one more milestone

since i was able to pull on underwear yesterday, i figured i must be able to pull on pants/capris, too, so that's what i did today.  how nice to be wearing clothes like a human being again.  it also gives my state of mind a lift, too, as i see these improvements.

speaking of my state of mind, i do have a good one almost all of the time.  disappointments in events or people don't keep me down for long but i don't forget how different i was when i had depression.  in those days, the slightest disappointment devastated me.  how awful to live like that.  the difference i see these days is that i'm able to see beyond the moment of disappointment or worry and to realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  there's the old saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and i believe that is possible if you have faith that things can and will get better.

kim told me that a co-worker's husband is going through lip skin cancer treatment and is allowing his mental suffering to get him down.  she told her that she could call me for support but she hasn't so far.  another thing i believe in wholeheartedly is that it will help to speak to someone who has or is having the same problem.  i know that john and shelley have helped numerous people because of their experience with john's leg amputation.  there's never any reason to go through a traumatic experience alone because there is always someone willing to ease your way.

deep disappointment in the actions of someone you love or care a lot for can often be harder to deal with because their actions can't be changed or healed.  it happened and nothing can change that.  you can re-admit them to your life but the dynamics of your relationship won't be the same.  i don't really know if it's a fault of mine or something perfectly normal but, once i lose trust in someone, it never comes back.  i admire people who are more forgiving than i am but secretly think they're not being realistic.  it isn't wise to place your trust in someone who has proven untrustworthy.

oh well, life is full of every emotion under the sun and my choice for today is to enjoy my little success of again being able to wear underwear and capris.  any disappointments in any other category just aren't too important at this moment in time.