New Year's Resolution

I don't remember how old I was when I first started making New Year's resolutions but I do know that they've all been a promise to lose weight. I gave up the pretense for a few years because the resolution seemed to be broken at the first temptation, but this year I'm making a promise to myself that I won't eat potato chips in 2007. My other vice is french fries but I've left that to my discretion.

Isn't it nice that I only have 2 vices? People who know me would probably add a few more but I am only aware of the 2...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Old Pole Dancer

Ever wonder where aging pole dancers go when they get too old to mount the pole? Well, I went on the casino cruise today and watched a very elderly lady do her rendition of pole dancing.

When the casino cruise ship heads back to shore, we're treated to live entertainment in the form of a small band and singer. The dance floor often fills up with a few men and many more women. There are a lot of widows in Florida and we don't mind dancing with each other.

Today we watched a particularly agile older lady who got up and danced her heart out. For whatever reason, she began swinging around 2 posts on the dance floor but wasn't capable of wrapping her legs around them, thank heavens.

I couldn't help but wonder if this had been her occupation many years ago or if it was something she felt she'd missed out on when she was young.

People sure are interesting to watch, aren't they?

Toby Keith

I love country music but I adore Toby Keith. There's something so raunchy about his look and his sound that I'd listen to him if he sang opera...now that's a sight that's hard to envision.

Today I'm cooking dinner for my friend who arrived in Florida yesterday. I spent a whole 15 minutes cutting up chicken to put in the slow cooker, went over to the pool for 3 hours, and then another 15 minutes slaving over the microwave where I cooked Zatarain's black beans and rice. One of my friends said I should have a vegetable but I told her that's covered...onion flakes in with the chicken.

Back to Toby. After working so hard to prepare this gourmet meal I thought I'd listen to Toby while I waited for my friend to arrive. I'm glassy eyed and swooning right now. Dinner may have to wait until the CD is over.

Letters to the Editor

In my heart I'm a person who is better able to express herself in the written word than by the spoken word. I've often written letters to the editor of my local newspaper and had the odd one printed. The one that will be printed next is about MADD.

A few years back my sister and I thought that MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) would be a worthy charity to offer our volunteer services. We did this for about 2 years and then, at one of the meetings, were told by our speaker that a private source was going to place kiosks for donations to MADD at various locations. She went on to explain that the private source would keep 80% of the donations for their administration costs and MADD would receive the remaining 20%. My sister and I were so disgusted that we terminated our volunteer services that same day and I have refused to donate a penny to MADD since then.

Apparently the MADD executives are in dire straits these days and the organization is falling apart. What a shame that such a good cause should be jeopardized by poor leadership.

My advice to anyone donating their time or money to any charity is to find out what percentage of the money received is eaten up by administration. If that amount exceeds 20% it might be wise to choose another charity. I've written about "Kid's World" in Kissimmee and their administration cost 3 years ago (sorry, I'm not more up to date on that) was 7%. I once asked a telephone fund raiser the percentage that went to administration and he was highly offended, saying he couldn't possibly give me that information. I hung up.

Santa's Revenge

Have you ever wondered what words are spoken to your little one as he/she sits on Santa's knee? Years ago, when my firstborn grandson was 2 1/2, I took my little treasure to the mall to see Santa. Nicky toddled up the red carpeted walkway to the awaiting Santa and climbed up on his knee. I stood back behind a short picket fence allowing my brave little man his space and smiled lovingly as he and Santa sat in conversation too quiet for me to hear.

After a few moments, Nicky climbed off Santa's lap and walked back to me. He seemed a little quiet as I asked him what he'd told Santa he wanted. He rattled off a list and then I asked him what Santa had said to him. That sweet little boy looked up at me and replied, "He said get out of the mall, kid".

This has been a running joke in our family for 20 years and we've all tried to figure out what Santa actually said that could have sounded like that. We've also wondered if Santa had a bad day and those were the exact words he spoke. Hmmm!

Hormel Dinners

I hate to cook and found that the Hormel vacuum sealed dinners were a good alternative. I eat out most of the time so the odd time I do eat at home these dinners are fast and tasty. I usually buy the chicken or beef with gravy and mashed potatoes and the calorie count is about 230...very good!

