Burkas

With so many immigrants from all over the world, we're all familiar with seeing them dressed in their native garb. This adds color and interest to our society and, for the most part, I enjoy the novelty. But this doesn't extend to burkas worn in public.

There has been much discussion about banning the wearing of burkas in public and I'm on the side of banning them because they present a clear danger to our security. Wearing a flowing cloak that covers everything but the eyes could hide just about anyone and anything...man or gun!

A friend told me that he'd seen a burka clad figure sitting on a curb at the mall with legs crossed. Those legs were large and as hairy as a man's and the person was wearing combat boots. Maybe this is normal for these women but it could have been a man. Think of the possiblities! There's also something terribly abnormal about a woman who hides behind a burka. Is it her natural choice or a way of her culture repressing her as a human being?

I'm sure that the next generation of women won't tolerate wearing burkas but, in the meantime, our security could be at stake. If these women are allowed to have their I.D. photos taken while wearing the burka...and that wouldn't surprise me at all...then we're just asking for trouble. Do you think????

Cost of Wintering in Florida

One of the big topics of conversation in Florida is the cost of out-ot-country health insurance for Canadians. Each year it becomes increasing more costly for a Canadian to leave the country and it is this high cost that eventually makes it impossible for us to spend a comfortable winter in Florida.

My cost, at age 66, was just under $600 for 5 1/2 months. This is peanuts compared to one of the men here who, at age 85, had to pay out $5,700 for 4 months coverage. Fortunately, he can afford it but I'll have to stop coming here long before my cost is that high. The sad thing is that it's better for our health to be out of the cold and icy conditions back home.

A few years back my husband had an emergency procedure here in Florida that included receiving heart artery stents. The total cost of the procedure and 3 days hospitalization was $40,000 U.S. Because we didn't immediately contact our insurance provider and ask permission for the procedure (remember, it was an emergency) they refused to pay the bill. We went through 9 months of appeals with them until they finally agreed to pay. We presented them with hospital records which described every procedure as an "emergency" but they wouldn't back down until they discovered we also had x-rays of the arteries showing the blockages. Our Ontario Health Insurance Plan only contributed slightly over $1,000 Cdn to the $40,000 U.S. bill.

What I learned from this is that you have to contact the insurance provider before any procedure, even an emergency. They can insist that you fly home for treatment which costs them only the flight home. I know of one man here who broke his hip and his insurance provider made that poor man endure a flight home instead of allowing him to be treated here in Florida. In my husband's case, if they had told us to fly home I would have refused because it would have endangered his life. We have to know when to stand firm and demand what we paid for.

*M*E*R*R*Y* *C*H*R*I*S*T*M*A*S*

I just listened to a news report stating that Walmart is now encouraging it's employees to use the dreaded phrase "MERRY CHRISTMAS". Last year they were so afraid of offending just about anyone and insisted their employees say "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" instead. This has been such a sore point with me for the last few years because the whole reason for this celebration that brings Walmart and so many other businesses their biggest profit of the year is that it is "CHRISTMAS". A "HOLIDAY" is when we go camping.

I love the diverse cultures we have in Canada and the United States but we have our own culture also that we have every right to preserve. It's wonderful for people of all religions and nationalities to carry on their traditions but please, PLEASE don't take mine away.

*MERRY CHRISTMAS* to all!

Rainy Day in Florida

I woke up this morning to rain and cloudy skies and thought I was back home in Canada for a moment. On further inspection, the grass is green and the hibiscus is blooming so it must be Florida.

We have very few rainy days here in Florida during the winter so we snowbirds just grin and bear it knowing the rain is sorely needed. When it becomes too dry there is a danger of brush fires. 3 or 4 years ago there were so many brush fires in the spring that grey ash scattered down like snowflakes over much of Florida for a few days.

I think I'll spend this rainy day just the way I spend them at home. I'll curl up with a good book and maybe even have a nap.

Changes on the Internet

Blog.com now requires I have a google e-mail address and password. Talk about confusing to toss this at me the computer illiterate! I followed directions and then couldn't get into my blog, e-mailed them for help, tried again and couldn't get in, changed my password and managed to get in. I still don't know what I did wrong and if I'll be able to access my blog tomorrow.

I hate change. It's terribly difficult for me to learn anything on the computer and I've never seen anything in my life that is so full of changes. I just become confident that I've learned something and then someone, somewhere decides it should be done a different way. Damn, double damn!

Ebay is a prime example of change for the sake of change with no redeeming value to the damn change. I have my own opinion as to why top executives of any company make changes of any kind. They have to justify their jobs, their salaries, and their existance. If they left well enough alone they wouldn't be needed.

That said, I think I'll go to bed!

Red Hat Ladies

I belong to the Red Hat Society. I'm not sure if you have to be 50 or 55 years old to become a Red Hat lady but, needless to say, our group here in the senior park are over qualified. We go to lunch once a month all decked out in our purple and red outfits, some wearing outrageous hats with multi plumes, and thoroughly enjoy the attention we draw. I have yet to see anyone greet us with derisive laughter but we seem to bring happy smiles to people's faces. I think they admire our bravado for daring to dress silly and still enjoy ourselves and our age. We've paid our dues and we don't have to be anything other than what we are. We're enjoying life and anyone seeing us knows that at a glance.

One of my favorite moments as a Red Hat lady happened a few years ago. We were all going to lunch in old Kissimmee so our little train of cars pulled into town and we parked across the road from the restaurant. Our "Queen", beautifully clad in a long purple dress with flowing red boa and one of the most elaborate hats possible, stepped into the busy street and held up her hand to stop traffic so that the rest of us could cross safely. Cars backed up for a few blocks but all of the drivers I could see were smiling broadly.

Sometimes, showing the silly side of your personality makes everyone around you happy. The Red Hatters do that with style!

Flea Markets and Dollar Stores

A few friends and I went to the flea market this morning and I found a couple of items during my wanderings that I really need. It seems like the "flea market" phenomena is fairly recent in our culture...I don't remember going to one till I was possibly in my 40's but they were probably around long before that. Still, anything so ingrained in our culture that hasn't been around for 50 years can be considered new.

Another thing that I think of as a fairly new arrival is the dollar store. I've never gone into one yet and come out empty handed because they carry all the little doodads that we need but don't necessarily replace immediately.

Before these additions to our world we had to buy everything in regular stores at higher prices so sometimes progress actually is good. The only downside is that the quality suffers...but we're a throw away society anyway so it doesn't matter too much.

Just a thought!

Thank You, Readers

I started blogging just last spring (after learning what blogging actually is) and have been constantly surprised and meekly grateful that a number of my relatives find my writings interesting. On the rare occasion that a complete stranger takes the time to make a comment on my writings, I am beside myself with joy. This is just a strong and heart felt "thank you" to anyone who finds my stories worthwhile reading.

Lost Kitty

This morning I heard a yowling outside my trailer and thought it was a lost child. A bit worried, I raced outside just in time to see the tail end (literally) of a cat disappear into the bushes. We have the odd stray cat roaming around so I didn't think too much of it until a bit later when I heard that strange yowling again. This time I surprised the pretty little kitty sitting on my patio and crying for all he was worth. Before he could race off, I saw that he was a really beautiful Siamese cat. Knowing he couldn't be a stray and that his owner must be frantic to find him, I placed a saucer of milk out to try and lure him closer.

Now I'm allergic to cats but love them to death and would have a few if they didn't make me sneeze and itch. I realized that this little kitty could easily get eaten by an alligator or wander onto the road if he wasn't caught soon so I decided to take him in if I could catch him. I was willing to take the chance of a few sneezes. His owner had to be somewhere in the park and should be easy to find so I wouldn't have him long.

