What Are We Doing?

After the incident with the two six year olds blowing kisses to each other and as much as being labeled perverts, I heard another story today that also borders on the ridiculous...sad but ridiculous.

My sister runs a day care in her home and her good husband, who is retired, helps her out occasionally with the children. He's always the chauffeur because Sharon doesn't drive. The kids love Jim because he's one of the sweetest, gentlest men on this earth.

Running a professional day care means that any adult in the home has to submit to a police check to make sure they don't pose a danger to the children in their care. This makes perfect sense and the rule should have been on the books years ago. Sharon has been running the day care for years and both her and Jim passed the check with flying colors.

The minor problem began the other day when one of the little girls was being picked up by her father after work. Jim was puttering around outside as they left and he patted the little girl on the head as she passed by, saying he'd see her the next day. Immediately she began to scream, "You touched me, you touched me!". Thank heavens her father was standing right there and saw it all so he apologized for his little girl's outburst. This didn't help poor Jim who had just had the fright of his life. What if that had happened while he was momentarily alone with the child, say in the kitchen or on the porch?

Sharon had to make a report of the incident to her superior and have the parents sign it. The parents were embarrassed by the whole thing and instantly co-operated. This child obviously doesn't know the difference between a good touch and a bad touch and this is why we're indoctrinating a whole generation of children who think any touch is bad.

Jim was so shaken by the incident that he now refuses to even help the children into their car seats. A very good and innocent man has been made to feel like a pedophile because he patted a little girl on the head. He'll never dare show any affection to a child again and it's such a loss...both to the children and to Jim.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it in one of my blogs but a few years back I did some mentoring and the little girl was about 8 years old. I was told before our meeting that I was forbidden to touch her in any way and I agreed because that was the policy. Well, we had our first meeting and when it was time to leave I automatically gave her a little hug. She froze up like a popsicle and the worker who was monitoring the meeting gave me an equally freezing look to warn me.

I understand how careful everyone has to be when dealing with other people's children but maybe we've gone too far in some ways. A child needs to know that a stranger's pat on the head isn't necessarily a bad thing. A child also needs to know that it's not necessarily dangerous to give and accept little hugs. I know all of this is easier said than done but it's still so very sad that tokens of sincere affection will gradually disappear because we don't know how to do it without fear of molestation or being thrown in jail.

Only a generation ago our neighborhoods were filled with children playing together out on the street, walking back and forth to school, and vying for their teacher's occasional hug. Today's parents are so fearful of losing their children that they drive them everywhere they go, don't allow them to play outside, and would press charges against a teacher who hugged the child. Can it really be that we've come to this in order to keep our children safe? Are so many adults a true danger that all adults must be kept under suspicion?

Maybe it's true. Maybe it's the only way to keep our babies safe...and that doesn't say much for the human race, does it?