Covid Breakdown

 The truth be known, I've been shoving down and ignoring the sadness in my life for a while now and that's something I believe we all do or we couldn't exist.  I thought what I was doing was rising above all that is wrong but I was kidding myself.  The wrong is still there and it's making itself known.  I've got a lot to be sad about...the issues with my daughter, my new health problem, the damn isolation from Covid, and knowing my time on earth is pretty darned limited.  Those things should not be beating me down because I have other, wonderful things going on in my life, too, but I let the bad stuff rise too close to the surface yesterday.

I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself but just wanting normalcy to return, just like everyone else.  The big difference is that we seniors don't have a lot of time to waste waiting.  Maybe that's the hardest part for me.  

Every single day and almost every single minute on the news we're bombarded with facts and figures about Covid and there doesn't seem to be much light at the end of the tunnel until everyone receives the vaccine.  The Americans are driving me crazy with so many people following the example of Trump, refusing to wear a mask or keep their distance.  They've been warned not to travel during their Thanksgiving but their airports are filled with travelers.  They've been warned not to congregate in large numbers but their beaches are crammed.  Do all of these people care so little about their safety or the safety of people they'll come in contact with?  I can't fathom the selfishness and stupidity of it all.

Some idiot claimed that Trump was doing a great job because only 250,000+ Americans have died from Covid.  What the hell!!!!  How brain dead can you be???  The human race is doomed if idiots like this keep procreating.

I just realized I'm angry now.  That's an improvement over being beaten down so that's a good thing.  It's a survival technique to get angry and fight back rather than give up and pout.

Being Happy in an Imperfect World

I work at being happy.  Maybe I should use the phrase "content with my lot" because that more accurately describes how I feel.  No life is perfect and we all have crosses to bear but we also have great beauty in our lives if we don't close our eyes to it.  It's easy to ignore the good in your life when you're besieged by sometimes sad and unbearable issues but that's when we have to work harder to dwell on the good.

One of my great blessings showed up yesterday to teach me how to use some of the details in my new car.  That's my Matt!  He was very kind and very patient with me as he taught me things like how to understand the back up camera, how to tell when my tires were low (one of the sensors wasn't working so I have to take the car in tomorrow to fix that), and he set a bunch of things I didn't even know the car offered me.  I can only take in so much detail at once so he kept it to a minimum.  He also loves my car!

Of all my grandchildren, it's always been Matt who gave me more of his time and company.  He was such a little hellion when he was little...who would have expected he'd be the one to care the most?  Matt has a lovely new girlfriend that we're all very happy with, too.  It really matters when you can relax that your children or grandchildren have made good choices with their life mates and mine seem to be doing just fine.

Today is when I usually take my Sunday drive but it's a not so nice day to go driving.  It's cloudy, windy, damp, and everything i hate about late fall in Canada.  Nonetheless, I'm still happy to be safely at home with my "socialist" health care system!

Yes, no life is perfect but we all have perfect moments and that's what I choose to dwell on and not the bad stuff in my life.  

Platelets Very Low

 I had just 2 more minor doctor's appointments before I'd be free of them for the winter but it was not to be.  I had my bloodwork done yesterday and my platelets have dive bombed which means I'll have to go back to the hematologist.  I'm not sure what it means but my family doctor will fill me in tomorrow.  What I slightly think might happen is that I'll need a blood transfusion.  I have CLL and I know that can become quite serious at any time so I'm worried but not frightened.

I'm not sure what causes our platelet count to fall rapidly and, to be honest, I'm not even sure what they are.  I get a count on my white blood cells and my red blood cells so what the heck are platelets?  I feel no different that I did last year but I have noticed a lot of bruising lately and that does have something to do with low platelet count.  I believe I've always bruised easily, though.

Oh well, we know that old age isn't for sissies.

  

Thank Heavens the Ride Has Stopped

 Well, the next president of the United States is Joe Biden.  There are many states where the count is uncomfortably close and there's also talk by Trump and his followers that the election was rigged against him.  I hope with all my heart that it wasn't but there will be investigations to prove it one way or another.  The idea of an American election being rigged scares me to death because I truly believe that would be the end of our democracy.

I can see where there might be a few individuals who might have hidden or destroyed ballots but I certainly don't want to believe a team of nefarious Democrats deliberately interfered with the election.  It's too scary to think that's possible.

I feel bad for the Republicans who revered Trump and who fear the Democrats because this time must be horrible for them.  To be honest, that's how I and many others felt when Trump was elected president in 2016.  But now there will be a change and we all can only hope it will be for the better.  The country is still being run by politicians and I still think very few of them can be trusted to do what's best for their country.

We all knew Trump would not accept defeat graciously because he isn't that sort of person.  He plans to fight tooth and nail to overthrow the election results and somehow hang on to the presidency.  It's pitiful and embarrassing to see this and it will, in the end, do damage to the Republican party because it will go from "pitiful and embarrassing" to "laughable" if it goes on too long.

Whoever would have thought the president of the United States would behave in this manner?  But we've said that a lot during these past 4 years.

Disappointed

 Like most anti-Trump people, I'm disappointed that so many voted for him.  I'm disappointed that the Democrats didn't win the election by a landslide but I also acknowledge that Biden isn't well and, if he had won, the presidency would soon have been handed over to Kamala Harris who I think is too young to do the job.

I couldn't stay awake to see the end of the election but woke up at 2 A.M. and just had to check in and see who had won.  The worst case scenario filled the screen...it was almost a tie.  I watched Trump come on and declare he was the winner and wanted to stop all remaining votes from being counted even though this has been common practice as long as the mail-in votes were not dated after November 3rd.  I saw his cockiness return after earlier seeing a human side to him when he was more unsure of losing the election.  

It's completely possible that after all votes have been counted he will still be president and that, of course, worries me for the future of the U.S. but, having seen how approximately half of the U.S. voted for him,  I also have to acknowledge that the people have made their choice and they want that blustering, egotistical liar to run their country.  I don't understand it but I do believe in majority rights.

And now to turn on my T.V. and see if there are any updates.