It broke my heart to hear this morning that two 16 year old boys in my city committed suicide. It's not known yet just why these very young boys felt so hopeless that death seemed their only salvation. It really doesn't matter why they did what they did, but that their lives felt more horrible to them than the prospect of death.
I know that feeling because I've been there and the total despair felt is unbelievably painful. I remember thinking that I didn't want to survive one more second living with that pain. There was no room in my mind for understanding that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that things had to get better one day. When you're in that awful state of mind you cannot think rationally because the emotional pain overwhelms you.
It's such a terrible waste for those boys to have taken their lives. They were only 16 with years of joy and happiness ahead of them if only they could have gotten beyond this moment. There had to have been signs of their misery if only someone had been able to help them pass through the bad times to get to better ones. Totally depressed people can't do it on their own and need the guidance of either a professional or someone they trust.
When I hear of someone committing suicide, I remember again those horrible hopeless and unhappy days when I reached out for help and was heard. I wish someone had heard these boys before they gave up on life.
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