Sunday, June 30, 2013

Grampa and Ice-Cream in Coffee Mugs

I was reminded today of one of our family traditions...practiced only by Dennis with his grandchildren.  He'd feed them ice-cream in coffee mugs and it made good sense.  They could hold onto the handle while they ate and not freeze their little hands off.  The kids still remember that as one of the special times they had with their Grampa.

I Concede

Cleaning out the part of the rec room I use for my jewelry (stuff I sell) made me worry about where it would all go in the apartment.  This morning I 99% finished cleaning out my sewing room and now I know there is no way in hell all this stuff is going to fit into the spare bedroom of the apartment.  Much will just have to go in the storage locker and that's all there is to it.

I hate it when my plans don't work out.  It doesn't bother me that the spare bedroom will be a little crowded...I can live with that as long as the rest of the apartment is nice and roomy.  Mary, my usual overnight guest, might not like it but she'll be understanding and not complain.  When she visits, we both usually go to bed after enjoying a couple of drinks so I'm sure she won't mind it too much.

I was talking to Cindy last night and telling her how much packing I've gotten done but there's still so much more waiting to be done and the house just looks messier and messier.  You'd think it would look neater as things get packed away but that's not the way it is.

One good thing, I found the poster on the internet that I want so I'll see if the framing store near here can order it and frame it for me.  I must have looked through hundreds of pictures of available posters and, lo and behold, there was the one I'd seen a few months ago and fell in love with.  It's a field of poppies and it will look gorgeous over the sofa.  The apartment walls are beige, of course, and the floors are dark brown parquet.  My sofa is  a very light taupe beige so having a colorful picture above it is necessary.  I want to get an area rug for in front of the sofa, too, and that will have to be beige with some touches of bright color.

It's kind of fun starting fresh like this but I'm getting awfully tired from the work involved with packing and planning.  It will probably be September before I'll be all settled in but that's okay.  I'm already looking forward to the ravine's autumn colors I'll be able to see through the patio door.  

Saturday, June 29, 2013

F... You

I was wakened out of a deep sleep at 2 A.M. by the sounds of young men arguing a few houses up the street.  Actually, all I heard was, "blah, blah, blah, f... you, blah, blah, go f... yourself, blah, blah, blah".  Over and over again and screamed out like a bunch of drunken maniacs!

At one point, I almost phoned the police because a scuffle broke out on the sidewalk but it quickly ended and a car pulled away. I'm assuming it was a drunken party gone bad.

Anyway, it got me wondering why angry people scream "f... you" at each other.  Why would you want someone you're furious with to receive any kind of pleasure?

One of the mysteries of life.     

Friday, June 28, 2013

Rainy Day

Sometimes a rainy day makes you feel good about life.  You can see how happy the outside plants and the grass are soaking it all up and even flourishing before your eyes.  The rain cleans the dust and dirt from the concrete, too, and that makes it bearable to live with.  One of the prettiest sights is, after a cleansing rainfall, to see the sun come out and start to dry up the remaining puddles.  Without rain we would cease to exist.

The working public might not appreciate rain on the weekends but we seniors can enjoy it any time of the week.  Of course, I can only tolerate rainy, cloudy days one day at a time or I get antsy for the sunshine.  It's one of the things I love about Florida in the winter...rare rain and lots of sunshine.  When I have to stay home for the winters I might become depressed because all I recall about Canadian winters are strings of dreary, overcast days when you almost forget there is a sun in the sky.  The cold can be dealt with but not prolonged absence of sunshine.

But this is summer in Canada and the odd rainy day can be a welcome event.  For some it's the time to get inside work done but not for me.  Rainy days to me mean doing as little as possible, maybe some reading or Swedish weaving.  You see, the rain calms me and I'm waiting for the sun to peep back out to energize me.  I've long stopped trying to analyse why the weather affects me this way and just go with the flow.  Today I will be only a bystander in life...and wait calmly for the sun to shine once again.     


Thursday, June 27, 2013

Swedish Weaving Stash

Before use, monk's cloth has to have the edges sewn before washing the fabric in hot water to keep it from ravelling.  I've spent the last 2 days zigzag stitching most pieces not already prepared and then washing them because I will have to pay to use washers at the apartment.  I have one heck of a lot of fabric and there's still a bit more to do.  I decided not to bother preparing the huge bag of monk's cloth remnants because I have a huge bag full already prepared.  I have about 10 precut and packaged pieces that will also have to wait to be prepared until I want to work on them, if I live that long.  By buying all of this fabric, I really must have thought I'd live well into my hundreds and be able to do Swedish weaving right up to my last day.

