I spent most of yesterday crying and eating potato chips, in misery over losing Isabel. Absolutely useless and fruitless waste of time. I ignored phone calls but did fortunately answer one from Joann...she was bringing me some goodies she'd baked. Then I opened Facebook and saw that Carol had left me a message saying she didn't think Lloyd was going to survive...he's been in the hospital since Saturday (3rd time this winter). What upset me was that it was 6:30 and she'd left the message at 3:30. All I could think of was that she was at the hospital alone at such a terrible time.
It was too late for me to attempt to drive to the hospital so I hunted down Dee who can see to drive in the dark. Of course, Dee is an angel who goes far out of her way to do anything she can to help others so I knew she'd drive us. She did.
Both Carol and Lloyd's daughter, Patty, were sitting in the room with Lloyd who is in an induced coma while a tube has been put down his throat to help him breathe. His blood pressure is too low and his lungs are filled with fluid. It didn't look good.
We went off to the visitors room to talk and it was good to hear that Carol and Patty are both in accord with not allowing unnecessary life sustaining measures to be used on Lloyd. He's 82 and in terrible health. I wouldn't want to be put on life support after all hope is gone and we know he wouldn't, either.
Dee and I left for home feeling secure that Carol and Patty were comfortable with whatever should occur. Sometimes all you can do is just be there.
There is a time to let go, to go on to whatever lies beyond what we know as life. Many fear the unknown but we really have no choice but to take that step when the time comes. We can only hope we've left behind good memories for our loved ones.
When I got home, I sat and thought about what an emotional day it had been. I still grieved for Isabel but I was more at peace with it. Wherever she's gone, she's there by now and I hope her heaven is as beautiful as I envision it.
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