Realization

I realized something today. I really have been keeping my distance for a long time from people who make me uncomfortable. It has been mainly an unconscious act on my part and one that made me sad at times.

Life is too short and complex to waste precious time on a relationship that seems to be disintegrating rather than improving. Once you've done everything possible to make it work then you should step back and allow nature to take it's course. Sometimes there is just too much baggage to make it work and to continue trying is like beating a dead horse.

In one of my relationships I tried every which way to improve it but with no success. I remember the day that reality dawned on me and I realized that no matter what I did or didn't do the relationship was doomed. It was what it was and I finally stopped trying to create substance out of fog.

Knowing when to back away isn't the same thing as giving up. Knowing what you will or will not tolerate should be what you base your decision on. Backing away allows the relationship to settle into it's rightful level so that you know what you're dealing with instead of fooling yourself that it's something it isn't. Not easy when it's a family member but not impossible, either.

I think accepting a loosely based relationship is probably healthier than constantly attempting to cement it into the tighter one you think it should be. One thing I've come to understand is that true friendships flow freely as long as a mutual respect exists.

I guess my philosophy now is that you should allow all of your relationships with people to take on their own personal form instead of trying to mold them to fit your ideal. It will save you a lot of heartache.