I'll have to tell my kids that some of the large pieces of monk's cloth are probably as valuable as some of my carnival glass.  The fabric and glass may be all they get when I go to my reward.

Shelley is bringing me up some of those storage bags you vacuum the air out of and I'm hoping it will give me lots of room in the apartment for all this monk's cloth.  I really enjoy doing this craft but I have to admit I just might have gone a little berserk stockpiling so much of it.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Found Ferne's Gift

There's much to be said about keeping old paper clippings or old letters that touched you when you first received them.  One day, when cleaning out your house for a move, you might come upon them and they'll touch you once again.

I found this little pamphlet tucked way back in the hall closet when I was cleaning on Monday and I'm so glad I kept it.  My mother-in-law (Ferne) often sent her letters written on things such as these because she knew we'd like them as much as she did.  Here is what was printed on the pamphlet in 1974 and sent in July, 1977:

MY CREED

In some way, however small and secret, each of us is a little mad.  Everyone is lonely at bottom and cries to be understood; but we can never entirely understand someone else, and each of us remains part stranger even to those who love us.  It is the weak who are cruel~gentleness is to be expected only from the strong.  Those who do not know fear are not really brave, for courage is the capacity to confront what can be imagined.  You can understand people better if you look at them~no matter how old or impressive they may be~as if they are children.  For most of us never mature; we simply grow taller.  Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable.  The purpose of life is to matter~to count, to stand for something, to have it make some difference that we lived at all.

I don't know who wrote those words but they touched a nerve in me in 1977 and today.  They're beautifully insightful, not condemning how imperfect we human beings are but accepting the imperfections yet knowing we can all do better with this life we've been granted.

I believe we're here on earth for a reason and that reason might be simply to learn to accept and not judge.  I, for one, haven't learned that particular lesson yet...maybe one day.    

Old Facebook Pictures and Equality

I'm just listening to the comedy channel on T.V. and the comedian is talking about how many people put old, really old, photos of themselves on Facebook.  I happen to know a couple of people who do that and it's really hilarious.  If you ran into these people, you'd never recognize them now.  I can only imagine the reason they use 20 year old photos is to pretend they're something they're not.  Ick!

Now on to something serious...I saw on my granddaughter's facebook comments that a Texas senator filibustered for half a day trying to prevent the government from passing a bill to criminalize abortions.  My own stand on abortions is a little shaky because I understand that a fetus is a human being but I also feel strongly that a woman should have the right to decide what happens to her own body.  But when it comes down to the nitty gritty, I have to side with the woman's rights.

There was a time in North America when women were nothing more than chattels of the male population (still are in some parts of the world) so we've come a long way in demanding and earning our equal rights.  Judging by what's happening in Texas, we obviously haven't reached full equality yet.  Our governing bodies are heavily dominated by men so until that is changed and the ratio is more even we won't really have equality, either.

I've written before about how it was to be a female in the 1950's when I was just a teen and how I was brainwashed to believe in the status quo where males dominated.  Living through the 1960's when smart and strong women marched and sometimes made fools of themselves in their quest for equal rights was an eye opener for me.  It was as though I'd been living in darkness previous to that time with no idea that women were being treated unfairly by men until it was pointed out to me by the "women's movement".  And once your eyes are opened, you can't close them to injustice.

The 1960's was an important decade because it changed our world.  We were taught that racism and sexism were unfair and not to be tolerated.  Hard to believe that such enlightenment came about in so short a time but it did...and it was a joy to witness.  Unfortunately, here it is 50+ years later and some of both still exist but there has been definite improvement so there is hope we'll extinguish racism and sexism in the next 50 years.

But Texas is lagging behind.  It might take them 60 years but it will happen!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Nicole at 2

Packing to move out of a house I've lived in for 45 years means finding old and forgotten treasures tucked into the recesses of closets and drawers.  I cleaned out the hall closet this morning and found old photos and letters that I'd forgotten existed and they will make the trip to my apartment.  Among the photos is the one above of Nicole at 2 years of age.  She was extraordinarily beautiful and she hated me at that time...I think she loves me now.  

I also found the deed to the house that I tried to convince Kim she had.  Oh, well.  

