The Pollingtons Are Gone

I don't remember the year this all unfolded but it would be hard not to find a sadder or more gruesome story. It was the year Jon Rallo murdered his wife, son, and daughter but only his wife's and daughter's bodies have been recovered. It was more the age of the children that shocked us all because they were about 6 & 8, as I recall. It's too bad but we're almost getting used to husbands murdering their wives.

Sandra Rallo's parents, the Pollingtons, were instrumental in keeping Jon Rallo imprisoned for a long, long time by going to his parole hearings and speaking of how the murders had impacted their family. Rallo never admitted to the murders nor did he tell anyone where his son's body could be found and given a proper burial.

Mr. and Mrs. Pollington passed away this week, one day apart and from different reasons. Mrs. Pollington had developed Alzeimers so maybe the misery that become her life after her daughter and grandchildren were murdered had lessened along with the memories. Mr. Pollington's mind had remained sharp and he undoubtedly would have hounded Jon Rallo till the end of time if he could have.

Jon Rallo is still alive and I believe he's walking free these days. No, life isn't always fair but sometimes the real penalty for evil is much worse than what we human beings can place on a monster.

Handicap Tag

I decided yesterday to apply for a handicap tag for my car. My knees are never going to be perfect again and, even though they're not really bad now, I think it's wise to get that tag. There are times when my knee has hurt pretty bad and I've had to park at the back of a parking lot and I figure it's stupid to keep doing that.

I drove to one of the 2 Department of Transport offices that used to be on the mountain only to find that it was permanently closed but it did give the address of the other office that I knew was already permanently closed. Well paid government workers who apparently aren't earning their salaries!!! Anyway, I gave up and called Kim to ask her to pick up an application form for me when she went for her car tags. The sweet girl did so and brought it to me last evening.

My camera stopped working this morning so I brought out the spare. After fiddling around with it, I thought that maybe it was the rechargable battery that might be at fault and, lo and behold, that seems to be my problem. I also had a spare battery which I installed and it's now working well. It also gave me the opportunity to combine the contents of 2 camera accessory boxes into 1 and get rid of some unnecessary crap at the same time.

I'm not using the camera to take pictures of items I'm selling on Ebay now but to document the progress of this lip cancer treatment. It's important for me to be able to look back and see how it looked last week or even a few days ago in order for me to realistically assess the progress. It continues to shrink slightly but it's still there, darn it. It bothers me that the ointment I'll start putting on it on the 25th will cause it to triple in size before it diminishes again. That somehow doesn't make sense to me. Added to that is the pain element. This ointment will cause a lot of pain on my lip and I'm not good with pain. Oh well, I'll just have to wait and see how this all turns out. Forgive me if I whine.

I saw my family doctor yesterday and he is such a treasure. He listened to my fears and told me he'd send me to a plastic surgeon who would do any excision needed on the lip once it was healed as far as it will go. I was very worried about a dermatologist cutting into my lip but at least a plastic surgeon will do a much better job. He also said that the sore on my lip is quite small so, hopefully, there shouldn't be much of a scar. I love my family doctor. He's always been a comfort and completely reliable whenever we needed him and it's too bad all family doctors aren't like him.

My dear handyman has just arrived to grout the tile. I told him I have to take a picture of him for my daughter and he laughed. I didn't tell him that she wants to know if he's married. That might be going a bit too far, don't you think?

New Handyman

The new backsplash tile but it isn't grouted yet.

My new handyman arrived this morning at 7:30 A.M. just as he said he would. He started working immediately and removed the old tile in no time. He's already cleaned that all up and is now beginning to put the new tile on. I'm so happy I could s-it!

He's also going to put a small table fan together for me that I can't figure out how to do myself. I feel so stupid when I can't do simple things like this but I just have to accept that this is the way I am. I was actually ready to return it to the store instead of continuing to struggle with it. I don't really think I'm stupid but sometimes I wonder.

Shelley and John take possession of their new house today and I'm so very happy for them. This truly is a dream house and fits them so well it seems like it was always meant for them. The house was built in 1929 but there is also a newer addition and the whole place is filled with character and class...Spanish styling which is so fitting for John's heritage. I'm really looking forward to seeing it this winter.

