Senior's Worst Fear

I don't know if this is every senior's worst fear but it is mine.  I treasure the memories and knowledge I've accumulated over my lifetime and they are a part of me.  To lose them is to lose part of one's self.  It's normal to have lapses of memory at times but when it happens to a senior, we often have that little stab of fear that maybe this is the start of Alzeimers.

There are a few people here in the park that are in the early stages of Alzeimers but we don't see much of them because they don't socialize much.  Their mates can usually escape for an hour or two from their caregiving duties but they can't really relax.  Their minds are back with their loved one and hoping they are okay.

One of the ladies with Alzeimers is a closer friend of mine so I get to see her a bit each year and it's becoming more apparent that her disability is worsening.  This year we're not sure she even knows who we are but she still participates in some of the activities where we keep an eye on her.  Her husband is a great comfort to her, taking her with him wherever he goes.  I'm sure life isn't easy for him but he accepts his duty as her husband to care for her as long as he can.

My biggest fear of becoming senile is that I could be a burden on my family.  I've told them that when the time comes, just put me in a nice nursing home but visit me regularly so that I'll be treated well by the staff.  It isn't a horror for me to think I might end up spending my last days in a nursing home but I do have a small fear of being abandoned.  That happens to more seniors that we'd like to believe.

Age isn't a curse but senility is.  Once a person becomes senile, the person they really are is already gone.  I know how fragile life is and I'm taking every opportunity to enjoy my waning moments.  With luck, I'll remember most of them.