No, Faye, You're Not Crazy Yet

My sister-in-law and I worked all day making Elvis tote bags for our trip to the Elvis Festival in Collingwood in July. Five of us ladies went last July and had the time of our lives so we're going again this summer. Faye had found fabric at Walmart that had a complete Elvis tote bag on it (in pieces). We carted all of our equipment, including sewing machine, over to the clubhouse at 10 A.M. and began our mission.

We argued over the directions and Faye was right. We argued over the placement of the straps and Faye was right. We argued over the size of the seam binding and Faye was right. Then Faye said she'd lost one of the straps and we searched high and low for it. We searched the floor, the tables, the garbage, her trailer, and came up with nothing. She feared she might have thrown it in the trash a few days earlier with some scraps. At 3 P.M. we decided to close up shop till tomorrow when we weren't so tired. We had 2 bags almost done.

I drove to Walmart to buy some more of this wonderful fabric thinking I could make an Elvis tote bag for my sister and a few more Elvis fans. As the sales lady was showing me that there was only 3 full patterns in the fabric left, I noticed that at the end of the piece was one lone extra strap. Apparently, when Faye bought her fabric yesterday, the sales lady had cut the piece incorrectly and shorted her the one strap. I bought the whole thing and raced home to tell Faye she still had most of her marbles...and that she'd been WRONG about losing a strap.

If anyone is going to Collingwood for the Elvis Festival in July, look for 5 old gals with the cutest matching Elvis tote bags. It will be us!

Poverty

Much is said about the effects of living in poverty but most of the people discussing it have no idea what it really is. There are two kinds of poverty...living on very little money but living clean and decent...or living on very little money in a drug and criminal infested environment. I primarily came from the former.

As a child I lived with my mother, sister, and grandparents in a tiny two room apartment. There was very little income between the three adults but the apartment was always clean and there was always healthy food on the table.

My mother, sister, and I slept together in one bed in the bedroom. My grandparents slept on the sofa bed in the livingroom/kitchen. There is no way to describe this other than poverty but we children never felt poor.

Our apartment was one of four in a converted townhouse (that townhouse has since been converted back to it's original state and is now highly priced and highly sought after). A prostitute occupied the apartment behind ours but caused very little disruption in our lives. At rare times she would become despondent with her source of income and open her door so everyone could hear her telling her "john" what she really thought of him...prostitutes apparently think their customers are disgusting and pathetic creeps. The only other criminal activity in our neighborhood was in my own apartment because my grandmother was the neighborhood bootlegger. I've already written a blog describing how that affected my life...it was mainly an interesting and mild part of my growing up.

My husband and I married very young and had our three children before I was 24 and he was 27. He was never without a job but our income was on the low side for most of our married lives. We did without luxuries but always had the necessities...then our income and lifestyle improved as we grew older. Since he also came from a rather poor background we were the first generation to really do well for ourselves. We never forgot our poorer beginnings and were able to appreciate how far we'd come from them.

Poverty can breed the "poor me, take care of me" syndrome or it can prompt you to try harder for a better life. Most of the people I know came from so-called "deprived" backgrounds but they had the drive to better themselves.

There is no disgrace in poverty but it can either destroy you or make you stronger. It's your choice.

Hooked on Laundry

I've mentioned before how I have an affinity for doing laundry possibly a little too often. A few years ago my husband and I went away for a few days and when we arrived back at the trailer park we were confronted with a strange sight. A group of friends here like to play practical jokes and they'd decided to decorate our pretty little trailer while we were gone. They had strung clothes lines from tree to tree, from door to awning, and from one end of the eavestrough to the other. Then they hung old clothes, garbage bags, and rags on the lines. I think they were trying to tell me something.

Today, as I was carting my dirty clothes over to the laundry room, my friend and neighbor came out to welcome me back from the cruise. He saw I was headed to the laundry room and commented "now everything is back to normal". Wonder if this was another cryptic message!

Note: A person who loves to do laundry does not necessarily do other kinds of housework with the same enthusiasm. I don't.

Home From the Cruise!

We're back and I'm planning my next cruise! We had the most fabulous weather, the most fabulous food, and the most fabulous service that I've ever experienced...and we were on a budget cruise. If Carnival wants to use my blog for their advertisement, they're welcome to it because my praise is well deserved.

Since I'd never been on a cruise before, my expectations were on the low side. I've stayed in some fancy hotels and been slightly disappointed with what I got for my money. Our rooms on the ship (Sensation) were smallish but spotless clean and not too confining. The meals in the cafeteria were marvelous but the meals in the dining room were out of this world. The entertainment was nice and better in some ways than I thought we'd get on a budget cruise. The casino paid well...to everyone else but me, unfortunately.

We landed in Freeport and I was advised to stay on the ship because there wasn't much to see there. The following day we reached Nassau and did leave the ship. Our first stop was the straw market and it wasn't the same as I'd seen 15 years ago on a Bahama vacation. It was so tightly crammed with merchandise and sellers that there was barely room for one person to walk down the aisle...a definite fire trap and it also smelled bad. We left there quickly and walked down Bay St. to look in the stores where I bought a t-shirt and a tie dyed shift for a reasonable price.

Then we took a taxi to the Atlantis hotel on Paradise Island. It cost us each $4 and our driver was an erudite gentleman who filled us in on Bahama life, history, and customs. The Atlantis casino took a bit more of my money but my friend, Sylvia, won over $100.

Back to the ship and a few hours of sun, conversation, and music before heading off to the dining room. After dinner, we usually watched a stage show and then I'd head to the casino. I left many dollars in that casino but my friends just kept winning. Sylvia won more than $100 there and stopped gambling. Our guide and friend, Linda, won every place she went and even won a whopping $1500 on our last evening on the ship.

Because we had to be up at 5 A.M. the next morning, we wanted to go to bed early. The problem was that our duty free booze had not been brought to our cabin and we'd been told it might not get there till 10 P.M. At 8:30 P.M. I phoned our cabin steward and asked him, explaining the circumstances, if there was any way we could have our delivery as soon as possible. We had received excellent service from all the staff so we weren't especially surprised when he brought our purchases to the door about 15 minutes later. We thanked him with a nice tip...and we seniors don't tip too freely.

On our final morning, all non-U.S. citizens had to go through customs on the ship at 6:15 A.M. Sylvia and I were the first Canadians in line and the Canadians were chosen to be processed first. Lucky or what?? We even had a smiling, good natured customs inspector who couldn't stamp our passports and declarations fast enough. By the way...2 litres of rum cost me $17.95 U.S.

It was pouring rain and cold when we landed but the sun came out as we pulled into our park...120 happy travelers. I was going to take a nap but the pile of laundry I'd brought home forced me to haul it over to the laundry room.

Now my laundry is done and I'm off to a birthday party. Life is good.

Packing

I started packing today for this 4 day cruise I'm going on tomorrow. I made a list and checked it twice...or maybe 20 times. And then I began adding more things to the list. It's difficult to go away for 5 days total and not make sure you have extras in case of emergencies. Like...what if I get a spot on my top and need to change it...white pants can only be counted on staying white for a few hours...what if it's cooler than expected...what if it's warmer than expected...what if I eat too much at the buffet and need clothes that expand with me???

I don't worry too much about neglecting to pack extras when I travel just to the States but I'm not sure there's a Walmart in the Bahamas. My husband and I went to the Bahamas about 15 years ago and I remember not being able to afford the clothes I saw in stores then. Today I'm an old age pensioner and don't tend to shop in boutiques.