I'm going to see my family doctor this morning for a little more information on the skin cancer I have on my lip and the treatment it's receiving. So far it's progressing nicely but I have a terrible fear I won't be able to stand the pain that accompanies the ointment I have to start using on it later this month. I'm hoping my doctor can prescribe some sort of analgesic. I guess the dermatologist could do the same thing but she's always so hurried that I forget to ask basic questions when I'm at her office.

Wouldn't it be nice if every day was a pleasant one with no problems whatsoever? Well, I'm still basking in the delight of having a handyman at work in my kitchen and that will have to do for today.

Get More Than One Estimate!

On Monday I got an estimate from the "Handyman Connection" and he rated the jobs at about $1200, much more than I'd anticipated but I really didn't know what it should cost. The man was very nice but seemed a little surprised that I wasn't going to accept his offer immediately. I told him I would get back to him after getting input on whether it was a fair price.

Yesterday I phoned the store where I'd purchased the tile and was given 3 names and numbers of contractors to call. I decided to just call the person (John) on the top of the list and have him come and give me an estimate. He arrived well before noon and gave me a price of $685 for doing the same 3 jobs that yesterday's man smilingly offered to do for $1200. John is a licenced contractor with his own business so I''m wondering where "Handyman Connection" gets off charging almost double for the same job.

John starts on Thursday!

I'm getting a little overwhelmed with upheaval of both good and bad news that's happening around here. I want only good news and good things for my whole family so the gods of fate had better step in and straighten things out.

Nolan turns 2 on Sunday so I went to Toys R Us and bought him a cute little Lightening McQueen ride in car...no pedals, just foot power because he can't reach the pedals yet on the little cars I have here for him. I think he'll love it.

I was joking with Kim about staying home and running a day care instead of going to a stressful job every day and she said she couldn't do it because there's only one kid (Nolan) she wants to look after and she does that for free. He is one bright and shining light in our lives and I know that Nash will share that spotlight once he grows up a bit. Now he just lays there and smiles contentedly.

Every day, in every way, we live lives filled with both happiness and sadness. If the percentage of happiness outweighs the sadness then we can persevere. It's a domineering sadness that smushes us into the ground and makes us unable to cope. I haven't had one of those dreadful days in a long, long time. Life, with all it's pitfalls, can be lovely if we choose to dwell on the good stuff and only deal with the bad on a strong footing.

Speaking of a strong footing, today I get a pedicure.

Bowling Ball Art

I've been wanting to do this since seeing the gorgeous works of art done by a lady at my Florida park. They were honestly breathtakingly beautiful and I have no hope of matching her skill but at least I can do a simple one. I posted a request for a bowling ball on Facebook and darned if my neighbor doesn't have one she'll part with. I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people have one or more of these balls tucked away in their basements and don't realize how lovely they can make them.

I didn't think it would be easy to find old bowling balls but I didn't think it would be near impossible. I could kick myself for not buying the one I saw at a yard sale in Florida this past winter...that's the only one I've seen at yard sales. People probably don't think they're worth anything but they haven't seen "bowling ball art".

I can't wait to obtain my neighbor's ball (LOL!) and turn it into a thing of beauty. Sorry, Steve, but I just had to say it.

Spec Photo and Story? No Thanks!

The Letter To The Editor I wrote was published today and someone from the Spec phoned to ask if he could write a more in depth story with a picture of me holding the letter from Juravinski. Yikes! Nooooo! I've seen pictures in newspapers of everyday people like me who happened to have a complaint or problem and they usually look pathetic. Yikes, again!

I'm still shocked that such a tasteless fund raiser was mailed out to people but that's as far as it goes. I did my bit by writing the Letter To The Editor. It's sort of an outlet for various frustrations and I've got lots of time to indulge myself by sending a letter off to the local newspaper.

