Validation

As nice as it is to have someone agree with you, I don't need validation for my personal beliefs.  Some are whimsical, some are tenuous, and some are cast in iron.  It's those deeply ingrained beliefs that I don't like anyone to dismiss.  They might not agree with me but it's somehow hurtful to hear someone trounce on them without even hearing the whole story.

When I was up at Joyce and Larry's, I began to tell Linda the story of what I'd witnessed the day Dennis passed away and Larry immediately told me I'd imagined it.  He couldn't open his mind for one second to accept that I definitely had seen what I'd seen.  I guess that's what you call a "closed mind".

I didn't imagine it.  It might not have been what I thought it was (Dennis' soul leaving his dead body) but I definitely saw a mist burst out of Dennis and fill the room.  I've treasured that memory as something I was privileged to see and I'm still hurting from having Larry dismiss it as my imagination.  I wonder why that hurts??

Dennis probably would agree completely with Larry because he, too, didn't believe in life after death but I saw something I'd never seen before or even heard about at the time.  What it was I'm not positive but I damn well did see it.

I think it's bothering me so much because there were times in my childhood I heard those same words when I tried to tell my grandmother I'd heard sounds (probably rats) running inbetween the wall partitions in our apartment.  She'd actually seen a rat in the basement so she knew they were there.  She also dismissed my words when I told her our landlord (lived downstairs from us) was always trying to grab me.  I've grown up being very sensitive to being told I'm only "imagining" what I know is true.

It's hurtful when you're not believed. I do understand Larry's point of view but I will never understand my grandmother not believing me.  

Nothing will take away the memory of what happened when Dennis passed away.  I don't need validation from anyone.  I saw what I saw and that's that.