ESP

I've had many, many instances of my ESP at work in my lifetime but I don't trust it 100%.  This time, it seems to be promising that everything will be all right.

I've had a personal worry lately and a few days ago a veil of peace seemed to settle over my shoulders letting me know that there's nothing to worry about and that all will turn out fine.  I was unsure if it was just wishful thinking but that feeling of peace has taken hold and not wavered.

Sometimes we have to trust our intuition (or ESP) and mine is telling me strongly that all is well. 

Needless Gun Violence...Again

The story goes that a lady was giving her daughter driving lessons in the evening and was harassed by a neighbor who drove too close to them.  He was a teenaged boy who was known to be a bad ass.  The daughter honked at him to move his car and he supposedly threatened to get a gun and kill her.

So what does the mother do???  Does she go home and call the police?  No, she goes home and gets her teenaged son, arms them, and goes looking for the boy who threatened her.  She finds him but doesn't accost him, just drives back home where he awaits her arrival.

He shoots and kills her and then her son futilely returns fire.  The lady is dead from a stupid confrontation with a young man she knows is dangerous but had chosen to chase down anyway.

Now, if all those with guns had not had guns, none of this would have happened.  There might have been a street fight if this lady had not called police but she'd still be alive.  She'd also probably still be alive if she'd not made the stupid decision to get a gun and hunt him down.

When are Americans going to accept that the outrageous number of guns in the United States is by far the reason for so many needless deaths?  I have good friends here who own guns and disagree with me but they are the good people who own them only for protection.  Now, if they didn't feel threatened by so many criminals having guns, then maybe they wouldn't feel it necessary to have one themselves.

It's a circular problem that I don't see changing in my lifetime.

There are lots of guns in Canada, too, but the numbers are still low enough to keep gun deaths minor in comparison to other violent deaths.  Human beings are inherently violent by nature and that violent part of us can be triggered by many things.  We might lash out with words or punches but, if we have a gun, someone is going to be badly hurt or killed.  The answer seems to be a simple one...fewer guns. 

Bad Me

We all live and learn but I seem to be having a lot of embarrassing learning experiences lately and my only excuse for my ignorance is my ignorance.

I returned some skin cream to Macy's today because they either sent the wrong item or I mistakenly ordered the wrong item.  No problem except the clerks screwed up the return and the reorder and I had to swipe my card 4 times.  When I was asked to swipe the 4th time, I got upset wondering just how many jars of cream I'd end up paying for.  Another customer, angry with the wait said she felt very sorry for me and my problem but railed at the clerks.  I'm sure those clerks ended up with a headache by the time they finished with me.

I was calm but understandably worried about how many times I was asked to swipe my card...there was no problem with my card but with the clerks' knowledge of how to process the return and re-order.  In the end, I told them seriously that I was being calm and quiet at the moment but if I ended up with multiple charges on my credit card I'd be back screaming for the store manager.  I felt a little sorry for them but no customer should have to be dealt with in such an unprofessional manner.  
Then off I went home, stopping at a Burger King for lunch.  Simple?  No.  The young cashier yawned widely as she took my order only to make a mistake on the kind of sandwich and forgetting my ice cream cup altogether.  I was already miffed about the jar of cream fiasco so I loudly told her she'd made the mistake because she kept yawning and not paying attention.

As I sat and ate my damned lunch, still feeling low because of all the silly problems I'd had today, the cashier came to my table and apologized.  She said she works two jobs and had only finished the first one at 2:30 A.M. before having to come to work at Burger King a few hours later.  I apologized to her and commended her for working 2 jobs, all the while feeling like a piece of crap.  In my miserable little mind, I'd falsely assumed she'd been out partying all night and that's why she was so tired.  She said she was doing the best she could just to get by.

There's a saying that we shouldn't be too quick to judge others because we don't know the burdens they're carrying.  How true.  I know this...and yet I let myself behave in a way I'm ashamed of now.  Maybe this incident will stay as a reminder to me to make more of an effort to be a good person and not a bitch just because my day isn't going well.   