Now on to the rest of my day...I finally got fed up with waiting for my good handyman, Don, to take care of the few repairs I need done inside the house and I called the "Handyman Connection" to have them send someone out to give me an estimate to retile the kitchen backsplash and install a new ceiling fan. I'm afraid I'll never get that new bathroom upstairs but it's not the end of the world. A bigger problem is that if Don doesn't get his butt over here and finish repairing the front stairs, I'm going to call in someone else for that, too. Don is a good person, honest and trustworthy, but he just takes too long to start a job for me and I've about given up on him.

The other day Lisa and Anna mentioned the "trials and tribulations of Pat" and it sort of surprised me but I do have them ,don't I? Other people probably have a lot more problems than I do but they don't rant about them in the newspaper and on their blog. Hmmm! I'd better try to refocus.

My Darn Sister

Last Sunday my sister got into one of her bloody snits and took it out on me this time. I haven't been completely comfortable going for lunch with her on Sundays for a while now because she so easily gets irate with salesclerks or waitresses...or anyone else that accidently offends her. I'm probably a fool but I always feel better if I hold my tongue when faced with poor service than the very few times I've spoken out. I believe it's some of the worst in a person if they take out their anger on someone who can't fight back and that's the case with salesclerks and waitresses. I worked in both jobs so I know.

My sister phoned me this morning and left a message (I decided it wasn't time for me to talk to her). No apology, just a message to let me know I could meet her for lunch if I felt like it. I'm not ready for her yet because I know this time I have to have a serious talk with her about her behaviour and it could cause a permanent rift. I dread that more than I care to admit. I'm sure I'll chicken out when the time comes but I hope not. I asked her once before to talk to her doctor about her bursts of anger but she didn't think it was necessary.

For myself, I need some more time away from her and away from the confrontation I know is coming. It can wait.

Liquid Nitrogen

It's amazing how well having a skin cancer sprayed with Liquid nitrogen works. I've had a couple of spots over the last few years that required only that to clear them up completely so I have high hopes for the same success with the sore on my lip. It gives me hope that even if I can't tolerate the Aldara, the remaining sore will be much smaller than it is now.

I just wish I could get those morbid thoughts out of my mind. During the day it isn't too bad but it seems to settle heavily at night and makes sleep difficult. On top of that, last night around 3 A.M. some idiot nearby set off a whole batch of fireworks which woke me up from a deep sleep.

I rationalize everything so I'm working at looking at this problem realistically and, to be honest, it almost becomes not much of a problem. I thank my lucky stars that it's only skin cancer that I'm dealing with and not something worse. By the way, my "Letter to the Editor" in the Spectator is being published on Monday...it's about a fund raiser letter I received last week from the Juravinski Cancer Center. I'm still mad about receiving this letter that starts out with, "Sorry, it's cancer". I think this is a terrible way of scaring people so they'll donate to Juravinski. Poor, poor public relations!

It's a quiet, overcast but warm day today and I'll spend it just relaxing.

Lip Cancer

I went to see my dermatologist yesterday and she confirmed that the sore on my bottom lip is skin cancer. I had sort of expected this but it still rocked me to my roots to hear it. She sprayed it once again with liquid nitrogen and then gave me a prescription for Aldara ($190) to use starting on July 25th. Apparently that gives my poor lip time to shrink a bit (hopefully) from the spraying.

The Aldara is wickedly painful. I used it a few years ago on a few spots on my chest and had to discontinue it because it actually felt like applying acid to my skin. I'm supposed to apply it 3 times a week for 2 weeks and then daily for 8 weeks. As I recall, I couldn't even tolerate it for a week when I used it before so this scares me to death.

At the end of the treatment there is a chance that any remaining skin cancer will have to be cut out and that's another big problem. Depending on the size of the cut, reconstructive surgery might be necessary. I can't put to words how frightening this is to me but it's something I have to deal with and that's that. It's also a strong incentive to be brave enough to hang in through the whole 10 weeks of treatment with the Aldara.

When I look back on how I have become afflicted with various skin cancers, I can pinpoint it to two things...sailing and tanning beds. I didn't use the tanning beds very often but we had a sailboat for many years and I got lots of sunburns during that time. Too late we get smart!

P.S. I forgot to mention that I've lost my appetite and that only happens when I'm very, very upset. Not that I want to remain very, very upset, but it would be nice if this scare at least took a few pounds off me.