About the packing...I need 4 pair of shoes for the 5 days (counting the return trip back home). I need the sandals I'll wear most of the time, Crocs for the pool, navy sandals for the one dress up night on the ship, and loafers for I'm not sure what...but I'll have them there just in case. I will bet my life that the men are taking, at best, 2 pr. of shoes. I'm taking a bottle of rum (not allowed) and 6 cans of Diet Pepsi (allowed). I'm also taking an alarm clock, air fresheners, and a night light. No wonder my suitcase is filled to overflowing!

Oh yes, we women also need hairblowers and cosmetics. I've put so much stuff in the suitcase that my trailer is starting to look as though I'm packing to go back to Canada for the summer.

Well, after a few last minute jobs tomorrow morning I'll be off on a brand new experience in my life. Wish me Bon Voyage!

Perspective

There's a T.V. commercial that shows a couple of very sad young ladies standing at the rail of a cruise ship as it sets sail. The camera pans out to show why they're so unhappy...the ship is full of seniors.

As we seniors prepare for our cruise we also have nightmare worries. We're hoping against hope that our ship won't be filled with wild teenagers or screaming kids.

A Little Dose of Reality

I'm so thrilled to be going on my very first cruise this coming Sunday that I either forgot or chose to ignore the fact that I don't like being in deep water. I also don't like being in an enclosed space and our cabin will not have a window.

Before I become paranoid, I had to find a solution to my growing fears. Like the good trouper I am, I decided to have 2 or 3 strong drinks every night I'm on the ship so that I'll be happy as hell and not give a damn where I am.

See how easy it was to solve that problem??

Bad Hair Day

I woke up this morning with my hair literally standing on end...and it was late...and I had to put the garbage out immediately. I frantically threw on a robe and tried desperately to push my hair back against my head so I wouldn't scare the neighbors. As I rushed the garbage to the road I was thankful for the morning fog.

Women have always been fussy about their hair. When I see the odd lady with straggly, uncombed hair I just can't relate to her. I start fantasizing about her life. She must be depressed or have an abusive mate. She must have been brought up in a hovel and not know it's important to present a better image to the world. I just can't accept the fact that she might be happy with the state of her hair.

I remember the years of beehive hairdos. We'd spend hours spraying and backcombing our hair until it stood sometimes a foot above our scalp. Even when the hairstyle was completely straight we women didn't just wash and wear. We ironed it.

Men wet their hair and comb it out the same way every day of their lives. Of course they can't understand why women choose hairdos that take so long to fix before going out. Ever wonder why we do this to ourselves??

Back on Track

My last blog doesn't reflect the way I usually view the world. Just occasionally I get a little melancholy and wonder why things happen the way they do. For the most part I accept the ridiculous random occurrences in life and just carry on doing the best I can.

In my fairly long life I've learned that life doesn't always make sense. Many people die too young. Many suffer illnesses and cruelty. Many get away with murder.

But I've seen the exquisite beauty of a lavender rose sunset. I've watched my daughter's thin and tired dog lean against a wall to nurse her 10 puppies because to lay down might have crushed them. And every day in this senior park I watch an elderly couple, the wife only partially recovered from brain surgery, walk arm in arm down the road.

There is so much beauty hidden among the mundane and the nasty. If we allow ourselves to become too negative we miss what matters most in life.

My motto is to have as much fun as we can as long as we can. Just make sure you're not hurting another human being in your pursuit of a good time.

Now I'm on my way to Bingo so wish me luck!!

What Have I Done With My Life?

Every once in a while I become very introspective and wonder why I'm still here when others, younger or more useful, have passed away. That's the way I'm feeling this morning.

I've always been bright, if I do say so myself, but I was lazy as a child and never did reach my potential. I fell completely in love at 15 and married at 17. It wasn't until my third child was born a few months before my 24th birthday that I began to grow up and want something more in my life than wifehood and motherhood. This didn't mean that I loved my husband and children any less, it just meant that I'd finally recognized myself as a person in my own right.

I began taking correspondence courses to upgrade my pitiful education. As I sailed through lessons I felt as though my mind was unfurling, opening up and grasping every new concept. I once told my young grandson that you never stop learning your whole life and this has held true.

When I look back and remember all the highs and lows of my life, the best thing that ever happened to me was my children. But secondly was the step I took in my 20's to gain a better education for myself. One of my biggest regrets is that I dropped out of high school at 16, naively believing that I was as smart as I needed to be. How wrong I was.

My life has mainly been spent raising my children and often taking care of my grandchildren. I've saved no lives nor built any bridges. I realize that mine was a life partly wasted but maybe we could all say the same.

I can't change my past but I can try to make each new day I'm granted one where I bring a degree of happiness to people around me. Maybe these simple attempts on my part can make up for my earlier years. And maybe it makes my life worthwhile.

Doing it on my Own

I spent hours yesterday trying to get some yard work done. One of my projects was to dig up a half dead palm tree/bush of some sort. My trailer is situated on a busy corner right across the road from the clubhouse so I get lots of stop and talkers. I'd manage to do about 2 minutes work and then someone would stop by. By the time they left I'd have to go to the bathroom. The talking and pit stops took up so much of my time that an hour chore took up the whole morning.

What I accomplished in 4 hours: 1. pulled out 2 Mexican Heathers (shallow roots in sand). 2. planted 2 small Blue Daze in the same hole. 3. pulled out 1 little plant (name unknown) and replanted it. 4. removed concrete half circles from unwanted planted sections. 5. half removed the half dead palm tree/bush.

Where were all those stop and talkers when I couldn't get the palm tree root out?

Child Molestors

I have a theory about child molestors. Their minds are so badly damaged and distorted that they can never be normal again. Whatever has shaped their twisted thinking has made them permanently dangerous to the general population and they should be removed and kept isolated from the rest of us until the day they die.

I have many memories of "dirty old men" in my childhood who had to be kept at a distance. But there is one clear memory of being molested by my step father that I'll never forget. I was 4 years old. He was 22 years old and married to my mother who was 26 years old.

I lived with my grandparents but had been left alone in his care for some reason. He took me into the bedroom and made me touch him. I was just a baby and had no idea what was happening other than I felt a sense of something not being quite right. During the molestation my mother walked in the door and my memory of what happened next is blacked out. I do know she continued to live with him.

I can only hope that was the only incident because I have no memory of anything more. There has never been one moment when I blamed myself for what happened...many children who are molested believe they must share the blame.

This man sexually abused me as a small child, physically abused my mother, and later was imprisoned for disposing of his girlfriend's newborn baby in a garbage can. No one can tell me that man had any hope of living a normal life or being a safe member of his community. I believe he was able to do these horrible things because his mind had developed an accepting attitude towards depravity. He might learn more self control but the damage wouldn't be eradicated and he would always present a danger.

Molestors are most often men, but not always. They can be your priest or doctor , your hockey coach or teacher, your elderly neighbor or uncle, your friend's father or even a police officer. The disfunction can be anywhere.

My message to anyone reading this blog is that, if we really want to protect our children from sexual predators, we have to permanently remove them from society at the first infraction. They will harm again, and again, and again if set free.

Family Support

When we are young, most of us think we'll live forever. We think our lives will only become better as the years go by. Once we have children true reality settles upon us and we come to realize that life is tenuous. Our children develop illnesses that frighten us with their potential. Our own illnesses make us worry we won't survive to see our children grown. But life goes on and we deal with it in our own way.

I'm always harping on the strength of the family to help us survive life's catastrophes because I've lived long enough to know this is true. I've seen it over and over again in my own family and I'm grateful to the bottom of my heart for the wonderful family I've been blessed with.

My son-in-law had a cancerous kidney removed 13 months ago and recovered so well over the past year that we all thought he was one of the lucky ones. His last catscan showed a tumor lying between his liver and heart and will have to be treated with chemo and radiation because it's apparently too dangerous to remove surgically. David is 47 years old and the love of my daughter's life.