Nash Unsettled

I'm taking care of Nash today and, as usual, was a little worried how he'd react to being left here.  I think it helped that his maternal Gramma brought him instead of his mother or father but he wasn't quite as happy to be here as he was last month.  He entered the house a bit slowly and refused to take off his shoes (he seems to feel that if he has his shoes on he doesn't have to stay).  I offered toys and cookies but he remained steadfast at the front door sucking his thumb...such a tiny little boy not too sure what's happening to him.

I finally got him settled by asking if he wanted to go outside and help me in the garden.  Maybe just being outside meant to him that he might not be staying.  LOL!  Anyway, we went out and I did some trimming, handing pieces to him to put in the garbage bin and he liked that.  He played with his outdoor toys for a while but we're in the midst of a heat wave and it was terribly warm and humid out even early this morning so we came in and he happily played with his indoor toys.  It breaks my heart when he's unhappy about being here with me but I know he'll become more comfortable as he gets older.

It is so very important in the lives of children that they gather in and are gathered in by as many family members as possible.  A large community of a loving family just about guarantees that the child will grow up to be a self assured and confident adult.  I often think how much my little ones have lost by not having their greatgrandfather, Dennis, to teach them all he could have done.  They lost their grandfather, Chester, last year and he also could have been a wonderful influence in their lives. 

Well, I'm still here and I'll do my best to instil love and commitment to family in these little ones.  It's all done with play and loving, undivided attention to them.  It's an easy job because I adore them.  

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Judging

It's still bugging me about how badly Paula Deen has been slammed for using the "N" word.  If all of our lifelong so-called indiscretions were brought to light, not a single one of us would look too good.  I've done and said things that I can't take back and am deeply ashamed of but life goes on.  I'm not the same person I was 20, 30, 40, or 50 years ago and it wouldn't be fair to judge me on my past indiscretions.

I honestly think that the people, black or white, who are making such a fuss about Paula Deen are doing it to make headlines and to draw attention to the "perfect" (bullfeathers) person they're trying to appear.  I bet the indiscretions in their own past would make all of us blush.

Judging and bashing a person on the basis of their use of one darned word is absolutely stupid.  Blacks and bleeding heart white liberals need to give themselves a shake and just move on.




Saturday, June 22, 2013

A Question or Two

Sometimes a person commits a horrible crime like murder and isn't caught until years later.  In the meantime, they carry on living what appears to be a perfectly normal life.  They might have a career, get married and have children and maybe even become churchgoing do-gooders.  Inside their mind they must bear some guilt or at least memories of the crime they committed but no-one around them could ever guess what kind of person they really are.

How does a human being live an every day life knowing deep inside that they've committed a sin so horrendous that, once discovered, will destroy the lives they've created?  How does a human being who has committed a horrible crime live with themselves sometimes for decades before having to face the consequences of that crime?  Do they suffer silently?  Do they bury it so deeply in the back of their mind that they are able to almost forget it happened?

With the discovery of using DNA to prosecute old crimes, how many of these criminals are terrified that it's only a matter of time before their moment of truth and consequences will come to light?  It must be tough on them.  Good.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Paula Deen and the "N" Word

Give me a bloomin' break!  Paula Deen admitted using the "N" word in her past and people are trying to destroy her career because of it.  It's an ugly word with ugly connotations but it was easily used by whites back in the old days (not always as an insult in their minds, either) and is still easily used by blacks.  Because a white person once displayed thoughts and words that are now racially unacceptable should never mean that they should receive this kind of ostracism.  It's like taking away the career of a black person who once said "honky".

Words can hurt and humiliate and that's a good reason not to use them but we've all said and done things in our past that we regret today and shouldn't have to pay the rest of our lives for the indiscretion of using insulting words.  We do progress in our thinking, you know!

I like to brag that I've never used that awful word and it's because it was never used in  my family.  I learned very young that it was a cruel word for whites to use when referring to blacks but I've really never understood why some blacks use it.  "Honky" doesn't bother me so I'm immune to any insult intended in it's use.  Maybe blacks should follow my example when they hear the "N" word.  It says nothing about them but says a whole lot of negative about the user.

Fabric Junkie


Years ago, when my major craft was quilting, I was a fabric junkie.  I couldn't pass up pretty fabric even if I had no idea how it would eventually be used.  Now that I'm clearing out excess that won't make the move with me I had dreaded looking into the 7 unopened totes in my sewing room.  But today was the day.

