Risque Dinner Theatre

I was writing an e-mail to my sister-in-law, Joyce, this morning and talking about dinner theatre. It reminded me of one that my husband and I attended about 10 years or more ago, one I'll never forget.

I knew that the show (musical) was going to be risque but I had no idea that all the performers in the show would be nude. This wouldn't have bothered me so much if our table had been further back in the room but, as luck would have it, we sat at a table directly in front of the stage.

I love dinner theatre and it matters not to me how good the acting is because, if it's bad, I can just analyze it for my enjoyment. Having a stage full of naked people close enough to touch means I have no memory of how good or bad the acting or singing was in this particular show. I remember trying not to look shocked and trying not to let my eyes dwell on some of the anatomy too damn close to my face. Some were huge, by the way.

Being in the front row and being of a certain age means that you just might be used by the actors. And, OMG, that is exactly what happened. The performers were being given directions on oral sex by using a banana (OMG!) and one decided to ask me if I'd care to give a demonstration. I just about died on the spot! If I could have run out of there that moment I would have been gone but I was afraid of making a fool of myself. Thank heavens they ignored me from then on.

I'm not a prude (or at least I tell myself this) but I was way out of my league attending this show. My advice to anyone attending any live show is to sit as far back as you can and then you can handle anything the actors do onstage or to the unfortunate souls in the front row.