They are not alone. Both have very loving, supportive families to ease the pain of this new discovery and who will be beside them every step of the way. The Cancer Clinic in our home town is excellent (I had to learn this when my husband needed their expertise 2 years ago).

Being in a senior park, I'm surrounded by older people who have experienced everything that life has to offer and I often hear of people who are cancer survivors. One lady in particular has survived 3 separate cancers...esophagus, breast, and bowel. She walks daily at a pace to make me envious and has a very busy lifestyle. It's people like this who give us hope against this deadly disease.

As for my son-in-law, he'll receive the best medical treatment available and he'll also receive the love and support of his family. Only time will tell the rest of the story.

Coffee Morning

Betcha thought that retirees have no problem planning a coffee morning for their friends. Well, you'd be wrong. We're all so busy and involved in activities that I have to move my coffee morning all over the week to accommodate my friends.

This year we narrowed it down to Tuesday mornings because that was the least invasive to our lives. Anywhere from 6 to 10 ladies meet here on Tuesday mornings to drink coffee, talk, and a few bring their handwork. We have one rule...NO BITCHIN'. That doesn't stop us from getting into some pretty nasty gossip but it's always to make us laugh.

When I first began the coffee morning a few years ago some of the ladies felt obligated to bring goodies but we had to stop it because too much was left over at the end of the morning and I got stuck with it...guess where it went!

Today we're meeting inside my trailer instead of on the patio because it's a bit cool out. When we meet out on the patio a lot of the men stop by because they see a small gathering and want to join in. We don't encourage them, though, because they are sometimes the topic of discussion. Last year one of the men joined us but left quickly when one of the ladies brought up the subject of menopause.

Women don't carry on conversation in the same way when men are present. Some become girlish and flirty (icky in a senior) and some become more reserved. A group of women alone brings out the best in us and we can be ourselves. This holds true for women or girls of all ages. Sometimes we just have to bond together with members of our own sex and I'm sure men feel the same way.

True Story

6 of us went to Downtown Disney last night, sort of a goodbye get-together for Carole...she left this morning for home. My neighbor drove us and regaled us with jokes and funny true stories all evening. The following was one of them:

Ron's son was visiting the hospital nursery to see his newborn child when he noticed that the man standing next to him looked familiar. He watched him for a while and then said "Don't I know you from somewhere?". The man didn't answer so he spoke again. "You look like the priest who married me and my wife!"

The man finally answered "Yes, I was and I'm here because my wife just had a baby". Ron's son said goodbye and went back to his wife's room and told her "Honey, I'm not sure we're actually married".

True story!

Volunteer Work

A senior park has a paid staff but actually runs on volunteer work. In my park it's the volunteers that see we have group meals, games, and bus tours. It's the volunteers that see we have an ice cream social on Sunday evenings and it's the volunteers that decorate the clubhouse for every season. Without the volunteers we'd have a pretty dull park.

One of the ladies (Canadian)here will turn 90 in April so this is her last winter in the park because she won't be able to get out-of-country health insurance after the age of 90. What a shame because she is the 8th wonder of the world. She is witty, loving, and has a zest for life that we can all aspire to. Dorothy has been coming to this park for the past 28 years and it has become a second home to her...as it has to many of us. After her husband passed away her son and daughter-in-law began driving her down along with a small camper trailer which she'd happily occupy until they returned in April to drive her back. Last year they bought a permanent trailer which she'll stay in this year, her last year, and they'll use when they retire.

Dorothy uses a walker to get around but it doesn't stop her from being out every day visiting neighbors, playing card games over at the clubhouse, or joining a group for dinner at a restaurant. She's always the life of the party and loves the attention. She is my idol.

My sister-in-law and I have decided that part of our volunteer duties this winter will be to do a bit of housework for Dorothy once a week. One of the neighbors cooks meals for her already and a few others check on her regularly and make sure she gets home safely every night. Like a lot of us, she usually doesn't get home till after dark.

Dorothy will never read this because she's of an older generation that missed out on the joys of a computer. My wish for her is that she have the time of her life this winter and carry the happy memories with her to warm her in the coming years when she has to stay in Canada.

P.S. I finally got some sympathy of sorts for my sore knee from a lady who just arrived at the park. She nodded and looked quite sad as I described my injury in full detail...then said her husband had been foolish enough to do the same thing at the New Year's eve dance 2 years ago. It's not much but it's better than I've been getting.

Looking for Sympathy

I'm having a hard time gaining any sympathy for my injury. I'm limping around like an accident victim and as soon as people find out my knee injury was caused by dancing they have no sympathy for me. My close friends are the worse...they laugh.

All my life I have never suffered in silence. If I had a cold the whole world would know because I'd tell them. If I had the flu I'd make sure to milk every ounce of sympathy from anyone who would listen to me. God forbid that one of my few illnesses caused me to throw up because, not only would I phone people to inform them of the catastrophic event, but I'd also cry in deep sympathy for myself. My friend, Sylvia, derisively asked me how I was ever able to bear children. It was painful, very, very painful.

I'm also empathetic...I cry when I see someone else cry (sometimes people I don't even know). I can't watch the news if they present grieving relatives because it breaks my heart. I can't read newspaper articles about cruelty. I can't tolerate fighting either staged or real.

Since I have such a soft heart, doesn't anyone think I deserve a little sympathy for my damn sore knee???

Update on Knee and Noise

The knee is very slowly improving and I'm becoming more confident it will heal completely, thank heavens.

I apologized to a few neighbors about the noise on my patio into the wee hours of the New Year morning and all said they'd thought the noise was coming from another neighbor who is notorious for late night parties. I should have kept my mouth shut and let that neighbor take the blame. The up side is that my neighbors laughingly forgave me and still think I'm a nice person.

Tea Rooms

I wonder why women love to have lunch at tea rooms. It could be that very few men frequent a tea room and the ones that do look either whipped or gay. The noisiest table at a restaurant is always the one occupied by a group of women but put that same group of women in a tea room and they tone it down. They are influenced by the ladylike setting and attempt to prove they belong there.

6 of us ladies are having lunch at a tea room today and, having been there before, we know the food will be special...small but delicious portions of home made delicacies. The ladies who run this establishment must have attended a prestigious cooking school because none of us can pronounce the names of the entrees. No matter, we'll enjoy our meal immensely, then compliment the cook before we leave and she'll bask in the praise she justly deserves. That's what it's all about!

Never to Twist Again

My knee is slowly, very slowly mending and I've decided that my "twisting" days are over. Who ever would have thought that the day would come when I would have to censor a dance move? But when you become a senior you have to be practical about what parts of your body you abuse and the knee is like one of the gods you don't want to tamper with.

I spent all of yesterday terrified to place any weight on that darned knee because pain would shoot all over my body. It worried me that if it didn't start to heal soon I'd have to go back home to Canada and have it looked at by a doctor who would eat up my Florida time by sending me to one specialist and therapist after another.

Before bedtime last night I detected some improvemnt and this morning saw a marked improvement so I think I'll live to see the day I can toddle up to the pool. I'm going out today to buy one of those heat patches so I'm not confined to the end of a heating pad.

Getting older doesn't mean you have to give up everything you did when you were young but you do have to be sensible. I've got so many things I still want to do and enjoy and being sofa-bound with a sore knee doesn't fit into my plans.

Dancing Fool...The Morning After!

We had our annual New Year's Eve party at the clubhouse last night and I was a dancing fool. I think it began when the disc jockey played "That Old Time Rock and Roll". From there on in I forgot my age and danced like there was no tomorrow but, unfortunately, there was and is and my knee hurts like hell. I just may have to grow up a bit and act my age at the next party.

My roommate for the week, Carole, and I sauntered back to the trailer around 1:15 and sat outside in the still warm air to enjoy watching the stragglers head for home.

Mistake.

