After A Death

I was a basket case while Donna was in the hospital because, in my heart, I believed there had to be something I could discover to save her.  It about drove me up the wall when the staff removed all nutrition...I felt she could survive if they just gave her more time.  This feeling didn't go away even after she passed.

As the days have gone on, I think of her constantly and the huge space she occupied in my long life but the tears are gone now.  I wonder where where she is and hope it's a good place where I'll find her when my time comes.

As each day passes, I don't miss her less but I accept the reality that she really has passed away and there's nothing I can do to change that.  I remember following this same path of emotions when others have died and maybe it's nature's way of healing us.  We can't wallow in grief for too long or it's debilitating...each death will affect us for a different length of time, though.  I'm sure Donna never quite escaped the grief of losing Jill.

Death comes to us all in the end and it seems it never comes at the right time.  I don't know if it's because we cling to life or fear the unknown of death.  It's got to be harder for an atheist to give up their life but I'm an agnostic with doubts and hopes.  I do believe in an afterlife.  

And today I'll think of Donna again and remember the good times.