Apparently even a lost Siamese cat will turn his nose up at skim milk so he continued to wail but kept his distance. I left the milk out anyway and went to the pool. When I returned, I heard a lady hurrying up the road calling for her pet (I assumed it was her pet she was calling for because she was promising him a nice treat!). She was frantic as I'd expected and was very relieved, but weepy, when I told her that her cat had been around the area all day. She continued looking for him and I could hear different neighbors saying they'd just seen the cat in one place or another. Moments later she hollered out that she had found him and thanked everyone within hearing distance.

Pet lovers are very considerate of one another because we know how very much we treasure our pets. They become like children to us and we refer to ourselves as their Mommy and Daddy. Sound silly? We don't care! Pets can provide us with more happiness than anyone could ever want. They are ALWAYS there for us. They are thrilled when we come home to them (they actually look up). They ask for nothing but food and water (and you don't have to cook it or make it colorful on the plate). They're warm on your feet (some let you place you feet on top of them but my dog only tolerated my feet underneath him).

At my home in Canada I have a lovely ink drawing of the dog we had for 15 years until he passed away. It is framed and hanging on the wall where I can see him many times through the day. When I look at that picture it brings back so many memories of him...like how smart he was, how good he was, and how loved he was. Pet lovers will understand.

Bingo at the Park

Until I retired and came to this park in Florida, I might have played Bingo once or twice in my whole life. When I'm at home in Canada I have no interest in playing Bingo...but once I arrive in Florida I count the days till the next Bingo game.

We play twice a week and the clubhouse is always filled with familiar faces so we usually know the lucky winner/winners. This is what makes the difference. It's easy to lose to a friend. Not so easy to win their money!

Last week I played the two nights and won enough to pay for my games until mid December. This week has been a complete loss, though. Never fear...our next Bingo night is only 5 days away and hope springs eternal.

I'm Going on a Cruise!!

I am so darned thrilled because I'm finally getting to go on a cruise...always wanted to do this but my husband didn't. It's only a 4 day budget cruise to the Bahamas but this is a big deal for me. There will be at least 44 seniors from my park going and they're all people who enjoy life so we'll have a wonderful time.

I married young and money was hard to come by. Raising 3 children and buying a house on just my husband's salary (I only worked part-time) doesn't leave a lot for luxuries. I wouldn't change any part of it, though, because what you go through in your lifetime is what makes you the person you are. My husband and I both came from relatively poor families so the few luxuries we were able to come by...like owning our own home...were never taken for granted. I know that being able to go on this wonderful cruise was all made possible by the blood, sweat, and tears of both me and my husband over a great many years.

My mother-in-law sort of set the stage for me when it comes to grabbing the moment. She had the most wonderful attitude about life and couldn't wait to try new things...like going motorcycle riding when she was in her 70's. All anyone had to say was "do you want to go..." and she was out the door, not caring where she was going but just happy to be having a new experience. She, unfortunately like me, had little time for housework because there were always so many other interesting things to do.

This is what I've found retirement life to be like. Our children are grown and our worklife is done so now we have the time to play again. Life is good!

Adele

Adele is a 93 year old lady in our park who gives all of us hope and inspiration. She's a tiny little thing, a bit bent over from the toils and tribulations of her long life, but she's a ball of fire. Until this year she drove her big white Cadillac down to Florida from Connecticut but this year her daughter insisted she fly and send the car down by train. She is the one to beat on the shuffleboard court and she also plays a mean game of bid euchre. But the most wonderful thing about Adele is that her mind is sharp as a tack and she always, always has a lovely smile on her face.

It's a fact of life that we gravitate towards people who are smiling and appear happy because they make us happy, too. As we age we develop little aches and pains that can get us down a bit but most of that can be overcome by simply having a good attitude. If you are at all able to, you should keep away from people who bring you down and lower your self esteem.

They say that laughter is the best medicine and, when I'm with friends and family, I get an overdose. My daughter has a charm on her necklace that says "Live, Love, Laugh" and that says it all!

Strange Sights

I'm very interested in human psychology and this makes me a veteran people watcher. I sometimes think that others are looking at me and seeing a fat old broad wearing too many rings, clam diggers, and ugly crocs...but I don't care. Maybe the people I've been watching and finding kind of odd don't care either.

On my second day in Florida I went shopping and stopped at an Arby's for lunch. In came a woman in her 50's, skinny and ill-kept, wearing pants deliberately pulled low on scrawny hips (they were hanging crooked) in order to show off the tattoo at the very top of the crack in her butt. What was she thinking?

The same day I was in Walmart (sorry, I'm a shopper) and in came a young man with pants pulled way low below his bum and kind of silly looking underwear most of which were hanging above his pants. They were also very crooked and not too clean. What was he thinking?

Today I was in McDonalds for lunch and the lady in front of me was wearing see-through white pants that showed very clearly she was wearing thong underwear. She was older (and fatter) than me. What was she thinking?

One of things I've noticed here in the park is that older men with large, large bellies have no shame about walking around in a swimsuit slung under their stomaches. Women, on the other hand, do their best to minimize their bellies by wearing skirted swimsuits. Interesting behaviour, isn't it?

Most Embarrassing Moment

My daughter just told me that she's applied to be a contestant on "Deal or No Deal" when it comes to Toronto in a few months. One of the questions asked on the questionaire is "what was your most embarrassing moment?". Here is mine!

My husband taught me to drive when I was 16 years old but I never tried to get my driver's licence for one reason or another until I turned 44. I diligently took driving lessons to help me unlearn all the bad habits my husband had taught me and soon felt confident enough to take my driving test.

I was very nervous and the cold eyed "tester" didn't help matters. He was about my own age but looked as though he'd never cracked a smile in his life. I felt like a real loser just applying for my first driver's licence at such a ripe old age. We both got into the car, me at the wheel and he in the passenger seat. The whole time we drove he led me through all the maneuvers necessary while he wrote crisp little notes on his clipboard. I thought he was a pompous ass and was certain he found fault in everything I did.

When we finally returned to the DMV office, I parked the car and nervously awaited his announcement. He took his sweet time! After what seemed like hours I asked him how I had done. He said, unsmiling, "you passed". I yelped, "oh, thank you!" and slapped him on the knee. My hand hit so hard it accidently slid up his leg and onto a place I should never have gone near. He packed up his clipboard and exited the car...with a smile on his face!

Florida Politics

Florida political ads are a little different from our Canadian ones. It doesn't much matter who the politician is but when they're running for election they love to put out T.V. ads insulting their opponents. It starts to sound like young children complaining about children they don't like...but these are adults who want us to believe they're fit to run the country, or state, or city. Of course, they also say that they, and only they, will be able to help the poor, elderly, and young...the usual promises that never pan out. Then they close by saying "I'm John Doe/Mary Doe and I approve this message". They have no shame.

I gave up voting years ago because I'm of the opinion that all politicians are crooks and liars. People tell me that I have no right to complain if I don't vote but I figure I'm just circumventing the procedure. If I voted, I'd be complaining about the idiots I voted for. When I don't vote, I've saved myself the job of going to the polling station and I can still complain about them. Sounds sensible to me.

At one time I was a die hard New Democrat supporter. When the New Democrats won power in Ontario (with the help of my vote) I was ecstatic. Then, over an embarrassing short period, they almost bankrupted the province and that is when I lost all faith in politics.

To my knowledge, there has been only one Canadian politician who could wear the title proudly and that was Pierre Trudeau. I never voted for him but if he was alive and running today he'd have my vote.

I Have Arrived

I drove through a lot of rain on Friday but still managed to reach my more than half way destination around 6 P.M. Staying in a motel room alone will never be easy but, since it's a necessity,it gets done. Unfortunately, someone was having a party in the room above mine and kept me awake most of the night...one of the hazards of spending the night in a motel! After 2 hours sleep I hit the road Saturday morning around 6:00 A.M. and drove till 3 P.M. under sunny skies.