9 of the stragglers, including the disc jockey, decided it was continuing party time on my patio and stayed till after 3 A.M. We told jokes, drank (water for me by then) and made an unseemly amount of noise. I know I'm going to owe an apology to at least one neighbor.

All in all, it was such a wonderful way to start the new year, with friends and laughter. Now if only my knee would start to feel better!

I Wanna Work

Being an alien visitor to the United States doesn't bother me much until I hear about all the fun things that legal citizens of the country get to do that I can't. Quite a few people in my park here in Florida work part-time at Disney or one of the other theme parks...some as little as 3 weeks during the winter months. They receive only minimum wage but get terrific perks like free admission tickets, etc. A few of us aliens (Canadians) feel very left out since we're not allowed to work in the States.

An American friend is just finishing up his first week of employment and he told us that Universal Studios is desperate for part-time help. I decided to find out how hard it would be to acquire a visa which would allow me to work part-time. After checking on-line I decided that it would be a full-time job just taking all the steps required to obtain the damn visa. Universal is going to have to do without me until the United States government makes it a little easier for me to get a job. I don't want to take an executive position away from an American. All I want is a few hours a week to play (I mean work) at a theme park and then receive the perks.

No Sense of Direction

I have no sense of direction. Someone suggested I have a compass installed on my dash but it wouldn't help. Today I took my friend yard saleing and got just a little lost on an unknown road but had the good sense, being a woman, to stop at a gas station and ask for directions. I told the gentleman I was trying to reach Hwy 27 and he was kind enough to tell me I was heading right for it (surprise to me) but then he said "do you want to go north or south on Hwy 27?". Since I didn't know what road I was on at the moment, how could I know where it intersected Hwy 27?? I gave him a blank look and said I had no idea. He gave me that small, almost pitying smile that I seem to be seeing a lot lately. Slightly insulted, I thanked him for his help and drove away.

I'd buy a GPS if I didn't have to learn how to use it.

My Elvis Curtain

I'm having my basement remodeled and that includes my sewing room. Everything down there is going to be like brand new when it's done and I thought that my sewing room should have a little pizzazz so I've bought a beaded Elvis curtain for the closet door. It shows Elvis in black leather looking like he did when I was in my teens. What a glorious flashback!

My daughters have been rolling their eyes over my choice of decor but they have no idea what Elvis meant to the female poplulation in the late 50's and, acually, on up till the day he died in 1977.

I was 15 years old in 1955 and living in a rather stodgy world. Pat Boone was the new star and he was pretty boring. Then along came Elvis Presley. His crooked grin, blues/rock music, and suggestive moves appeared on the scene when most of us teenagers were dying for some excitement. I've loved him ever since.

When Elvis started doing Vegas and some movies he lost my attention just a bit but when he was aging and overweight he gained my love back because he had become vulnerable. It's sad to see a great star like Elvis not knowing when to rid himself of the flashy costumes and not-so-limber moves of his youth. But his voice improved every year and that grin was always the same.

One of Elvis' most endearing qualities was his politeness. From the day I first saw him on the Ed Sullivan show (pelvis blocked out), he remained polite, kind, and good humored in public. There was never any scandal associated with Elvis unless we take into account his addiction to prescription drugs. His downfall came from unethical doctors who overprescribed pain medication.

I'm proud of the fact that the largest Elvis festival is held each year in Collingwood, Ontario in Canada. We'll never forget you, Elvis.

Body Image

I received an e-mail recently that got me thinking about the way we perceive our own bodies. When we're very young we revel in our bodies...they carry us around, they feel soft, and they eliminate waste. Somewhere along the line our parents or society instill in us a feeling of embarrassment about our bodies.

When I was a teenager, before Women's Lib, I forgot to wear a bra one day and was horrified when I discovered my mistake. I was about 14 years old and had very little to put into a bra and what I had didn't move around at all but I had been conditioned to feel ashamed to be out in public without one. That was also the year I felt I should be wearing a girdle but, thank heavens, decided they were way too cumbersome and I was skinny.

Over the years, I went from being too skinny to too fat and felt that at one time I must have been perfect but never knew it. Women are the most critical of their bodies and see imperfections where there are none. Or, if there are, they're so minor that no-one else sees them.

I've watched my granddaughters, with perfectly unblemished skin, lather on makeup to cover it up. I've seen beauty pageant contestants with boob jobs. I've watched talk shows on T.V. which show horrific aftermaths of cosmetic surgery. The body we were born with is a miracle unto itself and yet we are never satisfied with it.

If all the "improvements" we made were for health reasons I could understand it but we women seem to be searching for a perfection that doesn't exist or even matter. It is pure and simple social conditioning that has gotten us to this point.

I read somewhere of a lady who was desperate to lose weight. She said she didn't want to be thin, she just wanted to be comfortable. Now, I can relate with that.

Hectic Retirement

I don't think that people still in the working world realize how hectic their lives can become when they're retired. I've been up since 4:45 A.M. and my day has been filled. Granted, it has been filled with fun and games but that still requires stamina.

I made a large pot of my noodle dinner and froze enough to feed me for 3 weeks when I'll have to cook again. Then I went over to the clubhouse for a game of chair volleyball...did a lot of stretching, chasing the ball, and laughing myself silly. Then I came home and finished an afghan I was making for a friend.

I watched T.V. for a short while and learned that the remote won't work when the sun is shining on the T.V. After an aborted attempt to have a nap (the phone rang), I gave up and got together 3 items to list on Ebay. With just enough time to shove a bowl of my noodle dinner down my throat, I headed back to the clubhouse to play Bingo. I won $34. It's been a tough day!

Death in the Family

My ex brother-in-law passed away on Xmas eve day. I've been getting e-mails and phone calls about his passing since then and we all seem to be trying to come to terms with losing someone who was a large part of our lives. My sister-in-law said that when she loses someone it's like a piece of her being torn away. Someone else said it brings the reality of our own mortality too close to home.

When someone I know dies, I feel as though the story of my life has been chipped away. Part of the story has ceased to exist in this world. I remember times we spent together, their laughter, their strength, and wonder how it can all come to a stop. There is more agony to the loss if it's a child or young person who had so little time here.

Those of us who believe in a hereafter are blessed with that comfort to carry us through the ordeal. And, as always, it's family and friends who will bond together to support each other and make sure we get through it.

Laundry

For some reason I like to do laundry. The house could be falling around my ears in dust and I'll ignore it and throw a load of clothes in the washer. Most mornings I'll toss in a load that doesn't even fill the washer. I love to analyze why I, or anyone else, does things but this has been a mystery to me since I acquired my first washing machine.

For many years we held an open house on Christmas eve. I'd spend all day cleaning and preparing for up to 50 guests and, just before the first one arrived, throw in a load of wash. I never even noticed this pattern until one Xmas eve my daughters giggled as I toted a pile of clothes to the basement at about 6:30. Ever since then I've wondered why I do this. Could it be a stress reliever?

Here in Florida I don't have my own washer and have to use the park laundromat. When I get here in October it takes a while for me to get over the urge to do laundry every day but having to pay $1.00 a load settles me down somewhat. Now I do laundry about twice a week when the hamper (a large one) is almost full. You can imagine how I'm feeling today with an overflowing hamper (Xmas interfered with my schedule) and drizzly rain keeping me from the laundromat.

I guess if I can't do my laundry I can write about it. Definitely a stress release!

Nude Posing

I'm not easily shocked anymore but I just found out that someone I know is earning a living by posing nude for an art class. I'm shocked.

A few questions come to mind...one thought up by a man with a dirtier mind than my own. When a man poses nude, what happens if it's cold and the drawing shows him to be less endowed than he is? What happens if he gets bored and starts thinking leud thoughts?