Who Does He Think He Is?

I don't watch music awards or give a hoot who wins them but apparently Kanye West pulled another rude interruption at the last one.  He seems to think he's some kind of elite messenger who has the right to interrupt someone's shining moment in order to tell the audience that someone else should have won the award.  Is that colossal rudeness, or what??  Why isn't he banned from the awards??

I'm very disappointed in my granddaughter, Lisette, who has been holding a diatribe on Facebook defending this idiot because he is black and therefore shouldn't be held to the same standards of rudeness as the rest of us.  She believes his message is authentic and therefore not rude.  Crap!!

As the diatribe continues, one of her friends makes a rude and insulting attack on my daughter's (Lisette's mother) comments and Lisette doesn't haul off and lambaste her idiot friend!

It's important to know when to fight your view of injustice and when to defend your family.  In my opinion, defending your family comes first! 

Hate Crime

Is it really a worse crime to murder innocent people because of their race, sexual orientation, or religion?  Is the murder not just as heinous if none of these reasons are considered?  I don't understand "hate crimes".  

How is it a worse crime if a hateful gun toting man walks up to their victim and kills them because of their race, sexual orientation, or religion?  What if the murderer just didn't like the way they walked or the color of their eyes?  How is one crime worse than the other?  What if the killer just hated women and chose an unfortunate stranger to kill?  How can these crimes not be treated equally?  I simply don't understand the reasoning.

If our criminal justice system wants to choose a true hate crime that should receive tougher treatment, try keeping pedophiles in prison for life.  Execute the pedophiles who rape, torture, and then murder a little child.  These are crimes that deserve the "hate crime" label and severe punishment more than those committed because of race, sexual orientation, and religion.

Muslims Murdered Over A Parking Dispute?

The wife of the man who shot to death three Muslim neighbors said it was not a religious hate crime but was done over a parking dispute.  Now, which makes more sense?  It's horrible no matter what the murderer's reasons were but he's been described as a very angry man.  He hated religion and loved guns.  Not a good scenario for anyone to have to live beside.

I'm not happy that he's been described as an atheist, as though his hatred of religion stems from this.  From my experience as an agnostic, atheists don't hate religious people...they just can't identify with them.  I know gun enthusiasts won't agree with me but, if this man had not owned a gun, he might have just taken his aggression out in a non-lethal way.  I think he was spurred by pure hatred of anyone who didn't fit in with his narrow concept of what is correct and was a time bomb waiting to go off.

Sylvia, who is a good religious lady, and I had a long discussion yesterday about religion.  We are very good friends and understand that each has a different concept of "god" but we have respect for each other's right to our views.  Again, I as an agnostic have more questions than sacred truths I uphold.  Sylvia, trusting in her faith, doesn't have as many questions as I do.  I don't hate religion or the religious.  I just don't understand how they think and don't really care as long as they don't feel hatred for me and my questions.

We talked about an afterlife where all is peaceful and loving.  We talked about what happens to the evil people in the world.  Sylvia thinks there is a hell waiting for them but I think we become as innocent when we die as when we were born.  We discussed why god doesn't interfere and stop evil and cruelty in the world.  Sylvia believes we are on our own to make the best of it while I wonder why a god wouldn't stop it in it's tracks.

Sylvia and I have very different ideas about life and religion but that's only a facet of our characters.  We think a lot alike on many subjects and I like her because she is honest and kind.  I hope she thinks the same of me.  Friends (and neighbors) don't have to have identical beliefs to get along.

My heart hurts for the loss of the three Muslims who were murdered so senselessly.  

Neater

What a freeing feeling it is to get rid of unnecessary stuff.  We tend to let it all creep in over many years because we might need it later...but too often later never comes and we're cramped with stuff we'll never use.

I took some bags of clothing I haven't worn in years and a load of actually good stuff to the Salvation Army.  I first put it out in the yard so my neighbors could help themselves and they did take a lot which left me less to cart to the Salvation Army.  I learned to be ruthless when in declutter mode while emptying my house so it wasn't too difficult to do the same with the trailer.  And the Florida room does look much roomier!!

