Who's to Blame

I talked to a lady today who is broken hearted because her brother is a drug addict, drug dealer, depressed, and suicidal. She blames his mother, his friends, and his pain (caused by being shot in a drug deal).

At what point should this man take responsibility for his own situation?

Too often we wallow in a mess of our own making and, instead of taking steps to break away, accept that it's too late and there's nothing we can do about it. Been there, done that. Most of us have at one time or another.

Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a supportive family or good friends who lift us up instead of dragging us down. In that case, the onus is on us ourselves to find the strength to crawl out of the hole and succeed against heavy odds.

I have seen people who started out in life with every cross imaginable to bear but they've chosen to become productive adults who now live the good life. They could have settled for what their parents had but they didn't. Where does the strength of character come from in people like these? And why do others fall weakly by the wayside?

I've often wondered how black people manage to succeed when just the color of their skin closes so many doors to them and I've come to the conclusion that the secret is a strong pride in yourself that makes the difference.

If you have enough justifiable pride (not false or arrogant pride), you won't settle for being held down and you won't choose a lifestyle that is harmful to you.

The man I spoke about made many bad choices from childhood on and that's why he is where he is today. We are a product of the choices we make, whether they are for our good or not. And in the end we have to personally accept the credit or the blame for the finished product.