Mother's Day 2009

Today is Mother's Day and it makes me think of all the reasons I would never have wanted to go through life without my children. Personally, I can't imagine living your life without them.

I was only 17 years old when Kim was born, and totally unprepared to be a mother so I made many mistakes. But even at 17 and not having a clue how to raise this tiny miracle, I felt such a love for her that I had previously never known existed. I told my grandson who is expecting his first baby that he's about to discover a love stronger than anything else in the world.

Cindy came along when I was 19 years old and I remember worrying all through the pregnancy wondering where any more love would come from to give to her but, lo and behold, we humans are gifted with an infinite capacity for love and I loved her just as much as I did Kim.

By the time Shelley arrived when I was 23, I was an old hand at expanding the love in my heart so I knew there would be plenty for her.

I gave birth way too young the first and second time but I wouldn't change a thing because that would mean I wouldn't have my beloved Kim and Cindy in my life. And I wouldn't have the wonderful grandchildren they've given me nor the much anticipated greatgrandbaby who will arrive in July.

It hurts my heart to think of people who choose not to have children, either their own or adopted, because they'll never know the joy that comes with motherhood. You just can't imagine it until you live it. Of course there will be days you'd like to drop the little buggers off a cliff and walk away but those moments are few and far between. There will be days of cleaning up puke from a sick child and days of temper tantrums (both of the child and of you) that make you wish you'd always been celibate, but the love you feel for that child will get you through it.

I've listened to endless renditions of "my dog has fleas" on a clarinet, watched baseball games where the score ended up 72-10 (and not in Cindy's team's favor), watched endless concerts and plays (some good and some not so good), mended broken hearts, and best of all, watched the birth of one granddaughter.

Would I trade one moment of the joy my girls have brought me? Never. Would I trade one moment of the few sorrows they brought me? No, not even that because it's all a part of our lives together. We are family and we stick together.

Motherhood isn't always easy but it's always worth the trip and I wouldn't have wanted to live my life any other way.