Losing a Child

My girls know I become a basket case when they're sick so they do tolerate it well.  They know I can't help worrying until they're on the road to recovery.  That's the way it is, has always been, and will always be.

We have a new friend who has joined our card games on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  She seems so calm and put together so I was shocked when she said her son had passed away last month.  I searched her face for signs of needing help but she remained stone faced and I realized this is how she's managing to keep herself together.  Underneath the exterior is a cauldron of grief that no-one can help alleviate.

We were playing cards when she told me she'd lost a lot of weight recently and it was because her son had just passed away.  Being in a group like that meant I didn't want to subject her to questions so I told her how sorry I was (such a meaningless phrase) but stopped there because I was afraid she might break down.  Dealing with another's grief is terribly difficult because we never know how much or how little to say.

I barely know this lady having just met her a week or so ago but I know I can't just ignore what she said and move on.  I'll try to speak to her privately and tell her she's welcome to come and talk with me any time she needs a friend.  I can't offer understanding because, thank heavens, I still have my 3 girls but I can offer a sympathetic ear.  I hope I never, ever go through her experience.

I've had many deaths in my lifetime but the one that I don't think I could survive would be if I lost one of my children.  To lose a parent, grandparent, spouse, or even a sibling could not compare with the loss of a child.  

I don't like this blog...it's too sad.