What am I Missing?

I suppose I've always been an agnostic, not quite believing but continuing to have hope in a higher power. So many of my friends are true believers and I see how their faith gives them strength and I wonder why I can't somehow find that same trust and belief. It's not something that can be forced, though, so I go through life carrying my burdens alone.

Yesterday I drove into the small town near my trailer park where I watched a procession of church people (the church bus drove ahead of the procession) marching in some sort of pilgrimage. The lead person was carrying a bulky wooden cross which symbolized something significant to these people. All were solemn faced but not with stress but determination and comfort.

Almost everyone seemed to be Mexican and I know that a lot of the Mexican population in that town is very poor but they have this deep faith that helps them overcome adversity in their lives. I watched the procession, not understanding what it was actually for, and felt a sense of missing something important in my life. The quiet little parade touched my heart in a strange way.

There is so much about religion, particularly organized religion, that I can't accept for reasons of logic but I will always wonder what I'm missing.