Just a Comment

I love Facebook even when I'm tired of reading all the political garbage but something confuses me.  I see posts from the Americans all of the time...every single day..insulting the Democrats and praising the Republicans...actually only the Republicans that praise Trump...but any time someone posts a word against Trump, his followers get all offended and pretty much tell the commenter that he or she is lying or stupid.  Their minds are absolutely closed to the fact that free speech goes both ways.

I would never insult someone who votes differently than I would because I firmly believe that is their right.  I also would never tell that person they were repeating lies or were stupid.  

We need free speech in our culture because that is the only thing that keeps the politicians half way honest.  If we blind ourselves to facts, we deserve what we get.

Enough said!

Perception

I posted an article written in the U.K. about how they perceive Trump and, of course, made my own observation which, of course, was not favorable to Trump.  One of my friends asked me where I get such lies about their president and I replied, "from watching him and listening to him on the news".  When you think about it, it's the same place that almost every Trump supporter gets their information about him.  It makes me wonder how easy it is for them to eliminate the bad stuff and only take in the good.

We all do this in one way or another, though.  Some of us put up with bad relationships, closing our eyes (and brains) to the evidence right in front of us because we don't want to believe it.  Some of us look at our criminally bent children and see only the cherubic faces of them when they were infants.  We like to see the world as we want it to be instead of how it really is.

It's no mystery why some people revere their political choices because they know in their hearts that it's them, the voters, who put the jackass in that position of power.  And so we pretend we've made the right choice.  Some do wise up but it's usually too late and it doesn't matter anyway.  The next person in power might be just as bad or worse.

Our Canadian election was over yesterday and Trudeau was voted back in but with a minority government.  I've already forgotten the promises made by him but it really doesn't matter, does it? 

Happy

I noticed that the last blog I wrote was titled "Depression"  and I certainly remembered that part of my life when depression broke me down.  It's probably the reason why I glory in my happy days now.

Happiness is relative.  You can be happy for many reasons...wealth, health, friends, family, etc....but the most positive way to be happy is to simply enjoy what is good in your life.  It just might be a sunny day or short while without pain.  The bad stuff is part of living and, if we can learn to cope with it and still enjoy the good days, we are very lucky.

I'm happy today because the sun is shining and I refuse to allow anything negative to ruin today's happiness.  You can be in charge of your attitude.

There is civil strife all around the world and you will see the devastation on the news but you might also see a smiling little child among the rubble and that's what I mean about creating your own attitude.  You can have crap all around you but you can also zone in on something to smile about.

We can't change the past but we can decide how it will affect us.  We can choose to sink or swim.  So, unless something bad happens to my offspring, I can ignore all the bad stuff and choose happiness over it all.

Depression

Someone posted a description of all the facets of depression on Facebook this morning and I was sort of taken aback by the accuracy.  I went through all of those miseries for a whole lot of years and I'm amazed that I survived it.  You don't think you'll ever survive as you're going through it but I think the masses of information on depression available these days will give hope to those suffering.  And it is "suffering"!  I don't ever want to be beaten down like that ever again!

Every time I get normally depressed (usually by some horrible thing happening on the news), I worry that I won't rise above it, that this time I'll sink completely down and it's frightening.  I believe that once you have had a true depression you are susceptible to it happening again.  It might be because our reserve has weakened or that we are just more sensitive than average people.  Whichever, it will remain a constant battle to overcome depression for the rest of our lives.

I live a pretty peaceful life but I hold in the back of my mind a slight dread of any catastrophe involving my family.  I already know I wouldn't survive if anything happened to them but I wouldn't want to, anyway.

When the young boy was murdered last week, my heart went out to his mother who has to deal with seeing her son die in front of her.  A senseless and cruel death and one she tried to prevent but was unable to do so.  I wanted to comfort her in some way but there are no words that can ease that kind of pain.  And so I suffered in my own way along with her.

Today, I'm not depressed even in a normal way and that gives me confidence that I am stronger than before, that I would never willingly let myself become a victim ever again.  There is hope.  I wish so much that we could instill that feeling of hope for a better time in every person suffering from depression.  The helpless feeling that nothing will change is what drains us but even a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on can make all the difference in the world.  I never had that during my depression so it worsened until it was so bad that I needed counseling and that is what saved me.

You never know who is depressed but putting on a happy face for the public.  You never know if one kind word saves them from giving up completely or if one cruel word sends them over the edge so choose your words carefully. 

