End of Year 2019

Like most years, this has been one of many ups and many downs.  There were some parts I wouldn't want to go through again but the worst of all was losing Donna.  It was more or less unexpected because we all thought she'd have her heart surgery and then go on with her life but a bad mix of circumstances stopped that.  Donna was a brittle diabetic and she started having serious problems with her foot in the fall, getting an infection that just wouldn't heal.  I think the stress of that took a toll on her heart and it began acting up, too, and needed surgery but first they had to clear up the infection in her foot.

I think a "catch 22" situation is when you're damned if you do and damned if you don't so that's what happened here.  Doctors held up the heart surgery too long by trying to heal the foot infection.  By the time they decided to amputate her leg, it was too much for her heart.  It was the most difficult death I ever had to deal with and I wondered why until I realized that Donna and I had been friends with no arguments or issues for all the 62 years we knew each other.  It was an easy friendship and I miss her terribly.

I was quite sick all last winter and think I really should have been hospitalized just before coming home in April.  That was a sort of reminder that I should be worrying about my own mortality.  My mind is still fairly young but my body isn't keeping up.  A lifetime of poor eating habits, no exercise, and an affinity for sitting on my butt instead of working hard have become my downfall.  When I die, I'll probably be alert enough to keep asking questions.

I've enjoyed a lot of family time this year and I'm very happy I decided to spend my Christmas at home instead of in Florida.  I'm also very happy that we got the trailer sold and I'm going back to the park but to a brand new rental for the winter.

These are my twilight years and I really haven't got much to complain about.  Life has given me three wonderful daughters, eight intelligent and hard working grandchildren, and two (to date) greatgrandsons...time will tell how they make out!  I had a lot of sadness in my earlier life but it seems the fates tried to even that out by giving me a darned happy life in my old age.

Anyway, I'll drop in and see Cindy and hers on Christmas Eve, then go over to Nick and Bev's with Kim.  Kim and I will have Christmas dinner at Nick's and the boys will be there, too.  Matt is in Florida already.  Boxing day I'll come home, tidy up and do a final laundry.  Kellie will come down to spend the night and we'll leave for Florida early on the 27th.  On the 28th, I'll see my precious Shelley, John, Jake, and Matt.  On January 2nd, I'll head over to the park for the winter.  Yes, this is a happy old age I've been granted!

Why We're Confused

We have been consistently conditioned over the years to stop thinking that the LGBT's are abnormal and to stop discriminating against them.  This has mostly been for the good and something I believe in completely even if I don't understand a lot of it.  It definitely is wrong to treat a person cruelly just because their sexual identity differs from your own.

What completely confuses me is something that I was reminded of the other day when watching "Say Yes To The Dress" on T.V.  The bride, who was absolutely gorgeous, described herself as trans female.  As gorgeous as she was, I could see that there was something a little amiss but, as usual, wondered why it had been necessary for her to point out that she was born male.  

The show continued with her trying on many wedding gowns and looking fabulous in each and every one.  Her entourage was also a little off to me and I wondered if I'd ever be able to accept those differences as normal.  It doesn't matter as long as I treat them with the respect they deserve.

Near the end of the show, the bride mentioned that her groom was a trans male and that's when my jaw dropped and I realized there just isn't enough time left in my existence to understand all of this.  A person who was born a male but transitioned to a female was marrying a person who was born a female but who transitioned to a male.  None of this made sense to me and it probably never will.  It certainly is a strange world we have made for ourselves, isn't it? 

Winter Wonderland?

I love the look of the trees coated with ice but I have to ignore the fact that it's the weight of the ice that will break off branches and possibly damage the trees.  It's a beautiful sight just the same, though.

Today is one of those days and the only thing marring the beauty is that it's overcast again.  Lord, how I hate grey skies.  I did write on Facebook, though, that I don't have to go out for anything, my sweet little apartment is nice and warm, and my fridge is stocked with food so I really am very lucky.  My kids are off to work as usual and I'll worry all day that they don't have an accident.  Days like this are a double edged sword for me...enjoying the fact that I'm nice and cozy at home but my kids are out in the elements.

I'll be leaving for Florida in just 25 days and I'm really looking forward to the warmth and especially the beautiful blue skies that will please me most of the winter.  Kellie is driving me down but it will be the last time she can so I'm not sure about how I'll manage next winter.  I could drive myself but I'm a little unsure of my capability to do so.  It's been lovely last year and now this year to have Kellie do the driving.  I will always be so grateful to her for her kindness.

But today I'm staying home and probably will for the rest of the week due to the screw in my tire.  I'll have to check it on Thursday to see if it's completely flat because, if it is, I'll have to call CAA to come and put the donut on so I can take it to Canadian Tire for the appointment on Friday.  I know I'll need one new tire but I'm thinking it will more likely be two.  Poop happens!

Now I'll try to enjoy my seclusion and hope there's no ice on the roads when my babies drive home from work.