I've always wondered how long it takes for nudists to get used to seeing each other's bodies and become able to carry on a normal conversation. We are such a repressed society, even today's generation, and it almost seems impossible that we can train our brains to not have sexual thoughts when we see a member of the opposite sex naked.

I was on vacation in Antigua once and saw a vender on the beach surrounded by perhaps a dozen shoppers...all men except one woman who happened to be topless. The men weren't paying one bit of attention to the woman and I discovered later that they were European and used to seeing women topless on the beach.

Later I watched 2 Canadian men fall all over themselves in silent laughter and giddiness right after a beautiful young woman...topless...passed by them.

I guess it's a matter of mind conditioning that allows some of us to be so comfortable with our bodies that we see no shame or embarrassment in nudity. I'm too old to change so I'll be repressed for the rest of my natural life. But I don't want that for following generations. I want them to glory in the body they've been given to carry them around on this earth. I want them to feel free.

Xmas Day at the Senior Park

1. Up at 7 A.M. to shower and do hair.

2. Carole and Sheila came over and we went to the clubhouse to peel potatoes for
dinner. Clubhouse is filled with volunteers cooking, peeling, and talking.

3. Cleaned up the bags and candles from last night. Doris stopped by.

4. Phoned my sister and my girls. Reached one girl and a sister.

5. Carole came by again.

6. I made my devilled eggs for the Xmas dinner.

7. Carole came by once more.

8. Got dressed in something better than shorts and top.

9. Off to dinner at the clubhouse.

10. Clean up the clubhouse after dinner with merry volunteers.

11. Caravan of a few cars to tour the Disney hotels. Each hotel is decorated with
different themes for Xmas.

12. End of a day spent with many friends, with lots of laughter, and a terrific
Xmas dinner cooked by someone else.

One Xmas Eve Tradition

One Christmas morning when my children were aged 7 1/2, 6, and 2 1/2, I happened to notice in photographs that their pyjamas looked rather ratty. Thus began a tradition that lasted more than 30 years.

I would buy my daughters new pyjamas which I wrapped and placed under the tree. On Christmas eve they were allowed to open one present...the pyjamas...and this was all so they'd look nice for their Christmas morning photographs.

Over the years my daughters married and produced grandchildren for me. They all received nice new pyjamas to wear on Christmas eve, also. No more ratty looking kids for my Christmas morning pictures!

One year I noticed that buying pyjamas for my daughters and grandchildren was costing a heck of a lot of money so I quit cold turkey. These days I don't get to see them when they crawl out of bed on Christmas morning anyways...and I fear some of them don't even use pyjamas!!

Happy Xmas Eve

Before my husband and I retired to spend our winters in Florida our house was filled to the rafters with family and friends on Xmas eve. I worked part-time in Sears catalogue department at that time but during December worked almost full time hours. Between working at Sears, doing all of the Christmas shopping, preparing my house for up to 50 guests on Christmas Eve, plus serving Xmas dinner to 17 on Xmas day, December was always a hectic time for me.

One Xmas eve day stands out in my memory because it was the day I almost killed my husband. Dennis never helped with Xmas preparations but always chose to spend his day doing "man" things like relaxing in front of the T.V., playing his guitar, or (on this fateful day) putting together a huge model of a sailboat which spread all over my diningroom table.

I worked around him in a silent rage all day...occasionally reminding him that I needed to prepare the diningroom table for our company...it would serve as a buffet table. He ignored me and continued to fiddle with little pieces of balsa which would someday be the "Bluenose".

At 6 P.M. (company would arrive before 7 P.M.) my temper got the best of me and I told him in no uncertain terms to get his damn boat off my table. This quickly developed into a huge argument and, instead of hitting him over the head with a frying pan, I stormed out of the house and drove away. I hadn't reached the end of the street before I realized I couldn't just drive away when 50 people were going to be arriving at my house in less than an hour so back I went. I always wondered how many of our guests could sense the animosity I was feeling for my husband that night.

This Christmas eve, I will be going over to the clubhouse where we'll sing Christmas carols, watch a play put on by residents, and relax in the glow of friendship. Beats the hell out of slaving and fighting, doesn't it?

Rainy Xmas

We're going to have 4 days of rain which will cover Xmas eve and Xmas day. When it rains in Florida during the winter we snowbirds can't even complain out loud about the weather because someone is sure to say "well, we need it". I'm waiting to hear the complaint and the comment as we're being swept away Xmas day in a torrent of rain!

A friend is visiting till Jan. 7th so I'm shopping more than I'd like just to please her. Honest! Today we'll hit the flea market because it's under a roof and the rain shouldn't bother us. There's always something to do, rain or shine, and no-one to tell us we should stay home.

Bad Date

Before I start, don't worry my girls, the date wasn't mine!

My friend, who is 64 but looks 50, was asked out on a date by another senior who is kind of cute, rides a motorcycle, and seems to be an all around nice guy. They went off yesterday morning for a day at Cape Canaveral to see the space station and some of the other wonders of the Florida coast...shared costs.

At Bingo last night, in came my friend looking like I'd never seen her before...she was scowling. Apparently her date, who doesn't eat much, didn't consider that she might need lunch and dinner...all of which she planned to pay for herself. He reluctantly stopped for a quick lunch when she pressed him but at dinnertime said he needed to get home to watch "Jeopardy". They arrived back home just before 7 P.M. I don't think she'll go out with him again.

Today I'm going out with 3 other ladies (including the one mentioned) and we'll shop, laugh, eat, and have a hell of a good time. A man would probably hold us back!

Chair Volleyball

One of my friends here insisted on signing me up for chair volleyball. I was a little miffed because only old people would be involved in such a "sport", right? Well, this morning I was just putting away laundry when one of the ladies rushed in and told me a game was on and I was supposed to be there to play. Damn, I didn't want to go but duty called.

I walked into the clubhouse and saw a volleyball net (kind of low) with 6 people sitting in chairs on either side and batting a beach ball back and forth. I was honestly embarrassed for them...and then they made room for me! We played for about 1/2 hour and all of us had so much fun, laughing, and NEVER feeling foolish. A couple of little ones (visiting grandparents) joined us and they had as much fun as we did.

I'd never heard of this game before but now I can't wait to play it again. What a hoot!

Brag Blog

One of the most interesting things I do in Florida is to take an oil painting class, usually once a month. I began doing this about 3 years ago and my aim was to break the spirit of the instructor who claimed he could teach anyone to paint. I walked out of that class in shock and amazement with a painting that was close to beautiful. I still don't know how Tony, our instructor, could lead me through the steps to produce such a lovely painting.

Today we had 5 budding artists, one of whom was just like me and couldn't draw a straight line. Our goal was to paint an ocean scene with 1 or 2 palm trees (depending on how much nerve we had). I don't know if I could paint anything by myself but this experience has given me the confidence to try one day.

I'm thrilled with my painting because it will always remind me of the time I've spent in Florida. And the new artist? Well, she walked out with that same look of pride on her face...pleased beyond words with her accomplishment.

P.S. I tried adding a picture of my painting but it wouldn't go in. Either blog.com is faulty or I'm doing something wrong. My guess is it's me.

New Year's Resolution

I don't remember how old I was when I first started making New Year's resolutions but I do know that they've all been a promise to lose weight. I gave up the pretense for a few years because the resolution seemed to be broken at the first temptation, but this year I'm making a promise to myself that I won't eat potato chips in 2007. My other vice is french fries but I've left that to my discretion.

Isn't it nice that I only have 2 vices? People who know me would probably add a few more but I am only aware of the 2...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Old Pole Dancer

Ever wonder where aging pole dancers go when they get too old to mount the pole? Well, I went on the casino cruise today and watched a very elderly lady do her rendition of pole dancing.