Fabric

I'd always thought I'd never been much of a collector of anything but the existence of too many bins of fabric in my sewing room tells another story. I've always loved shopping for fabric and it was the most fun I had when planning a sewing project. Once bought, the actual work had to be done and that wasn't always fun.

When I became interested in quilting, my choices for fabric became much more colorful and, therefor, much more fun to shop for. In the beginning I'd only buy what I needed for the quilt I was planning but then I got into buying ahead of time for future quilts. I have a very nice sewing room in the basement with a nice large closet and in that closet are about 7 bins of fabric. I have no idea about colors or patterns because I haven't looked in there in years. So sad.

When I started cleaning out the sewing room last week, I expected to be able to go through all the bins of fabric but only managed to measure and mark the 2 bins full that weren't in the closet. Now most people might think I have a daunting task ahead of me but I look at it this way. At some point in my life I chose some beautiful fabrics to buy so when I open those bins it will be like Xmas morning. I'll be able to ooh and ahh all over again at their beauty. And, sad as it will be, I'll know that people just like me will be only too happy to buy them cheaply at the yard sale I plan to have. They can store them in bins in their sewing room closets.

Goodbye Vida

Our family had a memorial service for Aunt Vida today. She had passed away away last January at an advanced age so her passing wasn't really unexpected.

Leigh held the service at his new house so it was nice to have our get-together there, tour the house and meet up with relatives, some of whom I hadn't seen in many years. Some I didn't recognize because I hadn't seen them in 20 years or more. I'm sure they thought I'd become an old hag in those 20 years, too, but I try not to dwell on that thought. Most of us like to think we don't change all that much from when we were young but, believe me, most of us change drastically.

A group of us toured the house when we first arrived and it is really gorgeous. It sits on a large piece of land and the lake is right at the end of the back yard. Cousin David said that the setting was like having a family reunion in a nice park. The inside of the house is huge...4 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms. It's pretty big for 2 people to live in but it's what they want and that's all that matters. I just hope Enid decides to take it a bit easier by hiring some help with the housework.

There were hugs and hello's all over the place, happiness at seeing family I seldom see and happiness at seeing family I'm lucky enough to see more often. This family I married into is a special one and I've always been thankful I'm part of it. Cindy brought her new boyfriend, Don, and he got a good idea of how close our family is. It was the first time we'd met and I liked him immediately. He was friendly and seemed at ease with meeting so many of Cindy's relatives at the same time.

Wayne finally corralled everyone out to the end of the yard where Vida's urn was placed and he spoke a bit about how much she'd been a big part of our lives, mostly in earlier years. He encouraged people to speak about some of their experiences with her and what she'd meant to them. Of course, there were a few tears but mainly it was made known what a kind and accepting woman she had been. Many of us older ones had lived in Vida's house back in the 1950's, welcomed as renters or visitors, staying for months or years before moving to homes of our own. Some of the older blood relatives told funny stories from their childhood in which Vida played a big part.

Vida's 3 sons and daughter were there (Wendell passed away a few years ago) and I hope they took comfort in hearing how much their mother was loved by the rest of us. No-one made mention of what a quiet and unassuming lady she'd been but that was my strongest memory of her. I'd seen in her a very complicated and deep person who was capable of handling whatever life threw her way. When I'd lived in her house, there were many hours we'd had the chance to sit in her kitchen and talk. I was very young (17) and not wise enough then to help her with any of her personal problems but I'll always remember her attitude. She'd do what it took to get by. And it's that strength I'll always associate with Vida.

Soon it was time for the family to say our goodbyes and go our separate ways. Those of us who knew Vida will never forget her and I hope that somehow, somewhere, she smiled down on us today and knew that she'd left behind a lot of people who loved and appreciated her.

Clean Spice Cupboard

If you're anything like me, you can go for years and not notice a glaring mistake in your house. One of mine was my spice cupboard. I rarely cook and haven't done so for at least 7 or 8 years so I have no idea why the cupboard was so darned full of spices which I didn't even know how to use.