A couple of days ago I cooked one in the microwave and found mold inside when I opened it. It had been purchased at Walmart possibly a month ago but these dinners normally keep for months. Instead of making the trip back to Walmart for a refund ($1.84), I decided to send an e-mail to the Hormel company. They replied within minutes and explained how somehow the vacuum seal must have been broken and promised to send me a refund.

This is a reputable company who has an interest in good customer service and it's nice to know they stand behind their product. I sent a reply to them thanking them for their quick response and told them I trust their product enough to keep using it. They certainly provided me with good customer service and it's paid off for them because here it is in my blog!

What is a Thief?

We were always taught to not touch anything that wasn't ours and that is so firmly ingrained in most of us that we'd never consider stealing. Sadly, there are too many people who have no conscience about taking what doesn't belong to them.

On a casino cruise, one of our ladies left her wallet with $300 in it on the reception counter of the ship. What would the chance be that the first person to pick that wallet up would be a thief? They were and she never recovered her property.

A criminal caught red handed stealing Christmas trees from a church lot in the middle of the night had no remorse. As he sat handcuffed in the police car, he drunkenly slurred into the reporter's camera saying "I was gonna give them $100 but I guess I just got there too early". The only $100 that low life ever had came from the welfare office and I doubt he'd spend it on a tree.

A lady here had her wallet slipped out of her purse while she left the check out at Sears. She'd paid for her purchase and didn't take the time to zipper up her purse because she didn't want to hold up the shoppers behind her in line. Well, the woman shopper directly behind her saw her opportunity and took it.

There seem to be two kinds of thieves...one steals when the opportunity presents itself and others go out on a mission to steal. Anything is fair game. I picture these thieves with tortured minds because conscience is a powerful regulator. It's difficult for me to accept the fact that their personal conscience might be wired so that they feel no shame for their actions. But their lifelong punishment is that they're saddled with an ugly mind.

When it Rains in Florida

The ladies and I are going shopping today because we're experiencing a drizzly rain all day. The men are going to play golf. Is there any question as to which sex is superior?

Roaches

Roaches are a fact of life in Florida but, until I retired and started spending my winters here, I'd never seen one. I'm not a fan of bugs of any kind and barely tolerate them in their natural habitat...outside!

When my husband and I bought this trailer he closed up every opening he could that bugs might find their way inside but the occasional roach still managed to gain entrance once in a while. I have a "bug" man who sprays here 12 months of the year but the little buggers still appear occasionally, usually dead or dying.

Last year my friend told me that she covers her floor heat registers with foil while she 's gone over the summer and never sees a roach. I followed her example last spring before I left and, lo and behold, almost no roaches. I decided that possibly they were coming in through the heat registers during the winter months, too, so I lined the underside of the registers with a fine cloth. I haven't seen one nasty little bug since I did this but I'm a little concerned with having cloth under the registers so I purchased some aluminum screening that I'll put in it's place.

Just a thought for other southerners who might have the same problem!

Seattle Airport Removes Xmas Trees

I'm beyond raving about the insanity of eliminating "Merry Christmas" from our vocabulary because now our public buildings might not be able to put up Christmas trees to celebrate the season. A lone rabbi complained that if a menorah was not displayed along with the Christmas trees in the Seattle airport he would sue the city. The airport management responded by removing the trees. Does this make sense to anyone? What would it have hurt to also display the menorah to celebrate the Jewish holiday? The result is that we'd all learn a little bit about each other's culture and that's a very good thing.

I do find fault with the rabbi who became the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas". He didn't need to threaten a lawsuit and his behaviour makes him a nasty little man.

We're a melting pot of races, religions, and cultures in Canada and the United States. It is to our benefit to learn more about each other. Seattle made the wrong decision in this case. And to the rabbi...shame on you!

A Capable Lady

I have a lady friend, my age, who is a "Jaqueline of All Trades". She's a single Mom who raised her two sons all by herself with no help from her estranged husband. She learned to fix appliances and do any repair work in the house. At one time she would buy houses and renovate them herself and then resell them for a profit. Opposites do attract and I consider her one of my dearest friends.

Carole is coming to stay in our park for 3 weeks and I know she'll be on the run the whole time. Since I'm sort of a laid back person I'm afraid she'll wear me out...but we'll have fun and I can always nap when she leaves.

