Freeloaders

Last night I did a little research on the internet. I often get a thought in my head which leads me to begin looking into something of even momentary interest. Last night my quest was for some insight into freeloaders.

I found out some very interesting things but the one that stuck in my mind is how hard it is to recognize an experienced freeloader early on in the relationship. They're ones who are semi-silent sufferers who give you just enough insight into their lives to think they're needy but proud. Wrong!

They want something for nothing and know all the tricks to achieve their goals. Freeloaders seem to think that the world owes them and they have no shame about taking advantage at every opportunity. Once their victim stops giving they are unceremoniously dumped because they are of no further use. This is fascinating behaviour and it's opened my eyes to the few freeloaders I've encountered in my life.

My research showed that freeloaders were made, not born that way. Something in their childhood twisted their thinking and, like most predators, they can't be fixed.

Many years back my husband and I were visiting New Brunswick and met one of his distant and previously unknown relatives. At some time during our conversation, my husband kindly told the man (about early 20's at that time) to drop in and see us if he ever came to Ontario. Lo and behold, within the month there came a knock at the door and there stood "Henry" with a huge suitcase. We were in shock but, being polite and not realizing we were being used, we allowed him to come in and stay for a few days.

Night after night we lay in bed and listened to this freeloader wander through our house, opening doors and drawers searching or taking we didn't know what. When he made no attempt to move on after a couple of days I gave my husband an ultimatum...tell him to leave or I would. My husband, being slightly more tactful, told "Henry" we were going on vacation so he'd have to find somewhere else to stay. "Henry" was furious, packed his suitcase and stormed out of the house never to be heard from again. Freeloaders have no true understanding of the right or wrong of using people so they feel terribly offended when they are turned away.

According to my research most freeloaders pry money out of their victims but some just get whatever they can...free labor, free meals, free vacations. Some do it so subtly that it takes us a long time to realize we're being used. It was interesting to note that freeloaders can also be described as narcissists because they are so self absorbed.

It's as though they are incapable of learning or practicing common social rules. In their minds they are very comfortable with "taking" so there is no need to change. And they don't change but just move from one victim to another.

Human behaviour never fails to amaze me and having the internet to provide information is terrific. Anything I want to know is just a few finger taps on the keyboard away. What I learned from this little excursion was how to recognize a freeloader so my time was well spent.