Bullies

I've often said that bullies won't bully if their victim stands up to them but that might not be true.  A died in the wool, vicious and unconscionable bully would probably attack even stronger than before.  A lot of bullies can be stopped in their tracks simply by having their peers disapprove of their actions and that's why it's still wise to not just take bullying laying down.  

The only way to deter a determined bully is for the adults to take charge, either with stern discipline or imprisonment because this is all that will stop the truly bad ones.

I can't help but wonder how one family could have produced a 14 year old and an 18 year old capable of torturing and murdering a helpless 14 year old child.  There has got to be something seriously wrong in that home.  There will always be the aberrant criminal who comes from a loving and nurturing home but for two brothers to become murderous monsters screams bad parenting.

I think of how young Devon must have finally been able to let down his guard this time last week, having the weekend free from his tormentors.   He had only one more day of relative peace before having to face that awful Monday morning trek to school and into the hands of the beasts who hounded him.  There was not one adult in that school he could count on to keep him safe and that's one of the saddest things of all.  If only one had cared enough to walk him out to his mother's car.  If only one had cared.  

What Have We Created?

A 14 year old boy bullied by his high school classmates and neither the school or the board of education can do anything to help him.  This poor young boy must have lived in terror every day of his life in his final years, trying to just make it to school and home without being tortured.

His bullies, a 14 year old boy and his 18 year old brother, another 16 year old boy and a 16 year old girl made plans to stab him on Monday.  They chased him after school, threw some liquid on him as he ran to get away from them.  His mother had come to pick him up and saw it all.  She raced after the group and tried to get her son in the car but his bullies dragged him out and stabbed him to death.  All the while this act of terrorism was being acted out, other students, instead of running to the defense of this child, chose to use their cell phones to video it.  The total horror of these moments can't be comprehended by normal people.  But the teens who tortured the boy, murdered him, and the ones who recorded it had no conscience.  They are so warped in their thinking that they will never grow up to be normal adults.

They weren't deterred by the presence of the boy's mother.  They took a life without giving a damn.  The teens on their cell phones were almost as bad for their lack of human decency.

There is no lumping all teens with these monsters but the sheer numbers of teens who terrorize or murder are something to shock us all.  I think they do it for excitement, knowing they'll be able to act like innocent little children at their trials and have taxpayer paid lawyers who will describe them as coming from disfunctional families.  Or, if the parents have money, they'll find a judge who will be lenient on their home grown monsters.  

They know they won't serve long sentences but maybe they don't realize that even a few years in prison won't be fun.  All 4 of these monsters have destroyed their lives and they probably don't even realize it.  They've done something that will forever set them apart from decent human beings...they might hide but the facts will remain deep inside them.

What have we created?  

Given Up

I think I've finally gotten over being indignant because so many people have no common sense.  If Trump's popularity can rise in the polls after he openly admits on camera that he asked the Ukraine for help in finding dirt on his 2020 opponent, Biden, and then openly suggesting that China do the same...I give up.  We really do get what we deserve and if the majority of us are deaf, blind, and dumb to his many faults, we're all going to hell.

I've never understood the choices people make in their lives, even myself, and that's why I analyze so much.  It's such a mystery why some people become criminals and adulterers and why some good people become their victims.  Why is there a drive in some people to build and create while there is an equally strong drive in some to destroy?

There is no question that Trump has changed the way politics will be carried out in the U.S. in the future.  He has opened doors to allow the presidents of the future to be even more brutal and dishonest...and know they can pretty much do what they want without repercussions.  He has also changed the way the U.S. is viewed by other countries.  He has increased the fear and uncertain atmosphere of the whole world.  To hear some Republicans refer to Trump as a "gift from god" is terrifying.  If anything, he's the false prophet their bibles have warned them about.

In our own upcoming elections, I don't have much hope, either.  So far, none of our potential prime ministers are as evil as Trump but you can bet our politicians are watching him to see if we Canadians might be just as gullible as the Americans.  We have our own scandals among our politicians so they aren't squeaky clean, either, but they haven't destroyed the reputation we have in the world.  Yet.

I always thought that most politicians were out for themselves but that they did have a soft spot in their hearts for the country they served and would do nothing to actually harm the country.  Now I'm not so sure.

  

Ear Tube Update

After spending a whole winter, spring, and part of the summer with a blocked ear that was almost deaf, the tube I had inserted in August appears to be working.  I had a hearing test yesterday and both ears are now receiving about equally.  The ear with the tube still feels somewhat blocked but I knew my hearing had gradually improved in the last month or so.  There was absolutely no improvement for at least a few weeks after the tube was inserted and that was terribly disappointing but I did begin to notice very gradual improvement.