Arriving at my beloved park I drove through the gate and saw that the ponds are very low (not evough rain this summer) and then on past the pool and to my trailer. The yard was a disaster but cleans up fairly fast because weeds growing in sand are easy to pull out. I went inside to a lovely clean trailer (my daughters had hired "Merry Maids" to clean it for me) and began to feel at home almost instantly. Before long neighbors and old friends began to appear at the door to welcome me back and give me hugs. I'm so lucky to have settled in this park and come to know these very special people.

Sunday I did laundry and washed cupboards (Merry Maids wanted $100 extra to do that...they charge way too much anyway). One of my friends came over in the afternoon to invite me to dinner. There were 8 of us and it was as pleasant as always. After dinner we went to the clubhouse where we had our usual Sunday evening ice-cream...another tradition here.

This morning I tackled the weeds and discovered that all this bending over hurts my back more than it did last year. Could I be getting older??? Another friend stopped by and promised to find me someone to do the initial gardening next year. By noon I wasn't moving too well so I thought it best to go to the pool where I spent a few hours in interesting conversation with a few more friends. At home I have a very few close friends but here in the senior park they seem to abound. We all live so close to each other and have nothing much to do that doesn't involve fun...and the people who get along best are the ones you have the most in common with.

Tonight I'm staying home and watching "Deal or No Deal" and my friend, Sylvia, is coming over to watch it with me. She and her husband first came to our park last fall and we hit it off right away. I feel as though I've known them all my life. I think that senior parks give us many choices of people who might become friends and this park has provided me with a plethora. Life is good!

I'm Gone

Because of the unseasonable weather we've been having, I've spent the last two weeks bundled up in an afghan...but today I leave for Florida! The car is packed and I've only got 2 small totes to carry out to the car this morning. One is the little laptop computer I splurged on last year and couldn't do without.

I've got my trusty CAA strip map which will insure that I don't get lost on the way down (well, almost insure), my travelling cash, and my country CD's. I'll be wailing along with George Jones for most of the approximately 1200 miles to my Florida trailer. Right now I'm killing a bit of time before leaving because I want to cross the border in daylight...my night vision isn't the best and heaven forbid that I should miss my designated highways. But if I do I always stop and ask for directions. It's a woman thing!

Driving long distance is a pleasure for me but it still requires a bit of inner strength to convince myself I can do it. Here's to all the widows out there, who might carry on their lives with a degree of uncertainty, but who do carry on with will and determination.

Gotta Go!!

Miami Whine

I'm cold and I want to go to Florida. I think that qualifies as the "Miami Whine" and I can sympathise with any northerner who complains about the darned cold, damp weather we've been having. I started spending my winters in Florida in 1998 but had to stay home the winter of 2005. I thought I'd perish from the cold...and I was only in it long enough to get from house to car and back. What stupid Irishman (my ancestry) thought it would be a good idea to uproot his family and drag it across the ocean to settle in a country that had 5 months of winter??

I love my country and wouldn't live anywhere else in the world but I'll complain about the cold until the day I die!

Racism

As a Canadian I like to pride myself in the fact that racism here isn't as prevalent as in other countries. When I was a child in grade school (in the 1940's and 50's)we never had any black students but always a few orientals who were quite popular simply because they were nice children. The only form of racism practiced was that we thought these children were perhaps superior because they were ALWAYS the brightest in the class.

My sister has been married to a black man for 20 years and he is especially loved by our family because he is a wonderful human being. He had a military career until retirement and now spends his days keeping his home ship-shape and helping my sister with her day care business. His neighbors also think highly of him because of his friendly, helpful ways. They've lived in the same house for approximately 15 years and never suffered any racial insults until recently when some imbecil wrote these words on his car..."go home n----r". My sister is furious but I can only imagine what my brother-in-law is feeling. This is his home, his neighborhood where he has felt safe and accepted for 15 years. Now when he steps outside he must be wondering which smiling white face masks an inner hatred against him based soley on the color of his skin.

I had hoped that the widening variety of nationalities and races which now comprise my country would result in less discrimination and more harmony in our everyday lives. It pains me to accept the fact that I won't live long enough to see this happen. The plain truth is that there might always be a few dimwitted, frightened little fools who need to feel superior to people of races or religions different than their own. The saddest truth is that one of those dimwits caused a good man to feel less secure in his own home.

Dreary Days Again

It's another dreary fall day with no sunshine and damp, cold air. Some people become very low spirited or even depressed when they're deprived of sunlight for too long. My personal limit is two days and then I find myself feeling like a trapped tiger. Shopping sprees and casino binges occur for me at that time.

Centuries ago there was a religion that worshipped the sun and I would have been an easy convert. We owe our lives to the sun because without it none of us would exist. Vegetation couldn't grow without the sun's rays. We hear how governments are concerned that air pollution is interfering with the penetration of sunshine upon the earth but we continue to fill the roads with gas guzzling cars. If we don't see the immediate effects of our actions we pretend the threat isn't there. In truth, our economy would collapse if we drastically reduced vehicle traffic so it is to our advantage to ignore all warnings and let future generations deal with the problem. How selfish of us.

I hear the warnings and try to do my little bit to help the situation...like recycling. I don't drive as much as I used to but my feeble attempts at conservation probably won't save the planet. It's going to take a genuine effort by everyone to clean up the air so that our great-great granchildren can breathe it. In the bible it states that the meek will inherit the earth. The dictionary describes "meek" as having a patient, gentle disposition...being compassionate and kind. If we want life on earth to continue, we'll just have to respect it and treat it with kindness.

Canada's Health Care System

My 71 year old sister-in-law had a hysterectomy yesterday and is coming home today. She's always been in terrific shape for her age but being released from the hospital just one day after surgery seems a little premature. I remember when we were kept in the hospital for 5 days of observation after giving birth.

My last experience with hospitals in Canada came a year and a half ago when my husband, who had cancer, was there for a week of tests. He was in a ward consisting of 3 other elderly men, all suffering from different maladies. One was senile and kept trying to climb over the bars of his bed. I was afraid to attempt to handle him so I'd go searching for a nurse but often had difficulty locating one. They were never just standing around doing nothing but always very busy taking care of too many other patients. There simply weren't enough nurses on staff to properly take care of their patients.

One evening, as I left to go home, I saw a trail of dried blood on the floor of the main hallway in the ward. When I returned the next morning, it was still there. It's upsetting to think that there isn't even enough cleaning staff to keep our hospitals as free of germs as possible. And anyone sick enough to be in a hospital in the first place will have a weaker immune system.

We realize that we'll probably have to rely on the health care system more as we get older and it worries me to wonder what degree of care we can expect. Apparently, major surgery allows us only one day in a hospital bed.

Murphy's Law

Murphy's Law states that if something can go wrong it will go wrong. Murphy's Law is an integral part of my life. For instance, I don't have a very busy lifestyle while I'm home in Canada so I rely on memory and jotting appointments on my wall calendar. I've managed to make 3 appointments for the same day (and almost the same hour) next week, one of which will just have to be cancelled. There's absolutely nothing going on for every other day of that week.

A few years back, when I was still working, I became concerned that I was losing my memory because I missed 2 days of work thinking I wasn't scheduled for those days. I took my concerns to my family physician and he sent me to a specialist who proceeded to give me hours of various tests. I was finally told that my memory was phenomenal but I was attempting to fill my head with too many tasks and dates instead of recording them on paper. I now have slips of paper all through the house with little notes reminding me to phone, buy, or meet. What I need to do now is get a little date book for my purse so all this information is in one place. I'd better make a note!

Guns Vs Yelling

One of the funniest lines I ever heard was from a comedian comparing Canada to the United States. He said that the United States has drive by shootings but Canada has drive by yellings. What a terrific perspective on our more gentle society. Of course we have the same murders, robberies, etc. that occur in the States but on a smaller scale. It appears that we're no different but just about 50 years behind in development.