When the casino cruise ship heads back to shore, we're treated to live entertainment in the form of a small band and singer. The dance floor often fills up with a few men and many more women. There are a lot of widows in Florida and we don't mind dancing with each other.

Today we watched a particularly agile older lady who got up and danced her heart out. For whatever reason, she began swinging around 2 posts on the dance floor but wasn't capable of wrapping her legs around them, thank heavens.

I couldn't help but wonder if this had been her occupation many years ago or if it was something she felt she'd missed out on when she was young.

People sure are interesting to watch, aren't they?

Toby Keith

I love country music but I adore Toby Keith. There's something so raunchy about his look and his sound that I'd listen to him if he sang opera...now that's a sight that's hard to envision.

Today I'm cooking dinner for my friend who arrived in Florida yesterday. I spent a whole 15 minutes cutting up chicken to put in the slow cooker, went over to the pool for 3 hours, and then another 15 minutes slaving over the microwave where I cooked Zatarain's black beans and rice. One of my friends said I should have a vegetable but I told her that's covered...onion flakes in with the chicken.

Back to Toby. After working so hard to prepare this gourmet meal I thought I'd listen to Toby while I waited for my friend to arrive. I'm glassy eyed and swooning right now. Dinner may have to wait until the CD is over.

Letters to the Editor

In my heart I'm a person who is better able to express herself in the written word than by the spoken word. I've often written letters to the editor of my local newspaper and had the odd one printed. The one that will be printed next is about MADD.

A few years back my sister and I thought that MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) would be a worthy charity to offer our volunteer services. We did this for about 2 years and then, at one of the meetings, were told by our speaker that a private source was going to place kiosks for donations to MADD at various locations. She went on to explain that the private source would keep 80% of the donations for their administration costs and MADD would receive the remaining 20%. My sister and I were so disgusted that we terminated our volunteer services that same day and I have refused to donate a penny to MADD since then.

Apparently the MADD executives are in dire straits these days and the organization is falling apart. What a shame that such a good cause should be jeopardized by poor leadership.

My advice to anyone donating their time or money to any charity is to find out what percentage of the money received is eaten up by administration. If that amount exceeds 20% it might be wise to choose another charity. I've written about "Kid's World" in Kissimmee and their administration cost 3 years ago (sorry, I'm not more up to date on that) was 7%. I once asked a telephone fund raiser the percentage that went to administration and he was highly offended, saying he couldn't possibly give me that information. I hung up.

Santa's Revenge

Have you ever wondered what words are spoken to your little one as he/she sits on Santa's knee? Years ago, when my firstborn grandson was 2 1/2, I took my little treasure to the mall to see Santa. Nicky toddled up the red carpeted walkway to the awaiting Santa and climbed up on his knee. I stood back behind a short picket fence allowing my brave little man his space and smiled lovingly as he and Santa sat in conversation too quiet for me to hear.

After a few moments, Nicky climbed off Santa's lap and walked back to me. He seemed a little quiet as I asked him what he'd told Santa he wanted. He rattled off a list and then I asked him what Santa had said to him. That sweet little boy looked up at me and replied, "He said get out of the mall, kid".

This has been a running joke in our family for 20 years and we've all tried to figure out what Santa actually said that could have sounded like that. We've also wondered if Santa had a bad day and those were the exact words he spoke. Hmmm!

Hormel Dinners

I hate to cook and found that the Hormel vacuum sealed dinners were a good alternative. I eat out most of the time so the odd time I do eat at home these dinners are fast and tasty. I usually buy the chicken or beef with gravy and mashed potatoes and the calorie count is about 230...very good!

A couple of days ago I cooked one in the microwave and found mold inside when I opened it. It had been purchased at Walmart possibly a month ago but these dinners normally keep for months. Instead of making the trip back to Walmart for a refund ($1.84), I decided to send an e-mail to the Hormel company. They replied within minutes and explained how somehow the vacuum seal must have been broken and promised to send me a refund.

This is a reputable company who has an interest in good customer service and it's nice to know they stand behind their product. I sent a reply to them thanking them for their quick response and told them I trust their product enough to keep using it. They certainly provided me with good customer service and it's paid off for them because here it is in my blog!

What is a Thief?

We were always taught to not touch anything that wasn't ours and that is so firmly ingrained in most of us that we'd never consider stealing. Sadly, there are too many people who have no conscience about taking what doesn't belong to them.

On a casino cruise, one of our ladies left her wallet with $300 in it on the reception counter of the ship. What would the chance be that the first person to pick that wallet up would be a thief? They were and she never recovered her property.

A criminal caught red handed stealing Christmas trees from a church lot in the middle of the night had no remorse. As he sat handcuffed in the police car, he drunkenly slurred into the reporter's camera saying "I was gonna give them $100 but I guess I just got there too early". The only $100 that low life ever had came from the welfare office and I doubt he'd spend it on a tree.

A lady here had her wallet slipped out of her purse while she left the check out at Sears. She'd paid for her purchase and didn't take the time to zipper up her purse because she didn't want to hold up the shoppers behind her in line. Well, the woman shopper directly behind her saw her opportunity and took it.

There seem to be two kinds of thieves...one steals when the opportunity presents itself and others go out on a mission to steal. Anything is fair game. I picture these thieves with tortured minds because conscience is a powerful regulator. It's difficult for me to accept the fact that their personal conscience might be wired so that they feel no shame for their actions. But their lifelong punishment is that they're saddled with an ugly mind.

When it Rains in Florida

The ladies and I are going shopping today because we're experiencing a drizzly rain all day. The men are going to play golf. Is there any question as to which sex is superior?

Roaches

Roaches are a fact of life in Florida but, until I retired and started spending my winters here, I'd never seen one. I'm not a fan of bugs of any kind and barely tolerate them in their natural habitat...outside!

When my husband and I bought this trailer he closed up every opening he could that bugs might find their way inside but the occasional roach still managed to gain entrance once in a while. I have a "bug" man who sprays here 12 months of the year but the little buggers still appear occasionally, usually dead or dying.

Last year my friend told me that she covers her floor heat registers with foil while she 's gone over the summer and never sees a roach. I followed her example last spring before I left and, lo and behold, almost no roaches. I decided that possibly they were coming in through the heat registers during the winter months, too, so I lined the underside of the registers with a fine cloth. I haven't seen one nasty little bug since I did this but I'm a little concerned with having cloth under the registers so I purchased some aluminum screening that I'll put in it's place.

Just a thought for other southerners who might have the same problem!

Seattle Airport Removes Xmas Trees

I'm beyond raving about the insanity of eliminating "Merry Christmas" from our vocabulary because now our public buildings might not be able to put up Christmas trees to celebrate the season. A lone rabbi complained that if a menorah was not displayed along with the Christmas trees in the Seattle airport he would sue the city. The airport management responded by removing the trees. Does this make sense to anyone? What would it have hurt to also display the menorah to celebrate the Jewish holiday? The result is that we'd all learn a little bit about each other's culture and that's a very good thing.

I do find fault with the rabbi who became the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas". He didn't need to threaten a lawsuit and his behaviour makes him a nasty little man.

We're a melting pot of races, religions, and cultures in Canada and the United States. It is to our benefit to learn more about each other. Seattle made the wrong decision in this case. And to the rabbi...shame on you!

A Capable Lady

I have a lady friend, my age, who is a "Jaqueline of All Trades". She's a single Mom who raised her two sons all by herself with no help from her estranged husband. She learned to fix appliances and do any repair work in the house. At one time she would buy houses and renovate them herself and then resell them for a profit. Opposites do attract and I consider her one of my dearest friends.

Carole is coming to stay in our park for 3 weeks and I know she'll be on the run the whole time. Since I'm sort of a laid back person I'm afraid she'll wear me out...but we'll have fun and I can always nap when she leaves.