I spent hours down in the basement bagging beautiful fabric (sigh!) that I honestly couldn't even think I might use in the next couple of years.  Linda, the lady who cleaned my house last month, had said she might want some so I've called her to let her know it's here for the taking.  I hope she does pick it up because there are 7-8 very heavy garbage bags full that I don't want to have to carry up the stairs, into my car, and out of my car to the Salvation Army.  I now have 6 empty totes to fill with monk's cloth and the jewellery I sell!  My remaining stuff down in the basement is starting to look doable...well, the monk's cloth is sort of worrisome but it's going with me one way or another.

I saw the lawyer yesterday and selling a house by yourself isn't really a big deal because the lawyer looks after the most important part.  You just hand them the offer, they research what they have to, take their payment and pay off any outstanding mortgages or liens, and then deposit the rest in your account on the day of sale.  Of course, my desk is covered in notes and dates that I've arranged something regarding the move and I'm hoping, as they pile higher and higher, that nothing important gets buried out of my sight.

Well, I'm done working for the day and it's only 9:30 A.M. but I was up at 6 and I have got a lot done in that time.  I don't have back problems, thank heavens, but my back is bothering me these days due to the constant lifting that packing requires.  I think I'll do some Swedish weaving and maybe have a nap this afternoon...haven't had one in weeks!   


Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Selling My House Fills My Mind

The process of selling this darned house seems to be consuming my mind and not allowing me to concentrate on any other, more important, things that are happening in the world.  I'm not stressing but I can't stop looking at my possessions and wondering which I can live without when I move.  There are so many that I could kick myself for living with them for so many years.  I've toted bags upon bags of clothes to the Salvation Army and given away 1 piece of carnival glass.  Kim joked that they'd have all my carnival glass and monk's cloth buried with me when I die because it's almost impossible for me to give that stuff up.  

I watched a commercial on T.V. the other day for those storage bags that you can suck the air out of and that's what I'll need to buy to store all my monk's cloth in the apartment.  I'll just have to figure something out for the carnival glass because I can't give up much of it at all.

Lisa and her cousin brought me over their written offer last night...their lawyer told them to deliver it to me instead of him faxing it to my lawyer.  I'll take it down to my lawyer today if she's available.  Hopefully, we can get this show on the road by the end of the week.

Oh yes, my neighbor's father dropped over in the afternoon to raise his offer on my house and I told him that I'd already made my promise to Lisa's family and couldn't even consider his now.  It's only money and I have to live with myself.  Lisa's family did raise their offer $10,000 because of him so I really should thank him a lot.

Oh well, I guess I should try to think about the world outside my door now.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Moving

There was a time in my life that moving, even with 3 kids, wasn't a humungous job...not in today's world, though.  I made a firm commitment last night to sell the house and this morning began to call half the world about things that needed to be cancelled (water heater rental, gas, hydro, security system, house insurance, lawn service, cable/internet/phone) and things that need my change of address (insurance, pensions, doctor, dentist, dermatologist, driver's licence, health card).  Most were fairly easy but some (driver's licence and health card) were impossible to do without going to the office downtown.  They can wait a while.  My computer desk looks like a bomb went off on it and I can only hope I put all my I.D. back in the right place.

I packed a large tote box with my embarrassingly large collection of shoes...I'm only keeping half of what I have.  I also filled another large garbage bag with clothes I don't need and will take it over to the Salvation Army today.  It's scary to think how many clothes I had that I never wear.  Such a waste.

I have no idea how people do all their moving in one day but I guess it's easier on you when you're young, strong of body and mind, and enthusiastic.  I'm taking a month because I don't want to be overwhelmed.

One day soon it will all be done and I can relax.  




Sunday, June 16, 2013

Some Drama/Some Peace of Mind

I learned something about selling a house.  The peace of mind doesn't necessarily come with having it sold but with having a new home to move into.  Since I signed the lease for the apartment I've calmed right down and my stress level is pretty darned low.  You wouldn't think it would be that way since my house isn't actually sold yet.

My plan is to wait until Wednesday for a definite offer sent to my lawyer and if none are forthcoming I will call a realtor and list the property.  For some reason I'm not as anxious about people traipsing through my house as I was earlier.  I really believe that not knowing where I'd be living was the big problem and now that I have my cute apartment the stress has almost dropped away.