When I cross the border to the States I instantly become more alert to my surroundings, feeling slightly less secure with my safety. On the surface it looks much the same as in Canada but I know that many of the drivers sharing the road with me in the U.S. are toting guns along with their cell phones. I know that many of the trailers in my Florida park contain guns, also. I often wonder how many people in the U.S. lose their lives every year because they've angered someone who happened to possess a gun...someone who, if no gun existed, would have resorted to yelling at them instead.

There have been times in my life that I was so furious that the object of my anger was fortunate I didn't have a gun. I did quite well with yelling and cursing which did some damage but wasn't fatal. No-one has the capacity to enfuriate a woman half as much as her husband or significant other. It's surprising to me that so many American men survive into old age...especially since many display the same "pain in the ass" characteristics as their Canadian counterparts. And their wives have guns!

My Neighbors and the Massage

I've got some of the nicest neighbors you could find anywhere and one family who moved here only a few years ago has become very close to me. They are Chinese but immigrated from Viet Nam more than 25 years ago. The mother and father speak halting English so it's difficult for me to converse with them but their daughters (aged 23 and 31) have practically adopted me. A few times a month they come together for a visit and we talk and laugh for hours...ignoring the generation gap.

I broke my foot last year and those two young ladies (1 in school and 1 working) would visit me almost every day and massage my poor broken foot with some magical Chinese oil. Their kindness humbled me. Other neighbors have shown kindness and caring in different ways but the personal act of massaging my foot made a strong impression on me. Being Chinese, these ladies have grown up in an oriental culture where the young still nurture the old. My own daughters also tended to my needs at that time but they stopped short of the "massage".

My upbringing was not a loving, touching one and I partially passed that on to my own children. It wasn't until my grandchildren were born that I became more touchable. In fact, I couldn't keep my hands off them! In the main, our society teaches us to keep our hands to ourselves so we tend to repress our need to hug and be hugged. Well, I've gotten older and wiser and now hug just about anyone. I'm not so sure I want to massage their feet, though.

Autumn Leaves

What is it about the beauty of autumn leaves that is so appealing? On my drive up north this Thanksgiving, it was almost more than my senses could bear when we came upon a mountain of golds, reds, oranges and yellows basking in the sunlight. We should be sad that the brilliant fall colors signify the end of summer and the beginning of dormancy but it seems that we're able to find beauty in nature at all times. Autumn is part of the natural order of our lives.

A few years ago my husband and I took a drive through Vermont the first week of October and I'll never forget the overwhelming abundance of beauty that enveloped us. I remember a winding road that suddenly turned to face a wall of the most brilliant fall colors I'd ever seen in my life. It was absolutely stunning and I'll always carry those pictures in my memory.

It's such a pleasure to walk in the woods in the fall. The autumn colors and the crunch of dry leaves underfoot draw up memories of years past and comforts us in some way. Can't you just smell the hotdogs cooked over an open fire after a long trek through the woods where the air is warm but with just a touch of chill? My memories are of children running freely while the adults spread out preparing the meal, lighting the fire, dragging in fallen logs for seating, or just standing around with beer in hand. Wonderful memories from autumns past.

Update on my Basement

I spent a terrific Thanksgiving weekend at my sister-in-law's cottage where we ate, yakked, walked, lightly boozed, flower arranged, Swedish wove (?), did puzzles, and just enjoyed ourselves. While I was gone, my handyman continued work on my basement. When I returned I found the new rec room ceiling finished complete with pot lights; the new wall between the rec room and sewing room completed with wall sconces; a new boxed valance built over the window; and crown molding installed between the ceiling and walls. This is the room that I'd requested only be painted and have laminate flooring installed.

I'm happy but...there will always be an element of guilt for my good fortune. The guilt won't stop me from being thrilled to death with the transformation, though.

Squawking Kids in Public Places

I recently read a blog written by a lady who was complaining about the behaviour of onlookers when her child was having a tantrum at a restaurant. She was livid because her child was laughed at and cajoled by the onlookers who apparently didn't realize that laughing at a crying child only makes matters worse.

If I'd been there, I wouldn't have been laughing but this is what I would have been thinking..."Lady, take your child aside and deal with the situation yourself. He may be the center of your universe but he is only the periphery of mine and I prefer to dine in peace and quiet conversation. I definitely don't blame him for creating a disturbance but I'm looking at you with more than a little displeasure. You are the responsible party and you shouldn't be allowing anyone under your charge to disturb other people. He doesn't know any better but you should!"

I was in a restaurant once where four adults were dining with a 2 year old who was screaming in the upper decibels. It was disgusting to watch those adults chowing down and completely ignoring the fact that their out of control toddler was ruining the meals of everyone else in that restaurant. It showed total disrespect for the rights of others. It also worried us wondering what was actually wrong with the child.

My daughter had the perfect solution when one of her children had a public tantrum. She or her husband would gently take the child by the hand and take them outside. They'd explain that such behaviour was not acceptable and, if the child chose to calm down, they'd be allowed to go back inside. Only when the tantrum was over did they go back in. This is how children learn what is and isn't acceptable in our society.

Many new-age parents are under the misguided notion that anything their child does should be tolerated by everyone else. What happens is that their child becomes disliked through no fault of their own. They can't understand that their bad behaviour, which is lovingly tolerated by their dopey parents, causes others to avoid them. It's sad to watch these lonely and unhappy children trying to make sense of the more judgmental environment away from home.

When my own children were growing up I'm ashamed to admit that the occasional spanking followed bad behaviour. By the time my grandchildren arrived I had dragged myself out of the dark ages and learned that "time-out" and counting 1-2-3 worked much better. Children are smarter than their parents give them credit for...they learn early which buttons to push to get what they want. In the case of a public tantrum, removing the child can only have positive results...both for the poor child and for the captive onlookers.

Congressman Foley

I've been following the reports on the Congressman Foley sex scandal and it's interesting watching all of those powerful politicians try to cover their asses. We hear how they'll attempt to put in more safety nets so something like this doesn't happen again...of course it involves passing a law. Passing another law might make them look good for the moment but the troubling aspect of this incident is that many of these people knew that this man was a pedophile and turned a blind eye to it. Foley claims he never had physical contact with a child but having cyber sex with one is almost as abhorent.

As a society, if we can't protect our children then we are a deteriorating society. Our children are our future and by that I mean the future of civilization. Anyone who has good reason to believe a child is being molested must report it and make certain the molestation stops. Anyone neglecting their duty is as guilty as the pedophile.

When I was young I had experiences with pedophiles but I was a street wise child and usually capable of keeping myself safe. These sick men (almost always) come in every age, occupation, and marriage status. It made me grow into an adult who has trouble trusting anyone. It's unsettling to discover that someone you had trusted as a family friend or close relative (or political leader) suddenly shows a side of their personality you'd never expected.

I don't believe a pedophile can be rehabilitated. Once a person has crossed that taboo line they are lost forever and we should have no compassion for them. By their selfish and despicable acts they might possibly have destroyed an innocent life. I don't advocate capital punishment (although I'd love to) but they should be incarcerated for life...no exception. Let them have the jail cells presently occupied by recreational marijuana users! The horrendous effects a pedophile can inflict on a human being makes them one of the biggest dangers to our society today.

The one constant miracle in mankind is the innocence of a child and it is imperative that we protect them. At all costs!

Wintering in Florida

It's October 3rd and I'm already half packed to make my yearly trek to Florida for the winter. I consider myself one of the lucky seniors who are able to escape the cold and enjoy warmth and sunshine while my Canadian neighbors are shoveling snow and bundling up in coats and boots. It took many years of hard work and saving to accomplish this so I'm not apologizing for my good fortune...I just wish my husband could have enjoyed the fruits of his labor a bit longer than he did.

We bought a little trailer in a senior park in the spring of 2000. We were both so excited when we returned that fall and my husband immediately began fixing it up. He put in a concrete patio where we spent countless hours entertaining some of the nicest people anywhere in the world. Americans and Canadians live in peace and harmony in this park because we don't allow the few political or religious differences we might have to interfere with our commonality.

