Every day I awaken and begin to think about my troubles and every night I crawl into bed and continue beating myself up. I'm becoming so tired of this. When you're feeling down, it wears you out physically and mentally because you are struggling each day to put on a facade of normalty. I'm getting awfully tired.
Each day you think that, well, you survived yesterday so just suck it up and try for another day. Maybe things will look brighter soon and you'll be back to your old self. You carry on with plans and events just as before thinking that by carrying on your usual routine you'll drag yourself out of your funk. There's a fine line between success and failure and I'm riding that line.
Sad events, like an old friend passing away, pull you down further than they would have if you weren't already down. Happy events don't have the power to bring you up far enough. I keep looking at the title I chose for this blog and it's making me mad. That is actually a good sign! I swore I'd never let anyone bring me down to depression again and I've just renewed my vow. I'm back in the fight...hope I win.
2 comments:
Pat, this makes me sad. I am hoping it is about transition. It's hard to stay upbeat and sometimes we don't have to. Sometimes it's okay to stay in bed and pull the covers over our head. But not for too long....
It's about some of the crap that life throws at you sometimes. I'll get through it, though.
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