Apparently my hearing, even in both ears, isn't perfect because of age but not bad and not needing a hearing aid.  I will be quite satisfied with what I have now.

Of course I have another worry in the back of my mind and that's for what will happen the next time I get a bad cold and my ears block once again.   

Losing Another

The very worst part of getting old is that you lose the people you grew up with, the people who know you best.  Faye called last night to say that Wayne is getting worse and won't make it much longer.  I don't hurt as much this time because he's been living with the effects of a terrible stroke for a long time and that quality of life isn't worth living.

I didn't get to see Wayne since the stroke and I'm a little glad I didn't because my memories of him will always be of the wild and woolly young man he was back in the day.  Women loved him and he took full advantage of it.  We all have stories of Wayne's antics that would shock a lot of people...but his true nature was one of kindness, gentleness, and common decency.  He was like a brother to me from the beginning (1955 to be exact) when we both attended teen dances.  He's the one who told me his brother, Dennis, got drunk all the time and beat up his girlfriends...none of this was true and I ended up marrying Dennis.

Wayne was so much fun.  He loved to dance, party, and sing.  He loved his family with a passion and my biggest disappointment was when he and Mary divorced.  Mary is still one of my best friends and always will be.

Unlike Donna's passing in July, I'm glad to see Wayne finally leave our world for the next.  The effects of the stroke completely incapacitated him and none of us want to live like that, especially Wayne who lived life to the fullest.

I'm expecting he won't make it through the day but, if he does, I hope he leaves soon...for his sake. 

Update: As of today, October 3, Wayne seems to be hanging in there.  There has to be a reason he's survived this long and I hope it's a worthwhile one because it must be miserable for him.  The life force within us is terribly strong, though, and it could be just that he's not ready to leave yet.

I believe This Strongly

I believe that bullying could be erased completely if more good people would stand up in defense of the person being bullied.

I believe racism could be at least lessened (we can't control the politics or customs of other countries) in this world if the good people confront the racist and tell them their words and actions are cruel and unacceptable in modern society.

I believe the way we treat animals is the way we'll treat people.

I believe that training ourselves to stop and think before acting or reacting would result in more peace of mind.

I believe that kindness can solve all the ills of the world.

Free Speech

I've noticed on Facebook how, among many other issues, the Republicans post some pretty vitriolic stuff about the Democrats.  That's free speech.  What I think is laughable is how the Republicans become so darned angry when anyone dares to post something  nasty about Republicans.  Doesn't free speech go both ways?

I'm vocal about the things I'm passionate about, too, and I try not to rant too often.  I see a lot of posts making fun of or insulting Justin Trudeau but I've never seen anyone who supports him get all up in arms and offended by this.  We just don't take politics as seriously in Canada and that's probably because we're not as blind to our politicians' faults as the Americans are to the faults of their own politicians.  

I have to admit I rolled my eyes but bit my tongue when Mary said she liked Trudeau.

Long Time Employees

Is it just me or do others think that a faithful long time employee of any company who begins to fail in some ways in their present position not be fired but to be given the opportunity for another job in the company?  To my thinking, a long time employee has proven they are an asset to the company even if they are not quite up to par in their present job.  It makes sense to slide them into a less demanding job in the company because they've already proven themselves to be a worthwhile employee.

Some say companies have to consider only the bottom line and that's profit but one of the main ways for a company to become profitable is on the backs of their employees.  It seems terribly cold and selfish of any company to toss out an employee who has, for many years, built it into a profitable enterprise.

Then you need to consider that any long time employee is probably at least middle aged and won't be able to easily find employment that matches their present salary.  For an employer to feel that it isn't their problem is a shame.  Faithfulness and commitment should count for something in any company because that is something that not all of the employees have.  Most employees work for the paycheck and don't give a damn about the company.  That is represented in the quality of their work, too.

It hurts to know of people who have spent their youth working for a company only to be let go when they're older.  In some cases, it will be devastating to their family.  In some cases they will do okay.  And in some cases it will be the best thing that ever happened to them.  In every case, it will be a painful and frightening adjustment that should never have happened at all!



  

Late Nights

There is one good reason you should sow your wild oats before you get married and have children.  During those child raising years, you have little opportunity to stay up half the night because you have to be alert the next day to look after your children.  If you wait until you're old and beyond child raising age, you don't have the stamina to enjoy those late nights doing anything.