Once in a while I'd get ambitious and make a big pot of soup or maybe go all out and make a slow cooker meal. At those times, I'd probably go into the spice cupboard and choose a few things that might work in the preparation of the meal. I'm not a good cook so my choices were usually just guesses as to what spices to use. I'd mentally make note of the cluttered shelf and sort of wonder exactly what I had in there but figured I'd look after it some time in the future. The future arrived this morning.

I'd made devilled eggs for a memorial service I'm going to this afternoon for Aunt Vida and went into the cupboard to look for paprika to sprinkle on the top of the eggs. Devilled eggs are my mainstay when taking food to a function because they're easy to make and I can't possible mess them up. I always had paprika before but there was none today. Scrounging through the spices, I came face to face with the fact that most of these spices were hard as rock or of questionable age. Time to clean them out!!

I pulled them all out and sorted them into some I could keep and almost all I could discard. The size of the "discard" pile was sort of embarrassing but I get pretty ruthless when I'm on a cleaning mission so they did, indeed, end up in the garbage.

Now the spice cupboard is kind of bare but neat. There's probably more in there than I need but I think it was a job well done.

Is This Really Normal?

I know my granddaughter is going to be fuming if she reads this blog but here it is anyway.

A friend of my daughter was at the Atlanta airport and this is what she saw...a 65 year old balding man dressed in a flowered shirt, denim mini skirt, lace anklets with men's shoes, and wearing a rhinestone barrette in what was left of his hair.

I know it's politically incorrect to find fault with this man but how can any one of us say this is normal? No matter how much we want to fool ourselves, this is aberrant behaviour and we shouldn't have to appease anyone by calling it anything other than that. The man deserves our pity and, yes, our acceptance of his choice of dress but don't let anyone try to tell me that he's got all his faculties.

Now, if a 65 year old lady had been seen in that outfit, she would have drawn just as much attention. Some things are just not normal no matter how much we might want to pretend they are.

It Didn't Need Fixing

There is a side to my grandson, Matt, that I've discovered is very much like his Grampa. I learned a long time ago that, no matter how savvy Matt is with the computer, I shouldn't let him touch it. Yesterday my precious boy came up for a visit and somehow remembered me saying that my remote wouldn't turn the T.V. on or off but it worked fine in every other way.

As he fiddled with the remote and T.V., he kept saying, "trust me, Gramma!". I should have known better given all the lifetime experiences I'd had with him. When he was done fiddling, the volume control didn't work and he was having trouble getting a channel.

If he'd been younger, I would have been screaming at him for screwing up my T.V. but he's a man now so I just threatened his life if he didn't fix it. He phoned Shaw Cable and, horrors, used my computer to ask them a question on their codes. Shortly, he was able to return my T.V. to it's previous condition but now the volume display is in a different spot.

I am so thankful that all I have to do is turn the T.V. on and off manually.

Short Shorts

Short shorts on young, slim girls look too revealing (in my humble opinion) but short shorts on females of any age who happen to be grossly overweight look hideous. I saw a sweet looking teenage girl today who had to be close to the 300 lb. mark and she was wearing pale pink plaid short shorts. What was she thinking?

It's tough being overweight and trying to find clothes that don't make you look worse than you feel but some things you just know are not for you. I never had to worry about my weight until I got into my late 20's and that's when it started piling on. I remember wearing a few things I hoped I could get away with but I knew in my heart I was making a mistake. We do know deep inside when we're doing anything wrong and, if we're smart, we'll pay attention to that little voice.

The young girl I saw today obviously didn't listen to her little voice.

The Toy Collection

I've got quite a load of toys at my house for Nolan and, when he's a bit older, Nash. I think I might have spent a grand total of $20 for the whole lot and that includes 3 ride on vehicles. Yard saleing is the answer.

I may have overdone it on the amount of inside toys so I'm going to look them over and decide what can go out in the driveway. Nolan loves his "Bob the Builder" stuff so they might be better left inside so the little people don't get lost. I found a few of them at yard sales today but they're hard to come by.

Right now, there are 3 toy vehicles for Nolan to ride on in my driveway. I only have one myself so he's definitely spoiled. And that's okay!