We are the "average" people who have worked all our lives in average jobs (no CEO's), and retired with enough resources to live out our lives in relative comfort. Our trailers aren't luxurious in any sense of the word but they are well kept and perfect for our needs. We spend most of our time outside visiting, gardening, or laying around the pool. This simple, leisure retirement is on the endanged list, though, because of drastic housing development in Florida. Developers are buying up trailer parks and orange groves with the speed of light. My particular park is situated quite close to a new development where the housing prices range from $500,000 to $1,000,000 and it worries me to think that it will soon be more profitable for the owners of my park to sell it rather than rent trailer lots.

Last winter I decided to accept the fact that my park probably wouldn't outlast me and some time in the future I'd have to move on. When these parks close, the trailer owners receive almost nothing for their trailers so it would be impossible for me to buy in another park. Fortunately, I have a good friend who will share in the rental of a larger trailer when we have to move. The world is constantly changing and we simply have to alter our plans accordingly. In my case, losing my sweet little trailer isn't the worst that could happen but losing contact with the wonderful people I've been so lucky to spend my winters with would break my heart.

But right now I'll go on packing and planning for what I'm hoping will be another wonderful winter at my Florida home-away-from-home. Life goes on, doesn't it?

Recreating a Basement

My old neighbor and new handyman began working on my basement this week. I'm paying him a flat fee for the whole job and my requests were fairly simple. There are two rooms involved...a small rec room and an even smaller sewing/bedroom. One wall in the sewing room needed to be replaced, all ceiling and walls needed to be painted, and he was to replace the existing carpet with laminate flooring.

One of the biggest problems with this fellow is that he works too hard and does much more than he has to. Having said that, he has already removed every wall from the sewing room (which he will replace), removed all ceiling tile (which he will replace), and removed the whole wall between the sewing room and rec room (which he will replace). He has also decided to replace all light fixtures and completely rewire the basement. This is all wonderful for me but it's a prime example of why he'll never be a rich man.

This whole experience is a bitter sweet one for me because I'm thrilled that my basement is being given a face lift but I ache to see this little 130 pound gentleman pour so much energy and finance into a job he should be making a bit of money on. We're both Leo's and battle constantly about what he's doing...I'd be content with my original requests but he's a perfectionist with unlimited ideas.

Dean is a childhood friend of my daughters and, before he started the job, my daughter told me I'd have to hold him back from overdoing. It's too late! Now I'm getting anxious to see the walls and ceilings back in place. I'll keep you posted!

Who's Your Baby's Daddy?

While I sit and do my Swedish weaving I like to have the T.V. on so I can listen to various talk shows. One of my favorites is Maury Povitch who has some of the oddest people come on and tell the world their outrageous stories.

Lately the theme is often "who's my baby's daddy" and these segments never fail to amaze me. Being a psychology nut, I'm entranced by these women coming on national T.V. to find out who fathered their children. Some need dozens of men tested!

What I find most disturbing is how many of the men express dislike and disrespect for the women they've shared intimate moments with. Do they really think they're any better than she is?

I married very young...I was 17 and my husband was 20. We had three children all fathered by my husband...how old-fashioned!! My children never had to grow up wondering who their father was. He was the hard working guy who lived in our house and brought his paycheck home every week. He was the guy who went to their school plays and their baseball games. He was the guy who took them camping and on vacations. He was the guy who loved them and supported them. This is the kind of man a woman should choose for her "baby's daddy".

Dreary Day

It's a terribly dreary day today...overcast and threat of rain. It makes sense that we should use a day like this to do extra work inside the house but I get terribly lethargic when the weather is bad. My spirits and energy rise on warm, sunny days and that's when I usually dive into intense house cleaning...all the while resenting that I'm stuck in the house on such a nice day. Go figure!

My friend phoned last night and convinced me I should go on walks with her and her Bruce Trail friends. I only agreed after she explained that the group I'd be joining is composed of a few 80 year olds. I know that walking is one of the best exercises and really do find it enjoyable, but I've gotten much busier in my golden years and have many things to do that I enjoy even more. Anyway, it will be a new experience going out with this group so it's worth a try.

It's wise to try new things...unless it's something we know we'll hate. A few years ago my husband and his best friend wanted to take their wives on a 2 month sailing trip in the Caribbean (32' boat). The other wife thought it was a wonderful idea but I was in shock. I knew I'd detest beyond belief being confined on a sailboat for days/weeks on end and refused to go. The men went alone and enjoyed themselves on what they considered one of the best trips they'd ever had. The friend's wife joined her husband when my husband came home and they sailed on for 2 more months. They loved it so much they plan to do it again. I salute them! But for me, I'll always be glad I didn't go. Sometimes we're sorry we didn't try a new experience and sometimes we're grateful we had the foresight to say "no".

It's interesting that some of us are more adventurous than others and I've learned not to be ashamed of my need to be on safe ground. We are what we are and that's all we are!

Packing it Away

Today I began cleaning out my gardens for the winter....kind of early but I leave for Florida at the end of October. I severely cut down the silverleaf dogwoods at the front of the house and proceeded to pull down 4 of the 6 morning glory vines. I can't quite bring myself to pull up the flowering bedding plants yet but will have to do it in a few weeks. I stored the patio chairs in the tool shed and lashed the large patio table on it's side on the deck. It may be my imagination but everything looks pretty neat and organized in the yard this year. One of the reasons is that I've cleared out tons of unnecessary things from the shed and the driveway and given them to Goodwill or tossed them in the garbage. There is still lots to go but I've done enough paring down for this year.

I've spent the last year (since my husband died) removing "clutter" from my house and yard. It's made me wonder why we surround ourselves over the years with so much that we don't need. Part of the reason is laziness in disposing of something once it has no discernible use and part of it is that we think we just might need it again sometime in the future. Another reason is that we can't convince ourselves that this item we absolutely had to have 10 years ago could really have become unnecessary in our lives.

We're a nation of waste and most of us have too much disposable income or credit availability. We're like children who believe all the advertisements telling us we can't live without every new doodad. Then comes the day when we look around us and realize we're being buried in a mountain of clutter. I love to question my reasoning for doing what I do...such as accumulating all this stuff in the first place. The closest I've been able to come to understanding it is that I was feathering my nest. I feathered it a little too long and almost ran out of space for me to be in it.

Last winter I ruthlessly went through my Florida trailer and cleared out 5 years of clutter. It made the trailer look larger and cleaner. I think I've developed the right attitude for getting rid of things...if it doesn't have a purpose, let it go. My next move will be into a smaller house so I keep that in mind when I try to decide whether to keep or discard. My family and friends who help me move will thank me for my choices.

Bootlegger's Granddaughter

I was raised by my grandmother...my mother was there, too, but not involved in my care. Nan (as I called her) was the neighborhood bootlegger so our little apartment was filled with beer drinking men every Sunday. For most of my young years it was always the same men who knocked on the door around 10 A.M. on a Sunday morning looking for the comfort of a glass of beer and some friendly conversation. I used to love to sit in a corner and listen to the stories told and the Irish songs sung...it was always lively and pleasant, not what you might expect in a bootlegger's house. My background is Irish and most of our visitors were also of Irish descent.

My grandmother used to embarrass me, not because of the bootlegging, but because of the orange red hair she sported. Once every few months, when the white hair at the roots measured an inch, she'd use a henna rinse and emerge
with what I thought of as clown hair. She always wore housedresses and only for Christmas day would pull a treasured box from underneath the bed which held her one and only bra and dressy dress. Nan would slave over Christmas dinner and then disappear into the bedroom for her transformation. Soon, the door would open and Nan would walk into the room regal in pink lace, rosy cheeks, and rhinestones. She felt like a queen and everyone would ooh and ahh and tell her she was beautiful. Not me, though, because I was a mean teenager. I wish I could go back and change that!