I can remember wishing so much for the freedom and fun of an unfettered life in my twenties but it wasn't to be.  I had 3 children by the time I was 23 so party days were over for me for a long time.  Now that I'm an old gal with nothing to slow me down, age has done it for me.  Damn!  

While Mary and then Faye was here, I was up half the night yakking.  At the casino on Tuesday night, I gambled until 1 A.M.  I got back home on Wednesday, had a long nap in the afternoon and then, yesterday, I slept half the day, went to bed early and had a good night sleep.  My poor old body refuses to let me party late and get away with it.  Life can be so darned unfair.

I usually go to bed around 10:30 P.M. and get up quite early but then I do need that afternoon nap to feel good.  That's the way it is and there's no sense trying to roll back the years.  

Gambling Fascination

I love the slots but I also have a strong understanding that I can't afford to lose much money so I don't think there's a chance of me becoming a dangerous gambler.  It's interesting how some people have a total aversion to gambling...they say they work too hard for their money to gamble it away...and some find it exciting.  Some find it so exciting that they gamble away, home, job, and family.

I like the colors, the bells, and the winners around me when I'm at the casino.  I'm always a bit surprised if I win anything but that never lasts long because I'm a true loser at gambling.  The good thing is that I'm very aware that any wins will quickly be followed by losses.

I don't know how gambling can become so addictive to a person that it causes them to lose their mind and not be able to stop.  It's almost as though they can't accept their loss and the hope for a big win to cover their losses rules their thinking.  Luckily, I know that, in the end, my losses will always be much larger than my wins because that has been the historical fact.

Anyway, I like gambling but, unless I become truly senile, it will never rule my life.

Donna's Memorial Service

Mary came in early for Donna's memorial service...she'd planned on coming in on Monday because we're going to the casino on Tuesday.  We had Brent pick us up to drive us to Todd's house where the memorial service was held.  The house was packed with people but most I'd never seen before...probably Todd and Kim's friends.  Of course, our family was there, too.

I was a little nervous about seeing Donna's urn and breaking down but I was just terribly sad.  There are so many memories with Donna over 62 years of my life and I wouldn't give that up for anything.  There will always be that empty spot now but that's life, isn't it?  We're all only here for a limited time, some longer or shorter than others.  That's a very good reason not to waste our limited time being angry or destructive or petty.

My Kim, Brent, Mary, and I went for dinner after the service.  We do spend a lot of time with our families and that is a blessing I never thought I'd come to appreciate when I was young.  My family is what makes my life.  Mary and I stayed up late yakking when we got back home like we always do.  Sunday we lounged around in the morning, did a bit of shopping in the afternoon, had dinner at "Wendys", and then spent the evening yakking.  It's a good life when you're surrounded with good people.

Cindy called me on her way to work this morning to see how the memorial service went (she and Don had been away for the weekend).  She's taken to checking up on me this way because she knows I'm always up early.  I am blessed with wonderful children!

"Sit With"

I'm the kind of person who likes to know who I'm going to sit with.  I am horribly uncomfortable walking into a gathering and not knowing the people there or not knowing where I should sit.  I guess I need to know where I'm welcome.

When Donna was alive (so hard to write those words!), I'd always look for her at any gathering and head straight for her.  That was my comfort zone because I'm not a shmoozer and neither was Donna.  What I mean by shmoozer is a person who likes to tour the floor and stop to talk to everyone.  Faye is a shmoozer but Mary isn't.  I think most of the people I care about are non-shmoozers just like me.

Tomorrow is Donna's memorial service at Todd and Kim's house.  I'm assuming Donna's ashes will be there and that's where I'll go first.  It makes me cry just to think about it so I hope I can hold it together tomorrow.

Gourmet Dinner

Matt made us a gourmet dinner last night to celebrate Kellie's 27th birthday.  It continues to amaze me how so many of my offspring are excellent and creative cooks.  We had a salad that was wrapped in long strands of cucumber instead of using a bowl...so creative.  Then it was followed by very expensive and very delicious steaks, specialty mashed potatoes, and veggies.  It was so good but I couldn't finish it all.  The dessert was home made (by Matt) cheesecake with his own home made topping.  Everything was beautifully plated and Matt even cleaned up the kitchen afterwards.

This was all a lovely treat for Kim, too, who could relax and just enjoy this beautiful meal instead of having to do all the work.

