Squawking Kids in Public Places

I recently read a blog written by a lady who was complaining about the behaviour of onlookers when her child was having a tantrum at a restaurant. She was livid because her child was laughed at and cajoled by the onlookers who apparently didn't realize that laughing at a crying child only makes matters worse.

If I'd been there, I wouldn't have been laughing but this is what I would have been thinking..."Lady, take your child aside and deal with the situation yourself. He may be the center of your universe but he is only the periphery of mine and I prefer to dine in peace and quiet conversation. I definitely don't blame him for creating a disturbance but I'm looking at you with more than a little displeasure. You are the responsible party and you shouldn't be allowing anyone under your charge to disturb other people. He doesn't know any better but you should!"

I was in a restaurant once where four adults were dining with a 2 year old who was screaming in the upper decibels. It was disgusting to watch those adults chowing down and completely ignoring the fact that their out of control toddler was ruining the meals of everyone else in that restaurant. It showed total disrespect for the rights of others. It also worried us wondering what was actually wrong with the child.

My daughter had the perfect solution when one of her children had a public tantrum. She or her husband would gently take the child by the hand and take them outside. They'd explain that such behaviour was not acceptable and, if the child chose to calm down, they'd be allowed to go back inside. Only when the tantrum was over did they go back in. This is how children learn what is and isn't acceptable in our society.

Many new-age parents are under the misguided notion that anything their child does should be tolerated by everyone else. What happens is that their child becomes disliked through no fault of their own. They can't understand that their bad behaviour, which is lovingly tolerated by their dopey parents, causes others to avoid them. It's sad to watch these lonely and unhappy children trying to make sense of the more judgmental environment away from home.

When my own children were growing up I'm ashamed to admit that the occasional spanking followed bad behaviour. By the time my grandchildren arrived I had dragged myself out of the dark ages and learned that "time-out" and counting 1-2-3 worked much better. Children are smarter than their parents give them credit for...they learn early which buttons to push to get what they want. In the case of a public tantrum, removing the child can only have positive results...both for the poor child and for the captive onlookers.