soul?

i really don't normally watch a lot of t.v. but have more than made up for it the last 5-6 weeks.  since i prefer real life psychological programs, i've spent many hours watching a new show, "ID", which follows true murders, the chase and capture of the killer, the trial, and some interesting insight into why that person became a killer.  what's frightening is that we all seem to have the potential inside us.

i mentioned in one of my blogs how i've only felt murderous rage once and that was when a neighbor made a threatening move towards my 2 year old daughter so i know i could kill to protect my loved ones from being physically attacked.  Other than that, I abhor violence of any kind.

one of the shows i watched was about danny rawlings (hope i spelled that right) who was the serial killer who murdered 5 college students in gainesville, florida about 20 years ago.  i was very interested in the tormented look in his eyes.  it almost made you feel sorry for a man who was so deeply disturbed that he was drawn to taking innocent lives in order to satisfy an emptiness inside himself.  normal people might think he was insane but the only thing he lacked was empathy towards others.  

i'm a strong believer in the soul.  it's the essence of who we are and i sometimes wonder if people who end up committing horrendous crimes were born without one.  then again, maybe the soul just chooses to abandon someone who prefers to do evil.  i don't know how else to explain truly evil people.  we all do wrong at times but our conscience (or soul) usually leads us back to the right path.

it frightens me to think how there are people around us who appear perfectly normal but whose dark side might lurch to the surface at any moment.  danny rawlings had a gentle demeanour that would have fooled me for a while but, given enough time, we can usually see through to what lies beneath and hopefully be wise enough to keep our distance.  i've known some pretty nasty people who first presented as kind and personable but who gradually proved to be anything but.  it's always a disappointment to discover that your first impressions were wrong but just be thankful you make the discovery before too much harm is done.

there are so many truly good people in this world that it never made sense to me to continue relationships with anyone who brought me down.  i like being around people who give me reason to improve myself.  heaven knows, we could all use a little or a lot of improvement.  me, i consider myself a work in progress with a firmly attached soul!