There is still some to go but the majority has been removed and I couldn't be happier about it.  

Torn

I'm an avid people watcher and love to imagine what circumstances brought them to this moment.  Today I was in Arbys and the customer in front of me was an obvious street person.. extremely dirty.  He was buying one of the dollar burgers and I felt very sorry for him, enough that I almost offered to buy him a whole meal.  But fear of gaining his unwanted attention held me back.

I watched as he sat at a table in the middle of the room...and wondered uncomfortably if someone like him had recently sat in the chair I was presently sitting in.  He propped his feet up on a chair and, instead of eating what turned out to be just one of the many burgers and fries in front of him, spent most of his time scratching his head.  It gave me the creeps, even as I tried to think what awful life experiences made him what he was.  My mind switched from pity to repulsion, and then to dismay as he scratched away.  He really was one of the filthiest people I had ever seen.

A family picked up their meals and their little girl rushed right over to sit at the table next to him, totally oblivious to him.  Her family quickly redirected her to a table on the far side of the room.  He remained a pariah amid all the "normal" people in the room.

As I left the restaurant, I was still warring with the emotions he'd made me feel.  On one hand I felt tremendous pity for any human being who'd fallen so far and yet I still could never have made contact with him.  I know that's a true failure on my part as a human being but it is what it is.

  

Getting Things Done Day

This is the one day of the week I have nothing planned and can get a few things organized.  I was up around 6:15 and by 7:30 I'd reorganized the big drawer of the computer desk that I keep padded envelopes in.  Granted, this took me about 3 minutes but it was a job that needed doing.

My plans for the rest of the day are to do laundry, pack up stuff for the Salvation Army, and dispose of much of the packaging material I use for Ebay because I'm mainly getting out of the Ebay business.  I still have a few odd items I'll play around with from time to time, especially all that lace I brought down, but I'm done yard saleing to buy more product.  I may end up with a roomy, neat trailer!

I have tons of lace that takes up very little room and needs only envelopes to mail so I do see a day when most of the clutter is gone from the trailer...probably when I decide to sell it, I bet.  There won't be a day when all crafts and other interests of mine disappear, at least not until I'm senile or dead.  One of the most wonderful things about being a senior is that your time is mainly your own and you can pursue any little interest that crosses your mind.

Being a widow, I don't have anyone to tell me I should stop developing new interests or spending money on them.  I can go to the casino without having to face any disapproval, especially if I don't tell Cindy I went.  She doesn't nag but she does get a stern look on her face when I talk about my gambling.  I don't understand how my Kim hates shopping and my Cindy hates gambling.  Shelley isn't much of a gambler, either.  I gave birth to those girls!!  

All of my girls are also gourmet cooks and they sure didn't get that from me, either.  Of course, I'm nothing like my own mother other than we shared a liking for parties and dancing so I shouldn't be surprised when my children don't share my interests.

Back to my "getting things done day"...I'll be leaving lots of time for playing on the computer, talking to neighbors as I go back and forth to the laundry room, watching a bit of T.V., and probably eating lunch at Arbys.  I might even work on the red, white, and blue frilly scarf I'm making for our U.S. Day door prizes.

Life is good!

  

Interesting Thing About Diet Coke

I used Sensa for over a year, sprinkling most of the time, and lost about 25 lbs which I amazingly kept off.  Even when I stopped using it, my new eating patterns remained so I continued losing 1, gaining 3/4 which was not so bad for someone like me.

About a week ago I noticed a huge increase in my evening appetite that worried me because I know how fast I can gain weight.  This was the first time my appetite was out of control since I'd begun with Sensa and it was really strange because it seemed to happen overnight.  My normal evening snack for the past year has been a yogurt cup and I really was quite satisfied with it until last week.  All of a sudden I wanted more, much more, and I tried to appease the hunger with as healthy a choice as I could but I knew I was in trouble.

