Goodbye, Friend

The Florida park where I winter will probably always hold amazing memories for me, and today will be one of them.

One of our winter residents passed away and his memorial service was held today.  Gary was terribly ill with metastasized cancer and knew he had little time left but he told his wife, Jan, that he wanted to come to Florida and end his days here.  This brought the memory back to me of Dennis' final days when we managed one week in March, 2005, to be at the park here before his health failed rapidly and we had to hurry home.  His comment to me was that at least he'd gotten to see Florida one last time.  It wasn't "Florida" that he meant but the good people in our park that had become almost like family to us.

When Gary passed away we all gave our support to Jan... many of us have lost our spouses and understand what she is experiencing.  We're old enough to have attended many funerals and, even though there aren't any words to really help, a comforting hug or just someone to sit with for a while is a blessing to someone who has just lost a loved one.

Jan has shown a strong exterior since Gary passed but we're not fooled.  She and Gary had been married 43 years and your mate becomes almost part of your skin when you've been together that long.  If they die before you, it's akin to an amputation which requires extensive healing time.

Jan's son and daughter made the trip here for the memorial service and I'm sure they were as amazed as I was how many of our park residents attended it.  Our clubhouse was packed and many spoke out about how Gary had impacted their lives.  I am Jan's friend but never got to know Gary very well but I heard from so many what a kind and helpful man he was to everyone.   One of the stories told was how, while he was too ill to physically help one of our neighbors, he offered to go to their home and explain what needed to be done.  Helpful to the end!

When Gary knew his time was near, he told Jan he wanted 2 of his favorite songs sung at his memorial.  He was a religious man so I wasn't surprised at his first choice which was beautifully sung by our park manager, Sandy.  I'm not a religious lady so I don't know the name of the song.  His second choice was understandable, too.  "Country Roads" extols the beauty of his home state of West Virginia and that was the song that did me in.  Sandy and 3 others stood at the microphone and sang it more beautifully than I've ever heard before and then some of our park residents joined in.  I hope Gary heard it wherever he is on his journey.  I felt such a love and pride for these good people who have all traveled from different states and provinces to settle in this park.  

There is a time to live and a time to die so let's live while we can and, when our lives come to an end, hope we're remembered with love.