Nan told me she'd started bootlegging during the depression because money was difficult to come by. She actually made bathtub gin in those years...sorry, I don't know the recipe!! Nan also made hundreds of bottles of preserves during the summer...pickles, fruit, jams, sauces. None of our Sunday visitors left without being given a few bottles to take home. I used to wonder how much this cut into her beer profit.

Over the years, the face of our visitors changed. I remember some of the famous Washington brothers being there...the only black people I knew in those days. Nan wasn't in the slightest racist but had a unique way of expressing it...she'd say they had black skin but a white heart. I never faulted her for her naive views because this was in the 1950's and we were just emerging from the years when blacks were terribly treated. Anway, the Washington brothers seemed to me like exotic creatures because of their musical talents, not because of their skin color.

Near the end of Nan's bootlegging career she began allowing strangers into her home and too many were there to drink into oblivion and then become abusive. All of a sudden our pleasant Sunday get-togethers became drunken arguments between people we barely knew. One even broke a beer bottle and scarred my grandmother's precious diningroom table. That was the day she realized the few dollars she earned wasn't worth the danger she had put herself into.

My grandmother died at the age of 72 in 1961. She was a character to the very end, leaving behind a 46 year old boyfriend.

Moslems vs Christians

The news these days is filled with angry, parading Moslems who have taken offense to something the pope said. I always thought religion existed to preach peace and love but all I see in the newspapers and on television anymore relating to religion is war and sexual molestation. How can the rambling words of an old man, even a church leader, cause so much hatred and violence in the world?

I'm an agnostic and have always noticed that religious differences cause much of the world's problems. How many wars have been fought in the name of religion? How many human beings have been sacrificed in the name of religion? Is this what "god" would want? It baffles me that anyone who considers themselves a religious person could commit such heinous crimes.

We have many Moslems in Canada now but they seem rather isolated from the general community. Is it fear or dislike of us that causes the distance? Canada and the United States, being a melting pot of nationalities and religions, will gradually ease the distrust on both sides but it will take much, much longer for this to happen globally. I often wonder if we're actually capable of true acceptance of another's differences, though.

In the meantime, all of our lives will benefit if we banish "hatred" from our thoughts and take a chance at "understanding".

Flowers for the Soul

This is a picture of the carnations I like to have in my house. One of the reasons I choose carnations is because they last so long as cut flowers. This little bouquet cost me $5.98 and will give my spirits a boost every time I look at it for the next 3 weeks. Pretty cheap mood lift, isn't it?

I used to have over 40 house plants but had to give them up when my husband retired and we were able to spend our winters in Florida. Let's face it, relatives left behind in our cold Canadian winters wouldn't be too thrilled about having to water my 40 plants every week. I now have 3 house plants that winter at my daughter's house where they seem to thrive...they barely hang on at my house during the summer because I tend to forget they're here. 40 house plants remind you of their presence quite easily but 3 lone plants usually become visible only when they wilt and turn brown.

One of the nice things about spending the winter in Florida is to fill the planters at the trailer with colorful flowers at the end of October and watch them flourish through the winter months. Just before I leave Canada, I clean out my gardens and choose a bunch of suitable plants to take south with me. Geraniums are at the top of the list and are allowed across the border as long as all soil has been removed from the roots. I cut them down severely and wrap the roots in wet paper towels and then bag them in baggies or plastic grocery bags so they'll survive the 2 day trip. It's an economical way of adding to my Florida garden.

When I leave for home in April, I gather all the planters and put them together behind my sunroom. They get no direct sunlight but all the rainfall and manage to survive the wicked summer heat...a bit straggly but easily pruned back up.

Just a note: I actually had 4 house plants last October and only remembered to take 3 of them to my daughter. The 4th, a small jade plant, sat forlorn and unwatered for 6 months until I got home in the spring. It's still alive! Isn't nature wonderful?

Good News

My son-in-law had a cancerous kidney removed last December and has been recovering beautifully ever since. He had one of a series of catscans last week and received news today that all is still well. He and my daughter came here to tell me the good news but, looking at my daughter sobbing her heart out from the tension they'd been under, I could see that this rotten disease is taking a bitter toll on their mental health. Only the passing of time will help heal these wounds.

Many years ago I did volunteer work at the Cancer Clinic. My job was to bring patients into the examing rooms but, more often, it meant just sitting with them and letting them talk out their worries and concerns. It always amazed me how many were long term cancer survivors and, the more distant their cancers, how cheery they were. It must be like being given a death sentence and then given another chance at life. Since that time I've come to know many cancer survivors and I haven't met one yet that had a bad attitude.

Life is often what you make of it but I believe that we cherish more what we almost lose, whether it be life, a relationship, success, etc. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could train ourselves to wake up each morning and say "I'm going to be happy today"...and then be happy? Maybe the cancer survivors have learned that little trick.

9/11--A Canadian Perspective

I can't remember a time in my life that I felt such absolute horror as on September 11, 2001. My sister-in-law had phoned and informed me with much sadness that the United States had just suffered a terrorist attack. I turned on the T.V., expecting to hear that some cruel and cowardly terrorist had planted a mailbox bomb, but was horrified to see a large plane fly into the Twin Towers and explode. The emotions that ran through my mind at that moment took my breath away as I sat there in shock watching a scene that will be imbedded in my mind forever.

I'll never forget the scenes of fleeing pedestrians, covered with grey dust and looking almost insane in their terror. When the towers imploded I experienced an anger against the terrorists that bordered on hatred. If I had been the president of the United States at that moment I would have sent every nuclear bomb available to blow Iraq off the face of the earth. And I would have been wrong.

I'm still not exactly sure what nationality the terrorists were but it doesn't really matter. They were misguided by their religious leaders who chose to preach hatred and destruction rather than peace and love for their fellow man. So, do we bomb every mosque in an attempt to stop the evil prophets? I hope we Canadians and Americans, regardless of ethnic origin, have more intelligence and respect for life than to retalliate evil for evil.

Like the holocaust of the second world war, we should never forget what travesties human beings are capable of committing and 9/11 will stand out in history as a day when religion showed it's ugly face. The church, or mosque, will continue to be a powerful influence in our lives, but a religious leader who preaches hatred should be thrown out of the community. I hope and pray that the immigrants to America will develop allegiance to their new country and choose to protect it...because it is now their home.

Peace.

Still Computer Illiterate

I guess I was getting a little too cocky about all I've learned on the computer over the years...it's actually a pitifully tiny amount but each new thing learned was thrilling for me. Now I have somehow lost a few dozen pictures I'd saved and have no idea where they went. I also manage to send long e-mails to friends only to discover they received black pages. I'd love to blame AOL for all my troubles but I have a sneaking suspicion that the fault lies with me.

There's not much use in me calling AOL because I never understand what they so patiently try to explain to me. I have many friends who are computer literate but I don't understand them either. Almost everything I've learned to do on the computer has come by accident so I guess I'll just sit and wait until that lightbulb goes off in my head and then I just might find those damn pictures.

I Love The Casino!

I spent 11 hours at the casino yesterday and loved almost every moment. I thought it might be interesting to explain the allure of the casino from my perspective.

First of all, it's a completely anonymous experience because I prefer to go alone so that I can leave as soon as my money is gone. I enter into the casino "universe" and head straight for the penny slots. It matters little to me how much the final payout is...I just want to play. At my particular casino there are only 8 penny slots so you have to get there early if you want one. Yesterday I was a little late and didn't arrive until noon but, lord love a duck, a lady left a machine just as I walked up so I set my butt on the prized chair with the speed of light.

