Light Deprivation Disorder

It seems I've always been affected by a prolonged lack of sunshine and that's why I thrive in the Florida sunshine all winter. Canada is notorious for constant grey and dreary days from November till March. The odd sunny day makes the world so bright and beautiful, despite the cold, but they are few and far between.

Psychologically, I've tried to determine why I feel so miserable when faced with as little as two days without seeing the sun. I wonder if it's some deep down fear that maybe the sun will never shine again...we make jokes about that happening, don't we? I find myself searching the skies for any sign the cloud cover is breaking up and then I glory in the sight of cracks of blue showing through the grey.

Years ago I used to go to a mall and shop away the day when the skies remained overcast for too long. These days I've grown to dislike shopping unless I'm with a group of friends and then the shopping is just an excuse for socializing. Yesterday I whined to my daughter until she took me to the casino where we spent all afternoon. She lost a lot and I lost just a little for a change. I found one of the lucky machines that was paying well.

Speaking of which...I believe that some machines at the casino, changed often, are programmed to pay better odds than the others. I don't for one second believe my lucky machine from yesterday will be a lucky one when I return to that casino but, like a lemming, I'll head straight for it the next time I'm there. Logically, how can I be so knowledgeable and yet go against what I know is true?

Back to light deprivation. I know that we on earth, humans and vegetation alike, would all die without the sun. It gives us life. Maybe the people who become so depressed when deprived of sunshine for extended periods are people who carry stronger primitive memories of our beginnings. Man-made light is a poor replacement for the real thing.

This morning the sun is unsuccessfully trying to push it's way through the overcast sky but the forecast is for more rain. My little ray of sunshine is that I should be getting my car back this morning and then I'll be meeting my sister for coffee this afternoon. Sigh!