Kim and I are going out today to purchase a new double sized bed for me...I hate my queen sized one because I feel lost in it.  Life does go on no matter what gets tossed at you, doesn't it?

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Dilemma

I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.  Another neighbor just found out I was selling my house and wants to offer me more money for it.  I had waited all week for the Chinese family to place an offer with my lawyer but they didn't so now that might have been a good thing.  I don't know.  They still want the house but the other neighbor might offer more so I'm giving him until Monday to make a legal offer.  Regardless of what happens here, I'm moving into my new apartment August 1st but may have to end up putting the sale into the hands of a realtor.  My family feels that without a legal offer through my lawyer it makes sense to leave the sale open and I agree.

Houses sell really fast in this area and I'm not concerned if I do have to hire a realtor.  I just hate having to pay one but what will be will be and I'm not going to worry about it.  I knew everything was just progressing too easy!

Funny, I've had trouble sleeping lately because I'm so wound up about selling the house and moving but last night I slept like a baby.  I think it's because it's all out of my hands now.  In one way or another, I'll sell the house and I will be moving Aug. 1st into my cute apartment.  

Sometimes the fates have something different in store for you than you'd anticipated.  

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Aeron's Graduation

Cindy, Don, Dennis, Tyson, Larry, Mary, Kim, Carter, and I attended Aeron's graduation this morning and I was so very proud of my #1 granddaughter.  She's a hard worker, working 2 or 3 jobs all summer and at least one the rest of the year while going to university.  She's beautiful, smart, dedicated, and a darned nice girl, too.  And I'm not biased because it's all true.

There were hundreds of graduates there today and the room was filled to the rafters with their proud families and friends.  Most university or college children (they'll always be our children) don't go there alone...they carry the hopes and dreams of everyone who loves them.  They are our progeny and our contribution to a better world.

Momma Cindy and Auntie Kim were the most emotional ones, crying often but not lengthily, thank heavens.  Kim and Dennis heaped rose bouquets on Aeron and she looked just like a grad should look in her grad gown.  Aeron, my ever smiling and lovely first born granddaughter!

We all went out to a pub/restaurant for lunch afterwards...it was the one where both Aeron and her boyfriend, Carter, work.  I hadn't seen her Gramma Mary or Uncle Larry for years so it was nice to get re-aquainted.  We're all family and we all love our Aeron.

Tonight I'll probably vegetate in front of the T.V. and think back on those precious days when I babysat Aeron, Tyson, and Kyle and formed the bond that exists between us today.  Time spent with children is one of the most important things we can do with our lives and I'll always cherish those times and those memories.

Aeron is just starting out in her life while mine is on the down slide but she'll always carry the seeds of my influence and the genes we share.  I love her dearly and wish her all the happiness that life can bring her.  

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Getting Ready For The Move

I am so glad I started decluttering this house a few years ago because I'm reaping the rewards now that a move is imminent.  This morning I filled 3 large garbage bags with clothes I will never wear again and took it all to the Salvation Army.  There's still more but not much now.  I think my biggest concern is how to choose what craft items to take with me and which to dispose of.  I already know what I'm taking in furniture and it won't be a lot.  It will be fun to take my time shopping for the few things I'll have to buy.

My back has started bothering me and I think it's stress.  I'm not sleeping well at all and that's probably stress, too.  Just considering all the logistics of what is needed to move a household of 45 years is keeping my brain from letting go and that will probably go on until I'm safely and completely moved into the apartment.  Mixed in with all the stress is elation and excitement.  I'm too old to have my emotions all wound up like this!

Monday, June 10, 2013

Day With Nolan

This was my Monday to take care of Nolan but the weather was just awful...cold and rainy.  I can't figure out why we have so many severe ups and downs of temperatures these days.  For a few days it's hot and I have to use fans inside the house (it takes really hot weather for me to use the central air) and then it gets so cold that thoughts of turning on the furnace fill my head.

Nolan was so good all day, playing with his toys in the morning and not complaining too much that we had lunch at McDonald's a little later than usual.  I had to go down to the apartment and sign an application at 2 P.M. so I timed lunch to coincide with that.  We toured the apartment again and I like it even more now than I did the first time.  I won't know until Friday if I can have it for July 1st or August 1st, though.  It's so neat and clean!!

