to all those war torn countries the refugees have escaped from. It looks on the news that so many have been reduced to rubble and unfit for anyone to live. Who is going to rebuild what war has torn down? It's going to be us and our tax dollars and the people who benefit will be business investors because the citizens who escaped will probably not want to go back.
Every time I see those blasted out countries, I wonder how any purpose could be important enough to destroy your own country. I wonder about the citizens who didn't have the wherewithal to escape to a safer country and how devastating their lives have become. I wonder about the beautiful old architecture that has been destroyed with bombs. I wonder about how many people have been killed. What I don't wonder about is why they've arrived at our door asking for shelter.
Thursday, December 20, 2018
Time Sure Flies
Time does go terribly fast but it still surprises me a lot. It seems like just yesterday I was moaning about the grey days of November and here it is almost time to leave for Florida on the 29th. The older I get, the more I'm not sure I like this fast moving time, though, because it means I'm getting closer to my great reward. LOL!
Every time I think about never going to Florida again, it saddens me because I have so many nice friends at the park that I don't want to lose contact with. It's a place where people come from all over Canada and the States to meet and become friends, some for life. Probably none of us would ever have met if our paths hadn't taken us to 3W.
It's now only 4 days to Christmas eve, 5 days to Christmas day, and then a frenzy of cleaning up, packing up, and saying our goodbyes until April. Some of my 3W buddies are already welcoming me back by messages or phone calls and that makes me so happy. I am so looking forward to the card games, get-togethers, lunches, gambling, and coffee mornings. It's a darned good life and we're all very lucky to be able to live the way we do. I have a lot of people to thank for this nice life but mostly Dennis. I know where my good fortune comes from.
Dennis has been gone for 13 years and 4 months. It saddens me that he didn't have more time to enjoy the fruit of his labors but it raises my spirits to see how strong I've become over the years on my own. Dennis worked hard all of his life to provide for his family and I still feel a little guilt because I'm enjoying these golden years much longer than he was able to do.
Today I pack the big suitcase and large garment bag in the trunk of the car because they're done. I still have a small suitcase and a few clothes I'll need for the 3-4 days we're at Shelley's and they'll go into the car on the 28th. It will be here before we know it. I'm very happy that Kellie is driving Faye and I down to Florida, partly because it gives me some personal time with her. I love Kellie dearly...she's like another granddaughter.
Well, I'm about as organized as I can be but I bet I still forget something but as long as I have my laptop and my pills, anything else I forget can be bought in Florida.
Life is good.
Every time I think about never going to Florida again, it saddens me because I have so many nice friends at the park that I don't want to lose contact with. It's a place where people come from all over Canada and the States to meet and become friends, some for life. Probably none of us would ever have met if our paths hadn't taken us to 3W.
It's now only 4 days to Christmas eve, 5 days to Christmas day, and then a frenzy of cleaning up, packing up, and saying our goodbyes until April. Some of my 3W buddies are already welcoming me back by messages or phone calls and that makes me so happy. I am so looking forward to the card games, get-togethers, lunches, gambling, and coffee mornings. It's a darned good life and we're all very lucky to be able to live the way we do. I have a lot of people to thank for this nice life but mostly Dennis. I know where my good fortune comes from.
Dennis has been gone for 13 years and 4 months. It saddens me that he didn't have more time to enjoy the fruit of his labors but it raises my spirits to see how strong I've become over the years on my own. Dennis worked hard all of his life to provide for his family and I still feel a little guilt because I'm enjoying these golden years much longer than he was able to do.
Today I pack the big suitcase and large garment bag in the trunk of the car because they're done. I still have a small suitcase and a few clothes I'll need for the 3-4 days we're at Shelley's and they'll go into the car on the 28th. It will be here before we know it. I'm very happy that Kellie is driving Faye and I down to Florida, partly because it gives me some personal time with her. I love Kellie dearly...she's like another granddaughter.
Well, I'm about as organized as I can be but I bet I still forget something but as long as I have my laptop and my pills, anything else I forget can be bought in Florida.
Life is good.
Tuesday, December 18, 2018
Widow's/Widower's First Christmas
I remember hearing long ago that the hardest times for a widow or widower were the first holidays of the year following the death of their loved one. I believe that Christmas has to be the hardest one of all, though.
It's such a joyous time for families. We decorate, have family get-togethers, friend get-gethers, special Christmas dinners, etc. When you're used to celebrating so many facets of the holiday with your spouse, the absence of them can carry a heavy weight on your shoulders. Other holidays, even birthdays, are over in 1 day but not Christmas.
We have a few recent widows in the park this year and I know how difficult this season will be for them. I read all the suggestions on Facebook to help them survive it and the best of all tell them to stay in constant touch with family and friends and not to isolate themselves. Grief is such a debilitating emotion and often requires the person to stay alone occasionally just to deal with it. Staying alone too much is not good for the soul, though.
People will tell you that your lost loved one wouldn't want you to be unhappy and that's probably true but no-one can erase all of the grieving for what is lost. We all handle it in our own way and in our own time. Some loss is greater than others and some easier or more difficult to tolerate.
