On Being Overwhelmed

My car is still an ongoing problem but not bad enough to keep me off the roads. I thought about what Kim had told me I should have done...fly home, buy a new car and drive back to Florida...and then thought about how I was feeling when I first made it to the park. I was so overwhelmed with stress that there was no way I could have done that.

I do love the 2 day drive to Florida but I was still recovering from the treatments to the skin cancer on my bottom lip, 6 months of stress from that alone. Then there's the normal stress of preparing to leave home for the winter. Add to that the car problems which worsened on the trip down. Then the stress of paying $2000 to fix it and finding it wasn't fixed.

Now comes the arrival at the trailer, the unpacking and finding out that a metal strip had somehow become dislodged from under the back door giving access to who knows what. Mickey had fixed it and came in with me to make sure no snakes had come inside but the ensuing stress of wondering if something was lurking in a dark corner.

Then the normal stress again of just becoming settled in a different home...I was happy to be here but I'm an old gal who doesn't handle any kind of stress well so, considering all I'd been through, I really just wanted to sleep for a week and try to repair myself.

No, Kim. I didn't have the gumption it would have taken to arrange a flight home, settle in again and start shopping for a car. My emotional resources were tapped and I knew it.

So, what did I do? I hugged everyone who welcomed me back and drew strength from that. I joined into activities with buddies who made me laugh so much I could feel the stress fading away by the moment. I took time to sort my feelings and make some decisions. I decided that I'll enjoy this southern winter I've been so fortunate to have and, if the car can't be fixed, I'll fly home in April. All I needed was a bit of time to gather my strengths and now I'm okay again.

Today is Monday, gambling day, so Joann, Barb, and I will go to the internet casino. We'll have our $2 Wendy's lunch and gather as many casino freebies as we can. If we're lucky, we'll win a few bucks. Life is what you make of it!