I'd been up since 4 A.M. high as a kite on adrenalin but it was Nolan who konked out about 3:30 and I had to drag him awake at 4:30.  He hates anyone waking him up but I put a bowl of Goldfish in front of him and that helped.  We'd watched about 3/4 of "Black Beauty" before I noticed he'd crashed but I knew he was tired because he'd stopped talking.  Nick picked him up just after 5 P.M.  

I found out today that both buyers and sellers of a house can't legally use the same lawyer so I've arranged one for myself and the buyers will have to do the same.  Everything is moving so fast and smoothly that I can't help but think a great big glitch is just waiting to screw it all up.  Fingers crossed!

Sunday, June 09, 2013

Russell Peters...again

I just watched my favorite stand up comedian, Russell Peters, in a new skit I hadn't seen before.  This man is a genius.  He just never fails to make me laugh and agree with whatever racial joke he's telling...he makes fun of every nationality and race in the world, including Canadians...and he hits the mark every time.  We're all a hoot when you think about it.

Something he said hit a particular note with me.  He said that it bugs him when black people refer to themselves as African Americans or Canadians, most of whom have no experience whatsoever with Africa and no connection to it other than their race.  He said he has always referred to himself as an Indian until he visited India.  Departing the plane to the smells of India turned him right back into a Canadian pretty darned fast.  This is how I see it, too.  My heritage is Irish and who knows what else but I'm not an Irishman.  I'm Canadian.  A black woman born in Buffalo, New York is not an African American, she's an American.  Doesn't this make sense?

Russell Peters gets away with his racial jokes because he makes fun of every race and also himself.  There is no meanness in his jokes, just making us laugh at ourselves and the idiosyncrasies we all have.  If we are ever able to live together in unity, one of the first people we have to thank for it is Russell Peters.  He understands.  

Saturday, June 08, 2013

I Sold the House

My house is sold and I can't believe it was as easy as it seems to have been.  The Tran's family members bought it and will allow me to leave anything here that I don't want to take with me.  That is a load off my shoulders because there is furniture that none of my family want so I can just leave it here and not have to worry about having it carted to the Salvation Army.  They have been very lenient in when they want to take possession and that takes away more of my worries.

Now to get a lawyer and hope the nice apartment I saw on Friday is still available.  Then will come the daunting task of packing up to move after 45 years in this house but I'm hoping to get the apartment a month earlier than actually moving in so that I can take stuff over a bit at a time.

There has been no moment I've felt like selling the house is a mistake because I've hated the burden of looking after it for years, probably since Dennis got sick.  It's time to release myself from that burden and I'm looking forward to a smaller living space, too.  The apartment has 2 bedrooms, one of which will hold the twin bed, the computer, and craft supplies.  I want to keep the apartment uncluttered from the start.

This is a momentous move in my life and I'm hoping that it will be a good one with as few stumbling blocks as possible.  Fingers crossed!

Gay Serial Killers

Sometimes when I'm cruising around the internet, one thing leads to another until I'm far into a subject I hadn't even thought about before.  Today I started out looking for apartments and before I knew it I was reading about the ratio of heterosexual serial killers to gay serial killers.  How about that?

I saw two sources for the ratio of gay serial killers and they were very far apart...14% or 40%...but both sources were people repeating information they'd found elsewhere and not from their own research.  Nonetheless, I started thinking about how many serial killers I've heard about who were actually gay and it got me wondering why this should be.  I use logic a lot and it seems that gay people are under more stress than the heterosexual community and stress leads to all kinds of emotional damage.  This could be the logical reason for there to be a larger proportion of gay serial killers than we should expect (apparently 10% of the population is gay).  Being cruelly treated for their sexual preference all of their lives would make anyone hateful.  

Of course, there has to be a bit of mental illness to create a serial killer, too.  And that leads into my belief that many gay people are not born that way but choose homosexuality because of some traumatic experience in their lives.  We have all heard of straight people deciding later in life to "cross over".

No matter what their choice, it's no-one else's business who they play with and one day in the future it will be a completely accepted practice with no stigma or bullying attached.  But today we shouldn't be surprised that there might be a slightly larger ratio of gay serial killers in our midst because violence and hatred often breed true.  It's the old story of what goes around, comes around.

Friday, June 07, 2013

Selling My House

Yesterday I realized that I would be foolish to try to stay in my house for another two years when I had a potential buyer waiting in the wings, one I could sell to without using a real estate agent and the fee they would charge.  I also wouldn't have to put up with dozens of people traipsing through my house if it was in the hands of a realty.  So I called Lisa and told her that her cousins were welcome to see the house now and buy it if they chose to do so.  They arrived about 8 P.M.

