Up At Dawn

When I was younger I could have slept all day and rarely saw dawn break.  I used to attribute that to sleepless nights where I wouldn't even fall asleep until near dawn but that might not have been the case.

These days, the slightest bit of morning sun filters through my closed eyes and will wake me up.  I don't know what else to blame except my bladder when I wake up before dawn.  In any case I really do love seeing the world brighten as the sun comes up.  I view it as another chance for a happy day.  In my middle years waking to a new day meant waking to an overwhelming sadness so I treasure the happiness I have now.

I often think of what I could have accomplished with my life if I hadn't had to deal with depression.  The world is so full of possibilities but, when you're deeply depressed, you can't see that.  It's just a struggle making it through one more day rather than making that day a useful one.  My doctor at the time treated me with strong antidepressants off and on instead of really helping me.  It was my new family doctor who actually took steps to give me back my life and I'll always be grateful to him.  He is the one who diagnosed me and got me counseling.

Anyway, that's off the subject of waking up to this beautiful new day.  October has been pretty cold and windy but, when the sun is shining, it doesn't really matter.  The day is beautiful!  I haven't yet done my drive out to the country to see the lovely autumn colors and I'm afraid I might have waited too long.  The strong winds we've been having have torn a lot of the dying leaves from the trees already.

I don't do much in the early morning except drink coffee and play on the computer but that still leaves me a long day to fill as I choose.  Today I choose to take that drive into the countryside!