Heaven

Nick came over this morning to cut the grass and brought Nolan and Nash with him. My first thrill was hearing 2 year old Nolan rushing up the front steps as fast as his little legs could carry him and joyfully saying, "GG, GG!", over and over. He ran into my arms for a hug and then raced off to play with his toys. I'm not sure if he was so happy to be here to see me or play with those toys and I don't care. I was just very happy he was here.

Natasha brought 7 month old Nash in in his car seat. As usual, he sat there with a sweet little contented smile on his face, happy with the world. He is like a little Budha, fat and serene. He's sitting up now so I put him on the floor with some toys but he was more interested in chewing on his shoe. I can't remember when I was able to bend myself in two like that!

Nolan contentedly played with his cars, especially anything to do with "Bob the Builder". In time, Nash started rubbing his face so I cuddled him up to me and he fell asleep. Talk about heaven. There isn't much in this world that can compare with a sweet little sleeping baby nestled into you. Nash also doesn't mind sitting on your lap when he's awake and leaning back on you while he watches the antics of his energized brother. I've always wanted a real cuddler and now I have one.

Nick said something about not being my #1 interest anymore but I explained that I want to savor every moment I can with his little ones because they grow up and change so fast. Nick won't change much over the winter but Nash will be walking and talking when I get home in April and Nolan will be carrying on conversations.

I think of these babies as gifts in my old age. I always wanted to be a Gramma but I never thought ahead to the possiblity of being a Great-Gramma.

I was a little worried that Nolan would be afraid of this big old scab on my lip so I pointed it out to him and said that I had a boo-boo. Every so often, he'd look at me with a sad look on his face and say that his GG had a boo-boo. No fear, just concern. Maybe I worry too much.

Of course, I adored my Nicky being here, too. He'll never really know how strong my love is for him because he probably takes it for granted and that's the way it should be. It's unquestionable and eternal.

I had the 16th radiation treatment on my lip today and now there are only 4 to go. I finish next Thursday and will be thrilled to death to have it over. The healing won't really begin for 10-14 days after the last treatment but the end is in sight.