My first Christmas after Dennis passed away was strange for me because our marriage had not been a happy one, especially in the latter years. I definitely felt a sense of loss and hated what he'd had to go through but I'd long begun building my own life so there didn't seem to be a huge disruption being on my own. Or, so I thought.
You can't live so many years with a partner and not be deeply affected by their passing. If nothing else, memories will haunt you for the rest of your life. Mine still do after 13 1/2 years, the good and the bad.
That first year I cried easily, sometimes out of nowhere or over 1 word spoken that seemed to hit a nerve with me. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for those widows or widowers who lost their soul mates. My grief was more for what could have been. Maybe that's the worst kind of loss.
Anyway, I know that keeping busy, interacting with family and friends, and knowing in your heart that your life will go on is the only way to ease your way through these tough days. Accept the grief but don't allow yourself to drown in it. Time may not heal all your wounds but the scar tissue will make you forget them for a while.
It's such a joyous time for families. We decorate, have family get-togethers, friend get-gethers, special Christmas dinners, etc. When you're used to celebrating so many facets of the holiday with your spouse, the absence of them can carry a heavy weight on your shoulders. Other holidays, even birthdays, are over in 1 day but not Christmas.
We have a few recent widows in the park this year and I know how difficult this season will be for them. I read all the suggestions on Facebook to help them survive it and the best of all tell them to stay in constant touch with family and friends and not to isolate themselves. Grief is such a debilitating emotion and often requires the person to stay alone occasionally just to deal with it. Staying alone too much is not good for the soul, though.
People will tell you that your lost loved one wouldn't want you to be unhappy and that's probably true but no-one can erase all of the grieving for what is lost. We all handle it in our own way and in our own time. Some loss is greater than others and some easier or more difficult to tolerate.
My first Christmas after Dennis passed away was strange for me because our marriage had not been a happy one, especially in the latter years. I definitely felt a sense of loss and hated what he'd had to go through but I'd long begun building my own life so there didn't seem to be a huge disruption being on my own. Or, so I thought.
You can't live so many years with a partner and not be deeply affected by their passing. If nothing else, memories will haunt you for the rest of your life. Mine still do after 13 1/2 years, the good and the bad.
That first year I cried easily, sometimes out of nowhere or over 1 word spoken that seemed to hit a nerve with me. I can't even imagine how hard it must be for those widows or widowers who lost their soul mates. My grief was more for what could have been. Maybe that's the worst kind of loss.
Anyway, I know that keeping busy, interacting with family and friends, and knowing in your heart that your life will go on is the only way to ease your way through these tough days. Accept the grief but don't allow yourself to drown in it. Time may not heal all your wounds but the scar tissue will make you forget them for a while.
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Gender Neutral Santa
I know things have changed drastically in our society but I wonder exactly when it became a crime to identify as the sex you were born into. Why are some people trying to erase "male" and "female" from our society? And, more important, why are the majority allowing it to happen? Are we really that weak that we'll jump onto any new bandwagon to appear new age? I can just see the future where gender neutral will be a joke because it cannot succeed. Nature has seen to that.
Now, Santa is a male fictitious character that has been part of our culture for maybe 200 years...I could be wrong about the length of time but it's a long, long time! Somebody has decided he should now be a female or gender neutral. While this doesn't surprise me that some idiot has come up with such a stupid idea, the polls say 27% of the population agree. What the hell is wrong with people???
Just as you can never make a man into a real woman (or woman into man) no matter how much surgery you perform, we human beings are almost always born sex assigned by nature. And you know what happens when you fiddle around with nature. Either you lose or you cause a catastrophe.
Now, Santa is a male fictitious character that has been part of our culture for maybe 200 years...I could be wrong about the length of time but it's a long, long time! Somebody has decided he should now be a female or gender neutral. While this doesn't surprise me that some idiot has come up with such a stupid idea, the polls say 27% of the population agree. What the hell is wrong with people???
Just as you can never make a man into a real woman (or woman into man) no matter how much surgery you perform, we human beings are almost always born sex assigned by nature. And you know what happens when you fiddle around with nature. Either you lose or you cause a catastrophe.
Saturday, December 15, 2018
Oh, Christmas Tree
I've bothered less and less every year for the past 20 years decorating for Christmas until I did next to nothing, just a wreath on the door, but the tree means a lot more to me than I had thought it would.
It feels like Christmas.
What's Been Happening
Mary is in town and staying with Faye this time so I went over to have lunch and then tea with them yesterday. We really do laugh a lot when we're together and it's heartwarming to have such good friends...and ones I've had for over 50 years, too! It makes me happy to see that my daughters are collecting and keeping good female friends because they really are treasures in a woman's life.
As we were having our tea yesterday, Faye gave us a bit more information about her trip to E.R. last week. Thank heavens it was only reflux and not the heart attack she was afraid she was having but it did require an ambulance ride to the hospital which is right across the road from her condo. What I didn't know or even think to ask about was how she got back home. I assumed she called one of her children and they brought her home and stayed a while to make sure she was okay but, no, that's not what she did. She ignored the medical staff and walked home herself. I know it was just across the street but I didn't expect that. I should have. Faye, at 83, has a lot more confidence in herself than most and she doesn't think it's necessary to bother her children just because she's hurting enough to call 911 in the first place.