Friends arrive in your life in some of the strangest ways. I believe it isn't coincidence and that you were meant to meet because you enrich each other's lives. I met Carole at a flea market back home where I saw her busily cleaning up her table. I'd thought it would be a good idea for me to also rent a table there because I love yard saleing and often come across terrific stuff which would sell well. I'm sort of shy and hate approaching strangers but I steeled myself and walked up to her. She was so nice and helpful, explaining how the flea market worked, and we quickly became good friends.

Our lives have been very different so we don't have background in common but we do share similar interests...like country music, eating out, live entertainment, having fun, etc! She's a genuinely nice person and I'm so happy to have her in my life. She thinks I'm okay, too!

Kid's World in Kissimmee

Kid's World in Kissimmee is an amazing place. It's a foundation started by one man, originally a poor immigrant to the United States who experienced the American dream by actually becoming a very rich man. He wanted to give something back to his adopted country and decided to create a place where terminally ill children and their families (from anywhere in the world) could spend 4 days at no expense and see all the Disney theme parks in Orlando.

Sometimes the families are very large, including grandparents or aunts and uncles...whoever lives in the same house as the special child. Their plane fare (or however they choose to make the trip) is paid for and they are given a fully equipped townhouse in the "Kid's World" complex. Cafeteria meals are provided free of charge or they can choose to eat at home. Inside the grounds is an assortment of carnival type rides, miniature golf, game rooms, computer rooms, pool, and even a movie theatre. Every morning Disney sends about a half dozen of their employees, dressed in character, to wander the park and play with the children. I prefer working in the Ice Cream Parlor where the guests can come in for hotdogs, sandwiches, or ice cream concoctions most any time of the day or evening...all free, of course. Free admission and transportation is provided to all the Disney parks.

Kid's World couldn't exist without the huge numbers of volunteers who happily offer their time and abilities to give the families the most wonderful experience of their lives. Many of the volunteers are seniors who still have so much to offer. I've also seen large groups of teens who came from as far away as Japan just to volunteer a week or two at this magical place.

I've seen some sad sights over the years but, above all, I've seen wonder and joy in the eyes of very sick children who are able to forget their illness for a while and just enjoy themselves. In my eyes, the parents are the true heroes because they manage to hold themselves together in order to make each day they have with their child a positive one.

The brothers and sisters of a terminally ill child often have to take a back seat in the family because the sick one needs the attention much more. At Kid's World, the siblings are also able to enjoy their vacation. Volunteer babysitters give the parents a night out on their own, too.

Seniors, who are still healthy and active, are valuable assets at Kid's World. The management treats us with respect and the families love us. When it comes right down to it, being allowed to volunteer there is a reward in itself.

Just a note...any donations to Kid's World would be welcome.

Mice in the Clubhouse

Apparently the unseasonably cold weather we've had might have chased the mice indoors. I have never seen a mouse in the park but I know they must be around, just like the snakes. One of the ladies was working in the kitchen at the clubhouse the other day and saw a mouse so she notified the men (we don't mind being sexist when the time is right) and they instantly went to work. They rigged traps all over the place and checked them religiously. Little posses of golf carts tear up to the clubhouse every hour on the hour and they scour the premises only to climb dejectedly back in their carts and go home. No mice! They're using humane traps that simply glue the offending mouse in place until the men can kill it another way.

The last I heard, the men had laced the little glue traps with peanut butter. Someone suggested we bring in a snake to catch the mice but he's still recovering in the hospital!

Buy A Gun For Christmas

Here I go with another complaint. I was listening to the radio in my car today and a lively Christmas commercial came on. A very happy young man was extolling the joys of giving and suggested that the perfect gift for your husband or wife would be a hand gun...no joke! He went on to describe a real spiffy sounding gun that any man or woman would be proud to own. I kept waiting for someone to say it wasn't true but that never happened.

We Canadians don't have much experience with guns as a rule. I knew one man (cop) who was practicing his quick draw and shot himself in the foot. I knew another man who went rabbit hunting and ended up with a poor dead rabbit that was so full of holes from the shotgun there was very little meat left. These are not the sort of people who should be handling guns so I hope their personal Santa isn't paying any attention to that stupid commercial.

