Something has been irritating me for a few days. Not irritating in the sense it made me mad but irritating in the sense that I wish I'd never heard it. Every time I remember, I want to power wash my mind to erase the memory. I don't want to know anyone who is cruel enough to think the way this person does.
One of our ladies in the park just might have passed away today. I haven't heard for sure yet but the story going around the park is that she is brain dead and would be unplugged from life support this morning. She was a friend of mine, one I admired for her spirit and her personality. She's suffered terribly from one illness after another for the past couple of years and wasn't expected to survive for most of that time. But she did...over and over. She'd often be able to leave the hospital for a while and continue a not so bad quality of life here thanks to the care she received from her good husband. This would last for a few weeks or months at a time before bad health forced her back to the hospital.
She was doing okay when I left the park in the spring but in the hospital when I got down here this year. I remember thinking she must be superhuman to survive so many serious illnesses...much involved her breathing and infections. I've never expected that her lifespan would be too long because the myriad illnesses she'd suffered had weakened her so much. I wasn't surprised that her body finally gave up the fight and she just let go.
And now the ugly part. One of the ladies here who apparently didn't like my friend said that Karma took care of her and that she got what she deserved. This woman had no idea and didn't care how hurtful and foul her words were to my ears. She'd just finished telling me how important her religion is to her...how can that be?? She'd just finished telling me that she won't attend dog races because of how poorly the dogs are treated. She had more compassion for the dogs than she did for a poor sick human being. How can that be?? I understand that this awful woman is not liked herself and for good reason but her words still haunt me. How can you be a deeply religious person and still have a heart full of hate?? How could anyone be happy that even their worst enemy should suffer and die?? From what I know, my friend simply opposed one or more of the woman's suggestions for change in the park... changes we all opposed. There might be reason to dislike my friend but not hate her so terribly.
The woman had previously invited me to come to her trailer and share in one of her religious ceremonies and I'd accepted. I couldn't go now. As much as I hate confrontation, I will be very open to her about my reasons for refusing to go. I am repulsed by her words.
Having a confrontation with this woman won't have any effect on my social life here in the park but it will be detrimental to my peace of mind. I'll be repulsed every time I see her even if no confrontation ever occurs. In my whole life I don't think I've ever experienced such vile thinking and I've seen a lot that wasn't nice.
I needed to put this in the blog, maybe to try to understand it. It hasn't helped.
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