Torn

I got some bad news today and I'm very torn about how I feel. A lady who had started out as a friend and then deteriorated into a non-friend is very ill but her history made me wonder if the story was actually true and that makes me a little uncomfortable.

Because of the nature of her illness, I would like to contact her and wish her well but I don't want to renew our friendship. That would be hypocritical of me and I need to be honest with myself. Still, an act of kindness is always the right thing to do.

We all go through these processes of personal relationships every day. We open up freely to those we love and trust and we open up in varying degrees to others in our lives. We don't treat people on the periphery of our affections as though they were bosom friends. It's a song and dance we practice to keep order in our lives.

I guess I'm feeling guilty for disliking a person who is seriously ill. That's the long and short of it and I'm having trouble making sense of it in my mind. It's okay to dislike a person if they're well and being a pain in the ass but not if they're possibly dying. This has been praying on my mind all day and, by writing this blog, I've finally reached a solution. I'll phone her and wish her well because it is the truth.