Being a Woman Who's All Thumbs

I pulled out the lawnmower yesterday to cut the grass/weeds for the first time in a month. Grass/weeds grow very slowly in Florida at this time of the year. The last time I cut the grass the wheel fell off the mower so I now had a new wheel to put on first. I gathered what I thought were the appropriate tools...a few wrench looking things of various sizes...and managed to remove the old screw or nut. I then attached the new wheel with the screw/nut and discovered another screwy thing under the hole that also had to screw into the screw/nut. I couldn't hold onto it properly so the wheel was a bit loose. I left it like that and proceeded to mow the lawn.

Before too long the wheel fell off but now I couldn't find the 2nd screwy thing to attach the wheel to. I looked in the shed where my husband had all kinds of tools and screws but couldn't find anything that looked right. Thankfully a man was not too far away so I traipsed over and told him I needed help. He said "I know you do" and kindly came right over and fixed the mower using completely different tools than I had. He did everything I'd tried to do but he did it right. He didn't gloat but I had the distinct feeling that the tone of his voice was the same one you might use with a dimwitted child.

When I finished mowing the lawn I got out the trusty trimmer to finish the edges neatly and, in short time, the guard fell off. I couldn't even figure out how the damned thing had been attached in the first place so I tossed it away and finished trimming without it. Is it just me or am I working with crappy tools?

Next, I got out my new rope lights which I'd planned to put around the outside edge of the patio. I can't put up regular Xmas lights along the eavestrough because I'm afraid of heights...one step up on the step ladder is all I can handle. I had bought 2 sets of these lights and planned to connect them like their directions said I could. I sat for a while reading these directions and couldn't for the life of me figure out how to connect them...they have some kind of weird apparatus where it might possibly join them. With bare faced shame I gave up and just butted them together and used 2 extension cords at either end to plug in at either end of my trailer.

It's entirely possible that I'm dumb as a doorknob.

Replacing a Printer Cartridge

The average person doesn't consider replacing a printer cartridge to be a traumatic experience. I'm not your average person. I've watched with dread as my computer informed me constantly over the past few weeks that my printer is low on ink. So I bought the darned cartridge and will replace the old one when I get my nerve up.

Before I left Florida last spring I did what I thought was a clever thing. I took a picture of how the cartridges sit in the printer and printed it. Then I removed the cartridges and placed them in a baggy so they wouldn't dry out over the summer months. When I returned this past October I got the cartridges out of the baggy and, using my picture, attempted to replace them in the printer. They wouldn't go in. I looked at the picture again and couldn't quite figure out what I was looking at so I persevered and tried shoving the things in any way they might fit. They wouldn't go in.

After what seemed like forever, the cartridges finally fit in properly...but they didn't look like they had in the picture. Who cares! They work.

Now you know why I'm not anxious to venture there again too soon.

Beautiful Joyce is Going to be 75!!!

I just received an e-mail from my beautiful sister-in-law, Joyce, who mentioned that she will be 75 years old on her next birthday. Nothing drags you into old age faster than a contemporary getting there first. Joyce was, and still is, a real beauty and I guess I still see her as she was back in 1960 when we were both young and slim...and assumed we always would be. A lot of life experiences have occurred over the past 40-50 years and somehow we've managed to age a bit, too. One of the precious things that stayed the same in all those years is that we've remained loving sisters-in-law and good friends.

When I was in my teens I thought old people were really "old" and couldn't possibly have exciting, fulfilled lives. I've come to realize that we only feel our age when we hurt and, fingers crossed, we aren't hurting much yet. I think I laugh more and appreciate life more now than I ever did. With maturity comes wisdom and humility and we're old enough and smart enough to be thankful for these good years!

Merry Christmas, Please!

I raved about the stupidity of store clerks being unable to say "Merry Christmas" last year for fear of losing their jobs but now I'm mad as hell and won't take it any more. Just when I thought sanity might prevail now that Walmart allows it's employees to say "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays", I do a bit of shopping at the local dollar store and find they are still not allowed to wish their customers "Merry Christmas" because they've been told they'll be sued if they do. Has the world gone crazy?

I'd like to start a new movement that we all do our Christmas shopping ONLY at stores where "Merry Christmas" is plastered on the windows and spouted by the employees. If these stores want the billions of dollars spent on Christmas presents every year, then they'd better greet us appropriately. Of course, if they think they can survive without the Christmas market, let them try!

This is my New Year's resolution for 2007: If I don't see "Merry Christmas" in your ads starting next November, then you can say goodbye to my business. Am I going to be the only one standing up for our traditions?

