The Power of a Hug

I just received a sweet e-mail delivering me a hug from my penpal. It got me thinking about how late in life I finally felt comfortable giving hugs to people (other than kids and husband) and how, once started, seem to hug everyone who comes near me.

My family wasn't demonstrative while I was growing up and I honestly can't remember ever being hugged or kissed by any one of them. It's kind of ironic that I spent most of my childhood avoiding the attentions of dirty old men so thank heavens I hadn't noticibly felt deprived of affection by my own family.

I've always loved children so it was easy to express my affection with hugs for them but I began to notice it was a bit more uncomfortable for me to hug my own daughters as they grew into their teens. Maybe they had begun to rebuff me as kids tend to do when they mistakenly think they're too old to openly show affection toward their parents. I don't remember the how or why I began to hold back my hugs.

My youngest daughter left home when she was 22 years old and it was on one of her visits back that my "hug reflex" was reactivated. I was saying goodbye to her at the front door when she suddenly turned back and gave me a good, strong hug. I was a little taken aback at first but it seemed to open something up inside me.

From that day on I made an effort to hug people and it wasn't easy. I'm still very aware if the person I'm hugging is comfortable with it or not and will stop immediately if I sense them freeze up. I understand them. Maybe they haven't reactivated their own "hug reflex" yet but maybe my attempt created an opening.

There are very few people in my life that I love but there are hundreds that I like a lot. I hug them all and it makes me feel good. I hope they get a warm feeling from it, too.