I do have some amazing friends and relatives.
As we were having our tea yesterday, Faye gave us a bit more information about her trip to E.R. last week. Thank heavens it was only reflux and not the heart attack she was afraid she was having but it did require an ambulance ride to the hospital which is right across the road from her condo. What I didn't know or even think to ask about was how she got back home. I assumed she called one of her children and they brought her home and stayed a while to make sure she was okay but, no, that's not what she did. She ignored the medical staff and walked home herself. I know it was just across the street but I didn't expect that. I should have. Faye, at 83, has a lot more confidence in herself than most and she doesn't think it's necessary to bother her children just because she's hurting enough to call 911 in the first place.
I do have some amazing friends and relatives.
Saturday, December 08, 2018
Christmases Past
Not being a true Christian, Christmas holds a different meaning in my heart but it has always been a special time of the year every year of my life. As a child, it meant mainly new toys and a lovely turkey dinner prepared by my grandmother. She'd start making the Christmas cake some time in the fall and it would be ready for Christmas day. One of the things I regret is that I didn't pay too much attention to exactly how she made it because it was the best fruit cake I've ever tasted.
I was married very young (at 17) and had to begin designing my own Christmas rituals but Nan still made her famous Christmas cake and fabulous turkey dinners right up until she passed away. I was 28 years old when she died and the mother of 3 sweet little girls so the yearly ritual was then up to me.
It has always felt that the Christmas tree must be up and decorated by December 1st and we always bought real trees in the old days. I don't think the artificial ones existed until much later so our real trees brought the most beautiful pine smell into the house. Nan gave me a lot of her old bulbs, so fragile that many have broken over the years. I gave the last of them to my own girls when I started going to Florida for the winter and having Christmas down there. I don't know if they have any left now. I just told Kim that I'd let her, Cindy, and Shelley help with decorating when they were little but redo a lot when they went to bed. Their idea of symmetry and mine were not even close.
Dennis and I had very little money for most of our Christmases but we did our best to provide nice presents for the girls. Seeing them happy was our greatest reward. Dennis and I gave each other quite practical gifts, even ended up buying a new T.V. once. I'd advise against doing that. Better a simple loving gift than something practical.
By the time we bought our house, Christmas became a marathon for me. I worked long hours all through December, did all the planning and work for our whole family open house on Christmas Eve, did all the cooking and cleaning on Christmas Day, and then woke up worn out and sick on Boxing Day. I'm not complaining because I loved every moment and wouldn't have given any of it up. In the last few years before we gave all this up and started spending our winters in Florida, I did smarten up and asked each family to bring part of the Christmas dinner so I didn't have to cook everything. I should have done that sooner because no-one minded at all.
Once we started spending Christmas in Florida, I decorated the trailer a bit but never did have anything but a little artificial tree for the table. Then even gave that up. It bothered me a lot but I kept telling myself it wasn't necessary any more.
This year is the first in many that I'm spending Christmas at home and going to Florida after it. I bought a 6 1/2' artificial tree, some decorations from the dollar store, and it sits beautifully right against the balcony doors. It is one of those trees that comes with lights attached and not as full branched as I'd prefer but it soothes my soul, especially to watch it all lit up in the evening. Having a tree makes it more Christmasy for me and makes me smile every time I look at it.
It does remind me of Christmases past when my babies were little and all the joy of Christmas shone in their eyes. It reminds me of what Christmas means...the giving and the happy spirit of being alive. I love the Christmas songs and now the Hallmark Christmas movies on T.V.. I believe that having the tree will make Christmas more special to me than it has become. I believe I need that lovely tree to fill my soul with contentment this Christmas.
Funny how important a Christmas tree is in December. It's the forerunner of the joy and happiness to come on Christmas Day spent with my precious family. It represents all that is good and I won't ever have another Christmas without one.
I was married very young (at 17) and had to begin designing my own Christmas rituals but Nan still made her famous Christmas cake and fabulous turkey dinners right up until she passed away. I was 28 years old when she died and the mother of 3 sweet little girls so the yearly ritual was then up to me.
It has always felt that the Christmas tree must be up and decorated by December 1st and we always bought real trees in the old days. I don't think the artificial ones existed until much later so our real trees brought the most beautiful pine smell into the house. Nan gave me a lot of her old bulbs, so fragile that many have broken over the years. I gave the last of them to my own girls when I started going to Florida for the winter and having Christmas down there. I don't know if they have any left now. I just told Kim that I'd let her, Cindy, and Shelley help with decorating when they were little but redo a lot when they went to bed. Their idea of symmetry and mine were not even close.
Dennis and I had very little money for most of our Christmases but we did our best to provide nice presents for the girls. Seeing them happy was our greatest reward. Dennis and I gave each other quite practical gifts, even ended up buying a new T.V. once. I'd advise against doing that. Better a simple loving gift than something practical.
By the time we bought our house, Christmas became a marathon for me. I worked long hours all through December, did all the planning and work for our whole family open house on Christmas Eve, did all the cooking and cleaning on Christmas Day, and then woke up worn out and sick on Boxing Day. I'm not complaining because I loved every moment and wouldn't have given any of it up. In the last few years before we gave all this up and started spending our winters in Florida, I did smarten up and asked each family to bring part of the Christmas dinner so I didn't have to cook everything. I should have done that sooner because no-one minded at all.
