Isabel

You never know who will come into your life and make a magical difference and this is how it was with Isabel.  I met her first as a kind of snobby (so I thought) little 10 year old girl who seemed to have an unusual hard exterior...not bad but pugnacious.  I didn't know at the time that she'd been adopted by very loving parents (my neighbors) but who knows what memories she carried from who knows what kind of background.  I never asked.

As time went on, Isabel married and moved away from her childhood home but I stayed on and, lo and behold, years later Isabel moved back into her childhood home with her family of husband and 3 children.  We were neighbors again but this time it was different.  We became friends and she became like a 4th daughter to me.  I understood her now and admired her strengths greatly.  One of her daughters had been born with cerebral palsy and was quite handicapped by it.  Isabel and Steve were such excellent parents, doing everything in their power for their children.  Steve was known as the "mayor of Duncombe Dr. because he was out and about all the time helping and socializing with his neighbors.  Isabel used to tell me she modeled her life after mine (not exactly true, though) by working part-time only and having more time with her children.  This was a couple who worked together as a team and their closeness lasted till the end.

Isabel passed away yesterday from a cancer that had taken such a hold that even a spirit as strong as Isabel's couldn't stop it.

Maybe it was because she was adopted that family was so very important to Isabel.  Her children and then her grandchildren became the most important people in her life...after Steve, of course.  Their lives were fully entwined and that proved to be what made her last days good ones.  I won't allow myself to think how hard it was for her to know she wouldn't be around to see her grandchildren grow up but at least she knew the adults in their lives would take good care of them.

We remained neighbors for many, many years before I sold my house a couple of years ago so I have a million memories of my time with Isabel.  She was an exceptional woman, taking up rowing in her older years and becoming excellent at it.  The only fly in her ointment came from one of her daughters who became estranged from the family and remained so even today.  It's a tragedy, shame, and unimaginable that this is the case but we can't always understand what makes some people tick.

But the true and loving constants in Isabel's life were her husband, children, and 3 grandchildren.  Her joy came especially came from them.

It was Stuart who messaged me today to give me the news of Isabel's passing.  I told him that I'd held hope she might beat the damned cancer because she'd fought it over and over since being diagnosed and lasted longer than predicted.

Stuart got married last summer and one of my favorite memories of all time will be the love I saw in their eyes as son and mother danced together.  She seemed so well and so happy.  It's something to be thankful for..that she got to attend her son's marriage to a lady who also loved Isabel.  There was so very much good in Isabel's life and it's just not right that it was taken away from her too soon.

Steve said he was glad her suffering was over and I agree.  I remember feeling the same way when Dennis passed away.  Their illness makes us feel as though we're on a horrific roller coaster of hope and dismay until we become numb..In the end, we only want them to be at peace and then we'll handle the fallout from their loss.

Losing someone we love and who held an important position in our lives is like losing a part of our history.  It's like being whittled away and it will take time to accept it.

I miss you, Isabel.  I always will.