The Visit

Yesterday I went to visit a friend who is dying.  That may sound harsh but it's the truth and a fact of life.  This is a lady I've admired since I first met her, someone who has lived a decent life and raised her children on her own.  She doesn't in the slightest deserve the deal she's been given by whoever is in control of things here on earth.

I've put off visiting because I didn't want to see her in the condition she's in but that was selfish of me.  This lady wasn't supposed to live to see last Christmas but she has held on by sheer will.  Luckily, she has a wonderfully supportive husband who takes very good care of her with the help of visiting nurses and support workers.

These are god fearing people who are strong supporters of their church and both have lived their lives in exemplary ways...hard working and all that is good in human beings.  I felt they should feel some anger for their god but they haven't lost their faith, instead have drawn comfort from it.  

She's always been a cheery soul who, despite poor heath for years, never complained about her problems.  She and her husband have lived a comfortable and interesting life for the past 15 years (second marriage).  They seemed destined to be together, so happy with their second chance.

She's unable to care for herself now and has to be helped to her bed or recliner where she spends most of her time.  She has wonderful family and friends who help to fill her days so she's very lucky in that aspect.  But the worst part of her day is when she's helped into bed.  Any stress on her body at all makes her breathless but the simple act of getting from chair to bed is the time when she fears she won't recover her breath and that, to me, is simply horrible.  She faces this every single day and I don't know how she has the strength...but maybe I do...it has to come from her deep faith in her religion.

She remains the same person she's always been, one who accepts her life any way it is.  She's grateful for what she has...a good husband, family and friends and feels peace in the comfort of her religion.  I hate the way in which her body has failed her and robbed her of more good years that she richly deserves but she doesn't complain.  I'm in awe of her strength.

The best we can hope for is that she'll die peacefully in her sleep and I honestly hope she's been right all along and that there's a heaven waiting to welcome her in.