Nick, Bev, and the boys picked me up to take me to dinner because it would be dark going home and I can't see to drive in the dark.  Kim drove me home.  My people take such good care of me that it's humbling at times.

All in all, a lovely late summer day ending with special time spent with family. 

Lots of Questions

The older I get, the more questions I need answered.  What I've learned to date is that all of the world's problems stem from us human beings.

We have this beautiful planet to live out our lives on and yet we fill it up with garbage.  The simple fact that it takes 450 years for one of our trillions of plastic bottles to decompose tells it all.  Apparently we don't care because we haven't stopped producing and using them.  Most countries of the world are in the midst of civil wars.  We humans can't seem to get along with our neighbors so we fight them and physically destroy our country.

We deliberately and brutally hurt each other...in wars, spousal abuse, child abuse, criminal activity, etc.  Our leaders rob us blind.  We participate in infidelity in around 50% of marriages and yet most claim to love their partners.  The same holds true for those spouses who beat or murder the life partners they claim to love.

Lots of people go to church every Sunday and feel self-righteous  by doing so.  Then they leave the church and carry on with their infidelity, theft, and abuse of others.  The church leaders are no better except they are much worse because the bad ones prey on our children.

Maybe I never noticed it before but it seems like most of us humans make it our mission in life to chase the almighty dollar instead of a decent life.  Our values aren't what they should be.

I was just reminded that our health care system, which won't pay for life saving drugs in some cases, still use our funds to pay for sex change operations.  Like I said, we're our own worst enemies when it comes to following blindly.  Many people will squeal loudly because they don't approve of sex change surgery but those same people will be silent about how their neighbors can't afford the medicines they need.

Our priorities, for the most part, are just to keep our heads above water so we don't bother too much about the struggles of other people.  Empathy is becoming just a word like "tsk tsk!".

Of course there are decent people all around us who do their utmost to live decent and helpful lives but there are very few Mother Theresa's out there.  Human beings are innately greedy and tend to look after their own interests before considering anyone else.

There is no logic in our justice system.  Politicians and judges are bought and sold so often that no-one seems to get fair treatment in the courts.  Prejudices play a huge part in obtaining justice, too.

I guess I'm on a bit of a tear today, not unhappy but just seeing too much that isn't right and not having the ability to make it right.  It doesn't help that I recognize in myself all that is wrong with my fellow man.   

Crock Pot Chili

Crock pot chili is so easy to make and it really is full of iron...kidney beans and ground beef.  I used to make it with ground chicken but now I'm forced to eat more beef to raise my iron levels.  And it even tastes better reheated which is good for me because I'll freeze most of it in dinner sized portions.

I've made this recipe for most of my adult life and even though I use a lot of canned veggies in it, it's still nutritious (I hope).  I usually use one small can of tomato paste along with a larger can of diced tomatoes but I had none so I substituted a can of tomato soup.  There are also 2 cans of dark red kidney beans, a can of mushroom pieces, and a package of chili seasoning.  

I started with 1 lb. of lean ground beef and 1 large onion.  I let these simmer for a while in the slow cooker to brown the ground beef before tossing in all the other ingredients.  I don't like to cook but this is a simple and quick way to supply myself with 6+ meals.  Now I can just let it all simmer away for a few hours and then have a nice hearty lunch.

I saw my family doctor yesterday and, besides the low iron level, all my other innards seem to be working well.  I honestly will make more effort in eating better now that I know I absolutely have to do so.  

Anemia Solution

I did a bit of research and decided that I should try making my soups again but with lentils, chick peas, etc. because they are high in iron.  I really like spinach, too, and it's great added into any soup.  I rarely make a chili, which is also a good source of iron, but plan to do so soon.  I also bought some small salmon steaks which I like poached in milk but haven't bothered to buy in quite a while.  Good planning so far!

I also bought chicken thighs (dark meat is higher in iron than white) to add to my soups.  It seems I just don't want beef so I'll concentrate on more fish for sure.  Having anemia is a bit of a worry for me because I feel pretty good otherwise and it seems a shame to mess with my poor old 79 year old body at this time in my life.

I do make tasty soups.  I've got a mess of spices that I've learned to use so there should be very few chemicals in it, too.  I can't control what the farmers use to grow the produce unless I shop at Goodness Me and that's pretty expensive.  Donna shopped there all the time in order to prolong her life and it didn't help in the end.  I'll have to think about it further before doing my grocery shopping there.

It's just so weird to have little appetite when that has not been the case for most of my life.  Just think how slim I would have been if this had happened 50 years ago.