Her cousins are very sweet and polite people who showed a great deal of respect as they looked around the house.  I suggested they come back in the daytime to have a better look around and they'll come back on Sunday.  They'll also have an inspector check it out if they decide to buy it and that's a smart thing for them to do.  I told Lisa that I wouldn't sell for less than I'm asking and I do mean that.  If I can't get my asking price it would make more sense for me to wait out the two years I'd originally intended and that would give me more time to prepare to move.

My house needs some work but I don't think there's anything too wrong with it.  After all, the house is 60 years old so some problems will exist.  This is such a huge move on my part and somewhat frightening just considering the logistics.  I need to find an apartment I want to live in for, hopefully, quite a few years and I do have a ton of stuff to get rid of before actually moving.  Luckily, the couple who are interested will let me leave anything I don't want to take with me.  They are recent immigrants so they don't have furnishings.

Today I'll try to look at some apartments that interest me and hope they'll be available soon.  I'd like to take possession of an apartment at least one month before needing to move into it so that I can move in gradually.  This has been my plan all along but I'd thought that it wouldn't be happening for a couple of years.  Nonetheless, I'm nervous about such a momentous move but getting a little excited about it, too.  I don't need this house or the upkeep it demands of me.  Whether the house sells this year or in 2 years, the time has come.

  

Thursday, June 06, 2013

From Ecstasy to Wariness

Just a few days ago I was feeling so euphoric and now, after the mouse episode, it's turned to wariness where every little movement or possible movement has me on edge.  I knew the extra good feelings wouldn't last forever but I didn't think they'd be buried so quickly and so emphatically.

I didn't sleep well last night because every little sound in the darkness startled me into full awareness.  This too shall pass with time and no new sign of critters in my house.  I watched a movie on T.V. last night where there was a party on the patio and all doors were left wide open for the guests to come and go into the house.  I thought, once again, why don't they worry about critters crawling in?  It seems as though lots of people in Florida where snakes abound keep their doors open, maybe to cool the house.  This always worries me when I see it.

With each passing day my wariness will fade away to normal but not yet.  I know darned well that there is no guarantee that my mouse was a solo traveller.

Mary and Faye are coming over this afternoon and we'll go out for an early dinner.  I'll tell them about this epic incident in my life and they'll console me.  Either that or nag me once again to sell this house and move into an apartment.  By the way, I already have a possible buyer who would like me to do that sooner than 2015.  I'm beginning to reconsider. 

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

OMG, Mouse!

I've dealt with squirrels and centipedes and kept my sanity but today I was shocked out of my mind.  About 25 years ago I saw a mouse in the house and my husband set traps and caught two. I never saw another mouse after that.  A few years ago I saw evidence that there were mice in the house because the stash of toilet paper under the bathroom sink was shredded.  Slightly horrified, I put a whole pile of D-Con around the house and never did see a mouse or evidence of one again.

This morning I was playing on the computer and a mouse strolled by.  If the windows had been open the neighbors would have thought someone was killing me.  I screamed loudly and repeatedly as I tried to tell myself I was seeing things but the darned thing just kept running around the room.  I was at a total loss as to what I should do because I'd never had to deal with anything like this before.  I phoned the pest control company and begged them to come and catch the damn thing but they said they don't actually catch mice, they set out poison traps for them.  I seriously considered going to live with Kim until the traps killed any living thing in my house but somehow I managed to calm down (a bit) and accepted the pest control man's offer to be at my house in a few hours.

In the meantime, I was a nervous wreck, afraid to go into the livingroom but afraid to let the friggin' mouse out of my sight.  It would disappear for a few minutes and then stroll by again, setting me off on another bout of screaming.  I then did something that I'm not proud of.  My defence against bugs is to spray the living daylights out of them with Raid and that's what I did to the mouse.  It had an effect because the icky thing slowed down enough for me to get a colander (I wanted something disposable) and trap it underneath.  I laid a heavy glass dish on top of the colander to weigh it down.

Not being able to stay in the house with a live mouse, I got my Swedish weaving together and went out in the yard to wait for the pest control people.

When he arrived, he was greeted by an old lady wringing her hands and rambling incoherently.  He was very kind and told me he'd take care of my problem.  He has red hair like Matt and I love him.