Once we started spending Christmas in Florida, I decorated the trailer a bit but never did have anything but a little artificial tree for the table. Then even gave that up. It bothered me a lot but I kept telling myself it wasn't necessary any more.
This year is the first in many that I'm spending Christmas at home and going to Florida after it. I bought a 6 1/2' artificial tree, some decorations from the dollar store, and it sits beautifully right against the balcony doors. It is one of those trees that comes with lights attached and not as full branched as I'd prefer but it soothes my soul, especially to watch it all lit up in the evening. Having a tree makes it more Christmasy for me and makes me smile every time I look at it.
It does remind me of Christmases past when my babies were little and all the joy of Christmas shone in their eyes. It reminds me of what Christmas means...the giving and the happy spirit of being alive. I love the Christmas songs and now the Hallmark Christmas movies on T.V.. I believe that having the tree will make Christmas more special to me than it has become. I believe I need that lovely tree to fill my soul with contentment this Christmas.
Funny how important a Christmas tree is in December. It's the forerunner of the joy and happiness to come on Christmas Day spent with my precious family. It represents all that is good and I won't ever have another Christmas without one.
Wednesday, December 05, 2018
Hair Cut
I'll bet most women will always remember the bad hair cuts they've had in their lives. I think the worst I ever had was a Shirley Temple curly perm when I was in my 30's. I should have known better than to ever get a perm (but I had a few) because I've got some natural curl in my hair and perms never set right for me, either too curly or part curly and part straight. Anyway, I ignored common sense and got the darned perm which was also cut way too short. I spent the next few months trying to pull my hair longer and straighter. I'm not sure if we had hair conditioner in those days but I don't remember using any to help with the process.
Most women are uncomfortable if they aren't satisfied with their hair. When I see women with straggly, dirty hair I wonder what planet they're from because that just goes against nature! I have grey hair now and feel the same way when I see women my age with dyed black hair. I do know a woman a bit older than me who has only a few grey hairs, though, and her sister was the same way. Good genes.
I'm getting my hair cut today by a very good hairdresser. He does exactly what I tell him to do and he's very cautious about cutting my bangs too short. It's not that he's afraid of me but he certainly has learned what his female clients want and need.
I've let my hair grow a little too long for my liking just because I want it nice for Christmas and my trip to Florida. Timing is important! I often like the hair cut but not the styling so I hope I don't need to come home and redo it. I'm going to a dinner theater with Cindy and Kim tonight (thought it was Cindy and Don) and I'd like my hair to look decent. Fingers crossed.
Most women are uncomfortable if they aren't satisfied with their hair. When I see women with straggly, dirty hair I wonder what planet they're from because that just goes against nature! I have grey hair now and feel the same way when I see women my age with dyed black hair. I do know a woman a bit older than me who has only a few grey hairs, though, and her sister was the same way. Good genes.
I'm getting my hair cut today by a very good hairdresser. He does exactly what I tell him to do and he's very cautious about cutting my bangs too short. It's not that he's afraid of me but he certainly has learned what his female clients want and need.
I've let my hair grow a little too long for my liking just because I want it nice for Christmas and my trip to Florida. Timing is important! I often like the hair cut but not the styling so I hope I don't need to come home and redo it. I'm going to a dinner theater with Cindy and Kim tonight (thought it was Cindy and Don) and I'd like my hair to look decent. Fingers crossed.
Sunday, December 02, 2018
Seasonal Depression
I'm not sure if lack of sunlight is called seasonal depression but it works. Gloomy days, especially if they seem to go on without end, do dampen your spirits just much as a beautiful sunny day lifts them. November has been wicked and I am really anxious to escape to Florida's sunshine but I know that can't go on for too much longer. Age or illness will finally keep me home.
The cold is not a problem. My sweet apartment is nice and warm and I don't have to go out if I don't want to...except for those pain in the butt doctor's appointments. I don't mind being alone and even prefer it at times. But the grey days bring me down, no question.
I've got little chores to accomplish and just realized I do most of them when I get up to pee. It's like I have just enough energy to do about 10 minutes work at a time but, if the sun is shining brightly, that might extend to half an hour. Luckily, I usually clean up any mess as soon as I make it so my apartment is quite easy to keep neat.
I'm wondering how I'll feel in a couple of years when I know I can't escape to Florida? I think I'm coping with the grey days now because I know they'll pretty much end when I'm in Florida for 3 months. So far I've managed to stave off depression but I'm not as happy as I was before November. Maybe I need one of those bright lights you can buy to make you forget how awful it is outside.
The cold is not a problem. My sweet apartment is nice and warm and I don't have to go out if I don't want to...except for those pain in the butt doctor's appointments. I don't mind being alone and even prefer it at times. But the grey days bring me down, no question.
I've got little chores to accomplish and just realized I do most of them when I get up to pee. It's like I have just enough energy to do about 10 minutes work at a time but, if the sun is shining brightly, that might extend to half an hour. Luckily, I usually clean up any mess as soon as I make it so my apartment is quite easy to keep neat.
