Memorial

Seniors have to get used to loss because we see so much of it.  If we're in our old age, our friends are also and we begin to lose them on a regular basis to death or dementia.  We learn to tolerate pain and discomfort in our old bones because that is also a fact of life if you live a long one.

Faye, Val, Donna, Frank, and I are going to a memorial service tonight for an old friend who passed away recently.  Well, we are all closer to her husband who we've known for at least 60 years and it's him we want to comfort while showing our respects.  Apparently he's having a hard time dealing with the loss of his wife whom he loved dearly.

I think it must be harder on a widower than a widow because it's usually the wife who "makes the home".  In the case of the last two friends of mine who passed away this year, their husbands spent quite a few years caring for them through their illnesses so their homemaking skills must be honed but it can't be the same home life without their spouse there with them.

I believe widows fare better simply because most of us have so many interests beyond the home while most men aren't overly sociable.  I know I'm generalizing but I think it's close to the truth.

When Dennis passed away, my first impulse was to get our finances in order so I knew where I stood.  I was the one who always handled the money so it was fairly easy for me.  If I had died before Dennis, he would have been lost as to his financial position.  I tried to get him interested but he said, if I died before him, he'd just go to the bank and have them look after him.  And he was a super intelligent man!!

It's really foolish to not have your affairs in order when you're a senior.  It's actually a wise thing to always have your affairs in order no matter how old you are because, when your gone, someone is going to have to pick up the pieces and it's best if those pieces are arranged so as to deal with them easily.

Your children will probably be uneasy asking you personal question about finances or funeral preferences so it's mainly up to you to educate them.  Mine are simple....everything left is split equally between my three daughters and I want to be cremated and my ashes put in a pretty urn and placed in the niche with Dennis' ashes.  Your requests don't have to be complicated but it's important that they be honored.

The memorial tonight will be held at a Jehovah Witness hall and I'm hoping it won't be like a church service.  But the memorial is for Harry and Erika so whatever makes Harry happy is what we, his old friends, will deal with.