Spanking

I spanked my kids.  I did it because it was the societal norm at the time to teach your children they'd done wrong and to deter them from doing wrong again.  I learned with my grandchildren to stop using brute force to discipline them and never really spanked again other than a tap on the butt (but even that is wrong).

It is imperative when raising children to teach them that there are consequences for doing wrong but it sure isn't right for a grown ass adult to start beating on a tiny child under any circumstances.  Once I started thinking for myself instead of following those societal norms, it made perfect sense to use more intelligent methods.

I learned that spanking was abusive when Nick, about 2 years old, didn't do as I told him so I whacked him on the leg.  It was one of those whacks that come out harder than expected and I was immediately ashamed of myself.  Here was a little baby being physically hurt by his 5' 2 1/2" loving Gramma!  I can tell you it was an eye opening moment and it shocked the heck out of me.  What was I doing, for heavens sake!!!!

Some parents have gone way too far in the other direction, gently telling their little "buddy" over and over that their actions are unacceptable but not taking enough steps to stop the behavior.  Kids are smart and they immediately identify when they have power over their parents.  Too soft parents usually raise bratty kids.

I honestly began to get a better result by using "time out" where the child can sit quietly and reconsider his/her behavior and if it was worth having to be shunned for short time.  A short time (1 minute per year of age...3 minutes for a 3 year old) is an eternity for a busy little child and quite unpleasant for them.  If that doesn't work and the child is unruly, send them to bed for a nap.  Just think of what hitting them would teach them...it teaches them to hit.

One of my Facebook friends also said it is important to send your children to church but I raised 3 absolutely wonderful daughters without "churching" them.  I taught them good values.  I sure wish I'd never hit them, though, but what is done is done and it can't be undone.

At least I learned better.  Too bad I didn't learn it before whacking my poor little Nick.