I told Sylvia, my Sensa partner, and she asked if it might have something to do with the cases of Diet Coke I'd recently stocked up on.  Holy crap!!  I thought back to when I'd bought the Diet Coke and when my increased hunger began and darned if they weren't connected.

I honestly don't keep Diet Coke in the house very often but every once in a while I feel a craving for it.  I know there are no calories in the soda but I have learned that soda stretches your stomach and shouldn't be consumed if you're trying to lose weight.  I knew this but assumed it wasn't too important.  How much can your stomach expand, for heaven's sake??  Well, my experience in the past week was a huge eye opener for me.  Going from feeling comfortable after eating a yogurt in the evening to feeling starved after eating one was a dramatic change in my nice new eating habits.

I had no Diet Coke yesterday and my evening snack was the usual yogurt cup after which I wasn't hungry at all.  

This afternoon I caved in and had 2 Diet Cokes so it will be interesting to see how my evening will turn out.  

Gambling Still

I was all ready to announce to my lady friends who go to the game rooms with me on Mondays that I was giving up gambling until our dollar got healthier.  Well, Judy was the first to arrive and informed me that our dollar gained 2 cents on the American dollar making it only $1.29+ to purchase instead of $1.31+ and that was enough to make me decide to gamble next week, too.  Two cents might not sound like much but it dropped it below that horrible 30 cent mark.

Then I had been thinking of staying home for the winter until I saw photos of their latest snowstorm and the thoughts of wading through thigh high snow were more than I could cope with.  I'm going to remain a snowbird until I can't drive to escape the snow!

On the plus side for my game room day...I only lost half my money so I was a sort of winner.  We had so many laughs, as we always do, and there's no putting a price on good times like this.

Life Changes

Things change and we either have to change and adapt with them or we end up feeling terribly resentful.  My life this year will reflect quite a few changes and I'm ready to adapt.

My best friend here at the park, Sylvia, has sold her trailer and won't be coming back.  I will miss her immeasurably because she's such a huge part of my Florida winter but I'll hopefully see her in the summer when I attend my family reunion in New Brunswick.  It's not much but it's something.

I don't have many winters left in Florida and next winter will be lonelier without Sylvia.  I have lots of friends here who, though they won't take Sylvia's place, will keep me from being too lonely.  They are good people I don't want to lose, either.

And then there's the deep diving Canadian dollar to contend with.  I just decided today that the best way to deal with that is to stop going to the game rooms on Mondays.  That's $60 a week I'm saving for better things and it won't be a big loss not to be able to go gambling.  

Life is always going to change for us as the years go by and that's a fact.  Sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse but usually it's a sideways change.  One thing will replace another and life goes on.

Today is one of my quiet, stay-at-home days and I used it to do laundry, wash curtains, wash floors, and air out the mats.  I'm content.  

I've also decided to get out of the Ebay business.  Sales are just getting slower and I'd like to rid my Florida room of shipping supplies.  This will be my last winter of selling on Ebay which means that yard saleing must also come to an end.  A lot of changes in one winter, wouldn't you say?

Well, there are a lot worse things in life so I'll just relax and enjoy what I have and not fret about what I'll lose.

  

Isis

I don't understand the savagery that Isis commits on anyone they choose.  I picture these monsters as having brains riddled with poison and not being truly human any more.  Beheading is an archaic form of punishment but Isis does it to their prisoners on a regular basis.  It's beyond our understanding.

What happens to a man to make him capable of kidnapping young girls, using some of them as suicide bombers, beheading someone?  Just how deep is this capability in our own souls?  We see acts of savagery everyday in our world...sometimes in our own neighborhood...and wonder what brings a human being to commit such atrocities.  

Isis seems to have attracted like minded individuals who become even more dangerous in the group.  

And then there are the kind and responsible human beings who spend their lives taking care of others or fighting injustices.  It almost makes me think we might be two species because that's easier than thinking we are all the same but just make different choices in our lives.

It worries me to think what lies beneath our surface.