I deposited $20.00 and received 2000 credits...what a joy to see so many credits to play with! Of course, there are lots of options on how to bet but my choice is to bet one penny on each of 20 lines...total of 20 cents. Just think of the possibilities when you're playing more than one line! You win often but usually lose more often. Yesterday, my money lasted 11 hours and I ended up losing $100 but I had a wonderful time. I realize that I should leave when I'm ahead but my sole purpose in going to the casino is to play the slots as long as possible. And that's why I always come home a loser. One day last year I got home at 4:30 A.M.!

While I was playing, the lady sitting next to me was winning big and I was as happy for her as I was for my own wins. We yakked a bit and enjoyed each other's successes. She told me that the man who had sat at my machine earlier had gotten so angry about losing that he had started hitting the machine. I think that's what they mean by not gambling when it stops being fun. I always take in a set amount of money and go home when it's gone. I also explain to myself that I don't smoke and seldom drink so it's okay for me to gamble occasionally.

All in all, I enjoyed the day immensely and will definitely return another day when I can afford it. My only complaint about yesterday is that my butt was sore from sitting so long. Being a penny slot machine addict isn't for sissies!

Fall Housecleaning

I'm still doggedly trying to clean out my basement of years and years of clutter. The problem lies with my craft supplies and my flea market stock. It's darned near impossible for me to discard any of this stuff but I have to make room for my "handyman" to tear down a wall and lay out new flooring. He's going to hate me when he sees how much he'll have to work around! Oh well, he's an old family friend and very much like a son to me so he'll figure something out.

I love this picture of the Coleus I planted this year. I've never seen another plant that is so varied in color that flowers are not needed. I only planted two tubs which sit at the entrance to my backyard and the color is spectacular. They continue to become fuller and prettier as the season goes on and it will break my heart to pull them up in October.

Another gorgeous leafy plant is the Sweet Potato Vine. The limey green leaves are outstanding and I like to place a few impatiens in the pot with it to give a contrasting burst of color. My garden is very colorful but I'm careful to plant things that need minimum maintenance. I rely heavily on Impatiens because there are so many color choices and they fill out beautifully.

My front garden is full of various perennials that flower from Spring to Fall. I decided this year that, because it gets full sun all afternoon, I'd plant Portulaca among the perennials instead of Impatiens and it's been quite successful. Portulaca seems to thrive on full, hot sun and even drought doesn't bother it. Again, there are many color choices.

I love it when people compliment me on my pretty garden but I'm sure they think I put more effort into it than I actually do. The praise never goes to my head, though, because I remember when we first bought the house in 1968 and I spent many hours transplanting weeds!

Senior Turd Toss

I don't know if the "turd toss" is unique to the senior park I spend my winters at or if it's been used elsewhere. The first time I heard of such a thing, I just thought it was hilarious. I spend 6 months a year at a senior park in Florida where I have more fun than anywhere else on earth. In mid March we congregate on "Easy Street" and sign up for the great Turd Toss contest where the Turd King and the Turd Queen for the coming year will be decided by a toss of the "turd".

We have a new, unused potty sitting regally in the middle of the road...lid open. As each contestant steps up to the line (about 20 feet from the potty), they are handed a damp pantyhose wrapped bundle of cooked speghetti which they have to toss into the potty. On either side of the street are rows of interested spectators cheering on their favorite contestant...to be honest, we cheer them all on!

"Turds" fly through the air landing in, on, or far away from the potty, depending on the tossing skill of the contestant. When someone is lucky enough to land a turd directly into the potty we are ecstatic...there will be a new king or queen this year! Sometimes we have to have a "turd toss off" because of a tie and we end up congratulating the winner and consoling the loser.

At the end of the contest, the winners are draped in regal purple velvet robes and crowns and declared the new Turd King and Turd Queen for the next year. Their duties will be to lead the park parades and appear at park functions wearing their royal attire. We take this quite seriously and treat our royal couple with much respect...and more than a few giggles.

P.S. I just learned how to attach a photo to my blog. One more success story for this computer novice!!

Birthday

I had my 66th birthday last week and one of my favorite presents was on a card from my sister-in-law. It was a button that said "I've Survived Damn Near Everything". And I have! I've found that in life you either survive circumstances or cave in. You can get through many problems by standing perfectly still and gathering your thoughts. In serenity comes clear answers or at least rational ones. You make too many mistakes by acting or reacting impulsively.

For instance....I bought a new fridge from Sears in May. It was defective so they replaced it within a week. Good service, right? Well, the new fridge had a seal so strong that the whole thing pulled away from the wall every time I tried to open it! I phoned and visited the large appliance department a few times asking what I should do. I was told to lower the temperature in the fridge; blame my ceramic tile floors; I had no guarantee with Sears; I had a 3 month guarantee with Sears; I had a 12 month guarantee with Sears. Finally, I decided to return the fridge for a different one costing more. No deal! The department manager refused because I'd already returned one (defective). So I phoned the store manager and made a strong but polite request for fair treatment. My new fridge will arrive this Thursday!

The moral of this story is to stick to your guns but do it politely. Also, go to top management when necessary.

Collingwood Elvis Festival

Four friends and I went to the Collingwood Elvis Festival this past weekend. For anyone who has never seen Elvis impersonators, it is all done in fun without making fun of Elvis himself. The impersonators come in all shapes, sizes, sexes, and ages. No-one actually looks like Elvis but they dress like he did, comb their hair (somewhat) like he did, and sing his wonderful songs with gusto. The main streets of Collingwood were filled with people sharing the same interests and enjoying them with no embarrassment. Many come dressed as Elvis and mix in with the crowds....people smile fondly as they pass by. "Blue Suede Shoes", "Suspicious Minds", "Heartbreak Hotel", and oh, so many more, played and sung everywhere we went. It's magical in a way, how almost 30 years after Elvis died he's still revered and celebrated.

We bought Elvis bracelets, wore Elvis earrings and t-shirts. We sat for hours and watched one performer after another sing the songs of a man who provided us with some of our favorite moments. We sang along until our voices gave out. We stayed up till the wee hours of the morning in our hotel room...laughing, drinking, dancing to Elvis music. At the end of 3 days filled with Elvis, we 5 Grandmothers hugged each other goodbye and promised we'd do it all over again next year!

Life's Pleasures

Life is full of simple pleasures. I started thinking about it this morning after reading my sister-in-law's blog about her passion for roses. Gardening provides so many of us with an overflowing amount of pleasure but there are other things, too. Like soft, summer breezes on our face. Like the sweet sound of a child's giggle. Like the smell of the Christmas turkey merrily roasting in the oven. Like the taste of an ice-cream cone dripping down our hands in the heat of the day. I know there is evil in the world but there is also much beauty. I love to watch my grandchildren's animated faces as they tell me about their lives. I love to watch a little sprig of plant develop roots in a glass of water. Shared laughter with someone I like is pure pleasure. Waking in the morning and seeing my newly painted bedroom when my eyes first open makes me happy. Breaking even at the casino makes me feel like a winner!

I read once that happy people choose to be happy. I suffered from depression from my 20's to my 50's and my memories of that period of time is that I fed on the misery, allowing it to envelope me. Counseling saved my life and taught me that I truly did have choices. I choose to be happy and I am!

DRUGHOUSE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a nice neighborhood, not an upscale one but a very nice working class area. A couple of years ago a young drug dealer rented one of the houses on my street....all the others are occupant owned. Since then we've been dragged from our sleep by his customers leaving the house between 1 A.M. and 5 A.M. and yelling filth. Teenagers from the local high school even frequent this house at lunch time. Since this young man is known to the police and the partying goes on most nights of the week, I can't understand why this has gone on so long without police surveilance putting a stop to it. The young man is related to one of the well known drug lords in the city so neighbors are rightly worried about reporting him or complaining about the noise. Last night, at 4 A.M., I was fed up and phoned police to stop the noise but, of course, by the time police arrived all was quiet. Now I wonder if I've put myself in danger by complaining.

