Living With Depression

I had depression for a good part of my adult life and it's pure hell if undiagnosed and untreated.  It is also pure hell to live with someone who has depression.  I've written before about my personal experience with depression, how it made me feel, and how I was able to overcome it but today I'll say a few words about how awful it must be for the family and friends to tolerate(yes, a strong word) with a depressed person.

None of my family understood what I was going through.  They only saw the outward manic manifestation of a woman out of control of her emotions so just think how scary that must be to kids!  And then a husband walking on eggshells or simply trying to ignore what was right in front of him.  What an absolutely horrible home life for all of them...me included.

A depressed person is suffering so intensely in their mind that they are often incapable of seeing how their erratic behaviour is affecting their family and friends.  You can't be faulted for something you can't control but the suffering is also spread out to the people who care about you.

I could never have dragged myself out of my own misery at the time to consider how it affected my family but, once on the mend, clearer thinking is possible and I'm so very sorry for what my illness put them through.  Too late and all were affected in some way and that's the really sad part.

Anyway, if a depressed person is very lucky they will have people close to them that take notice they need help.  They might never understand the illness but they can be instrumental in not doing things to make the condition worse.

And then, sad as it might seem, they might have to accept they can't live with the difficulties that a depressed person creates and want a quieter, easier life.  It all depends on the depth and length of the illness and how it affects a relationship.

Like any chronic illness, it will have an effect one way or another on every relationship.