Walking Away

My sister told me yesterday that she's resigned from the church she attended for 42 years. Her reasons are numerous but one that struck me the saddest was that some of the parishioners were rude and abrupt with her. It got me thinking about how it makes you feel when someone is callous enough to be snippy instead of polite.

Sharon was hurt enough that she gave up a church she'd felt at home in since she was a teenager. She also gave up her position as a choir member and that had been a great pleasure to her over the years.

Sometimes people just don't care or understand how a few curt words to someone can be the straw that breaks the camel's back...the words that chase that person away forever. When you cut someone short or give clipped answers to questions, then the person on the receiving end feels worthless. Another thing that happened to Sharon is that, when she tried to help with preparing bags of donated food for distribution, she was turned away and told she wasn't needed. This is such a shame. Volunteers should always be made to feel helpful.

Sharon is the big loser here. Her absence from the church will be noted for a short time and then forgotten but she'll never forget. I suggested she take a short hiatus and then try going back again but it probably depends on how deeply she's hurt. I think it always depends on just that. How many times and in how many ways can you tolerate rudeness before you walk away for good? It affects us all differently.

I hope Sharon is able to come to terms with what happened, forgive the rude people and embrace the nice ones who happen to be the majority. We can't let a choice few irritating people control what we do in our lives so it's best to ignore them and continue on our way.

My pet peeve? People who keep cutting me off as I'm trying to explain something. I have more pet peeves but that's the last one that irritated me so much I wanted to spit. My husband often used to do that and I'd hesitate, waiting for him to stop talking, and then say "Can I speak now?". Sometimes he let me but when he didn't, I just walked away. Walking away from an argument brings your blood pressure down.

I advocate walking away but be very careful about whther your intention is to walk away "for a while" or "permanently" because sometimes you can't just walk back.