Friends arrive in your life in some of the strangest ways. I believe it isn't coincidence and that you were meant to meet because you enrich each other's lives. I met Carole at a flea market back home where I saw her busily cleaning up her table. I'd thought it would be a good idea for me to also rent a table there because I love yard saleing and often come across terrific stuff which would sell well. I'm sort of shy and hate approaching strangers but I steeled myself and walked up to her. She was so nice and helpful, explaining how the flea market worked, and we quickly became good friends.

Our lives have been very different so we don't have background in common but we do share similar interests...like country music, eating out, live entertainment, having fun, etc! She's a genuinely nice person and I'm so happy to have her in my life. She thinks I'm okay, too!

Kid's World in Kissimmee

Kid's World in Kissimmee is an amazing place. It's a foundation started by one man, originally a poor immigrant to the United States who experienced the American dream by actually becoming a very rich man. He wanted to give something back to his adopted country and decided to create a place where terminally ill children and their families (from anywhere in the world) could spend 4 days at no expense and see all the Disney theme parks in Orlando.

Sometimes the families are very large, including grandparents or aunts and uncles...whoever lives in the same house as the special child. Their plane fare (or however they choose to make the trip) is paid for and they are given a fully equipped townhouse in the "Kid's World" complex. Cafeteria meals are provided free of charge or they can choose to eat at home. Inside the grounds is an assortment of carnival type rides, miniature golf, game rooms, computer rooms, pool, and even a movie theatre. Every morning Disney sends about a half dozen of their employees, dressed in character, to wander the park and play with the children. I prefer working in the Ice Cream Parlor where the guests can come in for hotdogs, sandwiches, or ice cream concoctions most any time of the day or evening...all free, of course. Free admission and transportation is provided to all the Disney parks.

Kid's World couldn't exist without the huge numbers of volunteers who happily offer their time and abilities to give the families the most wonderful experience of their lives. Many of the volunteers are seniors who still have so much to offer. I've also seen large groups of teens who came from as far away as Japan just to volunteer a week or two at this magical place.

I've seen some sad sights over the years but, above all, I've seen wonder and joy in the eyes of very sick children who are able to forget their illness for a while and just enjoy themselves. In my eyes, the parents are the true heroes because they manage to hold themselves together in order to make each day they have with their child a positive one.

The brothers and sisters of a terminally ill child often have to take a back seat in the family because the sick one needs the attention much more. At Kid's World, the siblings are also able to enjoy their vacation. Volunteer babysitters give the parents a night out on their own, too.

Seniors, who are still healthy and active, are valuable assets at Kid's World. The management treats us with respect and the families love us. When it comes right down to it, being allowed to volunteer there is a reward in itself.

Just a note...any donations to Kid's World would be welcome.

Mice in the Clubhouse

Apparently the unseasonably cold weather we've had might have chased the mice indoors. I have never seen a mouse in the park but I know they must be around, just like the snakes. One of the ladies was working in the kitchen at the clubhouse the other day and saw a mouse so she notified the men (we don't mind being sexist when the time is right) and they instantly went to work. They rigged traps all over the place and checked them religiously. Little posses of golf carts tear up to the clubhouse every hour on the hour and they scour the premises only to climb dejectedly back in their carts and go home. No mice! They're using humane traps that simply glue the offending mouse in place until the men can kill it another way.

The last I heard, the men had laced the little glue traps with peanut butter. Someone suggested we bring in a snake to catch the mice but he's still recovering in the hospital!

Buy A Gun For Christmas

Here I go with another complaint. I was listening to the radio in my car today and a lively Christmas commercial came on. A very happy young man was extolling the joys of giving and suggested that the perfect gift for your husband or wife would be a hand gun...no joke! He went on to describe a real spiffy sounding gun that any man or woman would be proud to own. I kept waiting for someone to say it wasn't true but that never happened.

We Canadians don't have much experience with guns as a rule. I knew one man (cop) who was practicing his quick draw and shot himself in the foot. I knew another man who went rabbit hunting and ended up with a poor dead rabbit that was so full of holes from the shotgun there was very little meat left. These are not the sort of people who should be handling guns so I hope their personal Santa isn't paying any attention to that stupid commercial.

Being a Woman Who's All Thumbs

I pulled out the lawnmower yesterday to cut the grass/weeds for the first time in a month. Grass/weeds grow very slowly in Florida at this time of the year. The last time I cut the grass the wheel fell off the mower so I now had a new wheel to put on first. I gathered what I thought were the appropriate tools...a few wrench looking things of various sizes...and managed to remove the old screw or nut. I then attached the new wheel with the screw/nut and discovered another screwy thing under the hole that also had to screw into the screw/nut. I couldn't hold onto it properly so the wheel was a bit loose. I left it like that and proceeded to mow the lawn.

Before too long the wheel fell off but now I couldn't find the 2nd screwy thing to attach the wheel to. I looked in the shed where my husband had all kinds of tools and screws but couldn't find anything that looked right. Thankfully a man was not too far away so I traipsed over and told him I needed help. He said "I know you do" and kindly came right over and fixed the mower using completely different tools than I had. He did everything I'd tried to do but he did it right. He didn't gloat but I had the distinct feeling that the tone of his voice was the same one you might use with a dimwitted child.

When I finished mowing the lawn I got out the trusty trimmer to finish the edges neatly and, in short time, the guard fell off. I couldn't even figure out how the damned thing had been attached in the first place so I tossed it away and finished trimming without it. Is it just me or am I working with crappy tools?

Next, I got out my new rope lights which I'd planned to put around the outside edge of the patio. I can't put up regular Xmas lights along the eavestrough because I'm afraid of heights...one step up on the step ladder is all I can handle. I had bought 2 sets of these lights and planned to connect them like their directions said I could. I sat for a while reading these directions and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to connect them...they have some kind of weird apparatus where it might possibly join them. With bare faced shame I gave up and just butted them together and used 2 extension cords at either end to plug in at either end of my trailer.

It's entirely possible that I'm dumb as a doorknob.

Replacing a Printer Cartridge

The average person doesn't consider replacing a printer cartridge to be a traumatic experience. I'm not your average person. I've watched with dread as my computer informed me constantly over the past few weeks that my printer is low on ink. So I bought the darned cartridge and will replace the old one when I get my nerve up.

Before I left Florida last spring I did what I thought was a clever thing. I took a picture of how the cartridges sit in the printer and printed it. Then I removed the cartridges and placed them in a baggy so they wouldn't dry out over the summer months. When I returned this past October I got the cartridges out of the baggy and, using my picture, attempted to replace them in the printer. They wouldn't go in. I looked at the picture again and couldn't quite figure out what I was looking at so I persevered and tried shoving the things in any way they might fit. They wouldn't go in.

After what seemed like forever, the cartridges finally fit in properly...but they didn't look like they had in the picture. Who cares! They work.

Now you know why I'm not anxious to venture there again too soon.

Beautiful Joyce is Going to be 75!!!

I just received an e-mail from my beautiful sister-in-law, Joyce, who mentioned that she will be 75 years old on her next birthday. Nothing drags you into old age faster than a contemporary getting there first. Joyce was, and still is, a real beauty and I guess I still see her as she was back in 1960 when we were both young and slim...and assumed we always would be. A lot of life experiences have occurred over the past 40-50 years and somehow we've managed to age a bit, too. One of the precious things that stayed the same in all those years is that we've remained loving sisters-in-law and good friends.

When I was in my teens I thought old people were really "old" and couldn't possibly have exciting, fulfilled lives. I've come to realize that we only feel our age when we hurt and, fingers crossed, we aren't hurting much yet. I think I laugh more and appreciate life more now than I ever did. With maturity comes wisdom and humility and we're old enough and smart enough to be thankful for these good years!

