Fight or Flight

I have a strong fight or flight response to unpleasantness. It's about 95% flight with a weak 5% fight. I steer very clear of anything that might be unpleasant and live my life in a safe little bubble as much as I possibly can.

I hear stories of families with active and everlasting disagreements and I wonder how they can stand to be around each other. Apparently some people thrive on the excitement of conflict but I'm not one of them.

I find my excitement in situations where everyone is harmonious and having a good time, not bickering. If you'd known me years ago you wouldn't believe that because I bickered with my husband all of the time...he tended to ignore me but that was a huge part of the problem. I felt the only way to get his attention was to be confrontational. Stupid, right?

These days I have no-one I care to argue with and that's a great relief. Being in a state of anger and disharmony is a terrible drain on your strength and leaves very little room for true happiness. I'm not saying that my way of walking away from problem people is the right way but it is my way and has worked quite well for me for a long time.

My husband passed away almost 6 years ago and the last time he said something that would have had me fiercely retaliating was just before he passed away. My newly formed instinct was to retreat and gather my thoughts and that's what I did. It was the right thing to do. I'll probably never forget his words but I'll always be glad that I kept my mouth shut at that time.

I have so much in my life now that is positive and easy to live with so it's easy for me to run away when faced with unpleasantness. I just refuse to deal with it anymore. My daughter, Kim's, philosophy on life is to LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH and I agree completely. There's no place or time for unhappiness if we can avoid it at all.