I'm wondering how I'll feel in a couple of years when I know I can't escape to Florida? I think I'm coping with the grey days now because I know they'll pretty much end when I'm in Florida for 3 months. So far I've managed to stave off depression but I'm not as happy as I was before November. Maybe I need one of those bright lights you can buy to make you forget how awful it is outside.
Friday, November 30, 2018
Just a Thought
What did we do before Facebook? It's a big part of my morning routine and I find it fascinating. I can catch up with what the people I know are doing and thinking and I can read the jokes from the fun people I know. It's an easy way of keeping in contact with the world outside my home and I enjoy it.
One of the jokes I posted this morning said something about me getting older but can't be shut up and I like and agree with that. I think we all should speak up when we see or hear something that needs attention. Anyway, I added that the reason I speak up is because I care and that's the truth. I want a better world for myself but I also want it for everyone else. Somehow, we've got to reduce the evil in this world because hatred for one thing or another has gotten out of hand.
I do speak up a lot but I also try hard to exercise tact. I often fail but I do try. My opinion matters little to anyone else so I have to practice more humility when I do speak up. Maybe having some inner dialogue with myself about what I can actually accomplish by speaking up will shut me up. I like that last sentence.
One of the jokes I posted this morning said something about me getting older but can't be shut up and I like and agree with that. I think we all should speak up when we see or hear something that needs attention. Anyway, I added that the reason I speak up is because I care and that's the truth. I want a better world for myself but I also want it for everyone else. Somehow, we've got to reduce the evil in this world because hatred for one thing or another has gotten out of hand.
I do speak up a lot but I also try hard to exercise tact. I often fail but I do try. My opinion matters little to anyone else so I have to practice more humility when I do speak up. Maybe having some inner dialogue with myself about what I can actually accomplish by speaking up will shut me up. I like that last sentence.
Wednesday, November 28, 2018
Memories
The older you get, the more memories you accumulate and there's no question many of those memories will be bad ones. I remember when the bad ones took up too much space in my mind and it really did affect my emotions. I gradually learned to re-evaluate some of the bad memories and gather them in the part of my memory slotted for bad stuff I could deal with. It helped.
I still tend to dredge up the bad stuff but it doesn't hurt like it used to so I guess we can get past it in time. My better memories center around my children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren.
You can analyze the bad stuff until you're blue in the face but you probably will never be able to understand the logic for it. So let it go if you can and when you can. It's too heavy to carry around all of your life.
I still tend to dredge up the bad stuff but it doesn't hurt like it used to so I guess we can get past it in time. My better memories center around my children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren.
You can analyze the bad stuff until you're blue in the face but you probably will never be able to understand the logic for it. So let it go if you can and when you can. It's too heavy to carry around all of your life.
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Cindy's 59th Birthday
I wrote a long time ago how, when I was pregnant with Cindy, I worried terribly that a mother couldn't love another child as much as she loved the one she had. I was so wrong. We are gifted with infinite love and the love you have for one child has nothing at all to do with the love you feel for another. It's one of the miracles of motherhood.
I was huge bellied in all my pregnancies and #2 was just as uncomfortable in the final months so I was more than ready to give birth that November day. I remember, in the evening, just standing up from the sofa when my water broke...that hadn't happened with Kim until I was in the hospital. The contractions started immediately after that so we somehow got my mother to the apartment to take care of Kim before heading to the hospital.
This birth was different in many ways than my first. It was much more painful for some reason...I found out later it was because the cord was wrapped around Cindy's neck so she couldn't drop down normally. I also didn't know that both of our lives were in danger because of it.
In those days, husbands were not allowed to stay with you so a woman giving birth was essentially left alone only to be checked on occasionally by the nurses. Doctors appeared only at the final birthing. I was in terrible pain, something like being in the final stages of labor but having it last for hours because of the cord holding Cindy back.
At 12:50 A.M., Friday (all my babies were born on a Friday, by the way) November 27th, 1959, my beautiful baby girl was born. She was a healthy 9 lbs., 7 1/2 oz., just 1/2 an ounce less than Kim had been. Large babies are a sign that the mother will sooner or later become diabetic and that turned out to be true.
So there we were. Dennis was 22 and I was 19 and we were the proud and very loving parents of 2 little girls. How they survived is anyone's guess but we did our best. Cindy was feisty from the start, very tiny boned and took a while to start gaining weight even with a high birth weight.
It's always amazed me how 2 children can be so different but Kim's and Cindy's personalities were nothing alike except where it matters most. They both have huge and loving hearts and are honest as the day is long. The differences just make them more interesting!
Happy Birthday to my precious Cindy!!
I was huge bellied in all my pregnancies and #2 was just as uncomfortable in the final months so I was more than ready to give birth that November day. I remember, in the evening, just standing up from the sofa when my water broke...that hadn't happened with Kim until I was in the hospital. The contractions started immediately after that so we somehow got my mother to the apartment to take care of Kim before heading to the hospital.
This birth was different in many ways than my first. It was much more painful for some reason...I found out later it was because the cord was wrapped around Cindy's neck so she couldn't drop down normally. I also didn't know that both of our lives were in danger because of it.