Newfoundlanders are the Friendliest People

I hate to generalize but seem to do it more often than I care to admit. That said, I think that the people of Newfoundland are the friendliest group I've ever come across. A few years ago we went there for the first time to attend our niece's wedding. We crossed on the overnight ferry from Nova Scotia and landed on a cold, wet morning only to see nothing but a big ugly rock intersected by a highway. I remember wondering how anyone could live on such a barren island.

As we drove, the sun gradually burnt it's way through the fog as the rain passed on and I was finally able to see the beautiful landscape before me. The rugged rocks which surround you in Newfoundland really possess a beauty of their own...they stand solid and timeless, as though they've always been there and always will. Newfoundlanders build many of their homes on flat sections of the rocks, often with a wall of rock as their backyard. They also paint their homes in lovely shades of blue, or green, or red, or yellow...foregoing the drab shades of white and grey that mainlanders seem to prefer. I believe this is their way of adding color to an otherwise drab climate on the rock.

During that trip we toured the island a bit and one of my favorite memories is having lunch in a small fishing village and then wandering down to the wharf where a full crab boat had just docked. My husband asked them if we could buy some of their crab to take back to my sister-in-law's for the evening party and they were happy to oblige us. Remember I'm a born and raised Ontarian so I was expecting them to bring us processed crab...dead and packaged. They instead filled a few large bags with live crab which seemed to be intent on escaping back to the ocean. My husband and brother-in-law piled the bags into the trunk of the car and we drove home. The men cooked those little devils in a huge pot that evening and crab never tasted that good before or again.

We had planned to return to Newfoundland in the summer of 2005 and stay a whole month. We talked about renting a cottage in a fishing village and spending our days hanging out at the neighborhood pub with me writing the great Canadian novel at one of the tables. My husband would shmooze with the fishermen and we'd soak up all the local lore. Well, things don't necessarily work out the way we plan. My husband became ill the summer of 2004 and passed away within 12 months so we never were able to fulfill that little dream of living for a while on the rock. I still sometimes think about making that return trip but it wouldn't be the same now. Things change, circumstances change...but it would have been nice, wouldn't it?

Bragging Gramma

One of the rewards of being a Gramma is that you have bragging rights about your grandchildren. There is a universal code that grandparents can praise their grandchildren to the stars without anyone thinking ill of them. I can listen for hours as a Gramma or Grampa tells one and all about how their special grandchild is superior in all ways to every other child alive. When they're finished, I know they'll listen politely as I explain how my own grandchildren are equally special and wonderful. Somehow this works best when only grandparents are involved because younger audiences tend to develop a glaze over their eyes if you go on too long.

I'm spending a week with my youngest daughter's family and her children are absolute treasures. Their father is of Cuban heritage so they have the most beautiful skin coloring of anyone in the rest of our family. They're also just too beautiful to look at for extended periods of time. Did I mention that they are 3 of the best behaved children in the world??

I took the 2 girls (aged 15 1/2 and 14 1/4) out for dinner last night and spent most of the time listening to the oldest's views on religion, politics, human psychology, and the unfairness of not being allowed to date until she's 16. I could have drowned in her beautiful face just watching how animated and serious she was as she exposed her soul to me. I couldn't help but think that this is what life is all about...to see your progeny in full bloom. And this one is even writing a book!

Coley, the younger girl, was just as chatty until her older sister took over the conversation. I didn't realize until later that she'd been unceremoniously shunted to the side while I listened in rapture to her sibling. No problem! Grandchildren have much lower expectations of their grandparents than they do their parents so I was easily forgiven when, back home, I called her to my side and we cuddled while I gave her my total attention. The 2 sisters are outstanding beauties but have very different personalities. Lisette is dramatic and intent while Coley is quieter with a terrific sense of humor. I think they are absolutely precious!

Just so no-one gets the impression that I've ignored my sweet little grandson...he had an upset stomache so couldn't go out for dinner with us. Now he's something very special too! He's so cute that little girls fall all over themselves when he's around (it's the Cuban genes). He's so smart that it's almost scary. I took him out for a belated birthday trip on Saturday and he spent the day enthralling me with stories of his view of the world. He's smarter than me so I have to take his every word as gospel.

Please forgive me as I go on and on about these kids. I'm on grandparent overdrive right now...any grandparent will understand. For those of you who haven't yet reached "grandparent" status...your time will come!