He shoved a piece of cardboard under the colander to trap the mouse and tossed it outside.  I watched in terror but I had to see that critter leave or I wouldn't believe it was gone.  Apparently it was almost dead anyway from the Raid I sprayed on it.  My saviour put a bunch of poisoned food traps around the house because if one mouse got in, another could have also.  I wrote him a cheque for $169.50 and thanked him profusely.

I think this thing got in the front door because there is a gap under the storm door that Don, the handyman, couldn't seem to close properly.  I will never leave the front door open again.

Somehow I've been able to convince myself that maybe, just maybe only that one mouse got into my house.  It could happen, you know.  I have to tell myself this or I might not be able to sleep here tonight.  The poison traps could take days to kill off any other mouse that might be in here.  I prefer to think my mouse was travelling alone.  I hope he was.   

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Surprisingly Bored

The power went out in the early evening when the light was just beginning to fade.  I, who like to brag that I'm almost never bored, looked around at the black screens on the T.V. and computer and got a little panic stricken.  I lit 2 candles, one in the kitchen and one in the bathroom (I know my priorities) and realized they didn't throw off enough light for me to read or do some Swedish weaving.  Yikes!  I seriously considered hopping in the car and just driving until the power came back on but I have trouble driving in the dark, too.  Mind you, there was still lots of light outside but you just knew it wouldn't last long.

I was bored.  The power was just out for about half an hour but it seemed longer because I was pacing around like a caged animal wondering what to do with myself.  It was much too early to go to bed and I wondered exactly how bored I would be by my normal bedtime of 10:30 P.M.  What do other people who live alone do when the power is off all evening?  You can't even clean house!  Then I thought about people in jails where they stay for hours in cells with nothing to comfort them but a blanket.  I'm not talking about Canadian jail cells where prisoners have all the conveniences and more during their incarceration but I've heard that south american jails aren't as cushy.

It really surprised me how fast boredom set in...minutes, in fact.  Certain things can be counted on to bore me to tears, church services and political discussions top the list but there are others.  Having to sit through anything I'm not interested in will make me so antsy I can hardly sit still.  Being in the company of pompous or crude people will make me head for the door at the first opportunity.  My need to escape from what bores or irritates me is getting worse each year I age so I don't think I'll be any more tolerant next year.

Anyway, I was standing at the front door expecting to see at least a few neighbors outside discussing our terrible situation when I heard a few clicks and the power came back on.  I had T.V. and computer again and my world settled right down to normal.  Boredom slipped off my shoulders like water off a duck as I plunked my behind into the computer chair and did what I do best...nothing much but something interesting, at least to me.   

Sunday, June 02, 2013

Stupid Problem/Simple Solution

I know all women are not as mechanically challenged as I am but too darned many of my problems with this house seem to be easily solved by a man.

Last fall I bought a leaf blower/mulcher and had a hard time switching it to the leaf blower function earlier this spring.  Cindy fixed it for me.  Today I couldn't figure out why there didn't seem to be much power blowing the leaves off the patio and I noticed there was a lot of air being blown out the underside of the thing.  My solution was to put a piece of plastic between the fan and the cover...not a smart thing to do, it turned out.

When I turned on the leaf blower, the fan went crazy tearing up the plastic and the noise startled my next door neighbor, John, who peeked over the fence to see if I was okay.  I explained the situation and he was kind enough, as usual, to come over and check it out himself.  The problem was that the tube was blocked with mulch which inhibited the air flow.  I'd never thought of that.

Thank you once again, John. 

Exhilarated

Every once in a while throughout your life, you wake up one morning and feel exhilarated.  It may be for any number of reasons each time but sometimes you just don't know the reason.

This morning was one such morning for me.  Maybe I'd had a good sleep.  Anyway, I came downstairs to the kitchen feeling sort of wonderful and, as usual, started the coffee.  Next came starting the computer and opening doors and windows to let in the fresh air.  The ensuing coolish breeze on my face heightened the feeling of exhilaration and I realized I just felt good to be alive on this calm and quiet Sunday morning.

The sun was shining for a while and a fairly stiff breeze was rustling through the leaves but I don't think it was the weather that was affecting me so much as this moment in my life.  I've gone through the good and the bad to reach this moment and it's a fine one, thank heavens.

I won't try to analyse it any more.  I'll just bask in the happiness of it while it lasts.