In those days, husbands were not allowed to stay with you so a woman giving birth was essentially left alone only to be checked on occasionally by the nurses. Doctors appeared only at the final birthing. I was in terrible pain, something like being in the final stages of labor but having it last for hours because of the cord holding Cindy back.
At 12:50 A.M., Friday (all my babies were born on a Friday, by the way) November 27th, 1959, my beautiful baby girl was born. She was a healthy 9 lbs., 7 1/2 oz., just 1/2 an ounce less than Kim had been. Large babies are a sign that the mother will sooner or later become diabetic and that turned out to be true.
So there we were. Dennis was 22 and I was 19 and we were the proud and very loving parents of 2 little girls. How they survived is anyone's guess but we did our best. Cindy was feisty from the start, very tiny boned and took a while to start gaining weight even with a high birth weight.
It's always amazed me how 2 children can be so different but Kim's and Cindy's personalities were nothing alike except where it matters most. They both have huge and loving hearts and are honest as the day is long. The differences just make them more interesting!
Happy Birthday to my precious Cindy!!
Monday, November 26, 2018
Special Events in November
November is a good month for our family. Jake's 20th birthday was on the 7th, Matt's 32nd birthday was on the 25th, Cindy's 59th birthday will be on the 27th, and what would have been my 61st anniversary is on the 30th. All of this sort of makes me feel old...but just the numbers!
And now the Canadian November weather! It isn't the cold that gets me down but the grey days that seem to fill this month. I've gotten by okay just being happy to be home but today is one more miserably, grey, rainy day and I'm getting fed up. Driving down to Florida after Christmas is starting to look better and better!
I'm taking Cindy and Don out to dinner tonight for Cindy's birthday and I'm looking forward to that. Of course, I always look forward to dinner out but especially with my babies. And, yes, Cindy is still and always be my baby.
Kim had a little birthday party for Matt last night and served the best lasagna I've ever tasted. It amazes me what great cooks my girls turned out to be considering the mother they have. I hadn't seen Nolan and Nash in a little while and I can't believe how tall they're getting...it's probably only been a month but they are growing like weeds.
It was a shock to hear that Nash has been misbehaving so badly at school that he's been put on Ritalin. I hate the very thought of a child being put on a drug because they are acting like brats. I know Nash and he is a normally good little boy so something must be going on to make him act badly. We think it might be his way of getting attention and it's a bloody shame to put a child on Ritalin because they have a temporary problem. Poor Nick just doesn't know how to handle this and is relying on the professionals but the doctor who prescribed the Ritalin apparently saw Nash for about half an hour. It's just awful!!
My version of Nash...a sweet and gentle little boy, very loving and quiet spoken and almost never demanding attention. How can this child ever be diagnosed with ADHD?? I can't stand it.
And now the Canadian November weather! It isn't the cold that gets me down but the grey days that seem to fill this month. I've gotten by okay just being happy to be home but today is one more miserably, grey, rainy day and I'm getting fed up. Driving down to Florida after Christmas is starting to look better and better!
I'm taking Cindy and Don out to dinner tonight for Cindy's birthday and I'm looking forward to that. Of course, I always look forward to dinner out but especially with my babies. And, yes, Cindy is still and always be my baby.
Kim had a little birthday party for Matt last night and served the best lasagna I've ever tasted. It amazes me what great cooks my girls turned out to be considering the mother they have. I hadn't seen Nolan and Nash in a little while and I can't believe how tall they're getting...it's probably only been a month but they are growing like weeds.
It was a shock to hear that Nash has been misbehaving so badly at school that he's been put on Ritalin. I hate the very thought of a child being put on a drug because they are acting like brats. I know Nash and he is a normally good little boy so something must be going on to make him act badly. We think it might be his way of getting attention and it's a bloody shame to put a child on Ritalin because they have a temporary problem. Poor Nick just doesn't know how to handle this and is relying on the professionals but the doctor who prescribed the Ritalin apparently saw Nash for about half an hour. It's just awful!!
My version of Nash...a sweet and gentle little boy, very loving and quiet spoken and almost never demanding attention. How can this child ever be diagnosed with ADHD?? I can't stand it.
Friday, November 23, 2018
I've Been Thinking
It's easy to find fault with the U.S. government and sometimes I forget that they have legitimate worries about illegal immigrants because I sympathize with them. I had commented on my friend, Arlean's, post saying none of the "caravan" people would storm the border and therefore the troops sent by Trump were unnecessary. Unfortunately, I forgot that not all of those desperate people will bother coming through the border crossings and searched and verified by U.S. border guards. Many will cross illegally between border entries and those are the ones we should worry about.
It's also easy for us in Canada to sit in judgement when we're too far north to worry about our borders being stormed by illegal immigrants. It is a far different story to have undocumented immigrants arrive at established and guarded border crossings than to have hordes of unknowns stream across inbetween those legal entries.
I think my opinions have been clouded by my dislike for Trump and all he stands for. If Trump approves it, it must be bad! I sometimes forget the reality of the situation.
No, I would be horrified if unknown immigrants by the thousands ran across our borders illegally. I would be horrified at the cost to the tax payers of Canada and I would be very worried how many would be criminals or terrorists.