Father's Day

Early humans knew that the way to choose a mate was to choose one that would be the best person to rear children with. That was an inborn drive necessary to protect and propogate the species. Women today still carry that drive but it's gotten a bit skewed. Maybe we've chosen financial ability or sexual attraction instead of father material.

Women now seem to want a man who will make them happy, with all other considerations secondary. I don't really see anything wrong with this but sometimes a man who makes us happy can be a lousy father. In fact, he might not be mature enough to even want to be a father, hence the number of men who run for the hills when a baby or two arrive.

I certainly lucked out with my husband even though the furthest thing from my mind when I met him was his fathering abilities. But he took to fatherhood like a duck to water, nurturing and teaching his offspring until his final days. Dennis didn't change diapers or bathe babies because that wasn't expected back in the day but he loved to play with his children, often using the play time as a chance to teach them in the process.

This Father's Day my daughters will remember their father as one of the best and they'll always be grateful that he'd been their Dad. Lucky girls!

Excess Garbage

I'm only allowed to put out one bag of garbage a week and I don't know how families can do this. I rarely cook, rarely buy anything, and still manage to fill my allotted bag every single Wednesday. Then I have one in the laundryroom and one in the yard that sits there until it's full. Since I can't put an extra bag out on garbage day, my good neighbor carts it away for me but what about people who don't have such a neighbor?

When this one bag per household rule came along, I assumed that we'd see garbage bags littering the countryside but I don't think that happened. There's a possibility that some people dispose of their excess garbage in dumpsters rented by various businesses, otherwise I don't know where the heck it goes.

Recycling has been a good idea and it's practiced by most of us so that helps cut down on the amount of garbage bags needed. But what happens when you have company and one bag is not enough? I wonder if we can take it to the dump ourselves and pay a fee? I've taken loads of wood and paint cans to the dump but there was no fee for that, just separate areas where you could drop it.

It surprises me that when I'm in Florida we get daily garbage pickup and there is very little recycling except for pop and beer cans which are sold to a recycling plant.

My plan for a more efficiently run city would be mail delivery and garbage pickup twice a week. Wouldn't that make sense? It won't happen, although I think we might have fewer mail delivery days in the future. The only thing I received in the mail in the past week are sales flyers and I think we could easily do without those every day.

Is It A Him Or A Her?

If a person was born male but now dresses female, has taken a female name, still looks like a male, how do you refer to him...as him or her? I sort of equate this with someone who believes they're Napoleon and wants everyone else to believe it also. Do you join into their fantasy or do you try to dissuade them?

I guess being a transsexual or transvestite has become one of those things that we are now told to accept as normal but, darn it, it just isn't. I really wonder if we do more psychological harm to them by accepting their bizarre behaviour. I can't believe they are anything but mentally ill even though I know that many would not agree with me. I'm pretty open minded (I think) but there's something seriously wrong with a person who wants to portray themselves as one of the opposite sex.

Just as we should never cause harm in any way to a person who believes they are Napoleon, we shouldn't publicly humiliate someone who cross dresses. Most of them have to know just by looking in a mirror that they won't pass inspection so they deserve our compassion if nothing else. I've never heard of a transsexual/transvestite being a threat to anyone so they aren't to be feared.

Do they deserve our pity or our full acceptance? I just don't know.

Swedish Weaving Bee

Faye and Donna came over today for our Swedish weaving and we just worked away without needing help from each other. I think we must be at the top of our game! It's so nice to have this time together with 2 people I've known so long and whose company I enjoy. We talk about family, friends, old times, and new business. We laugh at ourselves and sometimes, I hate to admit it, others.

Cindy stopped by on her way home from work and we all went out on the patio to drink our red berry tea. A nice day!

Nick is coming shortly to cut the back lawn...he ran out of time the other day when he cut the front lawn. He's bringing Nash to keep me company and Nolan is going with his mother to have a haircut. I hope he doesn't lose all his beautiful curls!

I'm lucky to have seen so many relatives today. One of the most important aims in life is to keep close ties with your family because, when all is said and done, family and friends who are as close as family is what matters most.