Thinking About Love

Love is one of the strangest human emotions and often hard to describe.  I was just thinking about calling my family back home on Christmas day when all of them are together and, knowing I can't talk long, what I would say.  I thought of telling whoever I was talking to to put it on speaker phone so everyone could hear and then telling them that I love them all.  I do.  Now my sister Sharon will be there and I'm not on good terms with her but I know I love her...and that's the tangent my thoughts followed.

How can we often dislike the person we love and continue to love them?  Maybe it's because they aren't bad to the bone but have issues we can't tolerate.  It doesn't mean we don't love the good side of them.

That's how it is with Sharon.  I do love her and I know that she is mainly a very good person but she does have issues I dislike.  It was when I discovered I couldn't trust her (she wouldn't go to the hospital with me when I broke my wrist) that the issues became too much for me to be around.  It was "the straw that broke the camel's back"and I haven't been able to get past it.

We all had Christmas dinner last year at Cindy's and I sort of thought we might be able to heal the hurt but Sharon was brittle and cold so I turned away again.  Some relationships are too much to handle even when you love someone.

Anyway, the deeper the love, the more you will tolerate from the person you love because it's so hard to give up on love.  Sometimes you might just want to distance yourself for a short while to contemplate the value of the relationship.  I'm a hard person...I know that is one of my faults but that's just the way it is.  Do I work on changing it?  I have and I've succeeded in some ways but I've come to the age where my time left will be with people who are kind and trustworthy.  And there's nothing wrong with that!