It's Always Something

A comedian once said (and wrote a book titled) "It's Always Something".  She was right.  Problems in the family, problems in our city, problems in the world...we can't have a damn day of complete peace!

I'm a worrier by nature and it's a curse.  One niggling little hint of a problem and I immediately go into worry mode.  This involves considering all the possibilities and then trying to convince myself to choose the best one but too often failing.

When I went to the hematologist last week, I sat in the waiting room with a dozen or so patients who almost certainly were suffering from something much more serious than I was.  The lady sitting next to me began a conversation and I mentioned my hope was that the outcome of my visit would be that my CLL was nothing to worry about and that I could go back to having my family doctor monitor it with my regular bloodwork.  In my heart I thought that was a pipe dream but darned if that isn't what happened!  I don't think the good news has completely settled into my worrying little mind, though.  What if there was some kind of mistake?

After all, someone made a mistake when I was diagnosed with a 3.5 cm cyst in my pancreas last November.  Now I'm worrying that my results got mixed up with someone else's and there is someone walking around thinking they're fine but they're the one with the cyst!  A recent MRI and a catscan showed nothing in my pancreas and not even a lymph node that size so how could this happen??

Doctors make mistakes all the time.  The quack doctor I had when I was in my 20's and 30's told me I was pregnant many times when I wasn't.  He told me I had a nerve rash when I actually had chicken pox.  He told me I needed a hysterectomy and a gall bladder removal.  I still have all my innards!  When you think about it, it's a good thing I don't agree to anything quickly and sometimes never at all.

But now I'm going to worry about who the heck is carrying around that 3.5 cm pancreatic cyst and hope it's benign!

Update:  A sigh of relief as I found out one of my male relatives does not have prostate cancer.  He'd had an elevated PSA...kind of embarrassing to find out that having sex elevates your PSA.  He's been told to refrain from sex for at least 5 days before his next test.  I'd been pretty sure he'd be okay but when I got the phone call I fell apart.  Nerves are a funny thing, aren't they?  Anyway, such good news and I'm very thankful!