There are many sides to every story.
It's also easy for us in Canada to sit in judgement when we're too far north to worry about our borders being stormed by illegal immigrants. It is a far different story to have undocumented immigrants arrive at established and guarded border crossings than to have hordes of unknowns stream across inbetween those legal entries.
I think my opinions have been clouded by my dislike for Trump and all he stands for. If Trump approves it, it must be bad! I sometimes forget the reality of the situation.
No, I would be horrified if unknown immigrants by the thousands ran across our borders illegally. I would be horrified at the cost to the tax payers of Canada and I would be very worried how many would be criminals or terrorists.
There are many sides to every story.
Thursday, November 22, 2018
Root Canal Appointment #3
Having a root canal is not painful but it is time consuming. There are many parts to the whole procedure and that's probably why it's so expensive, too. Today was my third appointment and I'd been warned it would take about 1 1/2 hours. I thought all of that time would require me to have my mouth wide open but only most of it did. There were quite a few impressions taken for the new crown and that meant having guck placed around the tooth and the teeth that were around it. I worried about gagging but the guck was only placed around the teeth.
I like my dentist. He knows what he's doing, does it gently, and explains as he goes. His office is clean, state of the art, and he employs people just like him. I feel lucky to have him for my dentist.
I'd prepared myself for what I thought of as a marathon and never allowed myself to feel dread. That helped a lot. It also helped to know that, no matter how long it all took, it wouldn't hurt. When all was done, it was a relief, though, and I knew that the final appointment in a couple of weeks won't take long at all...just 1/2 hour to cement in the new crown.
It's been stressful, cost and appointments, but it was something that had to be done. I'm very lucky to still have almost all my own teeth with only a few extractions years ago so I want to take care of them.
I've had my nap but I'm still tired so maybe all of this is more stressful than I thought. It will pass.
I like my dentist. He knows what he's doing, does it gently, and explains as he goes. His office is clean, state of the art, and he employs people just like him. I feel lucky to have him for my dentist.
I'd prepared myself for what I thought of as a marathon and never allowed myself to feel dread. That helped a lot. It also helped to know that, no matter how long it all took, it wouldn't hurt. When all was done, it was a relief, though, and I knew that the final appointment in a couple of weeks won't take long at all...just 1/2 hour to cement in the new crown.
It's been stressful, cost and appointments, but it was something that had to be done. I'm very lucky to still have almost all my own teeth with only a few extractions years ago so I want to take care of them.
I've had my nap but I'm still tired so maybe all of this is more stressful than I thought. It will pass.
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Something is Wrong
I have a daily routine and my computer or server is interfering with that today. I like to make my coffee, go on to Facebook and catch up with my friends, post some flower photos, etc., and then play some games. So far, the only thing I can get into is the blog and I'm hoping that, after writing, I will be able to post it.
I can't remember if I've always had a morning routine but I do know that it usually begins with a pee and then coffee. All is fine in those areas. I can remember some routines...like making lists of what I wanted to accomplish that day (never actually accomplishing them)...that I haven't bothered with in years. That's probably because we have a lot more time to do whatever we want now that kids are grown and the workplace is only at home.
Of course, as soon as the computer acts weird, we worry that we need a new one instead of calming down and blaming it on a server glitch. Faye has a little ipad she's been using for about 5 years that works about as well as my $1,000 laptop so I've already decided to go that route instead of another laptop. It would be easier to travel with, too.
Well, my inner need for routine is calling so I'd better check again if I can get on Facebook and do my stuff.
I can't remember if I've always had a morning routine but I do know that it usually begins with a pee and then coffee. All is fine in those areas. I can remember some routines...like making lists of what I wanted to accomplish that day (never actually accomplishing them)...that I haven't bothered with in years. That's probably because we have a lot more time to do whatever we want now that kids are grown and the workplace is only at home.
Of course, as soon as the computer acts weird, we worry that we need a new one instead of calming down and blaming it on a server glitch. Faye has a little ipad she's been using for about 5 years that works about as well as my $1,000 laptop so I've already decided to go that route instead of another laptop. It would be easier to travel with, too.
Well, my inner need for routine is calling so I'd better check again if I can get on Facebook and do my stuff.
Monday, November 19, 2018
Looking Forward to Florida
I really am happy to be home a little longer this year but I also miss my 3W friends a lot so it will be nice to get back to the park for 3 months. Facebook has been a great help in keeping me informed of what they've been doing all summer but there's nothing like face to face interaction.
Even though I'm selling the trailer this winter, I've been going back and forth in my mind about renting one of the new trailers for next winter. Faye seems willing to share the cost with me and that is how I'll make up my mind. It's expensive as heck to rent them but they're gorgeous and have 2 bedrooms, washer, and dryer. I'll put my name on the list to rent one when I get to Florida.
Yes, it's really nice to be home but the lifestyle at the park is very enticing. Not only is the weather nice but the friends I've accumulated over the years are wonderful people. I will miss them the most when I actually am unable to winter at the park. I've had a 20 year run and know how fortunate I am.
Today the sun is shining even though it's fairly cold and I'm going to do a bit of grocery shopping and look for a birthday present for Cindy. I've only been home once in the past 20 years to celebrate her birthday. Cindy's is on Nov. 27th and Matt's is on Nov. 25th so I've missed a lot of birthday cake!