One thing I've learned in my life is that law abiding, tax paying people are not as quickly protected by law enforcement as we'd like to think. Criminals know all the loop holes and weak points in the law. They use our tax dollars for lawyers to defend them even when they've been caught in the act. Many jails have been turned into spas because of "human rights" activists. I can only hope my local drug dealer will move away one day and then my nice little neighborhood will return to normal. This is a selfish thought, I know, but its the only reasonable outcome I can expect.

Life After Death

My friend passing away today has made me realize how important it is to write about what happened after my husband passed away last year.

My husband had been sick for a year with esophagus cancer and we'd (my daughters and I) cared for him at home until he passed away. Immediately after his passing there was a feeling of relief that he was finally free from his pain and misery. My eldest grandson came into the house about 15 minutes after his beloved Grampa died so we left him alone with him to say his goodbyes. I began to worry about my grandson because he had only just turned 21 and it must have been a horrible experience for him to lose his Grampa so I returned to the room to make sure he wasn't too upset.

I stood at the end of the bed with my attention riveted on my grandson when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a burst of energy (?) erupt from my husband. I can only describe it as a density of air that had obvious soft, cloud-like edges but which immediately filled the room almost from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. In the same instant I sensed a tremendous feeling of joy, as though he'd finally escaped his poor, failed body. My youngest daughter walked into the room at that moment but we didn't speak. Later, as we sat and talked and waited for the coroner, my daughter said she'd seen a strange sight when she walked into the room. She'd seen something in the air that filled the room from wall to wall and floor to ceiling and it also spread behind me into the adjoining livingroom (I hadn't seen that because it was behind me). I knew I hadn't imagined what I'd seen but it still shocked me that she'd seen it, too. I believe my husband finally gave up his year long fight and what I saw was his spirit springing free. Its interesting that my daughter and I saw this but my grandson, who had been lost in his own thoughts and prayers, saw nothing.

I'm not religious and have no church affiliation but I do believe in life after death. I don't know what form it will take but my experience with my husband gives me hope that the hereafter will be a good place.

I've told this story many times over the past year and I'm sure most people think I imagined it all but I know what I saw. I wasn't waiting for it to happen or even expecting it--it came as a surprise when I was watching and worrying over my grandson--and then my daughter saw it, too. The experience hasn't driven me to join a church or embrace religion but it has made me feel more secure in the thought that my husband is happy and in a better place.

I wonder if he's found a nice little sailboat and a pretty little lake to sail it in???

A Passing

My dear friend passed away today. She'd found out only 2 weeks ago that she had pancreatic cancer and she had to make her peace with the world and say her goodbyes in that short time. At my age I'll probably lose many more friends, some lifelong, before I say my last goodbyes. Each loss will make me feel as though my life is disintegrating. Death is so damn permanent!

I'm feeling very melancholy today and want to pass on a small word of wisdom. Money doesn't matter. Possessions don't matter. Position doesn't matter. Treasure your family and real friends because that is the only thing that matters in the end.

Making Time

I'm a rabid yard saler and Ebay seller...at least I was until Canada Post raised their rates so high I was embarrassed to tell my customers how much their postage would be. Now I'm limiting myself...no yard saleing until I clear out my stock through my flea market table. This has cleared my weekends so beautifully that I now have the time to meet my sister for coffee on Sundays the way we used to do.

Sometimes we get caught up in work or hobbies and forget that the important things in life are our relationships with family and friends. A simple thing like not having the time to have coffee with my sister on Sunday doesn't seem too important until we realize how short life can be. A few years ago my sister and I weren't speaking for a few months...we both have wicked tempers...and I found a message on my answering machine from her husband saying she was in the hospital. On that long ride to the hospital I kept thinking how no disagreement or tiny hurt feelings were important if they kept really loving sisters apart. It terrified me to think we might never have the chance to be friends again. As it turned out, she had her appendix removed and was as thrilled to see me as I was to see her. It taught me a lesson, though...don't take tomorrow for granted.

Today I'm meeting my sister for coffee and we'll yak and laugh and just enjoy the moment.

Gardening...one of life's greatest pleasures!

I just discovered that I can type my blogs in the color of my choice....probably sounds lame to people who understand computers better than I do but every little new thing I find to do on the computer is a thrill to me!

I've been happily busy preparing my flower gardens, planting, watering, and spreading mulch. This is one of life's simple pleasures that I'll enjoy for as long as I can dig in the dirt. Being retired means that we can putter around in our yards or planters whenever we feel the urge to create beauty in the world....wearing ratty looking clothes and ruining what's left of our fingernails. We know what true beauty is. After fiddling around in the garden for hours, I snuggle into the lawn chair with my feet up, a gin and tonic in my hand, and a smile on my face. Life is good!

One More Day in the Life

I've been awfully sore since I returned from Florida this spring....the reason being I've had to do all the heavy labor that my husband used to do. He passed away last summer after spending 12 months battling cancer (and "battling" is an understatement). I often wonder if he'd be proud of what I've been able to accomplish since he passed away or if he'd be resentful of my successes without him.

There have been times I've had to decide if what I need in the basement or upstairs is worth another trip. I've carted boxloads of things all over the house, and into and out of the car. I've dug so many weeds out of the vegetable garden and flower gardens that I considered it might actually be better to cultivate them. Not much was done around here last year because we home cared my husband throughout his illness so I'm learning that nature takes over in more ways than one if left to follow its own course.

But hard work usually brings contentment at the end and then its time to reap the rewards. This summer I'll be able to sit out in the yard and watch the flowers grow and the vegetables ripen. I'll never forget that it was Dennis' hard labor that originally created my little oasis but I'll also have a better appreciation of my own abilities to carry on.

Touring a Funeral Home

My sister-in-law e-mailed me today to say that she and her husband toured a funeral home which had just opened. Now, there's nothing wrong with doing that if you might be needing such services in the near future but for two healthy, busy people to find a funeral home open house interesting....well, I just think they need a new hobby!

My husband passed away last summer and I was forced to meet with a funeral home representative to make arrangements. For those who might not know, things are done differently now. The representative was wonderful to deal with...very dignified, capable, and kind. We (my three daughters and I) chose a package that covered all the details we preferred not to dwell on but had to be considered. This "package" made the process easier for all of us.

During the funeral, the room was filled with loving and caring family and friends who were there to support us in our time of loss and to show their respect for my husband. Again, this funeral was a little different. Two of our grandsons stood before us and spoke about what their grandfather had meant in their lives...including many very funny stories. My granddaughter played her Grampa's guitar and sang, along with two more granddaughters, two more grandsons and the girlfriend of one of them. Their chosen song was "I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life". We all laughed, cried, and hoped he had, too.

NATIVE UPRISING IN CALEDONIA

I've lived in Canada all my life--within 15 miles of Caledonia, Ontario. And all of my life there have been rumblings among the natives about how their ancestors were cheated out of their land over a hundred years ago.

My great grandfather owned a business less than a hundred years ago and, when he fell on hard times, he was forced to sell out. Does that give me a right to build tire fires outside the business now and demand it be given back to me?

Most of us have strong sympathy for the native culture because we "white" people almost destroyed it--but that was a century or two ago. Its time the natives who are complaining start building their own lives instead of depending on government handouts. When we see them in fatigues and face scarves and calling themselves "warriors", we know they're really a gentle people who have lost the integrity of their ancestors. When we see natives from other provinces and even other countries joining the barricade, we wonder how many natives have employment they can walk away from so easily. We also wonder why the police didn't step in the first day and put a stop to it--arresting the lawless demonstrators who chose to defile our air with the toxic fumes of burning tires and close a main highway through the town.

These natives are arrogant to think they are more important in the scheme of things than their white/black/brown neighbor. They show a great deal of disrespect for others when they care so little about the inconvenience and financial hardships caused by their actions.

Do I think we'll see a resolution to the Caledonia standoff in the near future? No--because the Canadian government is weak and unable to make a conclusive decision in this mess.