Merry Christmas, Please!

I raved about the stupidity of store clerks being unable to say "Merry Christmas" last year for fear of losing their jobs but now I'm mad as hell and won't take it any more. Just when I thought sanity might prevail now that Walmart allows it's employees to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays", I do a bit of shopping at the local dollar store and find they are still not allowed to wish their customers "Merry Christmas" because they've been told they'll be sued if they do. Has the world gone crazy?

I'd like to start a new movement that we all do our Christmas shopping ONLY at stores where "Merry Christmas" is plastered on the windows and spouted by the employees. If these stores want the billions of dollars spent on Christmas presents every year, then they'd better greet us appropriately. Of course, if they think they can survive without the Christmas market, let them try!

This is my New Year's resolution for 2007: If I don't see "Merry Christmas" in your ads starting next November, then you can say goodbye to my business. Am I going to be the only one standing up for our traditions?

Newfoundlanders are the Friendliest People

I hate to generalize but seem to do it more often than I care to admit. That said, I think that the people of Newfoundland are the friendliest group I've ever come across. A few years ago we went there for the first time to attend our niece's wedding. We crossed on the overnight ferry from Nova Scotia and landed on a cold, wet morning only to see nothing but a big ugly rock intersected by a highway. I remember wondering how anyone could live on such a barren island.

As we drove, the sun gradually burnt it's way through the fog as the rain passed on and I was finally able to see the beautiful landscape before me. The rugged rocks which surround you in Newfoundland really possess a beauty of their own...they stand solid and timeless, as though they've always been there and always will. Newfoundlanders build many of their homes on flat sections of the rocks, often with a wall of rock as their backyard. They also paint their homes in lovely shades of blue, or green, or red, or yellow...foregoing the drab shades of white and grey that mainlanders seem to prefer. I believe this is their way of adding color to an otherwise drab climate on the rock.

During that trip we toured the island a bit and one of my favorite memories is having lunch in a small fishing village and then wandering down to the wharf where a full crab boat had just docked. My husband asked them if we could buy some of their crab to take back to my sister-in-law's for the evening party and they were happy to oblige us. Remember I'm a born and raised Ontarian so I was expecting them to bring us processed crab...dead and packaged. They instead filled a few large bags with live crab which seemed to be intent on escaping back to the ocean. My husband and brother-in-law piled the bags into the trunk of the car and we drove home. The men cooked those little devils in a huge pot that evening and crab never tasted that good before or again.

We had planned to return to Newfoundland in the summer of 2005 and stay a whole month. We talked about renting a cottage in a fishing village and spending our days hanging out at the neighborhood pub with me writing the great Canadian novel at one of the tables. My husband would shmooze with the fishermen and we'd soak up all the local lore. Well, things don't necessarily work out the way we plan. My husband became ill the summer of 2004 and passed away within 12 months so we never were able to fulfill that little dream of living for a while on the rock. I still sometimes think about making that return trip but it wouldn't be the same now. Things change, circumstances change...but it would have been nice, wouldn't it?

Bragging Gramma

One of the rewards of being a Gramma is that you have bragging rights about your grandchildren. There is a universal code that grandparents can praise their grandchildren to the stars without anyone thinking ill of them. I can listen for hours as a Gramma or Grampa tells one and all about how their special grandchild is superior in all ways to every other child alive. When they're finished, I know they'll listen politely as I explain how my own grandchildren are equally special and wonderful. Somehow this works best when only grandparents are involved because younger audiences tend to develop a glaze over their eyes if you go on too long.

I'm spending a week with my youngest daughter's family and her children are absolute treasures. Their father is of Cuban heritage so they have the most beautiful skin coloring of anyone in the rest of our family. They're also just too beautiful to look at for extended periods of time. Did I mention that they are 3 of the best behaved children in the world??

I took the 2 girls (aged 15 1/2 and 14 1/4) out for dinner last night and spent most of the time listening to the oldest's views on religion, politics, human psychology, and the unfairness of not being allowed to date until she's 16. I could have drowned in her beautiful face just watching how animated and serious she was as she exposed her soul to me. I couldn't help but think that this is what life is all about...to see your progeny in full bloom. And this one is even writing a book!

Coley, the younger girl, was just as chatty until her older sister took over the conversation. I didn't realize until later that she'd been unceremoniously shunted to the side while I listened in rapture to her sibling. No problem! Grandchildren have much lower expectations of their grandparents than they do their parents so I was easily forgiven when, back home, I called her to my side and we cuddled while I gave her my total attention. The 2 sisters are outstanding beauties but have very different personalities. Lisette is dramatic and intent while Coley is quieter with a terrific sense of humor. I think they are absolutely precious!

Just so no-one gets the impression that I've ignored my sweet little grandson...he had an upset stomache so couldn't go out for dinner with us. Now he's something very special too! He's so cute that little girls fall all over themselves when he's around (it's the Cuban genes). He's so smart that it's almost scary. I took him out for a belated birthday trip on Saturday and he spent the day enthralling me with stories of his view of the world. He's smarter than me so I have to take his every word as gospel.

Please forgive me as I go on and on about these kids. I'm on grandparent overdrive right now...any grandparent will understand. For those of you who haven't yet reached "grandparent" status...your time will come!

Adele Passed Away

I wrote a while back about a wonderful 93 year old lady named Adele who was such an inspiration to us all. Unfortunately, she quickly developed pneumonia and passed away yesterday. My last memory of her will always be her smiling face last Thursday at Thanksgiving dinner...so full of happiness to be where she was and surrounded by friends. The very next day she was admitted to the hospital.

Someone told me yesterday that Adele had to have her ladder confiscated last year because she insisted in climbing up it to clean out her eavestrough. Undaunted, she dragged her picnic table over to the house and climbed up on it to do the job. Everything I hear about this lady reminds me of the same strength and perseverance I saw in my mother-in-law. They never let age stop them from doing what they wanted to do. And maybe that's the secret of long life.

Goodbye Adele...we're all going to miss you.

2 Blogs in a Day

I still slightly have my cold so I can't go out and play with my friends. If the cold isn't all gone by tomorrow, I say to hell with them and I'm joining them anyway on the bus to the casino cruise at Cape Canaveral. Now I feel guilty!

The truth be known, I really am a very considerate person and have mainly kept my distance from people since I caught this cold but, since I'm not actually sick, there have been a few times I gave in and joined the crowd. My friends don't seem as concerned about my germs as I am because they keep coming in and visiting me. Thank heavens for that because being alone for too long inside a little trailer isn't pleasant...hence the 2 blogs in a day.

All that remains of my short illness is a tickle in my throat so another night of binge drinking water should flush the last living germ out. I hope!

Got a Cold

It amazes me that a person can feel perfectly healthy one moment and the next have a scratchy throat. Saturday had been it's usual busy day with coffee in the clubhouse in the morning, a bit of shopping in the late morning, sunbathing at the pool in the afternoon, dinner with 15 friends at another friend's trailer, and then home to discover my throat felt funny. This is the first cold I've had in a few years and I'd begun to believe I might be invincible. No such luck! I developed a slight cough and my head started to feel as though it would explode. I immediately started my husband's cure for a cold...gallons of water.

Sunday morning I felt well enough to go out for breakfast with friends but ended up sleeping most of the afternoon and went to bed at 9:30 P.M. This morning I feel human again even though I was up half the night going to the bathroom...result of drinking gallons of water.

We're all in such close proximity to one another here and germs don't have to roam too far before they find a new host. There is a large gathering at the clubhouse almost every day so it's kind of interesting that more of us don't get sick. The other factor is that we're seniors but, apparently, pretty darned healthy seniors.

Anyway, I don't have time to be sick for long because I have too much to do...like play games, swim, shop, etc., etc., etc.