Daydreaming

It's entirely possible that I daydream more than most people and that's because I'm very aware how many forks in the road of life I came upon.  At each and every fork, I had to make a conscious decision which path to follow.  Some were big mistakes but I have no-one to blame but myself.  Granted, many times I felt I had no choice but to choose the path I did but, in the end, it was my choice.

I often do my daydreaming in the hour or so before I fall asleep at night.  I imagine how my life would have turned out if I'd made different choices.  It's really amazing how just by choosing one alternate path would have changed my life immeasurably.

I shouldn't have had my children so young but I would never change that part of my life because, by doing so, I wouldn't have the family I do today.  Maybe accidents are not accidents at all but a higher power's way of directing us.

Many of my daydreams begin after my family is intact.  I imagine having gone back to school and better educated myself.  I did try that but my husband couldn't deal with it and I quit.  What if I had struggled on instead of caving in??  It makes for an interesting scenario in my daydreams.  

But, way too often, I can't make a different choice of path in life simply because I know how much it would cost me.  Even my daydreams become restricted because it would mean a loss of something I treasure in my real life.

By circumstance, I have landed my 75 1/2 year old butt in a pretty nice place.  I'm happy.  I have a loving family and most of my health.  Maybe this is where I was meant to be all along.  But it's still fun to imagine how it could have been if I'd taken a few different roads.