I watched an interesting but disturbing documentary on T.V. yesterday. It was about a male body builder (built like a brick s-it house) who is transitioning to a female. At the time of filming, he was on hormones and had extensive facial and throat surgery to appear and sound more feminine. All I could think of was that, no matter how much pain, danger, and expense he goes through, he will never be a real female. It's incredibly sad to watch something like this. I try very hard to understand but I don't. I think I'll always believe it is a mental illness almost all of the time. There are legitimate cases of people born with both sex organs or who were misdiagnosed at birth but they are a completely different story.
I watched another documentary about the chaos in the Philippines. I had no idea their president was a ruthless dictator...too much time watching news about Trump. It was frightening to hear how one bad leader can gain so much control over their people. It's a horrible situation.
I'm beginning to think I've developed so many irrational fears because of these documentaries I watch. There are an amazing amount of things in our world causing us to be fearful. When we hear a story about someone who is kind and loving, we cling to the hope that the majority of human beings are good. It's getting harder to do that, though. One of the news channels used to dedicate part of their program to good news only. I wish they still did that because we're becoming overwhelmed with all the horrors that mankind can create. At least I am.
Even though I'm selling the trailer this winter, I've been going back and forth in my mind about renting one of the new trailers for next winter. Faye seems willing to share the cost with me and that is how I'll make up my mind. It's expensive as heck to rent them but they're gorgeous and have 2 bedrooms, washer, and dryer. I'll put my name on the list to rent one when I get to Florida.
Yes, it's really nice to be home but the lifestyle at the park is very enticing. Not only is the weather nice but the friends I've accumulated over the years are wonderful people. I will miss them the most when I actually am unable to winter at the park. I've had a 20 year run and know how fortunate I am.
Today the sun is shining even though it's fairly cold and I'm going to do a bit of grocery shopping and look for a birthday present for Cindy. I've only been home once in the past 20 years to celebrate her birthday. Cindy's is on Nov. 27th and Matt's is on Nov. 25th so I've missed a lot of birthday cake!
I watched an interesting but disturbing documentary on T.V. yesterday. It was about a male body builder (built like a brick s-it house) who is transitioning to a female. At the time of filming, he was on hormones and had extensive facial and throat surgery to appear and sound more feminine. All I could think of was that, no matter how much pain, danger, and expense he goes through, he will never be a real female. It's incredibly sad to watch something like this. I try very hard to understand but I don't. I think I'll always believe it is a mental illness almost all of the time. There are legitimate cases of people born with both sex organs or who were misdiagnosed at birth but they are a completely different story.
I watched another documentary about the chaos in the Philippines. I had no idea their president was a ruthless dictator...too much time watching news about Trump. It was frightening to hear how one bad leader can gain so much control over their people. It's a horrible situation.
I'm beginning to think I've developed so many irrational fears because of these documentaries I watch. There are an amazing amount of things in our world causing us to be fearful. When we hear a story about someone who is kind and loving, we cling to the hope that the majority of human beings are good. It's getting harder to do that, though. One of the news channels used to dedicate part of their program to good news only. I wish they still did that because we're becoming overwhelmed with all the horrors that mankind can create. At least I am.
Sunday, November 18, 2018
Tired
I'm always tired after a craft sale because there is a lot of lugging stuff in and out but yesterday I was tired and body sore. Cindy came to help me because Kim had to work and having someone with me makes it all tolerable. I do love the interaction with people and will keep doing this one sale for as long as I can.
After the sale (I made $205 after costs) we went to Costco to buy me a winter jacket. If I'm going to be staying home for the winters I need something really warm. We had something to eat and then headed home. I slept for an hour or so but couldn't stop the body hurt until this morning. It seems to take longer and longer to get over any body aches I develop...this one was probably from the slight bending over the tables as I was setting up. It's that slight bending that bothers me even though I don't have back problems. It usually goes away in a few hours but this one lasted all night. Could be age. LOL!
I sold quite a bit of the jewelry but I'm so bored with it now that I sent Cindy home with all the cheaper stuff to give away to the girls. Since I only sold 1 table runner it got me a bit worried about just selling them next year so I kept the better necklaces because they sold very well. I have enough of them to last a couple of craft shows, anyway.
I am definitely not doing anything today but vegetating.
After the sale (I made $205 after costs) we went to Costco to buy me a winter jacket. If I'm going to be staying home for the winters I need something really warm. We had something to eat and then headed home. I slept for an hour or so but couldn't stop the body hurt until this morning. It seems to take longer and longer to get over any body aches I develop...this one was probably from the slight bending over the tables as I was setting up. It's that slight bending that bothers me even though I don't have back problems. It usually goes away in a few hours but this one lasted all night. Could be age. LOL!
I sold quite a bit of the jewelry but I'm so bored with it now that I sent Cindy home with all the cheaper stuff to give away to the girls. Since I only sold 1 table runner it got me a bit worried about just selling them next year so I kept the better necklaces because they sold very well. I have enough of them to last a couple of craft shows, anyway.
I am definitely not doing anything today but vegetating.
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